The Open Nesters

[Tessa] Tom Radca is a ceramic artist who has carved his own path in this world through his art. I met him at an art event in Coconut Grove, FL. We hit it off and I found his personality and his art really engaging. I wanted Tom’s energy on our podcast. And…. voilá, you get to hear our conversation about Tom’s art, career, and life.

A self-proclaimed “worker bee” Tom is passionate about what he does. He made a conscious decision to go into a field that he had fallen in love with. He was not going to follow in the footsteps of a father who hated his work.

Tom loves the single word that he hears day-in-day-out at his art booth… “wow.” And if you see the artwork on his site or on this page – you will say that word too.

From the first time I saw a potter creating a vessel on his wheel, I knew that this was what I wanted my life’s work to be. I began my career as a functional potter, making anything that could be used in the kitchen.

After seven years of production pottery, I hit the wall creatively and considered getting a “real job.” But the challenge drove me. Taking additional coursework, learning new techniques, and meeting potters who would become lifelong mentors shifted my creative focus from functional to decorative work.

Over the past 40 years, I have felt challenged to create large forms. My first attempts at 30″ plates yielded a production of 75 plates, with only 8 making it through the final firing. Frustration and discouragement were tempered by the challenge — just as my beginning attempts at life as a potter were challenged by trips to the pawnshop to be able to feed my family. My present-day challenge is the production of tall, columnar vessels. The kiln gods and I continue to do battle with this form. I truly believe the challenge is necessary — it tends to keep one humble

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

[Tessa] Aging. How funny! Right? It’s funny, curious, puzzling, and delightful to gain wisdom and knowledge as we age. Our guest this week has spent a lot of time considering the humor in aging. And in particular The Humor in Aging, Sex, and the Husband Equivalent.

Joyce has a lot of funny things to say throughout this interview. And you will laugh at her wry observations on life and aging. That said she has such insights. One of my favorites: “Don’t spend your life trying not to die.”

Husband Equivalent?… you say? Yep. Dive into the episode above. It is a very stimulating conversation on The Open Nesters Podcast.

Joyce Saltman is a Professor Emeritus of Special Education at Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven, CT. She chose to receive her doctoral degree from Columbia because she loved the color of their doctoral gown. It was no small feat that she was able to persuade her mentor to allow her to write her dissertation on “Humor in Adult Learning.” She also holds four graduate degrees in the fields of Special Education and Counseling. Joyce’s innovative teaching style has led to the development of a graduate course entitled. “The Enhancement of Learning Through Humor,” as well as a summer institute called, “Healing, Education Laughter and Play (HELP).”

Her experience in the areas of education, therapy, and comedy has provided an outstanding background for her research on “The Therapeutic Value of Laughter.” Since 1983, when Joyce began lecturing on “Laughter,” she has been interviewed by national radio and TV. Her dynamic seminars and articles, always peppered with humor, address such topics as dealing with difficult people, laughter as therapy, parenting, and relationships. Her goal is to enlighten, educate, and entertain while the audience laughs. Joyce has been speaking on “Laughter” and related uplifting topics since 1983, and hopes to be able to die laughing – but not too soon!!!

Joyce is the 2015 recipient of the Doug Fletcher Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for the Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH). She also is the first winner of the Outstanding Faculty Award from the Academy for Continuing Education, (ACE) Boynton Beach, FL, as well as the 2015 First prize joke-telling award from the International Society for Humor Studies (ISHS).

As a result of her speaking engagements, she has so far been able to donate over one million dollars to her favorite various charities. Intermittently referred to as the “Guru of Laughter,” and “The Chubby Broad from Brooklyn, Joyce helps people lighten up wherever she goes!

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

[Tessa] How lucky we are to have Angela Thurston on our show this week. Angela has a one-on-one mentoring practice that you can learn about here: Angela Thurston Offerings. You can reach Angela also here: Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Coaching.

Angela is upfront about how she has developed an ongoing erotic relationship with her husband. She relates stories from her coaching practice.

Sex can be confusing, pleasure illusive and passion often fades. But when you master the skills of the Erotic Blueprints, you’ll…

Sounds good, right? Start your journey to erotic mastery. Take the quiz.

When I began my transition into mid-life the emotions, thoughts, and experiences I was having really took me by storm. From the outside looking in my life looked great. I was in a supportive, loving marriage, had two amazing children, and lived in a lovely home. However, on the inside there was a huge gap, a dark void – something was seriously missing.

