December 04, 2014

The lost art of really listening. A Happy Hour Conversation with Sue Lachman

59 minutes

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I loved this conversation with Sue Lachman about listening - I was mind-blown about how much there was to talk about on this one subject! Listen to this and learn the transformative power of really listening... such an easy way to happy relationships!

Here are my best bits:

Prioritise listening fullyWe tend to think we can multi-task far better than we actually can! Put everything down so you can properly connect to the other person, listen fully and really feel what's behind their words.

Listening is about the other person's experienceIf someone's talking about something that's going on in their life and we notice we've taken ourself off into our own world of thinking about a similar event in our own life then we'll know that we've stopped listening to other person. Use that as a little nudge to bring yourself back to listening again.

We're all creating our own separate realityEven when we sharing an experience of the same event with others, each person will be creating their own experience of that event through their own thoughts. If we attach ourselves to own thoughts about the event we won't be so open to really hearing the other person's thoughts on it. Let go of the meaning you're giving to your version of events so you can hear theirs.

When we feel that the other person isn't treating us fairlyWhen we feel that we're not being heard in a relationship, we can become defensive and shut down from even wanting to listen to the other person. If we're feeling in a low mood and feeling very disconnected to the other person, it's probably NOT the best time to have a conversation. If we wait until we're feeling lighter and more connected, not only are we are more likely to be able to fully hear what's going on for them, we'll be calm and clear which means that others are going to be more able to open up and listen to us too.

Nothing stays the sameWithout us doing a thing, thoughts change and therefore feelings change and therefore relationships change. This one isn't about listening but I thought it was a gorgeous point anyway!

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