the Mudroom

Many Parents are trying to avoid this subject.  

The big, bad, and often complex events of the past.  

This is one of those conversation topics that can be...interesting to discuss with children.  

Right up there with the “birds and the bees”.  

Certain holidays/observations, something our child/ren saw on TV, a conversation they overheard, these can all spark curiosity and questions. So how much information is age-appropriate for a child but also, are we being honest and forthcoming enough about history?  

In this episode we´ll discuss: 

-  What conversations we should be having with our children 

- How to teach kids certain parts of history 

- Why it´s important to have these conversations

Have you ever had that uncomfortable moment when you find yourself questioning a decision your child’s teacher made?  

It might be over their disciplinary methods, homework or academic pressure, meal times… whatever the reason, sometimes we find ourselves on opposite sides of the playing field with the teacher and it’s an awkward position to be in.  

My clients have come to me with various reasons for butting heads with their child’s teacher and now that we’ve gotten a little more settled into the school year and everyone has become more comfortable, there’s a possibility that these disagreements are going to come up for you too.   

So let’s talk about it!   

Disagreeing with a child care professional can feel like a battle of epic proportions so it’s understandable that a lot of parents shrug it off, but I want you to remember something:   

You are the expert on your child.  

And as such, you’re allowed to question and be a part of the discussion about what’s happening in the classroom with your child.  

But this also doesn’t need to be the showdown of the century either.   

On this episode we discuss: 

- Why disagreements with teachers are common 

- Why it´s important to address them 

- What´s the right way to go about it

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Earlier is not always better.

Let’s get really honest with each other right now.  

It feels great to hear compliments about how smart your child is.  You might feel some pride when their teacher tells you they’re progressing faster than their peers.  

Sure, maybe little Susie’s mom always looks put together during daycare drop-off, but guess who’s kid was counting first? 

That’s right. 

Your baby. *high five*  

We can’t always help it. 

We want to see our child/ren succeed and it’s nice to hear that they’re not only succeeding but doing a little.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Trick-Or-Treat!  

It’s looking like Halloween is going to be a little more treat than trick this year!   

Whatever your plans are for Halloween is up to you and your family. I know it can look completely different depending on which part of the globe you’re reading this email from and your unique circumstances.   

So what activities you should and shouldn’t be doing isn’t going to be the topic for Monday’s MudRoom.   

Instead, I’m going to help you figure out what you might want to think about and plan for so you can have a fun and exciting Halloween, regardless of what candy-filled shenanigans you decide on.   

Because even though Halloween might feel pretty straightforward, there are some things you  might want to keep in mind that can possibly impact your children’s experience...like prepping your quarantine toddler for having a bunch of ghosts and werewolves walking up to their door and screaming “trick-or-treat!”.  Could you imagine, being a 2-year-old who was mostly home for over a year and BAM, now there’s a vampire demanding a lollipop at your home?    

On this episode we'll discuss: 

- What you want to consider when planning 

- Different things to enjoy 

- What to keep in mind so kids don´t get overwhelmed

When we have children, the hope is that we can raise them to be good humans who respect others, persevere, and work hard.

So when your toddler tosses the stuffed animal you offered to buy them because they want to $300 dollar playset instead, parents usually stare at them horror struck and think:

Holy crap, I’m raising an entitled brat!

Cue the overcrictism of what that means about our parenting and our children.

This is when we become hypersensitive to when they’re being particularly demanding.

Or we start counting how many times they say please or thank you (or rather noticing how many times they didn’t say it).

Suddenly those moments when they refused to share their toy or help their baby brother find his pacifier feel a little more malicious or selfish than we originally thought.

It’s honestly a tailspin of worry added on top of all the other things parents tend to worry about.

If this is you and you’re worry that you could be possibly raising a child who grows up selfish and you’ll be featured on the next episode of Super Nanny with a miniature tyrant screaming at you between commercial breaks...

...or even if right now your child is super polite and appreciative but you’re still concerned about it anyway-

I’m telling you, you’ll leave the conversation feeling so much better, especially with holidays that can be particularly triggering when it comes to gratitude and “being spoiled”.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

I’ve given plenty of advice and tips on how to handle attention-seeking behaviour.

And I firmly stand by the advice I’ve given because I know it works.

