The Open Nesters

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we delve into the transformative journey of couples as they transition from traditional empty nesting to a more expansive and vibrant phase, which we call open nesting. I’m excited to introduce Linda and Charlie Bloom, seasoned social workers, educators, and authors with a wealth of experience in nurturing deeper relationships. Married since 1972, they bring to our discussion profound insights gleaned from their enduring bond and extensive professional background.

[Tessa] We begin by exploring the unique challenges that couples face as children leave home, often leading to the opportunity for growth and deeper connection. Linda articulates that this life stage presents a powerful chance to re-evaluate what couples truly want from their relationships, allowing them to focus on desires and dreams that may have been sidelined during the years of child-rearing. This period offers the potential for couples to rethink their commitments and desires, alongside the wisdom to engage in meaningful and heartfelt conversations that have long been postponed.

Charlie adds that while many couples come to him and Linda expressing communication problems, they soon discover that the underlying issue is often one of honesty—both with themselves and their partners. It’s not merely about discussions; it’s about sincerely understanding personal needs and desires and then honestly articulating these to one another. They emphasize the importance of creating space for self-reflection and learning about one’s own needs before engaging in potentially challenging discussions with a partner.

Linda and Charlie further elaborate on how their approach, articulated in their book “An End to Arguing,” challenges couples to consider their competing commitments. They note that the fear of disrupting the status quo in a relationship can often prevent partners from addressing significant feelings and desires. Instead of merely putting a band-aid on issues, they encourage couples to think creatively about their relationship structure, urging them to engage in “enlightened self-interest.” This means recognizing that personal happiness often flourishes when both partners are genuinely fulfilled—in both individual pursuits and shared experiences.

A significant theme of our conversation is the concept of timeouts and separations—not as a sign of failure but as an essential tool for nurturing individual growth and relationship health. By taking intentional breaks, couples can reset the narrative of their relationship, gathering clarity about their own needs before re-engaging with each other. We discuss the transformative power of these moments, where partners can reflect, recharge, and ultimately come back together with renewed perspectives.

As we navigate further into their experiences, we touch on the complexities that often arise when couples start to explore new avenues of intimacy and connection. This venture may involve redefining boundaries or embracing greater openness in relationships. Linda and Charlie share that staying connected means being willing to have ongoing conversations and being brutally honest about discomforts—elements that are surprisingly underemphasized in modern partnerships.

By the end of our discussion, Linda highlights a powerful question for couples at this stage: “What do you want to do with your one wild and precious life?” This sentiment encapsulates the essence of our conversation—encouraging couples to dream boldly and to communicate those dreams, transforming the “open nesting” phase into a rewarding adventure filled with shared exploration and renewed intimacy.

For those looking to deepen their relationships further, Linda and Charlie will be leading workshops at Kripalu, where they empower couples to engage in transformative learning, focusing on love, sex, and intimacy. Our audience is encouraged to lean into these experiences, open their minds and hearts, and embrace the limitless possibilities of their relationships during this exciting chapter of life. For more details, listeners can visit bloomwork.com for further resources and upcoming workshops.

This dynamic episode invites listeners to rethink their relationships and embrace the open-nesting philosophy, where they can cultivate new adventures together, reignite passions, and continue to grow—both individually and as partners.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

[Tessa] In this sampler episode of Open Nesters, Tessa and Amir explore how couples can rekindle intimacy and redefine relationships as children leave home, sharing strategies and real-life insights for navigating this transformative phase. It’s a Love Relationship & Sexuality Sampler.

In this special sampler episode of the Open Nesters podcast, we take a reflective journey through our four seasons, focusing on the most impactful themes that resonate with our listeners — relationships, love, and sexuality. As Tessa and Amir, we dive into the transformative phase of life when children leave the nest, urging couples to rekindle their connections and explore the evolving dynamics of intimacy.

Drawing on insights from renowned voices in this space, we emphasize the significance of prioritizing our relationships as we transition into this new chapter, often termed “Act 3.” We acknowledge that the years dedicated to raising children often eclipse the relationship we have with our partner, leading to a rediscovery of desires and new opportunities for connection. Our conversations encourage reflection on how couples can thrive and embrace this period for personal growth and reinvention, rather than viewing it solely as a goodbye to the past.

This episode features curated snippets from our most cherished conversations. We discuss practical strategies for rekindling passion and exploring intimacy, whether monogamous or non-monogamous.

Furthermore, we emphasize the crucial role of communication in fostering a vibrant partnership, showcasing various approaches to ensure that both partners feel heard and valued.

Real-life accounts from couples provide a rich tapestry of experiences that resonate with the realities of our audience. We hear from experts who share invaluable tips on navigating intimacy and the powerful language of consent, drawing insights from diverse lifestyles that span from traditional monogamy to the realms of polyamory and relationship anarchy. Each story illuminates the paths couples can take, paving the way for a deeper understanding of themselves and their partners.

As we touch upon themes of growth through challenges such as divorce, the importance of redefining relationships becomes even more apparent. Our guests share their journeys of transformation, revealing how maintaining connections — even post-separation — can lead to fulfilling co-parenting and romantic partnerships. We explore the concept of creating new relationship dynamics and boundaries, showing that love can evolve in unexpected and beautiful ways.

