The Katie Kelly Show

Grab a drink and join the couch for my most cancel-worthy episode yet. What starts as a simple, innocent update about online shopping for capri pants quickly spirals into a deep dive of past life regressions, gay Parisian romance, and the unexpected allure of Drew Carey.

In this episode, we tackle the hard-hitting questions: Are we artistic or just autistic? 

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This week, I talk about the absolute chaos of taking my kids to the USA Nationals to see the fastest man alive, Noah Lyles. It’s a story about financial regrets, accidental crimes, and the rare 2% cosmic coincidence that made all this happen.  If you’ve ever snuck into a VIP section or a continental breakfast, or been pinned by an elevator door, this episode will resonate with you.

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Is it really shoplifting if the entire town is doing it? 

This week, I am back with local icon Keith Blum and we are diving deep into our dark, criminal pasts right here in West Hartford, CT, and exposing the hilariously toxic dynamics of the famous "Neighbors and Friends in West Hartford" Facebook group. 

From orchestrating a diabolical, middle school lunch-stealing ring to a massive $3,500 Sports Authority heist, we're holding nothing back. Plus, we break down the infamous Edwards supermarket "Yogurt Pretzel Arrest" that shook our high school to its core—was it a fair bust, or just zero-tolerance gone completely mad?

But the chaos doesn’t stop in the past. We’re tackling current local town drama:
* The 2 AM Street Fight: Why breaking up a drunken sidewalk brawl outside the window might have been a huge mistake.
* Cult of the Bike Lanes: Our official plan to go undercover, infiltrate "Bike West Hartford," and put an end to the Vision Zero street mappings.
* Neighborhood Warfare: Someone from "Neighbors and Friends in West Hartford" FB group has been dropping dog sh*t in Keith Blum's driveway.

Stick around until the very end for a massive teaser on next week's episode involving missing child support, a showdown with a local DCF-calling teacher, and a wild jury duty connection you won't believe. 

Like, subscribe, and lock your doors!

00:25 We Stole Someone's Lunch Every Day
03:40 My Mom Stole a Cat
04:40 The Yogurt-Covered Pretzel Crime Wave at Edward's Supermarket
07:25 Keith’s Sports Authority Felony
09:25 The Avon Mountain Turtle Disaster
11:25 "Neighbors and Friends in West Hartford" Facebook group drama
14:35 The Girl Fight Outside My House
16:25 Vision 35 and the War Against Bike Lanes
18:00 We Identify the Enemy: Bike West Hartford
20:45 Three Completely Insane Stories for Next Time

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My nephew Sean joins me and we immediately discover that adulthood is mostly a collection of companies quietly stealing your money. Sean is trapped in a yearlong Big Sky Fitness contract, I learn that Care.com has taken nearly $2,000 from me, and I am forced to confront the possibility that I am the exact woman Rocket Money ads were created for.

Then we get to important Kelly family history. My dad uses the grill as an incinerator, chugs nonalcoholic beer, and eats blocks of cheese like an apple. We also cover a $350 bee pin, the worst strip club name ever conceived, bad tattoo ideas, and the greatest collection of Rainforest Cafe chimp plates in America. 

We laugh the entire episode. This was a good chat :)

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This week, I talk about my discovery that many of the internet’s “single moms” regularly send their children to their dads for the weekend. Which means they are not really single moms, and that enrages me.

Next, Hazel begins kindergarten by telling everyone to shut the f*ck up. Then ChatGPT tricks me into believing that starting a podcast is a simple matter which leads me into a world of recording software and technology far beyond my capabilities.

We've got never used photos and footage from when The Katie Kelly Show was just getting started, and videos of my kids that only I will enjoy.

It's technology, motherhood, and public humiliation. 

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This week, I’ve got stories about technology, motherhood, and public humiliation. First, Hazel begins kindergarten by telling everyone to shut the f*ck up. Then ChatGPT tricks me into believing that starting a podcast is a simple matter requiring only three steps, which leads me into a world of recording software and technology far beyond my capabilities.

Finally, I talk about my discovery that many of the internet’s “single moms” regularly send their children to their dads for the weekend. Which means they are not really single moms and, as my daughter would say, need to shut the f*ck up.

This episode is a little trip through the archives: old audio I never used, photos and videos from when The Katie Kelly Show was just getting started, and intimate, everyday moments that make up the sh*t show that is my life.

