CW: Eating Disorder

 

In this episode, we talk to @curvyknockout, Mandy Reilly. She shares her story of battling disordered eating since childhood. Mandy remembers the first time she was ever called fat and the impact it had on her. She attended weight loss programs as a child, and later developed bulimia. Mandy takes us through the ups and downs of living with an eating disorder. We discuss using the word “Fat”, negative self-talk, and the power of sharing stories. 

 

Topics Discussed:

(0:00) Introductions

(3:10) Her childhood: Mandy recounts the first time she was ever called “Fat”, and the beginning of her eating disorder at the age of 7. Mandy started dieting, and joined a weight loss group when she was still in elementary school. She was an overachieving teen with a great sense of humour, but held herself back in many easy because she didn't want to draw attention to herself. Mandy went away to college for one year, but returned home early to help care for her ailing grandmother. 

(12:36) Bulimia: Mandy met her husband online, and got married young. She experienced her first bout of bulimia, just before finding out she was pregnant with her son. During this time, Mandy was at her thinnest physically but also at her least mentally stable. Mandy says that finding out she was pregnant saved her from her first bout with bulimia. After a series of traumatic events, Mandy found herself once again struggling with bulimia. Trying to find herself, and feeling out of control, bulimia became a coping strategy. Mandy tells us about the moment that she knew she had to quit for good. 

(46:44) The word “Fat”: Mandy is not trying to be the best version of herself in a healthy way, finding joy in movement, learning to be comfortable in her own skin, and empowering others. We talk about how much power we give words, and Mandy shares a story about somebody calling her fat online, and how she responds now. 

(58:14) Negative self-talk: We talk about how we are so critical of ourselves, and talk worse to ourselves than we would ever talk about somebody else. Mandy describes how far she has come, but still has moments of self- doubt along the way, as part of the human experience. We talk about finding people who support the real you and being authentic online. 

(1:07:30) Influence?: Mandy claims that she is not an influencer, but likes to inspire people to be the best version of themselves, by sharing her story to try helping others. 

 

 

About Mandy:

Mandy Reilly is a full-time working mom that runs on faith, Diet Coke and to-do lists - not necessarily in that order. She and her Jersey boy of almost 16 years, Blake, are parents to the handsomest of handfuls (Cristian, 13 going on 30). Armed with her late Sicilian mother's sarcasm and Mexican father's temper, this Enneagram 2W1 is always trying to make the pieces of her puzzle fit. Always in need of a margarita and a nap, she is constantly trying to figure out how to make the two happen simultaneously. After 30 years of being at war with her body, Mandy has realized she can be a masterpiece and a work in progress all at the same time.

 

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In this episode, Jenn shares her story of having a heart-attack completely out of the blue at 38 years old. This event challenged her beliefs, as a postpartum fitness coach, that she could be healthy at any size. Jenn struggled with feelings of shame about her body, and fought the urge to change everything about her lifestyle, while dealing with a medical system that ignores women and people with larger bodies. We talk about the messages we are given about our bodies, the power of social media, soft tummies, and shunning the idea that we need to get our pre-baby bodies back. 

Topics Discussed:

(0:00) Introductions

(2:23) Heart attack at 38: Jen describes what it was like having a heart attack at 38 years old. She tells us about her symptoms, and learning to advocate for herself, while being isolated during an ICU hospital stay due to COVID-19 protocols. 

(15:45) Women’s Health: Jenn chats with us about the discrimination that women face in the medical system from not having their symptoms taken seriously, to little research being done in women's health. We discuss the portrayal of heart attacks in the media, and also the blind faith that we put in doctors. 

(33:17) Shame: Jenn talks to us about the feelings of shame around her body that began to bubble up after her heart attack, and being sent the message that she had caused this because she was bigger. She describes the impact that medical professionals have when they believe that the solution for every health problem is to lose weight. Jenn had to resist the urge to try changing everything about her lifestyle, because she knows deep down this isn't true. 

