iPhone privacy is not a thing, Nature Made had made gummy vitamins even less attractive, Walmart was caught overcharging, I finally got a lawnmower and it turns out, mathematically retirement may be impossible!

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Morgan Wallen had a rough weekend, Pat Sajak has hosted his final show, Crocs and Kellogg's have teamed up for clown shoes, Borat is single and man, how about that eclipse?!

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Back after vacation! If you know one thing about this show it's that we NEVER miss an eclipse!

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Just a quick programming note: We're off until April 8. Your regularly scheduled Index will be back rested, relaxed and in full mediocrity! 

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The stock market is up, Diddy is having a pretty bad time these days (lol), Crown Royal Blackberry is a thing and man oh man if I hit the Powerball this is your last index ever!

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Kevin Bacon is doing something cool for 40 years of "Footloose," we love our snacks and we're loyal as Hell to them, church is down, the Mega Millions tonight is up. Way, way up. 

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Stephen A is out there talking wild about baked potatoes, we have child bank robbers in Texas, Oreo has a new flavor, we find our first grays around the same time and we are no loner very happy as a country. 

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Journey has had a huge week, most dudes know we stink, Baja Blast celebrates an anniversary and man oh man, what a bad week for a guy named Othani!

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Back after a brief mid-week break! Bad news for dudes over 25, Trader Joe's bags are apparently a hot item, Chipotle is giving the people what they want and it's tourney time baby!!

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We have a new (gross) beer headed our way, we have a new fattest city, Easter is getting pricey, a drunk in England does the breathalyzer the wrong way and it's National Sloppy Joe Day!!

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