The Loving Leverage Podcast

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What happens when faith falls apart in ways sobriety alone cannot fix?

In this episode, a former pastor who found himself disqualified and starting over sits down with Anglican priest and author Father Chad Jarnigan for an honest conversation about losing and rediscovering faith.

This is not a polished, theological discussion. It is a grounded, real exploration of what it looks like when your relationship with God no longer works the way it used to.

Together, they unpack spiritual deconstruction and reconstruction in plain language, especially for those in recovery who feel ashamed, numb, or unsure what they believe anymore. They explore how shame-based religion can distort both your view of God and your view of yourself, and why honesty matters more than certainty when you are trying to rebuild.

The conversation also touches on the healing role of confession, the difference between a faith crisis and a necessary clearing, and why belonging often comes before believing when someone is starting over.

You will also hear practical ways to begin reconnecting, including contemplative practices like silence, breath, gratitude, and simply learning to notice again. Instead of pressure or performance, this episode points toward a slower, more grounded spirituality built on real experience.

For anyone who has ever asked, “Where was God in my suffering?”, this conversation holds that question with care and without easy answers.

If you feel spiritually lost, you are not alone. And you are not out of options.

Download the free guide:
 What Do I Turn To When I Feel Spiritually Lost?
www.valiantliving.com/episode62

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.

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Most people try to love addiction out of someone, and it quietly turns into enabling. We wanted a more honest approach, so we hosted a live roundtable called Loving Leverage with clinicians, family advocates, and people in recovery to talk about the question families live inside every day: when does support help, and when does it keep someone stuck?

We dig into what “loving leverage” actually looks like on the ground, from detox realities to long-term recovery. You’ll hear why repeated threats without follow-through backfire, how “relational influence” differs from control, and why the best boundaries are rooted in safety rather than punishment. We also talk about the practical teamwork piece: aligning spouses, parents, employers, and providers so the addicted person can’t split the system, and so treatment has a real chance to work.

For clinicians and helpers, we explore the uncomfortable tension of who the client really is when an addicted partner and a betrayed partner want different things. We discuss why outcomes improve when you treat the whole family system, how families can spot relapse risk and inauthenticity after discharge, and what to do when a professional rejects labels like sex addiction by focusing on trauma and attachment patterns. We close with a message for partners and families who feel stuck: fear can be a signal that it’s time to act.

Subscribe for more conversations like this, share the episode with someone supporting a loved one, and leave a review so more families can find the help they need.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.

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The most dangerous part of process addiction often isn’t what people can see, it’s what shame does in the dark. We sit down as a host, a betrayed partner, and a clinical forensic psychologist to map the real terrain of sex addiction recovery, betrayal trauma, and the moment families realize that weekly therapy and willpower aren’t enough. If inpatient rehab sounds “extreme,” we unpack why treatment can still be life or death when the risk is spiraling secrecy, escalating behavior, and suicidality driven by exposure and self-hatred.

We also get practical about the family system. Betrayal trauma can feel like losing your grip on reality because denial and minimization keep rewriting the story. From a clinical perspective, we talk about why partners doubt themselves, what “provisional trust” looks like when everything is on fire, and why specialized support like a CSAT can change the whole trajectory. Healing requires more than stopping behaviors; it requires rebuilding safety, restoring self-trust, and addressing the attachment injuries that addiction creates.

Then we go straight at the barrier we hear most: “I can’t leave my job.” We explore how work becomes identity, why control and negotiation are part of the addicted brain, and why the longer treatment is delayed the more relationships and reputations fracture. We end with a legacy question that cuts through the noise: when your life is over, what do you want your family to remember, your title or your presence?

If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with someone who’s stuck, and leave a review so more families can find real support. What’s the biggest fear that keeps people from getting treatment?

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.

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Most recovery podcasts keep a safe distance between interviewer and subject. This episode doesn't. Our host, Drew Powell, sits down with his own wife, Jamie, to talk about what his addiction and betrayal did to her life, her sanity, and their family. It's uncomfortable because it should be.

This isn't about redemption arcs or tidy endings. Jamie talks about the moment she stopped protecting him from consequences, stopped managing his recovery, and started asking: "What do I need?" They walk through the chaos of early disclosure, the terrifying decision to pursue therapeutic separation, and what it actually meant to "hold the line" when treatment felt like it might cost them everything.

