The Joyful Mourning - A Podcast for Women Who Have Experienced Pregnancy or Infant Loss

This week we start a special 4 part series called: This is Motherhood, Too. A special series about what motherhood means to the mom who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss. Listen in to our 2nd annual round table conversation with 4 women, each having experienced different types of loss as they share honestly about their journey of loss, grief and finding hope. My hope is that no matter what type of loss you have experienced and how long ago you experienced that loss, this conversation would make you feel known and understood and less alone in this journey.

In Part 1 of this conversation I ask my guests three questions:

1. What does motherhood mean to you?
2. What has surprised you about this journey?
3. What would you say to a grieving mother this Mother's Day.

Their answers to those questions are incredibly insightful and hope-filled and honest. I am so grateful for each of these women and can't wait for you to get to know them over the next 4 weeks -- I know you are going to love them too.

We created a workbook that goes along with this podcast series to give you an opportunity to answer these questions for yourself as you consider how your motherhood journey has been shaped by loss. No matter where you are in your grief journey I think doing this will help you to find healing in a new way. To download that workbook head to themorning.com/motherhood.

MEET OUR GUESTSwww.themorning.com/motherhood

• Kristin Hernandez
• Aimee Jones
• Micayla Lyons
• Corrie Lovette

For our best and most helpful resources for navigating Mother's Day, download our free Resource Bundle & Workbook: www.themorning.com/mothersday.

JOIN THE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode161

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

A Special Bonus Episode. Listen to Meg Walker read her letter To the Mom Grieving a Miscarriage.

Each day this week we will feature a special bonus episode. We pray these words would bring you hope and remind you that you are loved and not alone.

To read Meg's letter: www.themorning.com/blog/to-the-mom-grieving-a-miscarriage

For more resources to provide hope and support, especially during Mother's Day, head to themorning.com/mothersday

Join Our Free Community: www.themorning.com/community

A Special Bonus Episode. Listen to Morgan Golding read her letter To the Mom Grieving a Stillborn Baby.

Each day this week we will feature a special bonus episode. We pray these words would bring you hope and remind you that you are loved and not alone.

To read Morgan's letter: www.themorning.com/blog/to-the-mom-grieving-a-stillborn-baby-1

For more resources to provide hope and support, especially during Mother's Day, head to themorning.com/mothersday

Join Our Free Community: www.themorning.com/community

A Special Bonus Episode. Listen to Alexandria Muller read her letter To the Brokenhearted Mom Grieving an Infant Loss.

Each day this week we will feature a special bonus episode. We pray these words would bring you hope and remind you that you are loved and not alone.

To read Alexandria's letter: themorning.com/blog/to-the-brokenhearted-mom-grieving-an-infant-loss

For more resources to provide hope and support, especially during Mother's Day, head to themorning.com/mothersday

Join Our Free Community: www.themorning.com/community

Listen into this very, very special episode, made up of 11 different women with different stories of loss, all sharing a message of hope for you as we prepare our hearts for Mother's Day. Their words of encouragement and honesty are sure to remind you that you are not alone as they are words that come from a place of true knowing and understanding.

I am incredibly thankful to the women who so beautifully and courageously shared their stories and words of hope on this episode. Thank you to Amanda Gilmore, Amber Hanson, Halie Clark, Kara Mullen, Kayla Wasielewski, Kristyn Szala, Mary Margaret Powitz, Meg Walker, Melody Joseph, Nicole Gardner, and Olivia Mueller. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

It was my joy to listen and be encouraged by you.

For our best and most helpful resources for navigating Mother's Day, download our free Resource Bundle & Workbook: www.themorning.com/mothersday.

Celebrating Motherhood Join us for a FREE event. May 1 at 8p est.