We invite listeners to reflect on their own relationship stories, whether embarking on new romantic ventures or seeking to deepen existing bonds. Engaging with our community, we encourage open dialogue about desires, boundaries, and the richness of emotional connection. The conversations span various personal insights and expert recommendations, such as expanding the definition of what intimacy can mean as we age, and learning to embrace the evolving landscape of pleasure and connection.

This sampler serves as a portal into a world where love, romance, and sexuality flourish at every stage of life, reminding us that as we age, the capacity for passion and profound connections only grows. We urge listeners to explore our extensive library of past episodes where these topics are discussed in depth, offering fresh perspectives on how to navigate this dynamic phase of life.

Join us as we embark on our fifth season, diving deeper into the nuances of love and relationships. We encourage our audience to connect with us and share their thoughts and experiences, fostering a community that thrives on open conversations about living fully in these vital years. Let’s explore how to create a meaningful, exciting journey through love and intimacy, even as we confidently step into new chapters of life.

[0:12] Hi, this is Tessa. And this is Amir. And we’re so excited to bring you this special sampler episode of the Open Nesters podcast.

[0:20] Over the past four seasons of our podcast, we realized that the most popular episode were about relationship. That is the main reason we were ranked in the top 15 relationship podcast in the country. You know, Amir, that Esther Perel always says, the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. And that’s why this category includes love, romance, sexuality for individuals and couples, as well as our sensuality, our evolving sexual aging as we enter Act 3 of our lives. You know, Tessa, we talk about it so many times. This stage of life, when the kids left the nest, couples really face a big, big transition. One that really calls for a fresh look at their relationship and, I guess, desires and all the opportunities ahead. Right. It’s time to focus on ourselves again and how we communicate and how we become self-expressed and the possibilities that Act 3 offers us in a way of reinvention and where we can actually flourish in surprising and fun ways. You know, for so many of us, many years have spent raising children.

[1:38] We pour our love to them, devotion. That often, everything is centered about the kids’ needs, right? Right. So that’s why this stage is so important around relationships. What are we doing to create something that’s more vibrant in our lives, more fulfilling and authentic to who we are now and not just who we’ve been? So, that’s why Tessa and I thought about providing you a simpler episode that dives into…

[2:07] The guts to the hearts of this transitional phase. And we’re really going to give you some snippets from some of our most popular and compelling episode. So together, we’re going to explore how you can reignite passion and connection, how couples can rediscover their attraction to one another and rekindle the spark that brought them together for the first place, right? And that could be navigating all this intimacy and deepening intimacy, whether it’s monogamous or non-monogamous, as we kind of expand who we are. And a big, big subject matter of our episodes were sexuality and aging, you know, especially for women, Tessa. Well, we have to break a lot of the taboos and celebrate our lives and our desires and allow ourselves to slow down and be so much more accepting of how we feel things. And as we age, I feel it’s such an important area for us to actually love that side of ourselves even more.

[3:12] And you know, there are some other episodes that tell us how couples have built stronger communication and provide some practical tips for fostering honest and open conversation and communication for their needs and boundaries. And so interesting about boundaries, because you can discuss that even more. But a lot of that consent language came from the kink world, and yet there are all these alternative lifestyles that we’ve been learning about, exploring how pleasure and connection and unconventional paths kind of brace us for how we make choices about our erotic themes. Yes. So this is less about what we think and what our lifestyle is, and more from the experts and the couples we bring you on these episodes. You know, we all go through a lot of change. Divorce, reinvention is a tough one. And we do discuss this in a way that we share highlights of how people have embraced what they are going through, including the challenges and choices they’ve made. But there’s so much incredible growth that people talk about what they experience while they go through that. And whether you are just a brand new open nester or a veteran open nester.

[4:26] This sampler episode will introduce you to the episodes that may be more relevant to your situation and lifestyle. So if you’re on the road or you want to just grab a cup of coffee or tea or glass of wine, settle in and explore with us how to thrive in love,

[4:41] romance, and sexuality as open nesters. Listen to Robin Vogel from episode 160.

[4:49] Music.

[4:54] That people come to couples therapy at two main junctures in their lives. And one of them is when the kids are moving out, growing up, moving out, moving on, and they’re becoming empty nesters or open nesters, and they haven’t looked at each other in years. You know, for those listening that are parents, you know how easy it is to just put all of our attention on our children. I did the same thing. And next thing you know, you’re like, oh, who’s that guy in the other room? Or, you know, who’s that woman? And so much has changed over time, you know, because we’re all growing, hopefully, you know, as our kids grow. And so it’s a very common time for people to come to see a couple’s therapist. So many, many, many couples that came through the doors were open nesters. One of the extras, because I also have a background in Tantra. So my background is pretty eclectic and unique. I have, you know, I’m a psychotherapist. I’ve studied tantra for years and years, yoga, meditation.

[5:57] One of the things I would have couples do in the very beginning is like, take a breath and look at each other, eye contact face to face, because people stop looking at each other. And once you look at each other and are able to, and it’s not that easy all the time, but if you are able to eventually drop in to your body, to your heart, soften your face, soften your gaze, like stop holding all the tension in the body. There’s this opening that happens.

