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The Millennium Counseling Center Podcast
The Millennium Counseling Center Podcast episodes
- Saying What Matters 12 | Between Acceptance and Resistance
Some things are ours to accept. Others ask us to speak up.
In this unscripted episode of Saying What Matters, Oren Matteson and Rahsaan Nurullah follow a conversation that quickly turns to acceptance. Oren talks openly about two things he struggles to accept: that he doesn’t always have the right answers, and that life is finite. Rahsaan asks how those moments feel in the body, what Oren does to find safety, and what it costs to rush past difficult feelings instead of staying with them.
The conversation then turns to the tension between accepting what is and resisting what feels wrong. Rahsaan explains how a value hierarchy shapes what people tolerate and what they stand up for. Oren reflects on resisting his family’s move to the suburbs and what it taught him about identity, flexibility, and humility. The episode closes with a look at the silence men often keep when others cross a line, and why speaking up begins with noticing what happens in the body.
Key Discussion Points from Between Acceptance and Resistance
- Facing the things that are hardest to accept
- Noticing fear and powerlessness as they show up in the body
- Finding safety before turning toward what feels overwhelming
- How anxiety comes from anticipating risk that isn’t present
- Why resistance is often where the suffering lives
- Balancing acceptance with standing up for what feels wrong
- How a value hierarchy shapes what we tolerate and what we fight for
- Why identity and familiarity make change hard to accept
- Approaching others with humility and curiosity instead of judgment
- What silence costs when we witness something we’re not okay with
Related Episodes:
Finding Compassion Without Erasing the Pain
Knowing When Something Needs to Change
Teaching Your Partner How to Treat You
Listening to Understand, Not to Respond
What the Body Remembers From Childhood
Changing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
Connect with us:
Millennium Counseling Center: WebsiteOren Matteson: Millennium | LinkedInRahsaan Nurullah: LinkedInMore about Millennium Counseling Center and our hosts:
The Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago specializes in mental health services with a strong focus on various forms of addiction, including their premier program, 3A, which is targeted towards alcohol addiction. They offer various counseling methods, including one-on-one, couples, and group counseling, alongside an intensive treatment program emphasizing personalized attention, accountability, and acceptance.
The post Saying What Matters 12 | Between Acceptance and Resistance appeared first on Millennium Counseling Center.
47 min - Saying What Matters 11 | Living by What You Value
You can climb the ladder, check every box, and still feel disconnected from yourself.
In this episode of Saying What Matters, Rahsaan Nurullah talks about leaving a corporate career driven by burnout and an old fear of financial insecurity. He explains how he rebuilt his life around what actually makes him feel alive: service, connection, and inner work. Oren Matteson asks the question many listeners will have. How do you live this way while still keeping a job, staying in one place, and providing for the people who depend on you?
Oren and Rahsaan explore how clarity about your values changes how you spend your time, why being “asleep at the wheel” can cost more than we realize, and how the body signals what is and isn’t working. Oren shares how connection is his strongest source of meaning, and how he uses his own irritation with others as a mirror for growth. The two also discuss the pull toward “more” and why peace, presence, and a smaller world can be the most fulfilling choice.
Key Discussion Points from Living by What You Value
- How a drive for success can grow out of an old trauma response
- Recognizing burnout as feeling empty even in good moments
- Telling apart what you were taught to want from what you actually want
- Why getting clear on your values can change the direction of your life
- Living in both worlds while keeping a traditional job and routine
- Moving out of autopilot and paying attention to what drives your choices
- Using frustration with others as a mirror for personal growth
- How honesty and authenticity create immediate connection
- Questioning the belief that more always equals more
- Choosing peace as a priority
Related Episodes:
Knowing When Something Needs to Change
Changing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
The Body Knows Before the Mind Does
What the Body Remembers From Childhood
Saying What Matters in a Relationship
Listening to Understand, Not to Respond
Connect with us:
Millennium Counseling Center: WebsiteOren Matteson: Millennium | LinkedInRahsaan Nurullah: LinkedInMore about Millennium Counseling Center and our hosts:
The Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago specializes in mental health services with a strong focus on various forms of addiction, including their premier program, 3A, which is targeted towards alcohol addiction. They offer various counseling methods, including one-on-one, couples, and group counseling, alongside an intensive treatment program emphasizing personalized attention, accountability, and acceptance.