A safe space to celebrate, to grieve, and to honor your motherhood. Click here to Register

JOIN THE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode160

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

You're listening to The Joyful Mourning Podcast, a special Bonus Episode. Join me in listening to Meg Walker as she reads a letter she wrote entitled, 3 Truths When You Don't Feel Like a Mom This Mother's Day. In this bonus episode Meg says these words:

"We can't make promises on whether or not every person you've ever met will remember your child's name or the special anniversaries that are etched into your memory - even your own spouse might forget from time to time. What we can promise is this: you will never forget your baby. But you aren't the only one. On this Mother's Day, take heart in that even if no one else remembers your baby, God remembers with you - and he sees you. He collects your tears in a bottle. And your baby is not forgotten." She goes on to offer so much hope as she directly speaks to the woman who doesn't feel like a mom this Mother's Day. We pray this special bonus episode brings you hope as you are reminded that you are loved and not alone.

As a gift to you, we created a Mothers Day Resource Bundle & Workbook for you filled with helpful resources that will give you a practical, simple and tangible way to prepare your heart for a day that may feel very difficult to navigate. To download that workbook head to themorning.com/mothersday.

And now for our bonus episode, 3 Truths When You Don't Feel Like a Mom This Mother's Day, written and read by Meg Walker

Mother's Day Resource Bundle & Workbook for a Bereaved Mother www.themorning.com/mothersday

Celebrating Motherhood (a free event) Click here to Register

Listen in as I share my answers to your questions all about milestones. While I may not be an expert, I have experienced over a decade of milestones after the loss of my son and I've spent the last 5 years learning from other grieving moms about the unique ways they honor their babies – I've learned so much and I'm grateful to be able to share it with you today. The questions I'm answering were submitted from our Joyful Mourning Community Members or our friends over on instagram – we have some great questions and I'll do my best to get through as many as possible. If you have a question about milestones or, advice that might benefit a grieving mom, come join our free online community where you can share those questions and encouragements with other moms – you can find all the details about how to join that free community at themorning.com/community.

Also we created a Milestones Workbook that you can download for free that will be practically helpful at navigating your milestones. The workbook includes a list of ideas for celebrating or honoring your baby, letter prompts for journaling on those special or difficult days, and so much more. And since we all have different days that feel special or important or difficult to navigate, this workbook can be used over and over again for any milestone that is important to you. To download that workbook, head to themorning.com/milestones.

QUESTIONS IN NO. 158

1. What are some ways to honor or celebrate my baby's birthday in Heaven? I don't know how to celebrate without them.
2. How do you acknowledge your baby on due dates, anniversary of their death, or other important days?
3. I struggle with feeling nervous that people will think it's "over the top" or "extra" – how do I get past that? Or am I being over the top if I want to celebrate my baby?
4. Sometimes I feel the need to have everything perfectly planned out but nothing feels right or enough. Other times I don't think I'll have the energy but then I feel guilty that I'm not honoring my child. And then I want to forget it all together because of the pain. How do I find the right way to mark the day?
5. How do I find space to process the grief?
6. How do I know which ones will hit harder as I anticipate certain dates? Some feel like no big deal, but I never know ahead of time. And some milestones feel really hard and I don't have the emotional capacity to do anything.
7. The build up to my baby's birth and death anniversary feel harder sometimes than the actual day for some reason. But how do I cope with all of the memories and trauma that come flooding back that are hard to deal with?
8. My husband and I want to celebrate very differently. One of us wants to go all out and the other wants to do nothing to mark the date. What do I do about that?
9. How do you know when to keep it small or when to invite others in?
10. It feels like those days are not as important to our family & friends as they are to us. Will others be sensitive to the date? I feel like they've moved on.
11. There are so many, especially little ones in the immediate aftermath of loss. The first grocery trip, church service, shower, cleaning the house, everything feels like a marker confirming loss, making it sink in again. I remember even when others don't. I'm having a rough day and then I realize in the late afternoon that today is when a milestone would've happened with our baby. How do I get through them?
12. Do you keep doing it every year? How do we know what to keep doing or not? It's hard to figure out what to do, especially years after loss. I still want to honor my little ones and I'm afraid that they're going to be forgotten.

