The Northern Aggression Podcast

The Northern Aggression Podcast

By Marshall and GunterComedy
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The Northern Aggression Podcast episodes

  • Chin Hair Distribution

    Marshall and Gunter attempt to video themselves recording the podcast—because clearly adding cameras won’t make things worse. Gunter immediately discovers a rogue chin hair and is deeply upset that no one warned her. Marshall helpfully compares it to old-man eyebrow hairs, which does not improve the situation.

    They take a brief DIY detour to talk about installing window film, then pivot to where they’d be willing to accept sponsorships (Cowgirl Pizza officially makes the list). Gunter reveals that Marshall insists on buying T-shirts from restaurants they visit, which feels important for you to know. Marshall also takes a casual swipe at Pittsburgh, just because.

    Marshall then announces he wants to talk about distributions—gender edition. This somehow involves his French friend having twins, a strong stance against assigning pink or blue to babies, and—inevitably—another jab at the French.

    And because no episode is complete without it, Marshall wraps things up by ranting about toilet paper commercials with bears. Honestly, what doesn’t he have a problem with?

    Cameras, chin hairs, consumer outrage, and cultural commentary—Northern Aggression at its finest.

    29 min
  • What Do You Have Against TikTok?

    Gunter opens by telling Marshall that he freaks her out no matter what he does. Marshall doesn’t help matters by refusing to tell her what he plans to talk about. He immediately takes a jab at P. Diddy, then casually reveals he’s had a Jeopardy! page-a-day calendar for years—and yes, he keeps a spreadsheet tracking his performance, complete with standard deviation. Gunter responds the only reasonable way: calling him a nerd and expressing disbelief.

    Marshall fires off a barrage of random knowledge, and the two briefly promote CM Chicken before dinner takes a turn. Gunter gasps at a headline about the Idaho murder suspect’s expected guilty plea, which launches Marshall into a rant. Gunter admits she was looking forward to watching the trial, and Marshall calls her out for being obsessed with the case for a while. His spiral isn’t really about the case itself—it’s about how no one ever actually had the facts.

    The episode closes with Gunter asking Marshall what he has against TikTok. She immediately regrets it.

    Stats, spirals, and unsolicited expertise—another classic Northern Aggression episode.

    29 min
  • Needle Crimes

    Marshall comes in hot with breaking news—he wants Gunter’s raw reaction to the latest updates in the Wander Franco case. Of course, he delivers the case details with full dramatic flair, because subtlety isn’t really his thing.

    As expected, Marshall has thoughts—on Franco, on Major League Baseball, and on how other professional sports have (or haven’t) handled their own scandals. No league is safe from his judgment.

    And naturally, it wouldn’t be a proper episode without a little friendly fire. Marshall and Gunter trade jabs, take a few detours, and somehow still manage to keep the chaos on track. Mostly.

    34 min
  • Indian Runs

    Gunter kicks things off by quizzing Marshall on WNBA team names, which goes about as well as you'd expect. From there, the duo dives into Olympic nostalgia—specifically their favorite pastime of watching obscure sports and trying to figure out the rules just by watching. Spoiler: they failed.

    Marshall reveals an oddly deep knowledge (and slight obsession) with the biathlon, which raises more questions than answers. Meanwhile, both agree that Olympic surfing was a snooze-fest, despite hoping it would be exciting.

    It’s trivia, snow sports, and mild confusion—Olympic-level chaos, Northern Aggression style.

    30 min
  • The Swimsuit Area

    Marshall kicks off the episode with an unexpected but oddly heartfelt PSA about colonoscopies. Don’t worry—he still manages to make it weird.

    Things escalate quickly into a dual rant about short shorts. Marshall is particularly incensed by high-rise short shorts and claims to have applied math to explain why they’re wrong. Gunter’s not impressed—and she’s got her own beef with short shorts on men. No one is safe from their judgment.

    Marshall then takes a theological turn, declaring that God clearly doesn’t like sports… especially baseball. Why? He has his reasons. Bat flipping is disrespectful, and he has opinions.

    It’s anatomy, geometry, and divine intervention—just another day in the world of Northern Aggression.

    30 min
  • Just the Typ

    Marshall kicks things off by reliving the rage he felt toward his IT department the day before. Nothing new there—but yes, it comes with a full-throttle rant. He also tries to use a word fragment to sound smarter (or lazier?), but Gunter, unsurprisingly, has no clue what he’s trying to say.

    Somehow that leads into a discussion about women with a lot of facial work, and Marshall delivers his unsolicited opinions with all the subtlety of a leaf blower. Then they pivot to Tom Cruise, because obviously, and his height becomes the hot topic.

    Marshall then refers to his favorite Mexican restaurant—not by its actual name, but by the name he insists on using. It’s unclear how it got a rooftop bar or why anyone would need one there, and neither host can figure it out.

    Of course, it wouldn’t be a full Marshall spiral without commentary on women’s fashion at airports. Yes, he has thoughts. Yes, he shares them. Gunter survives.