The post Saying What Matters 11 | Living by What You Value appeared first on Millennium Counseling Center.
48 min - Saying What Matters 10 | What the Body Remembers From Childhood
The body can hold onto experiences long after the mind has moved forward.
In this episode of Saying What Matters, Rahsaan Nurullah guides Oren Matteson through a somatic healing exercise involving breathwork, body awareness, visualization, and connection with his younger self. What begins as a feeling of dizziness leads Oren back to childhood experiences of isolation, uncertainty, and the fear of being fully seen.
Oren and Rahsaan discuss what the body remembers from childhood and how old protective responses can continue operating in adulthood. They explore the meaning we attach to difficult experiences, why trauma affects people differently, and how awareness can create enough space to respond intentionally instead of automatically repeating an old pattern.
Key Discussion Points from What the Body Remembers From Childhood
- Using breathwork and body scanning to notice physical sensations
- Connecting present discomfort to experiences from childhood
- The need to feel seen, valued, and accepted
- Why being visible can trigger fear of judgment or criticism
- How the body creates protective responses during childhood
- Recognizing when old survival patterns are still running in adulthood
- Creating space between an automatic reaction and an intentional response
- Why trauma is shaped by personal meaning, not only by what happened
- Practicing compassion for the different ways people experience the same event
Related Episodes:
When a Father is Not Fully Present
Growing Up Without Praise
Finding Compassion Without Erasing the Pain
Knowing When Something Needs to Change
Changing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
The Body Knows Before the Mind Does
Connect with us:
Millennium Counseling Center: WebsiteOren Matteson: Millennium | LinkedInRahsaan Nurullah: LinkedInMore about Millennium Counseling Center and our hosts:
The Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago specializes in mental health services with a strong focus on various forms of addiction, including their premier program, 3A, which is targeted towards alcohol addiction. They offer various counseling methods, including one-on-one, couples, and group counseling, alongside an intensive treatment program emphasizing personalized attention, accountability, and acceptance.
The post Saying What Matters 10 | What the Body Remembers From Childhood appeared first on Millennium Counseling Center.
40 min - Saying What Matters 9 | Teaching Your Partner How to Treat You
What you do not say in a relationship can still teach someone how to treat you.
In this episode of Saying What Matters, Oren Matteson and Rahsaan Nurullah continue their conversation about relationships, communication, and the ways couples learn each other over time. Oren talks about the idea that partners need an “instructional manual” for how to show up for each other, and why silence can unintentionally normalize behavior that does not feel right.
Oren and Rahsaan also explore the difference between immediate communication and needing time to reflect before speaking. They discuss emotional processing, judgment, perspective, grace, and the need to understand yourself before asking someone else to understand you. The conversation ends with a simple listening exercise that can help partners slow down, hear each other more clearly, and create more space for what actually matters.
Key Discussion Points from Teaching Your Partner How to Treat You
- Why partners need to learn how to show up for each other
- How silence can normalize behavior that does not feel right
- The importance of naming needs instead of expecting someone to guess
- Different communication styles inside a relationship
- Why some people need time to process before speaking
- Separating judgment from what is actually bothering you
- Understanding that two people can see the same situation differently
- Giving others the grace and space you would want for yourself
- A simple listening exercise for practicing presence and reflection
Related Episodes:
When a Father is Not Fully Present
Growing Up Without Praise
Finding Compassion Without Erasing the Pain
Knowing When Something Needs to Change
Changing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
The Body Knows Before the Mind Does
Connect with us:
Millennium Counseling Center: WebsiteOren Matteson: Millennium | LinkedInRahsaan Nurullah: LinkedInMore about Millennium Counseling Center and our hosts:
The Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago specializes in mental health services with a strong focus on various forms of addiction, including their premier program, 3A, which is targeted towards alcohol addiction. They offer various counseling methods, including one-on-one, couples, and group counseling, alongside an intensive treatment program emphasizing personalized attention, accountability, and acceptance.
