This week on The Nut Farm, Missy invented the Swiffer in fourth grade and never saw a dime. She also nearly bought every Sanrio FAO Schwarz blind box at the one Target in all of greater Phoenix that carries them, got the 1-in-25 silver chrome cinnamon roll with confetti, and bought the gold Pompompurin on eBay for $55 because she is not leaving it to chance.

The farmers also get into:

• K-pop: Missy is getting into it, Payton dances to Hats Eye, the community is very Pokémon-adjacent

• The man on IG who didn’t understand how paternity works and whose wife had to walk him through it

• Ace Ventura Pet Detective as the official fall aesthetic — and the vintage 28 shirt Gretchen needs to recreate

• Gretchen and Willa at the Mercury WNBA 30th anniversary game: Cheryl Miller, the hair, the arena smell, and the trampoline dunk team that causes anxiety

• The Haus of GS TV media blitz: Fox 10 Monday, Move the Needle pod Tuesday at Craft 64, CW7 two-banger Wednesday

• Sobriety math: $20 a day, $6,700 a year, $67,000 over ten years, and not drinking to get drunk anymore

• The cordless curling iron that doesn’t exist yet: The Thruster 3000

• A bondage rope-tying event invitation that was declined with love and zero judgment & trusting the thrust

• Gucci platform loafers on Posh, Balenciaga thigh-highs going to consignment, and a Sean Kemp rookie card

• Sawyer’s pearl of wisdom: Be safe & listen to your parents. He also confirms peanut M&Ms are healthy.

Get in on the ground floor. New episode out now.

This week on The Nut Farm, Missy told a seven-year-old girl to scram in a Chandler Mall bathroom.  The girl did not scram.  She came closer.  She may have followed them to the parking lot. Gretchen kept asking if she was a ghost.  They are not okay.

The farmers also get into:

She told her to scram. She did not scram. New episode out now.

This week on The Nut Farm, Missy is running on no sleep and zero regrets. She and her mom stood outside a Sam’s Club in deep Phoenix at 6am, in a sewage smell, for hours, in hopes of scoring the Pokémon Ascended Heroes exclusive drop. They did not score. Her dad did. At Ace Hardware. While fixing a sprinkler.

The farmers also get into:

Ace Hardware Pokémon. New episode out now.

This week on The Nut Farm, Gretchen just made her live TV debut for G Soul on CW7, The Daily Mix and she is still running on adrenaline. Missy felt like Kris Jenner watching from the sideline with an imaginary camcorder.

The farmers get into:

- Gretchen’s first on-camera technique: “fuck it, and also I love a good story if it goes wrong”

- The man who followed Missy to her car in the Walmart parking lot to ask if they could be friends

- Conor McGregor trying a fancy kick and blowing his own leg in front of everyone who paid $1,500 to be there

- Fishing in a dinghy during a lightning storm because a hillbilly deckhand with buck teeth said that’s when the fishing is best

- Eli pulling a $600 Team Rocket Mewtwo card out of a random Pokémon tin - Missy screaming alone in her car for 30 Mississippi and feeling completely transformed

- Gretchen’s shower cry, and why sometimes you just have to let yourself

- The shine and the rot — and why you need both

Grip it and rip it farmers!

This week on The Nut Farm, Missy is wearing the Billie Eilish Walmart pajama shirt she slept in and thinks she has developed a shellfish allergy all of a sudden. Steve walked into the surprise birthday dinner without the birthday girl (Gretchen) and had to be sent back out.

The farmers get into:

• Microblading: the scalpel, the crackle, and the sound that almost made both of them walk out

• The birthday surprise dinner — the private room, the curtain, Adam filming from the roof like paparazzi, and Missy's increasingly unhinged cover story.

• The Jordan card bouquet: 14 Michael Jordan cards tucked into baby's breath and eucalyptus like a dozen roses

• The seafood tower incident and a possible new shellfish allergy • DIY nail art, salon boycotts, and the flamingo theory of losing your pink after babies • Taylor Swift's wedding: a thousand guests, zero leaked photos, one embroidered handkerchief replica already on eBay

• Leo DiCaprio becoming Jack Nicholson

• Dennis Rodman's separate house from his own family

• Elbow-gate poll results: 316 votes, "freak accident" wins, nobody voted "sure did"

• Whatnot, Pirate Ship, Melmac dishware, and a six-year-old Gabapentin pill Steve was about to throw away

*** Excuse the small sound issues towards the end of the EPI.  Wifi was being annoying. ***

This week on The Nut Farm, Gretchen (Timmy) and Missy (Bunny) are back with a full load of life updates — and it’s a lot. The farmers get into:

• Anti-car-sick glasses that look like Where’s Waldo and may actually work

• Otis the dog, who peed on Steve’s side of the bed in an act of deliberate dominance

• The pillow situation — it’s more complicated than you think • Eli’s street sale: Pokémon cards, squishies, zero customers, full defeat

• Gretchen’s childhood snow cone empire at the Arizona bus station

• Vegas: PopMart, arcade jackpots, and a front-row seat at a Star Wars burlesque show

• The man next to Adam who said “May the force be with you” to the usher and then man-spread the entire show

• Princess Leia and Jabba the Hutt doing a number to Big Poppa two feet from Missy’s face

• Idaho: a gondola evacuation in a lightning storm, 12 passes at a speedometer sign, and the Great Power Walking Incident

• The moment Gretchen may or may not have elbowed J.R. into the pavement mid-race

• A PR win, a G Soul Co. article, and a meeting where nobody mentioned the kale

• The birthday girl who still believes the fireworks are hers

Watch the footage. Drop your guess in the comments. Did she throw an elbow or didn’t she?

This week on The Nut Farm, Gretchen and Missy take a tour through thirty years of American chaos — starting with Lorena Bobbitt’s Ginsu knife, stopping at the OJ verdict, swinging past Michael Jackson’s black suitcase and Marilyn Monroe’s suspiciously broken window, and somehow ending at a German man’s Vegas mansion for plus-size women and an eBay Live Pokémon card addiction.

Along the way:

Come for the true crime. Stay for the breathwork. Leave with a lot of questions about Michael Jackson.

This week on The Nut Farm, Gretchen returns from vacation with beach-bronzed energy. She and Missy chat about NBA Finals opinions, World Cup commentary, and a surprisingly deep realization inspired by Jaws.

This week on The Nut Farm, Gretchen and Missy survive their daughters’ first sleepover, (including a prank-call scandal involving McDonald’s), debate casino strategy, celebrate organizational breakthroughs, and accidentally invent a new life philosophy: Full Potato.

This week on The Nut Farm, Gretchen and Missy accidentally stumble into one of their most thoughtful conversations yet.