    And finally, we learn about Marshall’s favorite TSA pat down he witnessed in Las Vegas. It’s somehow both absurd and on brand.

    From IT meltdowns to rooftop margaritas and questionable word usage, it’s another aggressively unpredictable episode.

    27 min
  • You Got Salsa In Your Eyes

    Marshall comes in hot with a family story, prompting Gunter to issue a full disclaimer about the “Marshall man” trait—apparently they’re all like this. Marshall claims the best way to sum up their year is by comparing county maps before and after, because of course he does.

    As always, there are callbacks to previous episodes, and Gunter calls Marshall out for not finishing his spreadsheet of podcast topics (shocking no one). We get an Elder Marshall story that explains a lot about why Marshall is the way he is. Then things take a turn when Marshall shares a coworker’s confession about photographing cremains in a mall parking lot. Gunter theorizes that Marshall somehow invites people to unload their strangest stories. He denies seeking it out… but admits it keeps happening.

    Marshall gets so worked up he has to switch to puppy talk to calm Finnegan, which spirals into a discussion about Finnegan’s government name. Marshall ranting in puppy voice is exactly as unhinged as it sounds.

    They also affirm their shared belief in therapy, recap Marshall’s surprisingly long history of bleach accidents, and reveal that none of those compare to his worst chemical incident—an unfortunate salsa-related event.

    Family lore, emotional support puppies, and condiment chaos. Just another episode of Northern Aggression.

    50 min
  • A Farmer Is Not A Proctologist

    Gunter kicks things off by calling Marshall demure—a word he doesn’t even know, which immediately sets the tone. Things only spiral from there. Marshall makes jokes about Whitney Houston, admits to “thinking” (which Gunter says is terrifying), and launches into a play-by-play of some insane driving he witnessed. Naturally, he blames all the chaos on Gunter being in the car—because weird stuff always happens when she’s around.

    Math inevitably sneaks in (mathlete alert), and Marshall manages to shade AI summaries while ranting about how nobody knows the rules of the road anymore. Gunter challenges his self-appointed title of “rules of the road expert,” and they compare their Driver’s Ed teachers—because why not? She also calls him out for religiously reading airplane safety cards, while Marshall insists his true superpower is finding errors in everything. He even wishes he could formally report the bugs and mistakes he discovers.

    Marshall then laments that society has given up on teaching people anything since smartphones took over, punctuating the rant with random historical facts (his specialty). Gunter admits she just uses him as her personal Google anyway.

    Then comes Theory #2 of the Day: the weird things Marshall started remembering during COVID lockdowns—Tiger King, Carole Baskin, Walmart cattle corrals, and how personal hygiene completely tanked. Which leads him to the baffling rise of “whole body deodorant.” In Marshall’s mind, maybe people just never went back to showering.

    It’s part history lesson, part hygiene critique, part road rage rant, and entirely Marshall and Gunter chaos.

    32 min
  • A Philosophical Framework

    Season 4 kicks off and Marshall is way too excited to be back. He promised Gunter this episode would be “crazy” because it’s built on a philosophical framework. Gunter’s already scared.

    It all starts with a new Tennessee law about what gender can be listed on a driver’s license and the ACLU’s lawsuit against the state. Marshall has a “solution” to the issue—but Gunter refuses to go along with his plan (unintentionally derailing it). From there, things go completely sideways.

    We find out Marshall once wanted to be a political candidate (try to picture it). He rants about torches, considers sponsoring a dirt track racing team (but decides their fans might not be Northern Aggression’s audience), and reminisces about the internet before Google.

    They dive into songs that could never be released today, and Marshall revives his favorite analogy—lip fillers are like hot dogs. Just when you think the “philosophical framework” is done, he takes on the age of consent, shares various international viewpoints, and somehow asks, “Was Mark Twain into lesbians?”

    By the end, you’ll have no idea how you got here—but you’ll be glad you came along.

    40 min
  • Bonus Episode: I've Never Worked That Room Before

    For the last bonus episode before Season 4, Marshall and Gunter are completely unprepared—no microphones, no plan, and somehow even less structure than usual. Marshall does what he does best and tries to crack jokes through the chaos. Gunter recounts yet another fall, but good news: no newly broken bones this time.

    Marshall also manages to get political—just not in the way you might expect—and yes, there are Civil War references, because of course there are. It’s scrappy, off-the-cuff, and the perfect chaotic sendoff before Season 4 kicks off.

    24 min

About The Northern Aggression Podcast

From the publisher's feed

The Northern Aggression Podcast isn’t for the easily offended. Hosted by Marshall, a sharp-tongued Chicagoan with zero filter, and Gunter, the Southern counterpart who keeps things just unhinged enough, this podcast takes on everything—and we mean everything. No topic is safe, no opinion is sugarcoated, and no one gets a free pass. If you can’t handle the heat, this ain’t the show for you.