[6:23] Here’s a way that Carrie and Steve Cardinal in episode 112 cast their spell to become beloved. Thing that’s been really fun for us, like using things that are nearby to make moments more fun, like have the playlist going when we make dinner and, you know, light the candles because why not? They’re sitting there anyway and you know just to kind of take little day-to-day moments and make them more playful and make them more fun and so I’ve been around the entertainment industry my whole life and the entertainment industry they cast a spell all the time you go to Disneyland and they cast a spell you go to the market and they cast a spell because that’s just what we’re used to and that’s just something that’s been ingrained in me and I bring to Carrie of and i And she, you know, completely embraces it because you could have a partner who would just put their hands up and go, no, I don’t want to cast a spell. I don’t want to put on the candles. I don’t want to go for a drive at eight o’clock at night and check out the, you know, the Christmas lights around the area. But once you cast a spell, I think people will hitch with their breath and go, that was awesome. Yeah.

[7:34] Throughout our many Open Nesters episodes, we have interviewed couples that develop their own great communication styles. You can certainly develop your own. Here is one by Sujay and Joe.

[7:47] Teaching one of their practices on episode 146. One that we do in that is a fear and desire practice where you take turns asking each other, what are you really afraid of? What do you really want? And why do you love me? and you do that for five minutes and then you switch and it’s this tool it’s an emotional housekeeping tool we do it we do it a lot when there’s maybe a little a little noise in the atmosphere like something’s up and I don’t even know what it is or maybe you seem a little off and let’s let’s just take a minute to drop in and feel what it is and this container these practices are scripts there’s a timer you don’t have to worry about getting bogged down into some kind of repetitive familiar argument or like five minutes now thank you now switch five minutes and thank you now switch and so that tightness is really helpful and like all good communication practices where you are able to just talk without worrying about the person coming in and defending or responding it just allows you to go deeper and kind of surprise yourself with what’s there too so i think all good communication practices have that at their core of just like letting someone talk and explore without worrying about what the response is going to be.

[9:06] Many of our listeners are divorcees and widows. And while there are so many different choices here in our lives, whether you’re a couple or an individual, ranging from enjoying your sexuality in new ways to living apart or together, there are so many ways and styles to grow your intimacy, even not in a full partnership.

[9:27] On episode 58, Amanda Ananda, who is a Tantra expert, talks about this idea of how we can get out of our busy brains and into our bodies. We have been indoctrinated that the mind is, you know, the thing that we need to feed and build and we get paid more money with the better our minds work, right? And unfortunately, that is not true at all for relationships and sex.

[9:54] To some degree, obviously, thinking things through and being able to communicate, of course. But ultimately, the relationships is meeting in the field of the heart. And to be able to feel one another and to be present with one another and to be present, we need to get rid of our mind, basically. We need to put it in the backseat of the car and we need to allow the heart to take the lead. And so tantra is an amazing practice that supports us in coming into our body, coming into more of our sensation, coming into more of what our heart feels. And as Anne Moore of episode 172 so excitedly explains to us, we could stay juicy as we grow older in our sexual beings. I work a lot with empty nester couples. And a lot of what I encourage is for sex as we age to look at expanding your definition of sex. So the erotic blueprints are a really good way to do that. That’s one of the modalities that I use. It just expands the definition of sex. Look at changing your polarity in giving and receiving, especially for cis-hetero couples. It’s so often that the man is the designated giver and the woman is the designated receiver. And, um.

[11:07] Switch that up. What happens if the woman becomes the powerful giver and maybe even the penetrator? Anal sex. I’m always introducing anal sex. Like, what if we do that?

[11:17] Because it just opens this whole world of power play and being in a really different

[11:24] relationship with each other. That creates novelty all by itself. Wow. And kink, going big into kink. And for me… So which kinds of kink do you help people find their kink? Yeah, well, I’m a lot about shibari. I love shibari and rope bondage because it can be used in so many different ways. Like how? Oh, my goodness. So first of all, just being bound is a deeply down-regulating experience for most bodies. It’s like swaddling a baby in a way. And so just the discovery that, oh, my gosh, if I’m wrapped with ropes, I actually don’t feel trapped. I feel held. I feel loved. I feel really calm. So just that. And then it can be used as a sensual tool. It can be used to explore the places where we do feel trapped. It can be used in just really fun kinky power play of domination and submission and playing out all our shadow stuff it’s like oh i have you tied up what do I want to do with your body now or gosh I’m all tied up now I have to receive the pleasure because I can’t i just can’t do anything about it all these things you just gave us so much to think about in two in one minute.

[12:43] So it’s so great. And I’ll add that as an older woman stepping into my dom, I did not actually recognize that this is almost as much of a fetish in our society as is like the silver fox, like an older woman domed.

[13:00] Femdom is so in demand i have so many younger men approaching me it’s so fun women develop trust when a man holds safe space for them no matter what the sexual relationship is as described by mike from episode 54 that men and women can actually start to go down this path of being very connected in their lovemaking is that they take on the archetypes. And the archetypes would be, so Lori, I regard her as the goddess. When we’re making love, she is the goddess to me. And to her, I am the shaman. I’m the one that’s holding the space. I’m the one that’s creating the magic and being present and holding safety for her and taking her along on this ride that her body wants me to take her on. What we actually learned along the journey is that we can’t really define the sexuality the way we did when we were younger. And we learned that we don’t have to take society’s definition of what love and sexuality look like, even in the most obvious ways, as Barbara Carellis explains on episode 18. But a lot of people need to give up this penis and vagina a sex as the only way to have sex. And if it’s not working, we don’t have a sex life. Give it up. That is one way to have sex out of thousands.

[14:28] Just give it up. In fact, stop doing it. If it’s not fun, stop doing it.

