This morning on The Morning After, a judge made a mistake he can’t make, you’re being told not to eat potentially-radioactive shrimp, Sugar Daddy Tyler from Michigan Sugar joined us to play Florida/Not Florida, ‘monkey-barring’ is the latest dating term, our MVP bit a child for a free t-shirt, and humanoid robots may soon carry our children.

00:13 - Judge makes huge mistake
07:12 - Don’t eat radioactive shrimp
13:01 - Florida/Not Florida
22:52 - Monkey-barring
27:51 - MVP
37:05 - Humanoid robots can carry babies

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This morning on The Morning After, raccoons had a party inside a Florida man’s home, we learned about another side effect for Ozempic users, a man wearing women’s lingerie and fake boobs ran from police on Florida/Not Florida, we had an update on the Seattle park where people won’t stop masturbating, our MVP was not happy with the sound of his neighbor’s landscaper’s lawnmower, a man in the UK has been blocking traffic silently for more than ten years, and there’s a new world’s oldest living chicken.

00:13 - Raccoon party inside man’s home
08:25 - Ozempic vulva
13:43 - Florida/Not Florida
21:44 - MA Update
28:29 - MVP
38:48 - Man blocks traffic silently
44:27 - World’s oldest living chicken

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This morning on The Morning After, a man is blaming his large penis for a slip-and-fall accident in the shower, Video Jimmy from the Great Lakes Loons joined us to play Florida/Not Florida, the ‘Coffin Confessor’ will divulge your secrets at your funeral, our MVP filled the A/C unit on her ex’s car with glitter, a teacher picked up a DUI on his second day of the school year, and a man needed help getting out of a tube slide.

00:13 - Man blames big penis for slip-and-fall
05:52 - Florida/Not Florida
14:50 - Coffin Confessor
22:00 - MVP
32:56 - Teacher gets DUI on second day of school
38:14 - Man gets stuck in tube slide

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This morning on The Morning After, a woman Photoshopped her face onto a marathon runner’s body to convince people she ran the marathon, another sex doll was found floating in a river, PartyFam Andy joined us for Missed Connections, a super speed in Florida thought he was in a race against police, our MVP was threatening people and humped a fridge inside Trader Joe’s, rats the size of cats are invading one UK town, and we wrapped up the week with a few Things We Missed.

00:13 - Woman photoshops herself onto marathon runner
09:21 - Another sex doll found floating in river
14:46 - Missed Connections
24:31 - Super speeder thought he was racing police
28:14 - MVP
35:15 - Rats the size of cats
39:48 - Things We Missed

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This morning on The Morning After, a woman tried to burn a man’s house down on ‘Why you mad, bro?’, an ash-scattering ceremony was ruined by a fart on Spotify, Teagan joined us for Unqualified Love Advice, breast milk ice cream is now available nationwide, our MVP was dancing on a roof before she fell down the chimney, a bird name Mango helped bring down a drug cartel, and a man hit 389 hand pays at a casino in Florida.

00:13 - Why you mad, bro?
09:27 - Ceremony ruined by Spotify fart
14:55 - Unqualified Love Advice - Seg. 1
21:53 - Unqualified Love Advice - Seg. 2
27:56 - Breast milk ice cream available nationwide
34:20 - MVP
43:25 - Parrot brings down drug ring
48:47 - 389 hand pays at casino

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This morning on The Morning After, a naked man with a dildo on a stick scared hikers in Europe, a mermaid statue’s big boobs has caused a stir in Denmark, Sugar Daddy Tyler from Michigan Sugar joined us to play Florida/Not Florida, a historical society honored a man with a plaque above a urinal, our MVP was doing genital ultrasounds in his apartment, a company has unveiled 9-volt battery-flavored chips, and an intern’s ‘energy’ wasn’t where it should have been when she called in sick to work.

00:13 - Naked man with dildo on a stick
07:42 - Mermaid statue has huge boobs
13:07 - Florida/Not Florida
22:30 - Man gets plaque above urinal
27:48 - MVP
37:16 - 9-volt battery-flavored chips
43:48 - Intern’s ‘energy’ wasn’t where it should be

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This morning on The Morning After, a fort built by local teens has been taken down by authorities in Connecticut, a zoo in Denmark is asking people to donated their unwanted pets to feed to their animals, a man was sitting butt naked on a park bathroom floor on Florida/Not Florida, a stripper believes that her clients not asking her for cocaine means we’re in a recession, our MVP is a cop who posted a TikTok claiming she was going to give everyone a ticket after not getting laid, teens in China are using adult pacifiers to destress, and a ‘flying fish’ is to blame for a wildfire near Vancouver.

00:13 - Fort built by teens taken down
08:53 - Zoo asking for unwanted pet donations
16:06 - Florida/Not Florida
24:32 - No one is asking strippers for cocaine
30:13 - MVP
39:34 - Adult pacifiers
46:33 - ‘Flying fish’ causes wildfire

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This morning on The Morning After, a popular new fetish involves people blowing up beach balls, Video Jimmy from the Great Lakes Loons joined us to play Florida/Not Florida, what rescuers thought was a man yelling for help was actually just a man singing Nickelback, our MVP stabbed two bakery employees over a sandwich he purchased four years ago, a company wants to create a shampoo and body wash that will help competitive card game players stop stinking, and we now know what creeps do with the toenails they buy from OnlyFans models.

00:13 - Beach ball fetish on the rise
05:20 - Florida/Not Florida
15:37 - Man screaming for help actually singing Nickelback
20:54 - MVP
29:05 - Shampoo and body cash for card game players
37:08 - What do people do with OnlyFans models’ toenails?

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This morning on The Morning After, a woman racked up over $20,000 in medical bills after a bat flew in her mouth, a man called police over the price of a bratwurst, a man wanted to watch another man go potty on Missed Connections, scientists are injecting are making rhino horns radioactive to stop poaching, our MVP called police about kids being kids at a lemonade stand, a man was arrested after breaking into a Little League storage shed, and we wrapped up the week with a few Things We Missed.

00:13 - Bat flies into woman’s mouth
07:23 - Man calls police over price of bratwurst
13:20 - Missed Connections
22:56 - Rhinos with radioactive horns
29:17 - MVP
38:46 - Man breaks into Little League storage shed
44:26 - Things We Missed

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This morning on The Morning After, a Delta Airlines employee used a tablet left behind to record masturbation videos, robot bunnies and radioactive wasps are a thing, Teagan joined us for Unqualified Love Advice, a woman got her revenge on a car dealership by stealing their name, our MVP was stealing Smokey The Bear signs from state parks in Florida, we told you everything you needed to know about ‘summer long balls,’ and representatives in Iceland want you to stop walking on the lava.

00:13 - Delta employee uses tablet for JO videos
08:17 - Robot bunnies and radioactive wasps
14:57 - Unqualified Love Advice - Seg. 1
22:41 - Unqualified Love Advice - Seg. 2
28:50 - Woman steals car dealership’s name
36:13 - MVP
45:07 - Summer long balls
49:44 - Stop walking on the lava

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