(40:28) Health Neutrality: Jenn calls herself health neutral. She talks about people having tunnel vision around fitting ourselves into bodies that society deems good enough, when we should be doing what makes our bodies feel good. We talk about feeling betrayed by our bodies when they don't work the way we want them to. We also discuss looking in the mirror and not feeling good about our bodies, but learning to love them. 

(48:23) Social Media: Jenn talks about how we can change our social media habits, not just to prevent ourselves from seeing what we don't like, but using it to normalize normal bodies. 

(54:36) Soft Tummies: We receive so many messages about our bodies, and often feel the need to justify them, but we don't need to, and we don't need to get our pre-baby bodies back either. Exercising should be about doing what we love, not punishing ourselves. 

 

About Jenn:

Jenn Green is a born and raised Maritimer who moved to Toronto and fell in love with a human man, so she stayed and married him.

They have a 7 year old neurodiverse kid who has taught her more about Lego than she ever imagined.

Jenn helps Mamas get strong. She also teaches them to give the finger to postpartum 'bounce-back' culture.

In her spare time, she takes on projects she never completes and then feels really bad about it.

 

Jenn can be found at 

IG: thisbabymamabody

Website: www.babymamafitness.com

Want to be a guest on the show?

You can reach us at 

Email: [email protected]

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TW: Eating Disorders, Weight Loss

Liz shares her story of living with disordered eating. From where it all began, to restricting her caloric intake, abusing laxatives, and intense exercise, Liz’s account is honest and intimate. We include discussions around raising children in a society that celebrates thinness, getting help, and supporting loved ones that are struggling. While Liz is healthy now, she has learned not to say that it couldn’t happen again. 

 

Topics Discussed:

(0:00) Introductions

(3:49) How it all began: We start by talking about the way that thinness is celebrated in our society. Liz shares the story of the first time that she felt her body was different, and that her weight carried value.

(7:51) Disordered Eating: Liz began actively engaging in disordered eating as a freshman in highschool. Liz shares how her feelings of not fitting in, being uncomfortable in her own skin, led to her feeling like she was not good enough. Liz shares some of the behaviours that she engaged in, how her parents handled this once it was discovered, some of the symptoms she began to experience as a result of anorexia.

(16:25) College: When she began college, Liz felt that she was in a better place, but still considered her body an enemy. Once there she met others that alos engaged in disordered eating, and she began abusing diet pills and laxatives, restricting food, and doing aerobics for 2 hours each day as an Aerobics instructor.

(21:00) Putting it all Behind her : Liz joined a monthly support group for women with eating disorders, She then spent 15 years, having what she describes as the most normal relationship she's ever had with food. She was open with others about her struggles, and thought it was all behind her.

(24:00) Relapse:  Liz had a relapse in her 40s, spurred on after seeing photos of herself at a wedding. She began losing weight through dieting, using an unrealistic benchmark of daily intake of calories. Liz takes us through some of her behaviours, the mental toll that it was taking on her, and how people rewarded her for her weight loss. Able to see the impact that it was having on her and her family, Liz decided to get help.

(32:43) Getting help: Liz met with a clinician, and was told that she should take a leave of absence from work, and go to a partial in-hospital program. That terrified her, but she refused. Knowing that she needed to take back control, she instead began to meet with a therapist and a nutritionist weekly. Liz began setting and achieving small attainable goals with her nutritionist.

(39:43) Raising children: We discuss learning to talk about food in a positive way with our children. Not good food or bad food, just food. We talk about kids teasing one another, and dealing with sugar-obsessed kids, and raising children in a world that celebrates thin.

(44:58) Where She is Now: Liz talks about how humbling it was to experience anorexia again in her 40s, learning to notice how much better she feels when she is healthy, and those competing voices in her head. Liz also reveals whether or not she will ever share her experience with disordered eating with her children.

(1:00:11) Liz’s advice: Liz shares her advice for supporting those you think may be struggling with an eating disorder.

