The Kind Leadership Podcast

(Part 1 of a 3 part series)

We've all been there. A slip up. A trip up. A mix up. A forgotten name or poorly placed splash of water. Imagine your most recent embarrassment. Now that you're deep in that moment, how did you get out? A quick joke, maybe? Ignore it and press on?

Embarrassment is bound to happen. There are techniques to gracefully make your way through.

Why did I wait until hours before publication to write this summary? Because I, like you and everyone around us, procrastinates.

To be clear, I wasn't being lazy; I was avoid responsibility by placing other responsibilities in front of those with deadlines. I did not need to clean my house, clean the car, organize my sock drawer, or wash and fold the spare bed sheets... but I did.

And for what? I did hours of work to put off the minutes it takes to write this summary! I knew this had to be done. I felt it hanging around my neck like an albatross.

Procrastination creates undue stress that some of us believe improves our work. It probably doesn't. Just think how much better this summary would be if I had written it with plenty of time to edit and revise.

With the third installment of our series on "Anger," we discuss how to effectively manage your anger.

From mild frustration to complete meltdowns, anger is normal and consequences will follow. Managing your emotions means you can take actions before you lose control to increase your stamina. We also talk through techniques for regaining composure. It should be no big surprise that these are age-old practices (maybe as old as anger itself). Odds are, some caveman was suggesting to his fellow caveman that a time-out might be a good idea.

In the first part of this series, we talked through triggers and the coded messages behind angry outbursts. We also explained that anger, as an emotion, is normal. What is also normal is the consequence to losing your temper.

Uncontrolled, angry outbursts and behaviors have a laundry list of consequences. We probably know how anger can negatively impact relationships, but anger strengthens anxiety which, in turn, strengthens anger (and on and on). Our immune system will be weaker. Our lungs will suffer. In short, angry people can expect to die sooner. There's something else to be angry about.

Oh yeah... and Happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating.

Why do we get so angry all the time? Well, because anger is one of the oldest (and most complex) emotions. Anger is also a shield or a mask that hides our true feelings. We'll go to great ends to cover up fear or past trauma. We'll make a big show of our anger or we'll ice someone in a passive aggressive response.

The good news is that anger is normal. Since we all feel it, we shouldn't shame ourselves for it. The key is understanding our triggers and measuring our response.

Because this topic is complex, we've broken this conversation into three parts, but I need a time out before I can tell you about the next part and you should take that time to think about what you've done because you've really upset me and that's why I threw that glass and I won't lower my voice because I don't want to talk you. Whew...

When you're thinking about how to be a better leader, I bet "sleep" is not the first thing you think of. And, to be clear, we're not suggesting that you sleep on your decisions (though that may be a good idea sometimes). Today, we're talking about sleep as a critical piece of the wellness jigsaw puzzle. The better care you take of your mental, physical, and emotional wellness, the better care you can take of your people.

But for now, splash some cold water on your face and finish your coffee.

Why do we insist on "Good Vibes Only?" Sure, if everyday is a good day then it seems like we'd all be so much happier, but that's just not the way the real world works. Unfortunately, every day is both good, bad, and everything in between.

When we can live our authentic selves, then we can empathize with others in a meaningful way. Rather than insisting that "everything happens for a reason," we can ask better questions about the other person and listen to their state of mind. Suffering is human and we all feel let down sometimes. Exploring that feeling helps us value the good times.

Maybe what we really need is "Vibes Only."

What if you never lied?

Oh, I know... You're thinking, "But I *don't* lie!" But that's a LIE! Maybe you haven't stolen something or committed perjury, but have you participated in the complex web of lies that is SANTA CLAUS?! How about the Tooth Fairy? What about any story you stretched just a bit to make it sound more interesting. I mean come on... you mean to tell me that everytime someone has asked "How are you?" you've always been good?

White lies are lies and lies are bad. Or, are they? Maybe some lies protect people, maintain relationships, and avoid that long, uncomfortable conversation with the grocery clerk about how you really are. Sometimes, you should lie but you have to be cautious because, lying at the wrong time has damaging effects.

We've spent the past year answering this question, piece by piece. We've discussed key behavior traits and met with people we believe embody the KL spirit. For our one year anniversary episode (I know, right?!), we found a topic that connects with the core belief of Kind Leadership-"Tough Compassion."

How can we have a backbone and stick up for ourselves while allowing those with powerful, contradictory beliefs the space to express themselves? If you truly want diversity, you had better be able to answer that question. If you want new opinions, you need to be flexible (at the right time). You also need to know when to end the debate and move forward.

Lastly, thank you for giving us this past year to explore. We hope you've learned someith (we sure have). In this episode, we also discuss our favorite episodes and "ah-ha" moments. Feel free to comment on our LinkedIn post with your thoughts.

We've all been dealing with so many changes in the remote workforce. Limited in-person engagements and stuffy video calls prevent leaders from monitoring the body language, facial expression, posture, and mood of our people. When we're on camera, we're TV ready (except for the occasional dog barking or surprise entrance of family member).

So, how do we know when our people need more than professional coaching. How do we know when our people need support for their mental health?

Luckily, the stigma is diminishing, but it's not gone. As leaders, we have to take action, ask questions, and observe (which usually means listen). In this episode, we dig into other key actions to check in with our people and ourselves.