The post Saying What Matters 9 | Teaching Your Partner How to Treat You appeared first on Millennium Counseling Center.
16 min - Saying What Matters 8 | Listening to Understand, Not to Respond
Being heard can change what becomes possible in a relationship.
In this episode of Saying What Matters, Oren Matteson and Rahsaan Nurullah continue their conversation about men, relationships, emotional safety, and the pressure many men feel to “man up” instead of speaking honestly. They talk about the old models men inherit from fathers, culture, and society, and how those models can leave men disconnected, angry, or unsure how to ask for support.
Rahsaan reflects on the biggest change he has made in relationships: learning to truly listen. He shares how couples therapy helped him recognize that he was often communicating what he thought someone else could hear, rather than what he actually needed. Together, Oren and Rahsaan discuss how listening to understand, instead of listening to respond, can create space, reduce conflict, and help both people feel seen.
Key Discussion Points from Learning to Listen in Relationships
- Why some men struggle to speak outside of traditional roles
- How inherited ideas of masculinity can keep men silent
- The difference between carrying pain and moving through it
- Why men are being asked to evolve in relationships
- How communication can break down when people talk past each other
- The skill of listening to understand instead of listening to respond
- What becomes possible when both partners feel heard
- Creating space for your partner’s full experience, not just your own
Related Episodes:
When a Father is Not Fully Present
Growing Up Without Praise
Finding Compassion Without Erasing the Pain
Knowing When Something Needs to Change
Changing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
The Body Knows Before the Mind Does
Connect with us:
Millennium Counseling Center: WebsiteOren Matteson: Millennium | LinkedInRahsaan Nurullah: LinkedInMore about Millennium Counseling Center and our hosts:
The Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago specializes in mental health services with a strong focus on various forms of addiction, including their premier program, 3A, which is targeted towards alcohol addiction. They offer various counseling methods, including one-on-one, couples, and group counseling, alongside an intensive treatment program emphasizing personalized attention, accountability, and acceptance.
The post Saying What Matters 8 | Listening to Understand, Not to Respond appeared first on Millennium Counseling Center.
17 min - Saying What Matters 7 | Saying What Matters in a Relationship
Saying what matters means staying connected without losing yourself.
In this episode of Saying What Matters, Oren Matteson and Rahsaan Nurullah talk about men, relationships, emotional regulation, and the old programming that shapes how men are taught to show up with women. They discuss traditional gender roles, the pressure to fix instead of listen, and the ways men can struggle when a partner expresses emotion.
Oren reflects on the “happy wife, happy life” model he learned growing up and how it led him to overfunction in relationships instead of showing up as a separate person with his own wants, needs, and opinions. Together, Oren and Rahsaan explore why autonomy matters, how men can learn to hold space without disappearing, and why speaking honestly to your partner can change the entire relationship.
Key Discussion Points from Saying What Matters in a Relationship
- How traditional gender roles still shape modern relationships
- Why men are often trained to fix instead of listen
- The emotional skills gap many men face in relationships
- What happens when a partner’s emotions feel like an attack
- Why “happy wife, happy life” can become a destructive model
- The difference between doing tasks and building connection
- Learning to stay autonomous inside a committed relationship
- Why saying what matters can reduce loneliness and emotional distress
Related Episodes:
When a Father is Not Fully Present
Growing Up Without Praise
Finding Compassion Without Erasing the Pain
Knowing When Something Needs to Change
Changing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
The Body Knows Before the Mind Does
Connect with us:
Millennium Counseling Center: WebsiteOren Matteson: Millennium | LinkedInRahsaan Nurullah: LinkedInMore about Millennium Counseling Center and our hosts:
The Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago specializes in mental health services with a strong focus on various forms of addiction, including their premier program, 3A, which is targeted towards alcohol addiction. They offer various counseling methods, including one-on-one, couples, and group counseling, alongside an intensive treatment program emphasizing personalized attention, accountability, and acceptance.
The post Saying What Matters 7 | Saying What Matters in a Relationship appeared first on Millennium Counseling Center.
22 min - Saying What Matters 6 | The Body Knows Before the Mind Does
Real change does not happen by forcing someone into it.
