On today’s show, I discuss why most people don’t choose what’s healthiest or deepest, but what fits. We look at how familiarity, stability, and efficiency shape our decisions in relationships and kink, and the quiet cost of building a life around what doesn’t disrupt us.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Choice #Fit #Relationships

On today’s show, I discuss why we return to familiar relationship and power exchange dynamics even when we know the cost. We look at the difference between insight and wiring, how intensity can be mistaken for connection, and why calm can feel wrong if your nervous system was trained on unpredictability. I break down the stories we tell ourselves to justify going back, what actually interrupts a pattern, and why the discomfort that follows change does not mean you chose wrong.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Patterns #Attachment

On today’s show, I discuss what being single reveals in the lifestyle, and why it’s often less about preference than about capacity. This episode continues the journal entry Strong Enough to Stay Single and looks at how structure, intensity, and roles can quietly become substitutes for regulation. I explore what actually breaks connection when curiosity and listening fall away. No advice, no villains, just recognition.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Single #Lifestyle

On today’s show, I discuss where kink ends and public responsibility begins. This isn’t about shaming desire or policing bodies, it’s about consent, context, and containment. We look at why private dynamics don’t automatically translate to public spaces, why intent isn’t enough, and how public settings change the ethics. I also explore the psychology behind being seen and why restraint isn’t repression. A grounded conversation about protecting consent, credibility, and the community as a whole.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

Contact me at [email protected]

#Psychology #Public #Kink #Ethics

On today’s show, I discuss monogamy in the lifestyle and why it continues to provoke strong reactions in kink spaces. Rather than arguing for or against any structure, this episode slows things down and looks at how monogamy, exclusivity, and fidelity actually function in real dynamics. We explore why monogamy is often misunderstood, when it holds, when it doesn’t, and how people can make relational choices that fit their attachment, desire, and capacity for honesty over time.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Monogamy #Relationships #Styles

On today’s show, I discuss what happens when sex is taken off the table, but closeness isn’t. I look at how sex often gives scenes their shape, makes vulnerability feel easier to tolerate, and offers a clear sense of direction and ending. We talk about what comes up when that structure is gone, how intimacy gets confused with intensity, and why non-sexual closeness can feel more confronting than people expect. This isn’t about better scenes or doing kink the right way. It’s an honest look at presence, exposure, and what’s revealed when there’s nothing to perform, escalate, or finish with.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Intimacy #Lifestyle

Season 5 is live! On today’s show, I talk about what happens when being needed turns into identity, and how usefulness quietly replaces self in relationships, power dynamics, and long-term connection. This episode sits with why being required can feel safer than being chosen, how that pattern forms, and what it costs over time. No fixes. No steps. Just naming something a lot of people live with but rarely say out loud.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Chosen #Needed

This episode is a year-end reflection. I talk about what stood out to me across this season, where my thinking shifted, and what kept showing up no matter the topic. I also respond to a few listener questions from different parts of the world before closing out the year and heading into Season 5.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

On today’s show, I discuss why structure and clarity in kink can feel safe without actually creating emotional security. We look at how well-run dynamics can quietly avoid closeness, how avoidant and fearful patterns use roles and rules as protection, and what emotional safety in D/s really requires beyond consent, negotiation, and smooth functioning.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

On today’s show, I discuss the tension between wanting connection and needing control. We look at learned defiance, how it forms, why it feels safer than hope, and the subtle ways it shapes intimacy, attachment, and power exchange inside the lifestyle.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Defiance #Behavior