[14:34] Because you’ve probably done that for 30 years. You’re bored. Who wouldn’t be? During the four years of the Open Nesters podcast, we have interviewed so many experts on the topics of relationships. Dr. Tommy Nelson was one of them. She’s a world-renowned sex therapist and author of the book Open Monogamy.

[14:57] Hear her thoughts about monogamy from episode 57. That monogamy is not synonymous with morality. You know, it’s not like, okay, if I never sleep with anyone else, then we have, we’ve obeyed our promise to each other. The promise is really that we’re going to be really honest. And that’s what gives our relationship integrity. That’s the promise. So that in that way, you don’t have to trade your partner in for someone else. You know, like maybe there’s nothing wrong with your relationship. If there’s something difficult, maybe it’s the agreement that has to be changed, not your partner that has to be changed. As we age, we realize that we do have a choice of the way we frame our relationships and the boundaries we create and the way we want to make choices in our relationships. Here’s a couple, and Seth of that couple talks about his reframing on episode 49. Yeah. And I think some of that reframing is figuring out what is it that’s real here that’s truly important? And what is it that we’re kind of arbitrarily putting into things? The expectations that we put in there because, well, we see other people do it. We saw our parents do it. And therefore, that’s the way relationships are supposed to be.

[16:12] So we throw in these rules and then get disappointed and resentful when other people don’t meet them without really understanding what the rules we’re actually doing to begin with. Tessa, I don’t think that it’s always possible to reframe and create rules for every relationship. Right. Sometimes people do break up, and that is why gray divorce is one of the highest rates of divorce in the United States, is when people get older, they have to figure out the best way to do that. And Robin Vogel, actually from episode 160, does discuss a really interesting way to not have a complete breakdown. Restraint, a lot of, like I said, contraction, a lot of holding in of feelings and tension. And so my entire life has been slowly but surely opening, opening, opening to a much, much, much, much greater perspective, much broader perspective.

[17:09] Much more infinite, again, perspective on life. And that included going through a marriage and a divorce. I’m so grateful for my ex-husband and the father of my two children, who are amazing. And my vision when we were separating was to stay in very good connection and communication and to create another version of our relationship.

[17:39] Now, I definitely will say like my vision was to stay a lot more connected. He definitely needed some space and time and wasn’t necessarily ready to like jump back in and, you know, be friends. But we always, always prioritized our connection and our connection with our children. And one of the really unique things that we did that people find interesting and very different is that we were in therapy, getting support, obviously, when the marriage was starting to get shaky. And we stayed with those therapists. It was a team of two through our separation and divorce process.

[18:28] Once we got through that, we kept seeing that couple for therapy and support. And then when he met his now life partner, she joined us. And so the three of us did sessions regularly with this couple. There were five of us in the room.

[18:47] And that just, for me, that just helped create the best co-parenting relationship on the planet. Tessa, we have noticed with our guests that as they get to this open nester stage, they define and redefine the relationship. Some of them are actually staying together but living apart. Even if they’re monogamous or if they’re divorced. So here’s Vicki Larson from episode 16. I knew I didn’t really want to get married again. I didn’t see a reason to marry again. But I certainly… Want a romantic partner. I’m one of those kind of gals who enjoys that. But I don’t want him around 24-7.

[19:30] Amir and I have made our own lifestyle choices around our relationship. And we began by dipping into swinging and some then friends with benefit. And we talk about that a lot on our podcast if you want to tune into any of our episodes we did together. It certainly have been an evolving journey. And now we are in full polyamorous relationship, where Tessa and I are primary partners to each other. Renowned polyamorous author and therapist Jessica Fern of a Bible of a book, which is called Poly Secure, and she has a new one out called Poly Wise. She helped Amir and I understand attachment theory. And even though that’s too elaborate to have as a clip here. She is on episode 108, if you’d like to listen to it. And here she talks about love in all of its forms. Like the two of you are saying, you know, we are hierarchical, and I assume anyone who comes into the picture of your life knows, you know, they’re not going to get as much maybe time or attention or decision-making rights, right? They’re not going to share resources the same way.

[20:35] And then people can be completely relationship anarchy, which would be, it’s not even prioritizing romantic or sexual connections, right? There might be like, my friendships can be just or more important than a relationship that’s romantic or sexual, right?

[20:51] Relationship fluidity also can go through all different kinds of, you know, labels and styles. But yeah, a lot of people practice non-hierarchical polyamory, which is sort of saying that everyone has sort of an equal seat at the table.

[21:08] Steve and Shane, from an upcoming episode, 179, discussed their relationship late in life.

[21:15] And relationship and first love can happen in Act 3, right? Even if it’s not first love, the idea that love happens again, and that dating is not as dismal as we have to make it, and they’re even long distance. So anything is possible when you listen to this. So there’s moments where I can get into my neurotic self, you know, but I really trust that Steve’s not trying to get away from me and had this weird belief as that started as a teenager that people don’t want to give me what I want and that I’m going to have to like manipulate or say it in a certain way or pick the perfect moment. And that doesn’t exist anymore. And also the feeling of being rejected, like we’re present the whole way. So it’s not like I have this one moment to ask for what I want. I truly loved CJ and Linwood when we interview them, especially when they talk about their pleasure span on episode 170. I just married him last year. We’re later in life. And I’m not ready to let that go. And I don’t like the idea. I found myself thinking like, okay, I have like X number of years.