In this episode of Saying What Matters, Oren Matteson and Rahsaan Nurullah talk about presence, emotional work, and what it means to create enough safety for someone to say something they have never said out loud. Oren reflects on his role as a therapist and why trying too hard to fix or solve can get in the way of being fully present.
Rahsaan shares how his own healing work has shaped the way he supports others, especially when someone is close to recognizing a pattern but still needs to arrive at it on their own. Together, they discuss the connection between the mind and body, the ways people are taught to ignore physical signals, and why listening to the body can become an important part of healing and change.
Key Discussion Points from The Body Knows Before the Mind Does
- Why presence matters more than trying to fix someone
- How therapists and coaches hold space for deeper self-discovery
- The importance of letting people arrive at change on their own
- Why saying something out loud can reveal what has been hidden
- How the body gives signals before the mind fully understands them
- The damage caused by pushing through instead of listening inward
- Rebuilding trust between the mind and body
- Using breath, sensation, and body awareness as part of healing
Related Episodes:
When a Father is Not Fully Present
Growing Up Without Praise
Finding Compassion Without Erasing the Pain
Knowing When Something Needs to Change
Changing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
Connect with us:
Millennium Counseling Center: WebsiteOren Matteson: Millennium | LinkedInRahsaan Nurullah: LinkedInMore about Millennium Counseling Center and our hosts:
The Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago specializes in mental health services with a strong focus on various forms of addiction, including their premier program, 3A, which is targeted towards alcohol addiction. They offer various counseling methods, including one-on-one, couples, and group counseling, alongside an intensive treatment program emphasizing personalized attention, accountability, and acceptance.
The post Saying What Matters 6 | The Body Knows Before the Mind Does appeared first on Millennium Counseling Center.
14 min - Saying What Matters 5 | Changing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
Change often starts when something no longer feels right, even if you cannot explain why.
In this episode of Saying What Matters, Oren Matteson and Rahsaan Nurullah continue their discussion about personal change, patience, and the patterns that shape how people respond to stress, relationships, and everyday life. Oren reflects on the ongoing lessons that keep showing up for him, especially around patience and the need to understand what is happening beneath the surface before forcing an outcome.
Rahsaan talks about the people who come to him knowing that something feels off, but not always knowing what needs to change. He explains how old nervous system patterns can keep running long after they were first created, and why real change often means identifying the unmet needs, old programming, and childlike responses that still show up in adult life.
Key Discussion Points from Changing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
- Why patience can become an ongoing lesson in personal growth
- Learning to pause before forcing something to happen
- Recognizing that other people are having their own experience too
- Why successful people can still feel stuck, disconnected, or dissatisfied
- How old nervous system patterns can shape adult reactions
- The difference between knowing something needs to change and knowing what to change
- How unmet needs from the past can keep showing up in the present
- Reconnecting with the body to create safety and shift old programming
Related Episodes:
When a Father is Not Fully Present
Growing Up Without Praise
Finding Compassion Without Erasing the Pain
Knowing When Something Needs to Change
Connect with us:
Millennium Counseling Center: WebsiteOren Matteson: Millennium | LinkedInRahsaan Nurullah: LinkedInMore about Millennium Counseling Center and our hosts:
The Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago specializes in mental health services with a strong focus on various forms of addiction, including their premier program, 3A, which is targeted towards alcohol addiction. They offer various counseling methods, including one-on-one, couples, and group counseling, alongside an intensive treatment program emphasizing personalized attention, accountability, and acceptance.
The post Saying What Matters 5 | Changing the Patterns That Keep You Stuck appeared first on Millennium Counseling Center.
16 min - Saying What Matters 4 | Knowing When Something Needs to Change
Sometimes the moment that breaks your pattern looks smaller than the problem underneath it.
In this episode of Saying What Matters, Oren Matteson and Rahsaan Nurullah talk about change, values, stress, and the moments that forced them to look more closely at how they were living. Rahsaan reflects on a stressful work period in 2018, when two very different professional environments left him feeling fractured, overwhelmed, and out of alignment.
Rahsaan shares how a small reaction over a pair of shoes helped him realize the issue was not about the shoes at all. It was about stress, control, resilience, and the need to understand his own values. Oren also reflects on his own shift around work, ambition, and identity, including a conversation with a stranger in Chicago that helped him see the need to separate from old beliefs and become his own person.