But here’s where the problem arises.

When we try to apply methods meant to help with attention-seeking behaviour to some other type of behaviour you’re not going to see an improvement.

It’s like using the wrong tool on a DIY project. You can keep trying, but it’s going to end up a Pinterest fail.

And I get it.

Not only is it frustrating to see all your best parenting skills (seemingly) not working, but it might also leave you feeling less than confident about ditching methods like time-out and such.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Behaviour Charts... They do not work!

I’ve talked about it in the past but I’ve held off discussing it again until we got a little deeper into the school year because teachers usually wait until the class is settled before whipping them out of their supply closet.

You’ve either seen them or know about them, maybe even had the “joy” of your teacher using one when you were in school.

The most common behaviour chart is the Green light (“good behaviour”), Yellow light (warning), and Red light (“bad behaviour”), but they come in all kinds of formats, dressed up with stickers and cartoon characters to make them look less...problematic.

Don’t be fooled either. They’re also disguised as sticker charts, token economies, points, “class dollars” etc.

The method and more importantly the results of these methods are the same.

On this video we'll discuss:

-  What ``Behaviour Charts´´ actually are for

- The effect they have on children

- Should I be using them?

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

It’s a heart wrenching situation, believe me- I understand.   

You drive up to school/daycare, your child gets out with their little lunch box and water bottle with a bright smile that lights up your world.   

You walk up to the teacher at the gate and give them a sympathetic smile because you both know what’s about to occur...  And that’s when you see your child’s expression change and it clicks.   

They’re going to leave me here!   

Cue the tears, the painful pleads for you to stay, you promising you’ll come back as you pull little fingers off of you while they wail for you not to go.   It makes it all the more dramatic when the teacher has to come and literally pry your crying child off of you and they lurch forward like they’ve been doomed to imprisonment.   

You bounce back and forth between trying to decide if you should leave your child shrieking and make a mad dash for the car, or if you should try and console them some more.   

The teacher’s looking at you with a tight lipped smile while they wrestle with your squirming kid, at least 3 other parents have successfully shoved their kiddo’s in the door and are already in their car leaving.  

Here you are wondering how many more days will it take before they can get used to drop-off and pick-up without such an emotional upheaval.  

On this episode we´ll discuss: 

- How to react to intense emotions 

- How to help your kids adjust to changes 

- The right way to handle your kids emotions

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

We’ve been in the trenches of COVID for a long time, friends, and I can’t stress it enough to parents.   

No! Your child isn’t falling behind and there’s no need to go hire tutors to jam 2 years worth of academics into your child’s brain… But with that being said our children may need a little extra support with some socialization and other skills.   

Not saying they’ve gone rabid or anything but lots of children haven’t gotten the chance to practice their skills and now that we’re attempting to return to some kind of normalcy, it’s starting to show.   

Parents are telling me about their children struggling in the classroom or play groups with things like: 

- Taking turns and sharing 

- Waiting and being patient

- And moving with a purpose (they’re moving at a snail's pace for everything)   So, what can be done?   

On this episode we´ll discuss: 

- What our kids might be needing right now 

- How to support our kids properly 

- How we can help them regain a sense of normalcy

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Here’s something I’ve noticed over and over again about “respectful” or “gentle” parenting.  

This idea that in an effort to redirect behaviour or calm our children we need to talk.  We give options, and validate emotions, then try sportscasting, explaining, and on and on and on....  

And the whole time the child is only screaming louder, they’re melting onto the floor in the middle of story time, or they immediately go and do whatever it was you were trying to stop them from doing.  

This can leave parents baffled, “why isn’t this whole gentle parenting thing working?”  

This is going to seem like contradictory advice but here’s what I tell the parents who come to me with this problem…  Stop talking.  Yup.    

We’re gonna zip it.  I can already guess your next question though: “If I need to stop talking, how am I supposed to get my child to listen without resorting to timeout and spanking? 

I gotta do something besides let them run around like a gremlin.”  And that’s a valid question.  

While communication is important, it’s not going to do you much good if they’re not able to actually listen to what you’re saying.  

In this episode we´ll discuss: 

- What to do when our kids are upset 

- What is the best way of teaching them? 

- What can i do to help them calm down?

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices