The Mycelium Tappers

Links:

The Hermit's Anarchy

Paula's website: Awaken Your Dance

Paula’s handle: Paula Lane

Explore Paula's Ecstatic Dance!

Disclaimer: we’re amateurs at best, not professionals! We’re just folks with varied experience we’d like to share! Please never take our advice as medical advice, always see a doctor and attempt to treat the physical before the metaphysical. We may be connected spiritually, but we’re practically strangers! Please always trust your instincts primarily. We support critical thinking and pulling info from multiple sources! Please research into things that peak your interest, and we’re always open to answer questions. Feel free to speak up if we make mistakes, we’re only human and it’s bound to happen. Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

We’re also standing firmly against fascism, racism, sexism, homophobia, and ableism, all of the -isms. Genocide is never necessary or just, war is just good for billionaire gain and throwing minorities to the wolves under false guise. We support all BIPOC, women, and members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Gender has nothing to do with biology, everything is grey in nature. Come be liminal and beautiful with us. If how strongly we love ourselves pisses you off, you need a good look in the mirror <3

Oh and, how could we forget? The greatest resistance will always be rooted in love. Both for ourselves and for others. We are all connected regardless of whether we see it or not. Welcome to the mycelium. Welcome to oneness.

I opened this session in very low spirits and in a lot of pain. Listening back now I can notice the shifts, where the biggest releases happened, and I am overjoyed that I was able to capture this period of moments in time, not just in one medium but two!

This is the art I channeled during this session!! This is what I saw in my mind’s eye, and felt as I journeyed. Thank you for being here. Thank you for staying alive. Thank you for taking this time to work with your shadows on a deeper level. I truly hope that this helps someone else out here. Thank you <3

Edit: forgot the links. Myyy bad!

Links:

Thanatos's website: The Hermit's Anarchy

Paula's website: Awaken Your Dance

Watch this pod on Youtube!

Disclaimer: we’re amateurs at best, not professionals! We’re just folks with varied experience we’d like to share! Please never take our advice as medical advice, always see a doctor and attempt to treat the physical before the metaphysical. We may be connected spiritually, but we’re practically strangers! Please always trust your instincts primarily. We support critical thinking and pulling info from multiple sources! Please research into things that peak your interest, and we’re always open to answer questions. Feel free to speak up if we make mistakes, we’re only human and it’s bound to happen. Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

We’re also standing firmly against fascism, racism, sexism, homophobia, and ableism, all of the -isms. We support immigrants of all kind, as all of us were once foreign to this land. Genocide is never necessary or just, war is just good for billionaire gain and throwing minorities to the wolves under false guise. We support all BIPOC, women, and members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Gender has nothing to do with biology, everything is grey in nature. Come be liminal and beautiful with us. If how strongly we love ourselves pisses you off, you need a good look in the mirror <3

Oh and, how could we forget? The greatest resistance will always be rooted in love. Both for ourselves and for others. We are all connected regardless of whether we see it or not. Welcome to the mycelium. Welcome to oneness.

Ahem… excuse me while I critique the Gods… /j

This is more of a self-critique than anything. I named myself “peaceful death” for a reason I’ve somehow forgotten. I’m realizing the truth of my name, and my existence, is liminal, just as anything else is. This is a poem about processing these big feelings of fear, pain, suffering, and grief that surround death as a concept. Death reminds us of our impermanence, and how we strive to be perfect/permanent (most speak of it as leaving a legacy behind) almost as a path to overcome this natural cycle. But this only leaves us feeling more empty than ever, especially when it is tied up in monetary gain and chasing external validation. I’m aiming to heal these parts of myself now so that I can move forward more authentically, to build the future I want and need. I’m not the first person or the last person to be going through this, but I hope I can at the very least interject my expressive humanity into this restorative work I’m doing.

I feel I’m constantly experiencing death at this point but…it’s still extremely uncomfortable. And it’s fucking meant to be. That’s what this piece is about. Thank you for being here with me. Full poem is transcribed in the captions. It was hand-written so I hope they come through lmao.

Edit: forgot the usual links oh my gods.

Links:

Thanatos's website: The Hermit's Anarchy

Paula's website: Awaken Your Dance

Watch this pod on Youtube!

Disclaimer: we’re amateurs at best, not professionals! We’re just folks with varied experience we’d like to share! Please never take our advice as medical advice, always see a doctor and attempt to treat the physical before the metaphysical. We may be connected spiritually, but we’re practically strangers! Please always trust your instincts primarily. We support critical thinking and pulling info from multiple sources! Please research into things that peak your interest, and we’re always open to answer questions. Feel free to speak up if we make mistakes, we’re only human and it’s bound to happen. Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

We’re also standing firmly against fascism, racism, sexism, homophobia, and ableism, all of the -isms. We support immigrants of all kind, as all of us were once foreign to this land. Genocide is never necessary or just, war is just good for billionaire gain and throwing minorities to the wolves under false guise. We support all BIPOC, women, and members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Gender has nothing to do with biology, everything is grey in nature. Come be liminal and beautiful with us. If how strongly we love ourselves pisses you off, you need a good look in the mirror <3

Oh and, how could we forget? The greatest resistance will always be rooted in love. Both for ourselves and for others. We are all connected regardless of whether we see it or not. Welcome to the mycelium. Welcome to oneness.

Hi. I’m terrified of being vulnerable. I’m scared of being in pain. This is the most human I’ve ever let myself be aloud, alone, in my own space. I wrote this poem a few minutes ago in a flurry of grief, hope, confusion, and understanding. I hope my vulnerability helps someone else out there going through these feelings, and maybe even inspires someone to work through their feelings like I did. Thanks for joining me.

Thank you for being here. Truly. It helps to know I’m not the only one out here talking to the void. I felt such an immense release with this one. Let me know if I should keep it up cause…this scared the everliving shit out of me.

The Hermit's Anarchy is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber! Paid subscribers help me work towards my goal of setting up a safe space for spiritual nerds and coven members ^^

Welcome friends of the mycelium, to our first "official" episode of The Mycelium Tappers!!!

In this episode we discuss trance dance, doodling and flow, and how it all relates back to oneness and healing.

Links!!

Thanatos's website: The Hermit's Anarchy

Paula's website: Awaken Your Dance

Shared Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@themyceliumtappers

Paula's Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Awakenyourdance

Disclaimer: we’re amateurs, not professionals! We’re just folks with a lot of experience we’d like to share! Please never take our advice as medical advice, always see a doctor and attempt to treat the physical before the metaphysical. Mundane before magick, and always trust your instincts, not ours! We’re simply laying down some pavement for the rest of you to build your castles on. We support critical thinking and pulling info from multiple sources! Please research into things that peak your interest, and we’re always open to answer questions!

We’re also standing firmly against fascism, sexism, homophobia, and ableism. Genocide is never necessary or just, war is just good for billionaire gain and throwing minorities to the wolves under false guise. We support all BIPOC, women, and members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Gender has nothing to do with biology, everything is grey in nature. Come be liminal and beautiful with us. If how strongly we love ourselves pisses you off, you need a good look in the mirror <3 mwuah!

Oh and, how could we forget? The greatest resistance will always be rooted in love. Both for ourselves and for others. We are all connected regardless of whether we see it or not. Welcome to the mycelium. Welcome to oneness.

Note from Thanatos: Thank you so much to all the folks who have been reading and downloading my previous solo pilot-ish episodes!! Whether you know it or not, you helped me keep up this momentum and let it blossom into something bigger! I’m always open to suggestions and questions, feel free to leave a comment anywhere and I’ll do my absolute best to answer questions I feel I’m qualified to answer. Want something more anonymous? Find me in the mycelium, make a burner account, even send a prayer to Hekate! She’s happy to let me know if someone needs more support.

I’ve had this idea floating around in my head for a while. Channeling is something I’ve been doing naturally for years, and recently I realized I can speak using my physical voice even when I am in a distant universe. Thus, I recorded. It flowed so naturally that I knew this was something I was meant to do, and continue to record for publishing. I’m excited to not only bring my astral journeys to my conscious mind, but to hand these tools I have used for lifetimes over to the people. I value these tools deeply, so I ask of you that they are not taken for granted. Use this power wisely, just as I have.

Channeling is something I know to be innate for humanity. It’s something that can be awakened, but only when one is ready for its power. I believe we’re all worthy of this natural resilience, this energy we carry within us as we go about our day to day lives. The trick, or key as I prefer, is that we must listen for it. We must learn to shut up and stop talking, and instead spend time in silence, waiting and listening. I believe now, upon reflecting on this journey, that this was one of the messages I was meant to receive. So many unkind people are filling up the world with endless chatter, and those voices are coming through to us constantly through advertisements and media. I voluntarily force myself into hermit mode when I notice its affect on me. I need that time to just be alone in order to recenter myself around my own unique voice. This is when I remember who I am most potently.

I can go on more, but speaking of recentering, I have a commitment to myself that I must follow through on. Much love to my friends of the mycelium. I’ll see you next time!