Key Discussion Points from Knowing When Something Needs to Change
- How stress can reveal where something deeper is out of alignment
- Why values matter when deciding what needs to change
- The difference between pushing through and recognizing a bad fit
- How operating outside your values can hurt the people you care about
- Seeing work as something meaningful instead of something to minimize
- Letting go of old beliefs about ambition, success, and availability
- Becoming your own person instead of living through inherited patterns
Related Episodes:
When a Father is Not Fully Present
Growing Up Without Praise
Finding Compassion Without Erasing the Pain
Connect with us:
Millennium Counseling Center: WebsiteOren Matteson: Millennium | LinkedInRahsaan Nurullah: LinkedInMore about Millennium Counseling Center and our hosts:
The Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago specializes in mental health services with a strong focus on various forms of addiction, including their premier program, 3A, which is targeted towards alcohol addiction. They offer various counseling methods, including one-on-one, couples, and group counseling, alongside an intensive treatment program emphasizing personalized attention, accountability, and acceptance.
The post Saying What Matters 4 | Knowing When Something Needs to Change appeared first on Millennium Counseling Center.
16 min - How Millennium’s Athlete Wellness Program Supports Athletes
Athletes spend countless hours developing their physical skills, but performance is also shaped by stress, confidence, relationships, motivation, and life away from the field.
In this episode of the Millennium Podcast, Derek and Oren discuss how Millennium’s Athlete Wellness Program supports club, high school, college, and professional athletes. They explain why struggles with performance are not always solved by practicing more or trying harder.
Sometimes the issue showing up in a game is connected to anxiety, depression, communication problems, pressure, or challenges outside the sport. By looking at the whole person, athletes can better understand what is affecting them, reconnect with their love of the game, and perform from a healthier place.
Key Discussion Points- Why athletes may need different forms of mental health support
- The connection between life outside sports and athletic performance
- Why trying harder does not always solve motivation or confidence problems
- How stress has increased across youth, club, college, and professional sports
- The growing pressure athletes face from school, social media, coaches, and peers
- Why former athletes can bring important context into counseling
- How mental health support can help athletes enjoy their sport again
- Why success in one area does not mean someone has every area of life figured out
- The importance of supporting the whole person, not just the athlete
About Millennium Athlete WellnessMillennium Athlete Wellness provides a holistic approach to mental health and performance enhancement for athletes. Our team comprises sports psychology experts and clinical mental health professionals dedicated to helping athletes at all levels achieve peak performance and overall wellness. Each athlete we work with is connected to a licensed counselor, many of whom have personal experience as Division 1 athletes. This unique insight ensures a deep understanding of athletes’ challenges, both on and off the field. Our mission is to support athletes’ mental well-being and performance through expert guidance and empathetic care.
Related Content
The Power of Mental Health Breaks
Transitioning from High School to College Athletics with Scout Murray
Life After Sport Series: Trusting the Journey
Connect with us:
- Millennium Counseling Center: Website
- Derek Bylsma: Millennium | LinkedIn
- Oren Matteson: Millennium | LinkedIn
More about Millennium Counseling Center and our hosts
The Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago specializes in mental health services with a strong focus on various forms of addiction, including their premier program, 3A, which is targeted towards alcohol addiction. They offer various counseling methods, including one-on-one, couples, and group counseling, alongside an intensive treatment program emphasizing personalized attention, accountability, and acceptance.
The post How Millennium’s Athlete Wellness Program Supports Athletes appeared first on Millennium Counseling Center.
18 min
About The Millennium Counseling Center Podcast
From the publisher's feed
Welcome to the Millennium Counseling Center Podcast! As one of the leading counseling centers in Chicago, our goal is to help people rise above shame and pain to reach heights they never thought were…
possible. In this podcast we will help people find a way out of the bondage of self-hate, shame and pain often caused by addiction, mental illness and trauma. We believe that with hard work and dedication, people can reclaim the hope that these diseases insidiously strip away. Come celebrate healing, hope, and recovery with us. Hope is yours, it’s time to soar.