[22:29] And I realized that’s like really manifesting something. And I don’t want to do that. I want to think about it in terms of the possibilities of more. I want more. So what can I do to get myself more? And that has to do with health. That has to do with how good I feel in my body and how good he feels, of course. But like, how can we contribute to our health in a way that extends our pleasure span? And for me, what my vision is, is us together at an advanced age, still having hot sex. We are always evolving, and our pleasure is evolving. So I love the idea of that pleasure spans so much, and being in my body about what is possible rather than what’s not possible. And Alison Moon, one of our incredible experts on sexuality with Reed Mihalko, we’re on episode 53, and she talks about the unfolding. I just love both of them, and specifically Alison. She’s such a good speaker, presenter, and she explained it so articulately.

[23:47] I think a lot of us, we find an identity that works for us or we find a partner that works for us. And then we kind of stake it in and we dig in deep and then we stay there for our lives. And we often don’t give ourselves permission to kind of be in a constant state of unfolding. And I think one of the beautiful things about, I mean, should we all be so lucky as to age, right? And that is a privilege denied to many.

[24:10] Those of us who are able to get to a place where we are finding new things about our sexuality and how our bodies change and how pleasure changes through us, particularly those of us who have uteruses, like our hormones shift so dramatically throughout our lives, that we might not only find that we desire things differently, but pleasure feels different. And Anne Moore on episode 172 talks about being an embodied older woman and growing older, and she softens her body in a way that is so beautiful. It’s not about saying, Hey, I’m still hot, even though it’s not that it’s, um, for me, it’s finding tenderness for the places in me that still want to judge and recognizing that it’s not mine. Like I, that’s been handed to me daily for my whole life. So being really tender and compassionate with that part that says I’m not enough. And then also to that it’s the acceptance of I am changing. Things look different. Things behave differently in my body every day. And that’s meant to happen. It’s not a wrong thing to be aging, to be considering even mortality. It’s not a wrong thing. it’s part of the big cycle I’m doing it right I’m doing it right.

[25:37] By seeing the way that gravity is showing up in my body that I’m softening that I’m moving toward the earth um.

[25:48] And celebrating, for me, the place I go to help with that, it’s hard to do it when I’m just in my own individual experience of being a human in this body. And what helps me a lot is getting out in nature.

[26:02] This is just a small sampler of our beautiful episodes. I think 83 that we counted on the topics of love, romance, and sexuality. And specifically, we also wanted to touch on our aging sexuality in this time. We want to invite you to visit our website, theopenesters.com. That’s double N in the middle, S at the end. Explore the many episodes of Love and Romance and the other categories that we have. There’s so many easy ways to do that. If you go to the website and you go to the Listen pulldown because you could see all the categories. So you’d be able to go right to Love and Sexuality if it interests you. Or there’s aging and grief. There’s all kinds of hobbies and passions and travel. So you can really look at all and a lot of interviews around adult kids. As Open Nesters, I invite you to explore the many ways that we build relationships and create new openings for ourselves at this wonderful, vital stage of life.

[27:03] We are so excited about the upcoming season and I hope that you will join us as a subscriber. So please subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. If you know of other Open Nesters that are doing interesting things in Act 3, please send them our way to interview them on our podcast. And if you have other topics that you’d like to hear about, feel free to get on our Instagram or Facebook page and talk about it or write to me at Tessa at theopennesters.com and continue to share these podcasts with your friends because we thank you so much for helping us grow. Until next time, this is Amir. And this is Tessa.

[27:40] Music. You have been listening to the Open Nestor’s Podcast, a production of Kiwi Publishing and Media. Executive Producer, Tessa Krone. Music by Yoni Avi Battat. Audio Engineering by Lucid Sound. Web Design and Blogs, PJ Ewing.

[27:40] And we will see you during Season 5 of the Open Nestor Podcast. Ciao.

[28:13] Music. episode and guest, please visit us at theopennesters.com. For questions or to be a guest on our podcast, email Tessa at theopennesters.com.

[28:14] This podcast is available on all podcast platforms.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness, relationship fluidity in the empty nest, and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

In this episode, Tessa and Amir reflect on the conclusion of Season One and the upcoming content that delves deeper into key topics surrounding aging. They express excitement over a forthcoming interview with relationship experts Charlie and Linda Bloom, but the focus here pivots to the enlightening conversation with Ashton Applewhite, an advocate against ageism and author of "This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism." 

Ashton presents a transformative perspective on aging, encouraging listeners to embrace growing older as a journey toward wisdom rather than a decline. Tessa emphasizes how Ashton’s messages resonate deeply as many enter what she calls "Act III" of life, navigating new challenges and opportunities that come when children leave home. The discussion reveals the prevalent cultural biases regarding aging, particularly the obsession with youthfulness, and how these narratives can be dismantled. Ashton articulates that successful aging is less about resisting the signs of getting older and more about acknowledging our inherent value at every stage of life.

Throughout their dialogue, Tessa and Ashton explore the paradox of why society equates aging with negativity, exposing how this conditioning impacts our self-perception. Ashton shares insights on the “u curve of happiness,” highlighting the reality that many people find greater satisfaction in the later stages of life, contrary to popular belief. The conversation takes a poignant turn as they tackle the concept of agelessness, challenging the notion that one should strive to appear younger. This advocacy for authenticity encourages listeners to embrace their chronological age as part of their identity.

