If your love language is receiving gifts, you feel especially loved by tangible expressions of affection. It assures you that the other person is not only thinking about you but cares enough to show it. If you’ve had a bad day, having a loved one send you a token of their love speaks volumes to your heart. Non-gift people might misunderstand and feel like they have to buy your love but gifts are expressions of love and devotion. It’s a visible sign that makes you feel happy and secure in the relationship. That someone cares enough to go to the effort especially if it reflects your interests and personality. It’s thoughtfulness that can literally be seen since it is a visual symbol. My friend shared that her brother planted a flower garden for his wife so that he could give her different flowers year round. How special is that!   Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected]   Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!

I once had a boyfriend that was really amazing at quality time. We would usually be able to spend the weekends together. We both worked pretty hard during the week but he would plan these really fantastic weekend adventures paired with an interesting new restaurant to try. I’m a big foodie so I always looked forward to our time together. We were only together for about 9 months but we never repeated an activity or meal. From the time I would see him at the beginning of the weekend until he had to leave on Sunday, his phone would be off. He would be laser focused and arrange his schedule so that he took care of all his errands during focused times which would leave our weekends free. Despite not having a ton of time together during the week, it really made up for it. Exceptional quality time is a gift of experience and presence.   Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected]   Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!

The opposite of quality time is distracted time. If you're spending the day with somebody whose primary love language is quality time, you could be in the same room but doing different activities and they would feel ignored. So when you say, “what do you mean, we spent the whole day together”, that person would not feel like they had your focused attention. A common but inconsiderate thing you might do to a quality time person is to constantly be on your phone, checking your emails, answering calls. One helpful tip if you know this is going to happen is to give them advance notice. “Hey, I’m really excited that we’re about to spend some time together. Just so you know in about half an hour, I’ll need to check my messages really quick. I’m waiting for this one important call, is that okay?" It gives your quality time person the feeling that it pains you to not give them your undivided attention.   Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected]   Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!

If your love language is quality time, you feel especially loved when a person gives you undivided attention. You feel closer to people who give you focused energy. It’s more than just being in the same room or having proximity to someone. Quality time involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. It requires the emotional presence of both parties. When someone arranges to do activities that you love together, your memory bank will fill up with wonderful stories to share. I once dated a man who nicknamed me Fabulosity. He made it his mission to take me to unique places I had never been to before. We had nothing in common but his devotion to making my time in unfamiliar places fabulous was incredibly endearing.   Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected]   Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!

If Words of Affirmation is not your love language, you are likely to be judgmental about it. You’ve probably thought: how annoying, that person is so insecure because they’re constantly fishing and need compliments. If you want to see this person beam, tell others and let those compliments get back to them. How else can you communicate words of affirmation? Offer encouragement by reinforcing a difficult decision: that must have been hard, you handled the pressure well. Call attention to progress made: that was a great speech, you’ve come a long way from sitting in the back of the class to now commanding the attention of an entire auditorium. Acknowledging a person’s unique perspective: your insight on how to frame financial conversations is refreshing.  Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of Reddit and husband of Serena Williams put up billboards for his wife when she returned to playing tennis after giving birth. They read ”Greatest Momma Of All Time, G.M.O.A.T.” All the words of affirmation folks in the audience just melted into a puddle.   Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected]   Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!

If the Words of Affirmation person in your life has had a bad day, find it in your heart to speak up. This is when a Words person needs your affirmation the most, otherwise they begin to suspect they do not have your love and support. It could be as simple as "I see that you are suffering and I’m here for you.” If you are upset with them, think before you speak. An unkind or demeaning phrase will undo 100 prior compliments. That’s how much pain is caused. Words that hurt and cripple, particularly character assassination and name calling are especially damaging. Instead of telling them "you said something unloving” you go for the jugular by saying “you are an unloving person." Instead of saying "the other day when that happened I didn’t feel very cared for” you punch below the belt with "you’re someone who doesn’t care about me.” And if you’re actually screaming curse words and yelling obscenities, grow up already.   Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected]   Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!

I would not be surprised if the whole concept of awards shows was invented by somebody whose primary love language was words of affirmation. It’s a love fest where everyone expresses verbal gratitude and recognition. If you’re a words of affirmation person, you feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for you on a regular basis. You love it when another person tells you specifically how they value and appreciate you. And not just for some grand achievement but sprinkled generously into everyday heartfelt and meaningful acknowledgments that make you feel seen and heard. Women tend to want praise for who they are. For example: you have such a caring heart, I love how empathetic you are, you bring so much joy into my life. Men tend to want praise for what they do. Examples of how they are providing well, leading well and protecting well make this words person feel especially adored.    Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected]   Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!

What’s your love language? I'm really excited. Over the next couple of weeks, I get to talk about one of the most valuable insights I ever got out of couples counseling. In his book, The Five Love Languages, author Gary Chapman identifies 5 different ways of giving and receiving love: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.  People express and receive love in different ways. While all of the love languages are nice to receive, there is a primary language that will make you feel especially loved. This type of awareness is wonderful because it gives you language to discuss what you need without making the other person bad or wrong. It also acknowledges that you can be working hard on a relationship but ineffective because the recipient of your affection does not realize you’ve expressed love at all. Stay tuned for tips on love languages.   https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/   Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected]   Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!

If you bleed, then I want to encourage you to save for the Red Tax. What is the Red Tax? It’s the roughly $10,000 starting price tag for freezing a woman’s eggs. When to start? If you are a woman, start saving $200/mo when you turn 30. It’s an insurance policy if you are still figuring out where kids might fit into the picture. If you are a man, you’ll likely end up dating and possibly partnering up with a woman in her 30s. Won’t it be nice to not have to rush into major life changes but still show your commitment by contributing to something that could make a huge difference in both of your lives? And if you decide against freezing, that money can go to other things. Towards a college fund or really nice push gift if you have kids naturally. Towards adoption, egg donors, or a surrogate if you choose that. If you go the no kid route, put the money towards a vacation, your business, in yourself as a reward for finally knowing.     Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected]   Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!

Every company needs universal bias training. It used to be a thing that if you walked by a construction site that you would actually get cat calls and men would yell things at you if you were a woman. They could be supposedly complimentary but they invited other man to look at and objectify a woman. Very uncomfortable. You know what, I live in LA and that doesn’t happen anymore because companies have sexual harassment training so they understand that makes a hostile environment for women and they could get sued. This creates some consciousness and raises the level of awareness. That is what universal bias training would help with, our unconscious biases that we all have, men and women alike. What to ask for? Start with gender bias. Remember 50%. If your company management ranks don’t reflect the workforce at large, something needs to change.    Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected]   Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!