 

Resources:

Multi-tasking in Heels Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/40mMujdAPeDNFsZJaLWSVj

Scary Mommy article: https://www.scarymommy.com/anorexia-only-affects-teenage-girls-myths/

Physical (Tv show): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11828492/

Eating by the light of the moon: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0936077360?ref=exp_jen_hoffmeister__dp_vv_mw

MEDA: https://www.medainc.org/

 

About Liz:

 

Liz is a marketing exec, wife, and mom of 3 spirited (e.g., crazy) children. She loves yoga, true crime, and the Wu Tang Clan and is committed to a journey of self-improvement.

 

Want to be a guest on the show?

 

You can reach us at Email: [email protected]: @nowwhat_podcastFacebook: nowwhat.pod.

Emma has been on a self-help journey since she experienced burnout working Internationally in the non-profit sector. Listen as we talk with Emma, about her rock bottom moment, the self-help tools she has found useful, the decision to become a life coach and certified hypnotist. We also have a lengthy decision about negative self-talk, where it comes from, and how you can begin to love yourself.   

 

Topics Discussed:

(0:00) Introductions

(3:11)  Living in Thailand: Emma went to study abroad in Thailand. It didn’t turn out to be the trip she imagined in her dreams. She was lonely, and started journaling and self-reflecting. When she returned to the US, she didn't know what to do for work, and  her relationship was crumbling. 

(12:44) Living in India: Emma accepted a job working for a non-profit in India, she was working 

(16:46) What is burnout?: We talk about working in the non-profit sector and the idea that burning yourself out is just an expected part of the job. Emma knew she couldn’t continue this way, and wanted to start working for herself. 

(25:23) Hypnosis: Emma explains what hypnosis really is, how it has helped her, and why she decided to become a hypnotist. 

(37:03) Self- help tools: Emma shares some of the various self-help tools that she has tried and which have worked for her. 

(39:55) Self-Love and Negative Self-Talk: Emma shares where negative self-talk comes from, and how we begin to overcome it. We talk about learning to love ourselves, and shedding the negative self-talk.

 

Resources:

 

Super Soul Podcast 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/super-soul/id1264843400

 

Xo Higher Self with Bunny Michael’s https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/xo-higher-self/id1515528948 

 

 

 

About Emma:

Emma helps badass millennials break free of society’s shoulds and live by their own rules. As a coach and certified hypnotist, she’s obsessed with helping folks recondition their mind to align with their most authentic dreams and desires, and creating safe spaces for them to feel seen, heard, and validated.

 

www.Authenticityremastered.com

 

Want to be a guest on the show?

 

You can reach us at 

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: @nowwhat_podcast

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Allison suffered a traumatic brain injury with life-altering effects. She walks us through her story from the injury through coming to terms with her new ability levels, to now thriving in her work as a career coach. We discuss what it means to have an invisible disability, women in the workplace, learning to set boundaries, and so much more. 

 

Topics Discussed:

(2:25) The injury: Allison suffered a traumatic injury as a young working mother of 2. While some of the effects were evident right away, her symptoms continued to worsen. 

 

(9:49) Losing it all: Allison lost the ability to work, drive, cook, maintain her home, and care for her children, 

 

(13:00) Recovery: Through various therapies, Allison relearned many of the skills she’d lost including, how to cook, use a phone, and read. 

 

(21:09) “What am I going to do with my life?’: Allison started examining her limitations and strengths as she tried to figure out how she was going to work. 

 

(30:27) Career Coach: Allison talks a bout the decision to become a career coach, and she details some of the adaptive tools that she uses to get the job done.

 

(40:56) Women in the pandemic: Allison talks about the ways in which women in the workplace were inequitably affected by the pandemic, and how Moms at Work helped support many women who were being forced out of the workplace. 

 

(44:33) Setting boundaries for herself: Allison has learned that she needs to have boundaries for herself that takes her abilities into account. This includes working in pockets of time that work for her, and placing limits on social media. 

 

(51:44) Grieving the life she once had: Allison gets into more detail about how she processed her new reality, and shares a rock-bottom moment when her neurologist placed limits on what she can do. She discusses grieving the life she once had. 

 

(61:05) Invisible Disability: Allison explains some of the things that people have said to her about her disability, assumptions people make about her, and the idea that people feel comfortable around her because she doesn't look “disabled” 

 

(66:50) Saying No: We chat about women learning to say no, without explanation. 