As the conversation unfolds, Ashton shares the importance of open-mindedness in examining our own biases toward age and empowering ourselves to engage with younger generations to foster community. She discusses various societal changes and movements aimed at combating ageism, including the World Health Organization’s recent campaign to address age-related discrimination globally. Tessa highlights the shared responsibility of individuals to redefine aging in a more positive light by fostering intergenerational relationships and communities that value all ages equally.

Ashton and Tessa also venture into discussions around personal challenges related to aging, the experience of losing mobility, and how to redefine what it means to stay active and adventurous at any age. They touch upon crucial themes such as the exploration of sensuality and intimacy as people grow older, aiming to break the stereotypes surrounding elderly sexuality and invite a more nuanced conversation about desire and connection.

In wrapping up this rich conversation, Tessa and Amir urge listeners to shift their mindset from fearing aging to celebrating it. They underscore the idea of being "older and bolder," embracing all the experiences life brings as an opportunity for growth. Tessa reflects on how Ashton’s insights inspire a collective movement towards acceptance and positivity around aging, making it clear that there’s much to look forward to in our later years. 

This episode is not just an exploration of the aging process; it is an invitation to reframe the dialogue around aging in our society, encouraging everyone to adopt a mindset that values our lived experiences over youthful appearances.

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we dive into the transformative concept of "open nesting," which invites listeners to embrace new adventures, relationships, and passions during this exciting life stage. We challenge the notion of being an empty nester, celebrating instead the rich possibilities that come with reimagining our lives as our children transition into adulthood. As the conversation unfolds, I introduce Daphna and Lior, founders of an innovative new app called "Bonds," designed to deepen relationships through AI.

Daphna and Lior provide an enlightening overview of the Bonds app, emphasizing that it is not merely another dating platform but a unique tool focused on improving communication and understanding within existing relationships. Lior shares his personal journey, highlighting the challenges he faced in navigating relationship dynamics later in life. He expresses the pivotal role that technology has played in helping him and others find clarity in their partnerships, leading to the creation of Bonds.

The app stands out by leveraging artificial intelligence while incorporating essential human insights from psychology. Daphna explains how Bonds tailors its suggestions to fit the specific relationship context of its users, utilizing feedback from both partners to cultivate deeper intimacy. Unlike generic chatbots, Bonds personalizes the experience, evolving with users over time and guiding them through habits that enhance their connections.

As the conversation progresses, we explore real-life examples of how Bonds has positively impacted users' relationships. Daphna and Lior recount success stories that underscore the app's ability to help individuals recognize and adapt their communication styles, thereby enriching their partnerships. They stress the importance of self-awareness in relationships and how their app can facilitate meaningful change by revealing areas for growth and improvement.

We also tackle the apprehension some may feel about using technology in their most intimate relationships. The co-founders emphasize that Bonds is designed to be a friendly companion for couples navigating the complexities of love and connection, making it accessible and beneficial for users of all ages. The discussion highlights the generational shift in how technology, particularly AI, can enhance interpersonal relationships and support emotional bonding.

In closing, we encourage listeners to explore Bonds for themselves, highlighting the app's availability on both Android and iOS platforms. As we embark on our own journey of using the app, we invite our audience to engage with us, sharing feedback and experiences as we collectively discover the potential of this innovative tool. Together, we can redefine relationships in our open nesting phase, amplifying our connections during this beautiful stage of life.

In this episode of Loving Without Boundaries, hosted by Kitty Chambliss, Tessa and Amir from the Open Nesters podcast return for an enlightening reunion after four years since their last appearance. Their previous discussion focused on their burgeoning journey into polyamory, and now, they reflect on how their understanding and experience have deepened over time. With the passage of four years filled with growth, exploration, and profound transformations in their relationships, Tessa and Amir share the lessons they’ve gleaned and the ways their practices in open relating have evolved.

Throughout the conversation, they delve into the intricacies of navigating open relationships while prioritizing their families, particularly how they have cherished intentional time with their adult children and nurtured their roles as grandparents. They discuss the dynamics of holding space for love in multiple facets, revealing how their eclectic erotic blueprints have shaped their individual and shared experiences. Tessa and Amir explore various themes, including emotional evolution, communication in intimacy, and the importance of establishing a unified partnership project—like their podcast—that enriches their connection.

Both Tessa and Amir find themselves in different yet complementary spaces within their relationship; while Amir has embraced his experience of love with another partner, Tessa reflects on her emotional journey and the challenges she has faced, such as feelings of jealousy and navigating attachment styles. They candidly share insights on how their distinct paths are not only fulfilling but are also reflective of their growth as individuals and as a couple. Their ability to communicate openly about their sexual explorations enhances their mutual understanding and strengthens their bond.

Tessa particularly emphasizes the importance of somatic practices, such as dance and breathwork, as tools for self-discovery and emotional release, drawing connections between personal well-being and relational dynamics. Through their reflective dialogue, they illuminate how embracing a playful and exploratory spirit in their lives fosters resilience and intimacy.

Amir, on his end, focuses on how openly discussing feelings and working through conflicts—what they term “breakdowns” leading to “breakthroughs”—is essential in cultivating a lasting relationship.

The Open Nesters podcast evolves into a platform not only for sharing their journey of polyamory and open relationships but also for exploring broader themes such as family dynamics, aging, and the joy of maintaining curiosity and playful engagement in life as they grow older. They reflect on how their listeners have resonated with their experiences and the impact of their messages on others navigating similar paths.