Note: Hiiii okay I’ve never done/posted anything like this before but it totally feels wonderful to have gotten the emotions out regarding this relationship. It was reaaally cathartic and totally experimental so I’m very happy with how it all turned out!! I guess just wanted to say here that,, this is my first time doing this life as far as I know so… please take it easy on me lmao

I also did this at like midnight in my bathroom so. I had the shower on so I [ideally] didn’t wake up my downstairs neighbors. apologies for the extra noise and (?)weird audio. Alr hope y’all enjoy ^^

Full poem below [see also the transcript]

Section I

I wear my pain with power

and pride

She is with me now

as I collapse in on myself

Asking “why did it have to

be this way?”

(It didn't, but he chose this).

I find myself

thinking about you weekly,

monthly, yearly

though we haven't talked since

I was 17.

You had messaged me

from a throw-away number,

(a coward as always)

and I told you

Never to talk to me again,

to so much as think of me,

or I would persecute you

to the fullest extent

of the law.

But here you are,

finding me every night

at 21.

It's as if every time

I dream of you,

I discover a new way

you sunk your teeth into my

supple skin,

clawed at my bones

and tugged at my heart strings.

You wrapped your fingers

in her tender flesh,

called to my soul just to

dress her in locks and chains.

This time will not be the last

time, but I find power in this anger.

This will not be the last

time

I see through

your facade and

your pattern of cruelty.

You appeared to me desired

and holy, until

my body excorcised

your flesh prison

and

all that was left

was the devil.

He who was present in

every fuck, every snarl,

every look you gave me.

I was your Queen,

Your sanctuary

the reason you

remained

when you

ascended

But in that

moment

I discovered you

had only stayed

to extinguish

my flame.

It was too late

to leave without

a clash of teeth

and bones

bloody sheets and

cursed tongues.

Your abuse is the curse

that keeps giving,

but I survived your claws and

teeth by growing

fangs of my own

Thick scaly skin to

compensate for

the frequent licks

of your sacreligious

purity.

Section II

Tomorrow night,

I will eat you whole

when you

gallavant

through my

dreamscape

like a hungry sadist

(as you explore

my body

and home like

a new frontier

to conquer).

You never owned me,

though you acted

like you did--

keeping me like a

sacred / unholy

plot of fertile / expired land

under lock and key

(“to keep the

desolate out”

read your lips,

Your arms

squeezed

tight around

my throat).

You never owned me,

yet you circumcised

my friendships

my family

When I gained conscience

and stopped

shapely enacting

your sour fantasy

(You retracted

my royalty

at the snap of

your fingers).

You never called me a princess,

you called me slurs

For I was your slave,

entitled to clean up

your mess upon

my bloody hands and knees.

You screamed and

sobbed when I

withdrew my abundance,

Let you stew in pestilence,

allowed you to reap what you had

blasphemously sewed.

You told me you’d harvest

the soil itself if I kept this up;

That I had promised a bounty

bigger than you could imagine,

and I'd better hold up my end of

the bargain.

So I agreed to keep sweet,

and withdrew my roots

with baited breath

(vulnerable for only you).

I let the mushrooms flourish,

decompose and renew

my poisoned fields so

that my love could feast.

Section III

I pray that you enjoyed this meal

I prepared with love,

That it has kept you fat

and satisfied through this

long winter.

I pray that you only realize now

what I have done,

too late to save yourself

from your own fucking poison.

I pray the mushrooms multiply

and thrive with my sacrifice,

until your body is full of puss

and you're rotting from the inside out.

I pray your soul chains itself

stubbornly to the disease as it

always has.

i pray that you remain unchanging,

stagnant and suffering,

boiled alive by your

feverish hunger for

what was never yours.

I pray that your soil will be mine

to use when it's all said and done,

I pray for justice and this is

my piéce du resistance.

I pray that the next time

you cross my path

it’s my fantasy, not yours

Where I have fuller teeth

and claws than

even your devil could muster.

Sharpened with love,

through kindness and cruelty,

though I don't use my claws

unless I am forced to.

I’m armed with a sickness

stronger than the black death

and I wear my power with

pain and pride.

That is the difference

between you and I,

I always loved myself for

my faults / powers

even when you proved to me

that you didn't.

Don’t you dare forget that

Aphroditus,

Goddess of love

and divinity

also rules war and death.

She consumes Aries

in the bedroom,

and he bears her love / poison

with devotion

and prowess.

When you're so caught up

in your own destruction,

don't forget that it only reminds me

of my power

and your stagnation / weakness.