Resources:

Moms at Work

www.Thisismomsatwork.com

 

Pay Transparency:

https://generationpr.ca/what-is-pay-transparency-canada/#:~:text=Pay%20transparency%20is%20exactly%20what,days%2C%20and%20paid%20sick%20days.

 

About Traumatic Brain Injury

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/traumatic-brain-injury/symptoms-causes/syc-20378557

 

"Fair Play" by Eve Rodsky

https://www.fairplaylife.com/

 

"And then it hit me" by Allison Venditti

https://careerlove.ca/2019/02/19/and-then-it-hit-me/

 

About Allison: 

Allison is a career coach, HR professional, advocate for working mothers and survivor of a traumatic brain injury.

 

Allison founded Moms at Work - Canada's first professional association for working mothers with the goal to create education, community and support for working mothers. We advocate for the change you want to see in the world.

 

When she isn't climbing with her boys aged 10, 8 and 3 she is attempting to write terrible science fiction, improve her star wars trivia and pretend to use the craft supplies she secretly hates.  She can be found on IG @thisismomsatwork

 

Want to be a guest on the show?

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Mary is an adoptee who spent over a decade searching for her biological family. She would eventually connect with her biological mother, but it was not the reunion she had hoped for. Then, Mary received a text message that would change the course of their relationship, and Mary’s world. She shares what it is like growing up adopted, questioning her self-identity, searching for her biological family, finding them, and and so much more. 

 

Topics Discussed:

(0:00) Introductions: Mary tells us about her background, and growing up as an adoptee

(4:00) The Search: Mary began to wonder about her biological mother when she was 18 years old, she began looking for her. She worked with her adoption agency, and used adoption search sites, and eventually found success but not the connection she had longed for.

(15:28) The Text Message: Mary received a text message from her biological mothers significant other informing her that her biological mother was very ill, and they didn't know if she was going to make it. Mary began speaking with her biological mother every day, getting to know her, and her half-brother with eve more surprises coming along the way.

(22:49) Every adoptee has their own journey: Mary talks about the variety of ways that being an adoptee has affected her throughout her life, the difficulties she faced during her search, having children of her own, and how she is healing. 

(29:38) Grief: Mary opens up about grieving the loss of her biological mother, and how the grief sneaks up when she least expects it. 

(37:53) Two weeks: Mary only got two weeks to get to know her biological mother before she passed away. Mary tells us what they talked about, how their relationship developed, and supporting her half-brother through that loss.  

(44:10) Adoptive parents: Mary talks about the support she received from her adoptive family in but how she also wanted to protect them as she searched for her biological family.

(48:54) Mary’s advice: Mary shares her best advice for supporting an adoptee through the journey to find and/or be reunified with their biological family. 

About Mary

Mary Herbert is an adoptee and busy mom of four. She has been searching for her biological family for over a decade and when the pandemic hit she also received a text that changed her world. The book she’s writing and services she’s now providing as an Adoptee Doula, an advocate and counselor to other adoptees that may be going through hardships, is a direct result to the past 18 months of her lifelong journey coming to a head. She lives to speak with other adoptees about being an adult adoptee and the trials and tribulations that may come with a realization that adoption is truly a big part of who we are.

 

Mary can be found @becauseadoptionWant to support the show?Buy Jen & Tesha a coffee

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Andrea was a teenage mother to two very young children when she was widowed at 20 years old. She shares her story of dealing with both grief and an ongoing police investigation, struggling to make ends meet, and sorting through her partner’s belongings years after his death. She describes herself as living tax refund to tax refund, and never feeling like she was in control of her finances. We talk about our spending habits, teaching our children about money, and how Andrea is now coaching others towards financial freedom. She shares what she thinks is the first step to taking control of your money.

Topics Discussed:

(0:00) Introductions

(1:57) Teen Mom: Andrea talks about having 2 children as a teenager. Talks about struggling to make ends meet, being on food stamps, and trying to figure out how to be adults along with her children’s father.

