The Literate ApeCast

After last week’s nerd-fight over Endgame, Don & David dive into movies so bad that they aren’t even fun-bad. The only true disagreement is David’s hatred for The Dark Knight Rises and Don’s love for it. Then they look at movies or books that are indicative of their lives right now and why David hasn’t written a screenplay yet.

And, due to your confirmed general anxiety syndrome and lack of curiosity in the world beyond your navel and the inside of an Eggo’s box, the boys provide six things to watch, read or listen to in order to prevent you from eating that pistol in your Archie lunchbox.

NERD ALERT! 

Don and David blow out the Endgame Spoilers right off the bat in discussing their deeply felt reactions to this cultural benchmark. Then, they bring in Literate Apester Brian Sweeney and get into the lack of Captain Marvel (in Endgame and in her own solo film) and then things get dicey and nerdy as the dialogue comes to David’s dislike of Professor Hulk, Brian’s dislike of the hastily crafted script, and Don’s unfettered love for the decision of Captain America to go back and live out an alternate life with Peggy Carter. Trust me, it gets mega-geeky and too fucking specific and demonstrates that nerds are just as insanely angry as activists.

Finally, we get to six things for you to do this week following processing the end of Phase…3?4?…whatever…of the MCU.

David and Don start with a Washington Post article (The Funeral As We Know It Is Becoming a Relic — Just in Time for a Death Boom) and get into a dialogue about death, funerals, Don’s notion of the Tyranny of the Least Tolerant, and the odd nature of social media and how it affects the realities of grief and memorial.

They also task you with six homework assignments of items designed to give your pathetic mouth-breathing life a spark of hope in the light of every Leftist candidate being a piece of shit according to someone.

The boys are joined by Vincent Truman and get into a bizarre, bit-filled circular conversation about the concept of what makes an artist: intent or cash? Is calling yourself a writer enough to pass the bar or do you have to actually be good enough to make a living? Vincent also explains why he thinks background acting isn’t really acting.

Plus six things to do to boost your social capital despite your post-breakup weight gain and claim of self-diagnosed PTSD.

Don may have a real problem. Youtube rabbit holes. In today’s episode the Gentlemen Chimps look into the tragedy of Instagram Influencer Jessy Taylor and the bizarre viral trend of compiling live videos of people losing their shit in public. David read something in The Atlantic about homework and it has him really pissed (but not enough to freakout in public while being video’d by some random dipshit).

In addition, with the knowledge that if you are listening to this podcast, you are a truly sad and lonely human primate in need of things to do, as always the guys present six things to do, watch, listen to or read.

D & D spend a little time discussing the twentieth anniversaries of both Fight Club and The Matrix, get in deep about Plato’s Cave, and parse out their complaints about the fact that people who complain are fundamentally as unhealthy as second hand smoke.

With six assignments (that include avoiding Tim Burton’s Dumbo at all costs) that guarantee your limited winning potential at a random bar trivia night if the topics include Orson Well’s unfinished final movie.

D & D spend a little time discussing the twentieth anniversaries of both Fight Club and The Matrix, get in deep about Plato’s Cave, and parse out their complaints about the fact that people who complain are fundamentally as unhealthy as second hand smoke.

With six assignments (that include avoiding Tim Burton’s Dumbo at all costs) that guarantee your limited winning potential at a random bar trivia night if the topics include Orson Well’s unfinished final movie.

This week, we deal with dilemmas that David has but can’t admit to his therapist: his random boners in the park now that Spring is approaching and how to most effectively prank Katie and still stay married on April 1st. Yup…it’s like eavesdropping on a middle-aged man in therapy if his therapist were a cranky burned out former rugby coach.

Plus, as usual, six assignments for you to complete this week to avoid reading about the next mass shooting, climate disaster, or Trumpenstein step in shit.

This week, we deal with dilemmas that David has but can’t admit to his therapist: his random boners in the park now that Spring is approaching and how to most effectively prank Katie and still stay married on April 1st. Yup…it’s like eavesdropping on a middle-aged man in therapy if his therapist were a cranky burned out former rugby coach.

Plus, as usual, six assignments for you to complete this week to avoid reading about the next mass shooting, climate disaster, or Trumpenstein step in shit.

The boys parse out the idea that children protesting is either merely political theater or a sign of a better future as well as the search for a proper pre-school for 12-month old Prince Harry sends David into a rage about little kid mucus.

Also, six assignments for you to accomplish in the week that guarantee you’ll be smarter and better than a six-year old kid protesting climate change while screaming about the lack of Oreos in his lunchbag.