⏱️ CHAPTERS:

00:00:00 — My Daughter’s Kindergarten Swearing 

00:10:07 — Why ChatGPT Oversimplifies Life and Can’t Tell Jokes

00:20:41 — The Truth About Single Motherhood 

00:28:21 — A Candid Chat with My Kids About Yelling at Them
 

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This week, I’m joined by my longtime friend, and West Hartford legend, Keith Blum, who finally tells the full story of Whaine: the mannequin who became the center of the most elaborate prank war of 1999.

Before we get there, Keith and I devise a completely ethical plan to blackmail my brother Jonny into letting his son Calvin work on the podcast. Keith coaches Calvin in lacrosse, which means we may or may not have threatened his varsity position, captain status, and future athletic career. Sorry, Jonny. You left us no choice.

Keith also reveals how he secretly framed me and my friends for Whaine’s kidnapping, helped the victims investigate the crime he committed, and watched from the inside as the whole thing spiraled into home invasions, mattress theft, ransom clues, vandalism, and chaos.

Then I tell the story of going to see Joker with my friend Mike Genovesi (Vesi), and how my ex hacked into my Facebook account, impersonated me, and convinced Mike that I was threatening him.

We also get into hypnotists, high school memories, celebrity lookalikes, and the deeply disturbing realization that none of us have matured since 1999.

Ladies and gentlemen....this is KEITH.

CHAPTERS

Keith's Podcast Artwork: 0:00 - 4:14

Blackmailing My Brother: 4:15 - 10:07

The Story of Whaine: 10:08 - 29:35

Doppelgangers: 29:40 - 33:50

"Hank" Threatens Vesi: 33:51 - End

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 Heeeere's Billy!  

This week, I sit down with my oldest brother Billy for a chaotic sibling reunion involving family secrets, obsessive Notre Dame football fandom, deleted vacation photos, questionable movie opinions, and one spectacularl Army credit-card sex scandal.

We debate whether Top Gun: Maverick is emotionally devastating or complete trash, revisit the legendary Chicago trip where I accidentally erased every photo we took, and unpack the time Billy watched a Notre Dame game during our sister’s wedding photos.

Billy also reveals why his daughter is named after a Chicago bar, the dumbest fitness product he ever bought, and the story of an Army soldier who charged more than $3,000 in phone-sex calls to the government.

Plus: excessive Kelly-family sweating, Clue, The Cutting Edge, A League of Their Own, Sean Penn looking exactly like our father, and the terrifying childhood television death that left me permanently afraid of being abandoned in the desert.

It’s movies, family dysfunction, military stories, sibling stuff, nostalgia, and an alarming number of tangents.

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Oh boy, it's my first solo video episode! Buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride. 

First up, I talk about how fat I have gotten lately and my snacking injury. Also, my insane eyebrows that were a result of some poor mircroblading. 

Then onto the main event: One of my daughter's teachers called Child Protective Services on me and I tell the story of the interview I had to do at my house. 

Then some News in Brief: Elon Musk is not a Scientist and the time I took a racist (but funny) diversity quiz. 

Last, I round things out with Old News: The P. Diddy documentary. I hate P. Diddy. Always have. Always will. 

Enjoy! 

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In this episode, I sit down with my nephew, Sean, who among other things, recently graduated from UCONN (Go Huskies!). We talk about tarot card readers, comedic dog tragedies, gross EMT stories, Broadway, the 9/11 Museum, and multiple tales of people falling down. 

Sean is the absolute man, and this episode is hysterical. 

⏱️ CHAPTERS:
00:00 Revisiting the Tarot: A Second Attempt at Fortune Telling
03:16 Street Fair Psychic Readings + Getting My Spot Blown Up
07:00 Nana’s Dog Nestle Gets Roasted on TikTok
10:30 Garage Doors, Rogue Dogs + Unforgettable Canine Tragedies
16:05 Church Accidents, Comical Anger + Gruesome EMT Tales
23:42 Broadway Drama, Stanley Tucci + a 9/11 Museum Reunion
31:43 Technical Difficulties + Discovering Office Space
33:31 Piano Recital Falls, Slippery Floors + Stage Disasters
42:22 Wrapping Up the Episode + Tarot Predictions

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