(5:58) Young Widow: When Andrea was 20 years old, her partner was killed. Andrea talks about being widowed, having to move back in with her mom while navigating an ongoing police investigation into his death. She describes having to keep going, putting her kids in all sorts of activities to keep busy, and trying to keep her kids from finding out how he died.

(11:01) Holding on: Andrea talks about being single for a long time, and feelings of guilt over starting to date again. Andrea held onto to her deceased partner's possessions for a long time before eventually beginning the process of sorting through his things.

(20:32) Living Tax Refund to Tax Refund: Andrea describes what it was like living with low income, and never feeling in control of her finances. With some coaching from her mother, Andrea started learning how to manage her finances.

(26:30) Beginning to Budget: Andrea and her husband started considering how they could take control of their finances, and start saving up for the things they really wanted from life. We discuss spending habits, and teaching our children about money, and how Andrea is saving for her wedding celebration.

(36:53) Financial Coaching: Andrea started sharing about budgeting on IG, and as her account and success grew, she began coaching others to figure out their own finances. She shares what she thinks is the most important step to taking control of your money.

Quotes:

Guest Bio:

My name is Andrea and I am a budgeting coach! I help women organize their finances so they can stop living paycheck to paycheck and start being confident in the way they handle their money. I was a teen parent with 2 kids by the age of 19, and then, unfortunately, widowed by the age of 20. I was on all kinds of government assistance, trying to make things work as a single parent. I was able to get my shit together and start saving for my future. I currently save 50% of my income every month and want to teach others how to do the same. My mission is to empower other women to take charge of their finances and let them know that it is possible for them to be financially free, no matter the circumstance.

Andrea can be followed @millennial_money_boss

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CW: Infant Loss

Episode Description:

Frannie, an English expat, discovered within weeks of moving to Canada that she would need to terminate her first pregnancy due to medical complications. From there, Frannie’s journey to define herself and find her purpose has taken many turns. We discuss how she is navigating the pandemic with 3 kids under 4 years old, how she has learned to invest in self-care as part of her mental health journey, and how she is finding purpose through her work.

Topics Discussed:

(0:00) Introductions

(1:57) Moving to Canada: When Frannie and her husband moved to Canada 6 years ago, they were pregnant with their first child. Within the first few weeks of living in Canada, she found out that the pregnancy would have to be terminated. Frannie talks about the difficulty of this coupled with being in a new country where she didn’t have much in-person support.

(15:32) 3 under 4 in a pandemic: Fast forward a few years, and Frannie now has 3 children under 5 years old. Her youngest having been born just before the pandemic began. Frannie shares about her mental health struggles, with a newborn in the beginning of the pandemic, worrying about money, not being able to work, not having help with the children.

(20:07) Feeling trapped and alone: Frannie began running everyday, investing in self-care, finding new ways to define herself, and set off on a quest to find her purpose, and a way to make money too.

(38:52) Care Club: Frannie talks about building her Care Club community, and what it is all about.

(51:33) What Frannie does for self-care: Frannie shares some of the things that she does for self-care, from cold dips to tapping.

Listen to the rest of this episode on out Patreon at patreon.com/nowwhatpod

Resources:

Care Club & Side Hustle to CEO www.frannieandco.com

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1594634726/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_GS75JX23P00PGN6X30PC

Wim Hof Method app

https://www.wimhofmethod.com/wim-hof-method-mobile-app

About Frannie:

Francesca (aka Frannie) is a transplanted Brit, mother of 4 (raising just 3 kids) here in Toronto. Since moving here she has experienced a lot of loss starting with losing her first son Phoenix just weeks into arriving in Canada. She has been learning how to navigate loss while having a lot children within a short space of time away from family support.

The pandemic left Frannie with 3 kids, including a newborn all under 3.5 years old. It was a scary time where she really felt close to breaking down. Instead she chose self development, a change of career and an intense focus on self- care which is at the forefront of her businesses. She shares more on how she used her experience to get through such a hard period of time.

You can follow more of what she is up to @frannieandco @shtoceo

Want to be a guest on the show?