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode157

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

Listen in as I talk with Meagan Gonzalez about her son Levi, who was born still at 27 weeks. Meagan shares with me about her journey navigating milestones after losing her son, the challenges that she experienced in facing days like his due date which also happens to be her birthday, how she practically spends the bigger milestone days like his birthday and what it looks like in her life to honor him in the everyday. This conversation is honest and hopeful and will remind you that honoring your baby's life doesn't have to be an elaborate event, it can be simple and private and still be wonderfully intentional and meaningful.

If you are looking for practical help navigating milestones, I have two things that will help:

1. The Joyful Mourning Community – come join our free online community and find hundreds of other women who understand this journey because they are on it too. And they have the best, most creative ideas for celebrating and for honoring their babies. Come join us and find a space where you can ask questions and get practical answers to your questions from women who know and understand. To join this free community head to themorning.com/community
2. We created a Milestones Workbook that you can download for free. The workbook includes a list of ideas for celebrating or honoring your baby, letter prompts for journaling on those special or difficult days, and so much more. And since we all have different days that feel special or important or difficult to navigate, this workbook can be used over and over again for any milestone that is important to you. To download that workbook, head to themorning.com/milestones

THIS EPISODE IS DEDICATED TO KOHEN ALLEN FRANTZ

Today's podcast is sponsored by the Frantz family in memory of their grandson Kohen Allen Frantz.

In loving memory of our Kohen Allen Frantz, Kohen was stillborn on April 6, 2021. His life verse is 1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. We love you, Kohen. We look forward to the day we are reunited in heaven. Love, Poppa and Grammy

A special thank you to the Frantz family for sponsoring this episode. We celebrate Kohen and we remember him with you.

QUESTIONS WE DISCUSS IN NO.157

1. Tell me how you navigated Levi's due date, also your birthday? How do you treat that day now?
2. Would you share with us some of the ways that you honor Levi?
3. To the mom that doesn't know where to start in regards to celebrating and honoring her baby, what would you say to her?
4. What surprised you on this journey specifically in regards to navigating milestones and important days?
5. What has been the biggest challenge you faced in celebrating or honoring Levi or just navigating milestones in general?
6. What has it looked like for you to involve your living children in celebrating and honoring Levi?
7. What advice would you give a grieving mom about what to expect in regards to due dates or birthdays or other important dates?

FREE ONLINE COMMUNITYYou are not alone. Find help and hope in navigating your new normal in our free online community. Come join us and meet hundreds of women who can provide the unique support that a grieving mom needs. I can't wait to see you there. www.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode157

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

Today Chelsea Spoelker joins me to share the story of her daughter Stella and how this short, but incredibly powerful life changed hers forever. Stella was born with Trisomy 18, a life-limiting diagnosis and lived for 39 days. Chelsea shares with me how, through Stella's life, she learned to celebrate each day like it was her last. She began that journey of celebrating and honoring her life while she was pregnant and each day, each milestone after she was born. Since Stella's death Chelsea has learned what it looks like practically to parent and celebrate and honor a child that has died and today she is sharing all of that with you.

Navigating milestones, celebrating birthdays, knowing how to honor the anniversary of your baby's death, or knowing how to honor your baby on holidays or even in the everyday is incredibly challenging; those dates often feel impossible, but this conversation will help, reminding you that you aren't alone in this and giving you practical ideas for what navigating milestones could look like.

While this conversation specifically centered navigating milestones and celebrating and honoring our babies, Chelsea also shared what it was like to make the decision to carry Stella to term when her medical team was advising to end the pregnancy, the very drastic steps she and her husband took to seek out medical care where they felt supported, how she and her husband navigate milestones differently and something that all loss moms can identify with – regret. Chelsea opens up about all of that and more.

And toward the end of the episode Chelsea gave a simple but powerful encouragement when she said: "figure out what works for you, what feels right for you and honor that, do that." I loved the encouragement to do milestones in any way that feels right for you.