Jamie names what codependency looked like in real time—living by the rule "if you're okay, I'm okay," losing access to her own feelings, and the slow work of reclaiming her voice while married to the person who shattered her trust. They discuss practical tools that mattered: S-Anon, daily emotional regulation practices, communication boundaries with kids, and why detachment isn't abandonment—it's refusing to be someone else's emotional manager.

If you're newly betrayed, feeling gaslit, or wondering if you'll ever feel normal again, Jamie offers language for what you're experiencing and permission to prioritize your own healing. If you're the betrayer trying to understand the damage, this is what it sounds like when your partner finally tells the truth.

Download the free resource: "Loving Leverage: A Wife's Guide to Boundaries, Clarity, and Hope" at valiantliving.com/episode59

Subscribe for unfiltered recovery conversations. Share this with someone who needs to hear they're not crazy. Leave a review so more people can find help that doesn't sanitize the hard parts.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.

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Your phone isn’t just a screen anymore, it can function like a casino that follows you everywhere. We bring back gambling addiction expert Chris Anderson for a timely, clear-eyed talk about microbetting, sports betting, and the new wave of problem gambling that’s exploding through constant ads, instant payouts, and real-time prop bets. Chris explains why the core addiction hasn’t changed, but the product has: faster play, smaller time gaps, more bets per minute, and easier ways to load money make the “gambling drug” more concentrated than ever.

We also get blunt about what makes gambling disorder uniquely dangerous. Chris shares why the thought “I can place the next bet and win” is both true and destructive, and how that belief keeps people from seeking treatment. We dig into mind betting, the invisible practice of wagering in your head while watching sports, and why it can quietly set up relapse by pulling you out of the present moment. The conversation includes hard realities, including why gambling carries the highest attempted suicide rate among addictions, and how shame and secrecy can convince someone they’re “worth more dead than alive.”

For families, we talk about the hidden addiction, why lying warps trust, and what practical steps matter when the truth finally surfaces. Chris flags a newer threat we’re seeing more often: blackmail and extortion connected to online bookies, and why legal help may be necessary. We close with hope, concrete resources like Gamblers Anonymous, and a simple question to interrupt the spiral: after that next bet, what’s next?

If this helped, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations. What part of modern sports betting feels most risky to you right now?

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.

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We share an unflinching look at pornography addiction as a counterfeit path to presence and how surrender, regulation, and community create real change. Tyler opens his story, breaks down brain science, and shows couples how to rebuild safety without linear timelines.

• the link between fear, dysregulation and porn use
• why willpower fails under fight or flight
• addiction as unmet needs seeking relief
• regulation skills for grounding and presence
• early exposure, secrecy and escalation risks
• marriage myths about sex solving compulsion
• how shame and betrayal create a painful loop
• safe, guided disclosure versus partial leaks
• accountability and surrender that build trust
• community groups that make honesty possible

Download our free guide: The Hidden Battle — A Practical Guide To Understanding Pornography Addiction And The Path To Healing at ValiantLiving.com/episode57

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.

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What if the person who “has it all together” is carrying a secret that’s slowly dismantling their life? We sat down with Dr. Stephanie to unpack sex addiction without euphemisms or moralizing—how it hides, why it’s misdiagnosed, and what real recovery looks like when shame no longer runs the show.

We trace the path from early trauma to skewed arousal templates, showing why a “high sex drive” is not the same as compulsion. Dr. Stephanie walks through clear, addiction‑style criteria you can actually use, plus the questions most therapists avoid but must ask—frequency, rituals, search terms, and technology habits that turn secrecy into a second life. We explore non‑monogamy through the lens of consent and rule‑keeping, why pop psychology flattens people into labels, and how partners experience profound betrayal trauma long before they get language for it.

On the treatment side, we dig into modalities that move clients from performance to presence: somatic experiencing, psychodrama, inner‑child and parts‑based work, alongside structured group processes that bring shame into the light. We talk openly about chemsex and meth’s dangerous fusion with sexual behavior, the grief of letting go of the “big high,” and the daily practices that make recovery durable—aftercare, check‑ins, and living in consultation. Sexual sobriety here means integrity and safety, not celibacy, and rebuilding intimacy starts with trust the partner can feel in their body, not promises on paper.

If you’re a clinician, partner, or someone who wonders whether what you’re facing is addiction or avoidance, this conversation offers criteria, tools, and hope. Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague or friend, and leave a review to help more people find the support they need.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.