As the episode wraps up, Tessa and Amir leave listeners with a profound reminder of the richness that comes with embracing life’s transitions and the endless possibilities that lie within open relationships. Their journey stands as a testament to the beauty of evolving together while maintaining individual desires and identities, encouraging others to remain curious and engaged with their partners in the pursuit of authentic connection. The resonance of their story serves as a beacon for those exploring their own narratives in the realms of love and intimacy.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness, relationship fluidity in the empty nest, and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we dive deep into the concept of "open nesting," a refreshing take on the empty nest phase of life. Instead of viewing the absence of children as a void, we explore how it can lead to an abundance of new experiences, connections, and personal growth. I had the pleasure of welcoming back Shane Coleman, one of our favorite guests from Season One, who is joined by her new partner, Steve Bedansky. Together, they embody the spirit of open nesting, sharing their journeys towards embracing love and intimacy in this exciting stage of life.

Shane kicks off the conversation by recounting a whimsical story from her past about encountering Steve at a seminar on extended massive orgasm years ago. She expresses her initial disinterest in the attendees and her desire to meet the instructor—little did she know that many years later, they would connect in a meaningful relationship. Steve shares his background as a seasoned expert in sensuality and intimacy, stemming from a long and loving marriage. This foundation sets the stage for a heartfelt discussion on how love can be both rediscovered and expanded as we navigate through life’s different chapters.

As their story unfolds, Shane and Steve highlight the transformative power of vulnerability in relationships. They delve into their use of the PARN acronym—Play, Attention, Revealing, and Noticing— which serves as a playful framework for enhancing intimacy and communication. Shane, with her expertise in play, emphasizes that infusing fun into relationships can dissolve awkwardness and create space for deeper connections. Steve adds that attentiveness is crucial for reciprocal appreciation and intimacy, allowing both partners to express themselves authentically without fear of judgment.

Their discussion touches on the importance of training and skills, mainly how understanding the nuances of pleasure can greatly improve intimacy. They also address common misconceptions about aging and sexuality, encouraging listeners to embrace the idea that pleasure and connection can extend well into one’s later years. Shane offers practical advice, reminding us to be playful and lighthearted in our approach to dating and relationships—humming tunes, laughing off mishaps, and accepting ourselves as we are instead of striving for perfection.

As they share their own experiences of starting fresh in a new relationship, Shane and Steve convey a sense of hope to listeners navigating similar journeys. They remind us that love doesn’t have an expiration date and that opening our hearts to new connections can lead to unexpected joy. Through shared laughter and candid stories, they explore how the dynamics of romance can shift at this stage in life, where vulnerability and openness can flourish.

Before concluding, they offer encouragement to others in the open nester phase, urging them to not shy away from expressing their desires and exploring new paths of pleasure and connection. Steve shares the importance of ongoing education in intimacy, emphasizing that it’s never too late to learn how to give and receive pleasure. Shane echoes this sentiment, advocating for self-exploration and the joy of living authentically.

Together, Shane and Steve create a vibrant atmosphere of acceptance and joy, inviting listeners to view the empty nest not as a time of loss, but as an opportunity for exploration, connection, and growth. Their journey is a testament to the love that can blossom at any age and the beauty of building new relationships with an open heart and mind.

[Tessa] In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we dive into the vibrant life of Maria DiSalvo, whose journey exemplifies the essence of being an open nester.

With her children grown and launched into their own lives, Maria embodies the philosophy of embracing new adventures, relationships, and passions that come with this transformative stage. Our conversation serves as an engaging introduction to our Love and Sexuality Month, exploring the personal and societal narratives surrounding intimacy and self-discovery.

Maria shares how her life has flourished since becoming an open nester, painting a vivid picture of her remarkable path toward rediscovering her sensuality and sexuality. She navigates through the evolution of her personal identity after divorce, revealing the joys and challenges she faced during and after menopause. Her dedication to exploring these topics through education and practice underscores a profound understanding of the human experience, offering insights that resonate deeply with listeners ready to embark on their own journeys of self-exploration.

Throughout our discussion, Maria highlights the significance of communication in relationships, especially regarding sexual intimacy. With a wealth of experience in practices such as Tantra, she has developed a unique perspective on the energetic connection that can exist between partners. She emphasizes the importance of understanding personal desires and needs, mentioning how this awareness can transform not only individual pleasure but also acts of intimacy into deeper connections. The candid examples she shares about her encounters and practices are both enlightening and inspiring, showcasing her holistic approach to relationships built on mutual respect and understanding.

Maria’s advocacy for the idea that sexuality does not diminish with age stands at the forefront. She encourages other open nesters to embrace their evolving desires and to delve deep into what excites them.

The episode also touches on the fascinating dynamic of Maria’s relationship with her adult children, who navigate their own paths of love and intimacy around their mother’s choices. This unique generational discourse provides a refreshing perspective on how open communication about sexuality can foster understanding and growth within families. Maria’s openness with her children about her lifestyle challenges traditional views and cultivates a space where healthy conversation around relationships thrives.

The resounding message from Maria’s experience is to say yes to life, to curiosity, and to the vast possibilities that come with our evolving identities as open nesters. Her story transcends mere advice; it invites everyone, irrespective of age, to find joy in their authenticity and to reach for the full spectrum of human experiences, especially in love and sexuality.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness, relationship fluidity in the empty nest, and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

[Tessa] Welcome welcome 2025. Such a year this is going to be for us all!!!

