To the foolish and dimwitted, the moon seems to disappear and reappear due to the forces of wizards. To the well mannered and witty, the rear end of a vehicular looks like the best place to inform others of their opinions. The Mustache Rangers bring you another thrilling adventure this week. Enjoy with no compliments.

It is an old saying that giving a man a peach is lick a powerful blow to his forehead. The peach is the weakest of all fruit, and is an insult to all. When the president of space discovered this, all the peach trees were burnt. The state formerly known as Georgia, now know as […]

An animal once spoke and said that the sky was falling. So its speaking genes would not be passed on to future generations of animals, the creature with a voice was eaten. Oddly enough, the eater went mute. What does this tell us? Chew at least 20 times before swallowing. The Mustache Rangers have gotten […]

It has been said that under times of intense desperation, a mother may have the power to lift a boulder pushed by a cougar off her infant man child. If there only a way, any way possible, to harness the raw energy of the cougar. Mankind would soon become something more akin to cougar kind, […]

Make no mistake, the Mustache Rangers never lose. But when they do lose, it is with grace and dignity. And also, because someone else cheated. A ruse was put in to place, and it will not be stood for. This is absurdity at its very base level. Losing is not an option, and when that […]

It Europe, the fairer sex often gives freedom to their underarm follicles. In Space Europe, aliens with only one gender eat something akin the mashed potatoes except they are made out of stars and wishes. There are many differences between things. But every man, woman, and child loves the Mustache Rangers. This is an example […]

The worm has turned, but it still does not know which way is up. That is Ranger code for, “Go to bed and do not allow the bugs of your bed consume you.” There is another saying that is code, but it was spoken by a porcupine and heard only by the trees. Space trees. […]

Every period in history is the most mucked up period in history to those who are living it. The only solution is to remove yourself from history all together. This is easier said than done, which is true of everything for everyone except those who are mute. We do not know why you continue to […]

Many things have reached the number twenty. The number of teeth you may have. The eyes waiting for you in a growth laboratory. Many a thing. Mind you, none of your things are as important as the great Mustache Rangers and their cause. Remember that twenty times over and we shall be square.

Centuries are full of facts. In fact, a century is either ninety-nine or one hundred consecutive years. If you have fifty years, and then you take a break, followed by another fifty years, that is not a century. Perhaps you have created novelty plastic cups to mark the occasion. Those cups will be an eternal […]