Kylian Mbappé and José Mourinho are already making noise at Real Madrid, Savio hits the ground running at Spurs, and the final week of the transfer window is a full-blown soap opera. Plus, Thierno Barry reminds everyone he can actually play.

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Celtic threw away a four-goal aggregate lead to crash out of the Champions League in one of the great European collapses. Plus, Nottingham Forest splash £50m on Liam Delap, Manchester United confirm Carlos Baleba, and Bruno Fernandes picks up PFA Player of the Year.

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Xabi Alonso's Chelsea won a five-goal thriller at Fulham, but the goalkeeper situation is already a problem. Plus, Gabriel Martinelli is headed to Saudi Arabia, and Julián Álvarez is living through the most uncomfortable transfer saga in Europe.

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Premier League Matchweek 1 delivered chaos, heartbreak, and one very conspicuous absence. Plus, Diego Maradona's most infamous ball just sold for a jaw-dropping price, and tonight Xabi Alonso makes his Chelsea debut against old teammate Álvaro Arbeloa's Fulham.

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Premier League Matchweek 1 delivered chaos: Hull stunned Manchester United, Brentford dismantled Spurs, and José Mourinho returned to Real Madrid in trademark dramatic fashion. Jamie Rudd breaks down the opening weekend's biggest moments.

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Arsenal open their Premier League title defense with a statement 3-0 win over Coventry. Lionel Messi gets fined for a slap in MLS. And Gianni Infantino delivers the strangest press dodge in football history.

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Arsenal opened their Premier League title defense with a statement 3-0 win over Coventry City, while Tottenham's Roberto De Zerbi dared the world to come at him. Plus, Manchester United keep rebuilding, FIFA hands out World Cup final punishment, and Usain Bolt shows up on an FA squad list.

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Tottenham are raiding a struggling Manchester City for two big names, UEFA and Concacaf are drawing up plans to shake the global soccer order, PSG have turned Ligue 1 into a one-team league, and Jose Mourinho is back at Real Madrid. A packed opening to the new Premier League season.

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The Premier League is back, with champions Arsenal hosting a Coventry side returning to the top flight for the first time in 25 years. Plus, Tottenham reportedly want to strip Manchester City of two attackers at once, Infantino loses another ally at FIFA, and Inter Milan quietly pocket Curtis Jones.

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Tottenham are reportedly closing in on two Manchester City attackers as the Pep-era clearout accelerates. A fifth FIFA vice-president publicly breaks with Gianni Infantino. Plus, Celtic put on a Champions League clinic and Curtis Jones heads to Inter Milan.

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AI gave us an assist in the creation of today's podcast, but the hat trick is our own.