This week The TOGA Boys are back in town, the original hosts, baybee. The Boys are back with an announcement. But before that, a weird self-indulgent show with a twist. It's The White Elephant Special, and it's all downhill from here.

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First floor, men's fashions circa 1994

Second floor: liars, diagonal parkers, and the person who designed CVS receipts

Third fl- oh? The music? It's specially curated by The TOGA Bois.

They're way, way lower. This is, in fact, The Only Good Album for taking the elevator to Hell.

Third floor, people who joke about Agile frameworks and podcasts listeners. This is your floor.

This week The Bois are joined by new Co-Host, not just guest, Linden Eldredge and the topic is dogs. Man's best friend. The constant, furry companion. Little poop factories with legs. Sleepy, floppy eared friends. And for some reason they can all understand language for a day. So do we try to talk to them as equals and reach a common understanding? hahahah no, we're going to play music for them! And most of that music is depressing. This is TOGA, after all. Now, where's the ball? Where's the ball? Whersball? Whersball? GO GIT IT

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This week, love is in the air and The Bois are staring into the middle distance. This text, is it an invitation? A courtesy? A billet-doux? A misfire? Cupid's arrow has struck us and the arrowhead has landed squarely on the panic button in our brains as we Misinterpret this Valentine's Day Text.

SPACE. The final frontier. Of getting freaky. This week, The Boys are going where no man has gone before into the darkest depths of unknown space. Join us as we penetrate the unknown wonders of the cosmos and explore the many holes in our understanding of our great astral womb. We'll pound a path into the dark fantastic realms of the cosmic wonderland and spread the seeds of discovery all around. With boners.

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This week the TOGA Boys gaze into the future. About 70 years or so into the future, to be imprecise. What will music sound like when we're 100 years old? Frankly, we don't care. Because the music we'll be blasting when we turn 100 has already been made, apparently. Joined again by Andy (who did not bring an album out of protest for something or other), the Boys +1 are looking for The Only Good Album for throwing a banger at the retirement community for your 100th birthday.

Sorry about the audio quality, we're old!

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​We got a convoy going, yesiree, and we're hurtling down that lonesome highway. Just The TOGA Boys, except David is Chase from So Long, Stargazer, doing our best to stay awake after this incredibly long drive and not careen directly off of a cliff and into the sea. That's what happened to David. How he found a cliff in Ohio is anyone's guess. Let alone a cliff by the sea. Ohio is very landlocked-look that's not important. We need to stay awake. Hello. This is a podcast. We got a convoy going, yesiree

So Long, Stargazer:

solongstargazer.com facebook.com/solongstargazer instagram.com/solongstargazer

The TOGA Boys have had a vision of the future. It's a glorious future filled with love, freedom, and you giving us all of your money and not asking questions. It's a world of divine inspiration, a world of family, and a world where you seriously give us a lot of money. Because the divinity thing said you should so do it. Because this is a family. Not a cult, that's - that's those other guys.

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Includes samples from the following, all used to critique and analyze the music on their respective albums

"D.D.," "Initiation," "Outside" off of the album Echoes of Silence by The Weeknd

"Pulse of the Maggots," "Opium of the People," off of the album Vol. 3 The Subliminal Verses by Slipknot

"If It's True," "Why We Build The Wall," "I Raise My Cup To Him," off of the album Hadestown by Anaïs Mitchell

"Organ Tuning, Surgery," "March 6th 2003," "Portland, Oregon part one," off of the album May 23, 2007 by The Kallikak Family

This week the Boys receive a strange capsule from the future. Strange because not only is it from the future, but also it's a capsule. Who stores, why would anyone store anything large in a capsule. The future is weird. Either way, contained in the weird capsule was an audio file. It seems like it's all four of the Boys from the (somewhat) distant future. And they've been chosen to decide the inductees for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Clearly, something has gone terrible wrong. Good thing Andrew is definitely a human.

Sorry for David's audio!

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Samples:

https://freesound.org/people/squeakyballoon/sounds/211428/

LIVE from cloudy and miserable Matt's Basement, it's the The Only Good Awards Show 2017! All the stars are out tonight, but it's winter in the midwest so you'll just have to take my word for it, what with all the clouds and such. Anyway, the Boys are gathered to dish out the TOGAS to those artists and albums most deserving of the least respected award in music. Who sweeps the awards? Who goes home empty-handed? You'll have to listen to find out!

​Apologies for Andrew's audio, we had some technical issues and the fix was not very good. But what better a metaphor than horrible audio issues for the year-end summary show?