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, I dive into the concept of open nesting, redefining this phase of life as not merely an empty nest but a vibrant stage filled with new adventures, relationships, and revitalized passions. I share a few reflections on the recent challenges faced by many, particularly due to the devastating fires in California, and emphasize the importance of addressing fundamental human needs as we navigate our emotional landscapes amidst chaos. For those listeners impacted by these devastating fires, my heart goes out to you. Our strength as humans is really how we deal with this kind of tragedy by banding together.

As we embrace a new year, I found inspiration in my personal journey (particularly around my own birthday) to explore the balance between hardship and beauty. One note of personal growth for me came from an online tantra course.

I was just so interested in the intricate energies at play in our bodies and how they can enhance our lives. It made me consider how we can cultivate self-trust and open ourselves to practices that might feel unfamiliar, but ultimately enrich our experience. The book I refer to is called Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization by Scott Barry Kaufman.

This word. This word. These overused, curious, yet ever so powerful word.

As we consider transcendence and growth in 2025, wanted to I share insights from my mindfulness practice. As I continue to explore my version of mindfulness and think often of the importance of compassion, curiosity, and courage in this quest for personal authenticity. I invite our listeners to join in meditation practices that reinforce this connection. With the Kirtan Kriya as a focal point, I guide listeners on how to connect their energy through vocalization, meditation, and movement, stressing how these practices can foster presence and vitality.

As we look forward to 2025, I encourage exploration and open-heartedness in our journeys, whether in relationships or personal growth. It’s a time to seek what makes us feel alive and to carry our gifts into the world. I invite listeners to share their experiences and insights on this path toward transcendence, highlighting the community aspect of our journey as open nesters.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness, relationship fluidity in the empty nest, and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

[Tessa] In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we continue to reimagine open nesting as we reflect on our journey into Season 5.

Join us, Tessa and Amir, as we explore how we have navigated the past year, celebrating the milestones and the insightful conversations that have enriched our lives.

As we wind down Season 4 and look ahead to 2025, we share the excitement of our growth and connection with our audience. We’ve explored a variety of meaningful topics that resonate particularly with women in our community. From the nuances of mothering ourselves to navigating the joys and challenges of aging, we reflect on how these conversations have illuminated our paths. Our discussions have also touched on the complex facets of sexuality and relationship dynamics, as we’ve sought to encourage openness in love and intimacy.

This episode serves as an introspective moment where we celebrate the connections we’ve made—both with our guests and each other. We reminisce about impactful episodes focused on trust, slowing down our fast-paced lives, and the essence of being fully present. We’ve learned that rather than racing toward milestones, it’s essential to cherish each moment as it comes, creating new memories as we actively engage with our relationships, families, and even strangers in our day-to-day lives.

Looking forward, we introduce our vision for the upcoming season, which will focus on the next phase of our journey as open nesters. We aim to highlight couples who are exploring this new chapter together, sharing their experiences of maintaining individual identity while nurturing their partnership. We will also embrace travel as a theme—discussing the joys of spontaneous trips, meaningful retreats, and how exploring new places can breathe excitement into our relationships.

As we integrate our evolving personal journeys into our podcast, we also highlight the importance of community. We love that the concept of an open nest can serve as a platform for support, exploration, and connection. We’ll be welcoming experts and their insights on interpersonal dynamics and self-care.

As we wrap up this episode, we emphasize the power of language and intention in relationships, sharing how acknowledging each other as “beloved” has transformed our communication and fostered deeper connections. The year ahead offers a blank slate filled with potential, and we invite our listeners to reflect on their intentions for this new chapter in their lives.

We encourage you to connect with us, share your thoughts, and engage with our content on social media, as we are excited to expand The Open Nesters community. Subscribe to our podcast to stay updated on our journey, and join us as we navigate this path of openness together. Season 5 is set to be a transformative chapter, filled with exploration and inspiration—stay tuned for all the adventures to come!

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness, relationship fluidity in the empty nest, and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

[Tessa] In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we have an enlightening conversation with Kevin Frest, a leading publisher, agent and photographer. Kevins’ career is extremely interesting. In Kevin’s own words: 

The big takeaway for me is seize the day, do it, and don’t wait and complain about not being around for the results. Plant the tree and maybe somebody else will benefit from those fruits, but hey at least you got to plant it.

Over the last 30 years, Kevin Frest has enjoyed an expansive career as an art publisher and agent in addition to his distinguished work as a photographer.  He has worked with and published some of the most successful artists of his generation, including Erte, with whom he collaborated on a series of sculptural works called the Erte Luminieres.   His photos have been published in The New York Times, New York Post, Daily Mail, Francisco Chronicle, to just name a few. Kevin was commissioned for the book, Treasures of the Conservatory of Flowers, with text by Nina Sazevich.

After a lifetime of building other artist careers,  focused his energies as an urban photographer, specializing in street photography, night photography and artistic portraiture.  He is now entering a new and vital period in his long career with his highly anticipated photographic collection Poetry of the Night which takes the viewer on a journey into the streets and byways of Americana to find the hidden vistas of the night. (You can read more about this project in his Artist Statement here.) He traveled to the high Andes in Ecuador with his studio to photograph indigenous Shaman.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness, relationship fluidity in the empty nest, and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…