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Your gut knows before the facts arrive. That’s where this story begins: a widow and mom who rebuilt her life, fell in love, and then felt the quiet signal that something was wrong. What followed wasn’t a straight line to healing. It was a maze of gaslighting, a painful trio of discoveries, and the realization that love alone can’t cure compulsive sexual behavior.

We walk through the exact moments that changed everything: the financial paper trail that made denial impossible, the decision to step out of detective mode, and the commitment to let professionals guide a structured disclosure. You’ll hear why separation and space were essential, how a CSAT therapist reframed betrayal trauma, and the practical boundaries that now keep the home safe: no cash, third‑party device accountability, and clear, immediate conversations. We talk trust as behavior over time, not vows; daily accountability instead of grand promises; and why your partner should not be your sobriety cop.

This isn’t a fairy tale or a lecture. It’s a real-time blueprint for partners and families facing sex addiction: how to protect your sanity, rebuild dignity, and decide your future without rushing the clock. We also explore the power of changing environments—retirement, a move across states, launching kids—and how new rhythms can lower triggers and raise connection. The result isn’t perfect. It’s honest, durable, and better than before.

If you’re navigating betrayal, wondering whether to stay, go, or pause, you’ll find validation, language, and next steps you can use today. Listen for the tools, stay for the hope, and leave with a plan.

If this helped you, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review—your words help others find their way to hope.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.

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Ever felt the pressure to be “on” every waking minute? We sat down with Rabbi and therapist Gary Katz to unpack the quiet cost of spiritual leadership: how constant likability, role-based identity, and unspoken expectations can turn faith into performance and push leaders toward secrecy. Gary opens up about his own crash into sex and love addiction, the spiral into substances, and the slow rebuild that followed—rooted in a radical idea: spiritual progress beats spiritual perfection.

Across our conversation, we map the terrain of process addictions and intimacy disorder in clear terms. If porn becomes a numbing loop, removing porn alone won’t solve the craving to shut down; the brain will find another off-switch. If affairs or attention are really about validation, new “respectable” behaviors can still feed the same hunger. Gary shows how the work is identifying your loop and building healthier ways to meet core needs without hiding. We also explore a common leadership blind spot: many of us can lead or follow, yet struggle to stand eye-to-eye as peers. That’s where healing happens—phone calls, coffee, shared truth without a stage.

We talk about the trap of curated vulnerability, the fatigue of 24/7 role performance, and the difference between toxic shame and the healthy kind that guides better choices. For leaders afraid of disqualification, Gary offers a measured path: hit pause on big decisions, anchor in real support, and relearn how to be a person before a title. Integrity isn’t spotless; it’s aligned. If you’ve been living split—polished outwardly, isolated inwardly—this conversation points to a way back to wholeness, connection, and a more honest faith.

Grab the free resource at ValiantLiving.com/episode54 and learn more about Gary’s work at intimacyrecovery.com. If this resonated, follow, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review to help others find their way to deeper recovery and real connection.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.

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The week Grace packed for college, Drew packed for rehab. What followed wasn’t a neat redemption arc, but a raw, practical path: loving leverage, clear boundaries, impact letters, and the slow re-growth of trust. We open with a feelings check—fear, shame, anger, gladness—then trace the hardest choice Grace made: asking her dad not to be part of move-in so she could protect her heart and he could face reality. That boundary didn’t just hold a line; it helped save a family.

Grace shares how college became her lifeline. New friends formed a portable sanctuary where she could tell the truth about addiction, grief, and hope without being defined by them. She names the paradox of healing—freedom away from home, sorrow when returning, and the relief of not managing a parent’s emotions. We walk through the impact letter process that precedes amends, how Drew sat with her words in group therapy, and why empathy must come before apology. A small crisis—a car accident—became a trust test he passed by simply showing up.

We dig into the interior shifts too. Drew describes surrendering control and the ego-breaking work of early treatment. Grace noticed a gentleness where force used to live, a willingness to listen rather than steer. Together we redefine “functional family” as one that admits the mess and tells the truth. Grace explains how crisis clarified her identity and sparked a calling to counsel kids and families—the very help she once needed. This is a story about recovering hearts and voices, not erasing the past but learning to carry it with honesty and hope.

If you’re a parent entering treatment or a student navigating the fallout, there’s practical help and real hope here. Grab our free resource for college students and young adults at ValiantLiving.com/episode 53, subscribe for more candid conversations, and leave a review to share what boundary or moment began your healing.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.