Nikieta joins us to talk about growing up with a Narcissistic mother. Nikieta tells us about her childhood and what it was like growing up with one narcissistic parent and one loving parent. By the time that she was in middle school, she had started figuring out that her mother wasn’t like other moms. As an adult, she suffered from both anxiety and depression. She began examining her childhood and has begun to heal, while also helping others. We talk about topics such as: why nobody is talking about Narcissistic mothers and childhood trauma, the pressure that mothers feel to be perfect (especially when their relationship with their own mothers was unhealthy), “Mother Worship”, and why disengaging with a narcissist is the best option.
Topics Discussed:
(4:27) Growing up with a Narcissistic parent: Nikieta grew up having her feelings invalidated, feeling like a burden, and learning to just take care of herself.
(6:53) Nobody is talking about it: Nikieta decided that she wanted to write a book, but fearing that nobody would buy it because nobody knows who she is, she created an Instagram account and began building an audience. She realized that when she talked about having a narcissistic mother, that her posts really resonated with so many others. While many people have grown up with narcissistic parents, it is not often talked about, and makes people very uncomfortable.
(19:54) Dealing with a Narcissist: Nikieta shares more details about her childhood, and her relationship with her father and sister. Her father, who was in the Navy, never realized the full extent of how her mother was treating her and her sister when he wasn't home. As an adult, Nikieta had begun to distance herself from her mother, visiting only when necessary. She still wanted to be good to her, and before her mothers death, had not fully grasped that disconnecting completely would probably be for the best.
(28:40) Impact: Nikieta suffered from depression and anxiety, and it took a while for her to begin discovering the reasons behind it. Around Middle School, Nikeita had started to figure out that her mother was different from other moms. Nikieta tried to learn to forgive her mother, studied gratitude, faith, religion, and joy before realizing that she need to unpack her childhood trauma.
(36:43) Mother Worship: We talk about having our feelings minimized by comments like “But, she’s your mother!”, realizing that nobody had a fully magical childhood, and the idea that TV moms do not actually exist so we should stop trying to be like them. Nikieta shares about worrying that she is like her mother, and overcompensating as a parent.
(60:58) What can you do if you think your parent is/was a narcissist.
Resources:
Lisa Romano https://www.lisaaromano.com/
Dr. Ramani http://doctor-ramani.com/
About Nikieta:
She's made it her life's mission to help people find the voice that childhood trauma took from them. Through years of therapy, research, determination, and the support of her close circle, she's been able to endure all of this and create a life of joy that she loves living, and she wants to help as many people be able to do that as possible. She bares all her ugly in hopes of helping people feel like they can push through one more day and eventually see all the joy and peace that life has to offer.
Website: www.nikietalambert.com
Instagram: @nikietalambert
Help us upgrade our audio equipment!Subscribe to Patreon for exclusive content and perks.
Buy us a Coffee
Want to be a guest on the show?
You can reach us at
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: @nowwhat_podcast
Facebook: nowwhat.pod.community
