Stop rescuing your kids every time that they get in a pickle. Because when you do, you are not giving them the tools to make it as confidently as they would and as quick as they would if they started now. That’s our job.

We are entrusted with our children. There are certain age-appropriate boundaries that we must show them so they can act properly in the real world. They’re either going to learn it now or they’re going to learn it later, and unfortunately later comes with a lot more deeper and life-changing consequences.

Us implementing boundaries with our kids is not a fool-proof, fail-safe way of protecting them when they’re older because they are their own person, and they’re going to make their own decisions. But it is our job as parents to shepherd our kids well. And one way we can do that is by making sure they have proper boundaries.

Right now my kids probably don’t think boundaries is a gift, but I know it’s a gift that I’m giving to my children. And one day they will thank me!

Do you have a close friend who seems to look for ways to compete with you or ‘one up’ you?

Here’s how you can disarm her.

When you choose, and it will be a choice (because competition is innate in us as humans) to not compare or compete and to purposefully cheer her and her little one on, no matter what, I believe her energy will change.

Good friends are worth fighting for. If you’re scared of vulnerability, I promise you they are, too.

Boundaries has become a bit of a buzzword, and these days I think a lot of people are using the term ‘boundaries’ to put walls up, do what they want to do, and treat people the way they want to treat them — but that’s not what boundaries are.

I don’t want people to be turned off by the word boundaries, because no matter how people are using the term, when you learn healthy boundaries and you use them in a healthy way, they are a good thing. And that’s where we want to get to.

Boundaries are not only good for you, they’re good for the other person. And I think that’s what people need to understand. When you utilize and exercise healthy boundaries, you are loving the other person well.

If you learn anything about boundaries, I hope it’s that the responsibility for change lies with us. If we are waiting for others to take ownership before we do just because we think they are the bigger cause of our frustration, we will be waiting a long time.

Whether it is an ongoing feud with your controlling mom that never quite resolves, or the constant friction with your brother because you both are just so different and haven’t tried to understand one another, or the sudden shake up in a friendship because you are not seeing eye to eye on parenting, any and all of these will require ownership on your part. Because whether we want to admit it or not, we are never fully exempt from throwing words, energy, or negative weight around the situation.

In these instances and other instances like it, once I was able to understand and then use phrases like; “I get it,” “I understand we may not see this the same way,” “I don’t agree with you but I do love you,” etc. and mean it, people’s energy changed around me. They no longer felt threatened or hostile because they didn’t feel hostility coming from me. And hostility can only grow when it has someone challenging it.

Where are all my nice girls? Are you the one that everyone always says, ‘she is so nice, she will do anything for you, she is just the nicest person that I know.’

Now before I go on, let me tell you that it’s not bad to be nice. It’s not bad at all. But I want to tell you there’s a big difference in being kind because you want to and being nice because you feel like you have to.

If you’re saying yes to someone because you feel like you need to do it but you don’t want to do it, if you’re showing up for that person yet again who never shows up for you, if you’re that person who never expresses what they want or what they feel because you want to be nice, that’s a problem, guys.

Are you afraid to commit… to a future thriving marriage? Do the inner work to figure out what is holding you back. 

It starts with taking ownership over what you really want your love to look like, know it’s possible, and know you do deserve it.

Do some inner digging!

Anger is an emotion that comes from somewhere, just like all other feelings and emotions. But when we have grown up in unhealthy ways and have unhealthy patterns, sometimes our feelings and emotions are not necessarily directed at the right person, or the right thing at the right time, or for the right purpose.

This is where that patience and time comes in. Really dissecting and getting to the bottom of why you are feeling the way you are feeling, how you can handle it with the actual person or situation that is the root cause of the anger or hurt or whatever else you are feeling, is where we ultimately want to get to. 

Here’s why it might be time to tighten up your circle. Are you repeatedly getting your feelings hurt when you’re with your friends? Do you leave feeling really bad about yourself? Do you worry what your friends say when you leave the room?

Here’s the good thing and the hard thing. It could be time to let them go.

Sometimes we must let people go for them to grow and for us to grow. And know they may need to let US go.

If you’re receiving guilt messages, they’re never about you. They’re always about the person sending them. If you’re sending out guilt messages to manipulate, they’re not about the other person, they’re about you and what you want.

For the people that send out guilt messages, this is how they’ve navigated life this far. This is how they’ve stayed in control. This is how they’ve gotten what they want. And when you think about it, why would they change? Why would they change if this has worked for them? They’ve never had to experience adult consequences from the manipulation that comes with guilt messaging.

Practicing and utilizing healthy boundaries will stop those guilt messages from stealing your peace.

Let’s talk boundaries and dating.

Think every guy is the ONE? I used to. So many times I told my friends, “He is it!” Buuuuut no. He wasn’t.

Before learning boundaries and what was MY responsibility in a relationship, I put too much pressure on this person being everything I thought I needed.

That whole time pre-boundaries I was expecting someone to come to the rescue and MAKE me feel all of those things.

But there was one problem. No one has that power.