You can reach us at

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: @nowwhat_podcast

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CW: Sexual Assault, Drug Abuse

Episode Description:

Ana shares the story of how she decided to change her life using small tangible steps after years of struggling following an 18 month deployment in Iraq. Ana talks about the effect that PTSD had on her and her relationships, the dissolution of her first marriage, a second marriage to someone in active opiate addiction, becoming a mother, and how she decided to take back control of her life.

Topics Discussed:

(0:00) Introductions

(2:50) Military Life: Ana talks about joining the US military, and her deployment in Iraq for 18 months. As somebody in a leadership role, Ana felt a huge responsibility for others. She began to compartmentalize her feelings, including those around a sexual assault that occurred while she was deployed.

(11:23) Coming home: Ana tells us what life was like when she returned home. She shared the impact of PTSD on her life and the dissolution of her first marriage.

(20:30) Second Marriage: Ana talks about what life was like being married to somebody in active opiate addiction, and how becoming a mother made her realize that something had to change.

(23:53) Making a plan: Ana decided to sketch out a plan for her future, taking control of her health and money, and deciding to leave her husband.

(28:32) Brain Dump: we discuss the concept of putting things down on paper to help clear your mind, and get the full picture.

(34:34) Feeling Safe: Ana talks about setting herself up to feel safe, and we each discuss the role feeling safe plays for us post-trauma.

(41:56) Where is she now: Ana talks about what she is doing now, being in a healthy relationship, and using what she’s learned to help others.

Quotes:

“ I felt very much out of control, and so I started writing down the things I could control”

“ I never want to feel like that again”

Guest Bio:

Mother, Partner, Soldier, Dreamer, Planner, Educator

I’m a US Army veteran, an entrepreneur and trainer. I’ve owned several brick and mortar businesses alongside my military service, and in 2012, I became a mom to my beautiful son.

At the time of my son’s birth, I was really struggling. Still serving in the Army, I was married to someone in the absolute throes of opiate addiction. I commuted three hours a day to work a job that didn’t pay me nearly what I was worth, and my bank account was drained as soon as my paycheck hit it. I knew something had to change, and fast.

Fast-forward a year later, and I was well on my way to freedom and fulfillment. I no longer felt trapped, anxious and stuck. In my search to get my life really on track, I decided I needed to find or create the tools- the real, tangible steps- to square away what I knew my best life could be.

I made the decision that I was going to change it all up. For me, and most importantly, for my son. I was going to make the life I wanted for myself.

So, I Began.

Ana can be followed on IG @anamckennaofficial

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CW: Pregnancy Loss

This week, we chat with Michelle, co-host of the “I Did Not Sign Up For This” Podcast, mother of 5, and widow. Michelle tells us about how she and her husband met, their beautiful life together, and how she is coping and raising 5 children alone after his death.

Topics Discussed:

(3:45) Their Beginning: Michelle shares how she and her husband met and fell in love.

(7:52) Starting a Family: Michelle shares the ups and downs of starting a family, including miscarriage, buying thier dream home and having 5 children.

(17:43) The News: Michelle takes us through finding out that her husband died, and the hours and days that followed.

(31:26) Life After the funeral: Michelle talks about the decision to move her family after her husband's death, going back to the workforce, getting counselling, dealing with her husband’s estate, and battling depression and anxiety.

(58:22) Grief-cation: Michelle talks about having somebody watch her kids, and going to a hotel for a few days, so that she could take a grief-cation.

(70:00) Life without him: Michelle talks about what life is like without her husband: the loneliness she experiences, holidays being hard, and feeling like a burden to others. Michelle also shares what she hopes anybody can learn from her story.

Quotes:

We can't compare traumas, nobody's winning.

Just do something

That grief and that pain is never going to go away

The help is there in the beginning, and then it goes away because everybody goes on with their life

Guest Bio:

Michelle (she/her) is a 37 year old widowed mom. She lives Alberta with her 5 children, where she works in banking. Michelle is also a co-host of the “I Did Not Sign Up For This” Podcast. Find them on IG @ididnotsignupforthis.podcast

Want to be a guest on the show?

You can reach us at

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