You Can Come Home, But My Two Boyfriends Are Here
(The Open Nesters Podcast Episode 39)
Hi, this is Tessa. Welcome to Episode 39 of The Open Nesters Podcast. Polyamory is only one of the many topics we discuss on this podcast. As you can imagine it is a polarizing topic. It is not for everyone. And it comes with its complexity, AS DOES monogamy.
Eliza and Mark
Two divorcees find that they want something different in their lives after divorce. They each have children and they each found that they wanted an open relationship. And they found each other after the age of 50. We call it Act III. Mark and Eliza now find that a polyamorous relationship was right for them. You will not find selfishness with these two people. Rather they put their children first… and have found a way to make this new lifestyle a major success.
Mark explains how he checked jealousy at the door when he embarked on a new lifestyle. Eliza was crystal clear on what she wanted after her marriage. No to living with a new partner. No to marriage. She wanted to be able to date whomever she wanted but wanted her partner to do the same. She was married for 20 years… but really did not want to “always be a part of a couple.”
There’s a name for what these two were seeking: “solo polyamory.” One definition:
Solo polyamory means that someone has multiple intimate relationships with people but has an independent or single lifestyle. They may not live with partners, share finances, or have a desire to reach traditional relationship milestones in which partners’ lives become more intertwined
We are so pleased to share this fascinating conversation with you.
Resources for You
We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:
Open Nesters Resource Page
The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group
Addendum
Since recording our interview, our relationship has changed in a way that might precipitate a crisis in a standard, monogamous couple, but is mostly a big nothing for us.
I’d been noticing for some time that Eliza wasn’t responding to messages the way she used to, and sometimes days would pass before I got a response. Something was obviously up, and I worried that she might be upset with me for some reason. I’d been thinking of asking for a chance to talk about it, but Eliza reached out first.
To my great relief, she wasn’t upset with me. She’d simply lost interest in sex, and had been struggling with how to tell me. She’d been avoiding our conversations because they might lead to having to talk about it, and she wasn’t sure exactly how she felt about it herself.
Once she finally felt ready to tackle the subject, it was no big deal. Nothing about our relationship really changes, except now we won’t have sex. We’re platonic partners, and still love and value each other the way we always have. The next hour or more of the conversation was just us catching each other up on what had been happening in our lives, same as always.
Keep up the good work.
Mark