If you are looking for practical help navigating milestones, I have two things that will help:

1. The Joyful Mourning Community – come join our free online community and find hundreds of other women who understand this journey because they are on it too. And they have the best, most creative ideas for celebrating and for honoring their babies. I wish I would have had this community when I was celebrating my son's first birthday or navigating the first anniversary of his death or simply on the days when I wanted to honor him and just didn't know how or feel the freedom to do so. Come join us and find a space where you can ask questions and get practical answers to your questions from women who know and understand. To join this free community head to themorning.com/community
2. We created a Milestones Workbook that you can download for free. The workbook includes a list of ideas for celebrating or honoring your baby, letter prompts for journaling on those special or difficult days, and so much more. And since we all have different days that feel special or important or difficult to navigate, this workbook can be used over and over again for any milestone that is important to you. To download that workbook, head to themorning.com/milestones

Lastly, this episode is dedicated to all of our trisomy babies and to the mamas that love them. In honor of Trisomy Awareness month we celebrate your babies, we remember them, we remember you.

QUESTIONS WE DISCUSS IN NO.156

1. To the mom that doesn't know where to start in regards to celebrating and honoring her baby, what would you say to her?
2. What would you say to a mom who has ideas in mind about ways she would like to celebrate her baby but she is worried what others will think of her?
3. What would you say to the woman listening who does not want to celebrate these big milestones and anniversaries?
4. What do you think is the biggest challenge a mom faces in celebrating or honoring her baby or just navigating important dates and milestones that may not be as obvious as a birthday or anniversary of their death?
5. Would you share with us ideas for ways to honor and celebrate our babies on milestone dates and birthdays, due dates or anniversaries?
6. What advice would you give to a mom with living children about how to involve them in honoring or celebrating their baby's birthday?
7. Do you and your husband want to celebrate these days the same? Differently? How do you work through that when you're on different pages as parents?
8. How do you care for yourself leading up to these dates or in these seasons?
9. Are there any special rituals you do to celebrate in your own heart?
10. How do you know whether to include others or not in your important dates?

FREE ONLINE COMMUNITYYou are not alone. Find help and hope in navigating your new normal in our free online community. Come join us and meet hundreds of women who can provide the unique support that a grieving mom needs. I can't wait to see you there. www.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode156

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

This episode originally aired almost 2 years ago but it is such a fantastic resource that we wanted to put it in front of you again. If you have experienced the loss of a baby or know and love someone who has experienced the loss of a baby this episode is an absolute must-listen. Libby Marler is my guest in this interview; she is a trained counselor who specializes in women's issues including maternal mental health, parenting, grief and loss, as well as anxiety issues. Libby became passionate about providing counseling and support for women after she navigated the death of her own daughter due to a life-limiting diagnosis.

In this episode Libby shares with us a general overview of what someone who has experienced the loss of a baby can expect in regards to grief. For many of us, the loss of our baby was the first time we have experienced a significant loss close to us, we are unfamiliar with the grieving process and we are trying to discern what's normal, what isn't, what is expected of us, when should we seek outside help – basically all the things and in this episode Libby breaks it all down for us. She shares invaluable expertise regarding baby loss and grief, including helpful steps to take to process through your grief in a way that is not burdensome or weighty but instead, very freeing.

If you have ever wondered if what you are feeling and thinking amidst grief is normal or if you have ever asked yourself 'am I showing enough emotion? Am I showing too much emotion?' or 'shouldn't I be farther along by now?" This episode is for you. Libby offers wisdom that I am sure will bring you hope in your grief today.

FREE GRIEF WORKBOOKWe created a helpful workbook called Understanding Grief to go along this episode that breaks down much of what is discussed in this episode. This guide includes:

• an explanation of bereavement trauma
• aspects of trauma in regards to baby loss
• normal feelings of grief
• normal physical responses to grief
• ways to process your loss
• mourning tasks
• when to seek professional help
• journal prompts

Download that free workbook: www.themorning.com/griefguide

FREE ONLINE COMMUNITYYou are not alone. Find help and hope in navigating your new normal in our free online community. Come join us and meet hundreds of women who can provide the unique support that a grieving mom needs. I can't wait to see you there. www.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode155

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.