When I was younger I was in exploration mode. I trained in Reiki, Reflexology, and Touch For Health. I submersed myself in self-help, metaphysical, and spiritually affirming books, practices, and techniques. I went to therapists, workshops, and healers. I practiced gratitude. I prayed. I believed in something greater. So after all the personal and spiritual growth work I had done and was practicing, I was left feeling perplexed.

I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t feel sufficient as a mother, a partner, or as a woman. I was unhappy with my post-baby body. I moved in and out of depression. I had no sexual desire and I was very aware of the generational patterning I was passing on to our children. The guilt I felt for having these feelings was immense. In my mind what I had should have been enough. It wasn’t.

It was affecting my relationships and my health, and it was keeping me from experiencing true joy, unbridled passion, and authentic expression.

Seeking a more body-centred practice, I turned to the study and teaching of World Dance. It felt great to dance and teach others how to discover and move their bodies in new and wonderful ways.

However, I was leaving the joy on the dance floor, the memories of my past were lingering in my body, and my patterns were holding firm. It was this initial journey into my body that showed me that we hold our biography in our tissues.

My curiosity for healing these stories led me on a personal and professional journey that gently spiralled me home to my sexual essence and the wisdom of my body. It is here that great shifts have occurred, clarity became accessible, and my confidence soared. Now the essence of my powerful, sexual being radiates out into all aspects of my succulent life.

I have studied, trained, and certified in Continuum Movement, Vividly Women Embodiment Coaching, The Art of Feminine Presence, The TaoTantric Arts, and Bodysex. I now guide, educate, and mentor other women on their journeys as I continue to voyage into the sweet centre of my sexuality.

It is an honour for me to assist women in their exploration of connecting with, deepening, and expanding their divine sexuality and their unlimited potential.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Angela Thurston

[Tessa] You will find a lot of value in this episode. We have two guest voices on this episode. Jonathan Pillot and Dr. Joshua Coleman. You may remember Jonathan from Episode 45 Labeling And Unlabeling With Jonathan Pillot. Jonathan shares a painful episode of estrangement from his daughter and Dr. Coleman provides incredible insights.

There may be a kind of “epidemic of estrangement” occurring in our society now, that Dr. Coleman speaks to in this episode. He speaks from personal experience and from the work he does with so many adults trying to understand their estranged children. A tough show to hear… but one of incredible value for those in this situation.

[Dr. Coleman] I made all the mistakes that I see parents commonly make, which was to defend, to explain, to deny. But eventually, I learned to just listen and empathize and more importantly, to take responsibility and really care about [my child’s] experience and make that what was prioritized, not my experience or how wronged I felt. [I focused on] how hurt or neglected or unloved she felt, which is the worst thing any parent can hear.

Dr. Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families, a non-partisan organization of leading sociologists, historians, psychologists and demographers dedicated to providing the press and public with the latest research and bestpractice findings about American families.

He has written for The New York Times, The Atlantic, NBC THINK, The Behavioral Scientist, CNN, MarketWatch, the San Francisco Chronicle, Greater Good Magazine, AEON, Huffington Post, Psychology Today, Variety, and more. He has given talks to the faculties at Harvard, the Weill Cornell Department of Psychiatry and other academic institutions. A frequent guest on the Today Show and NPR he has also been featured on Sesame Street, 20/20, Good Morning America, PBS, America Online Coaches, and numerous news programs for FOX, ABC, CNN, and NBC television.

He is the author of numerous articles and chapters and has written four books: The Rules of Estrangement (Random House); The Marriage Makeover: Finding Happiness in Imperfect Harmony (St. Martin’s Press); The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework (St. Martin’s Press); When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along (HarperCollins)

Dr. Coleman is the co-editor, along with historian Stephanie Coontz of seven online volumes of Unconventional Wisdom: News You Can Use, a compendium of noteworthy research on the contemporary family, gender, sexuality, poverty, and work-family issues.

His books have been translated into Chinese, Korean, Russian, Polish, and Croatian.

He is co-founder with researcher Dr. Becca Bland of Standing Together, a center for advancing awareness of family estrangement.

Dr. Coleman is the father of three adult children, has a teenage grandson and lives with his wife in the San Francisco Bay Area.  He also writes music for television which has appeared on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Lethal Weapon, Chicago Fire, Chicago PD, Pretty Little Liars, Longmire, Shameless, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and many other shows.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Free Q&A WEBINARS

[Tessa] The wisdom you will find in this podcast may just last a lifetime. Tammy has identified the essence of monogamy and asks all the right questions. I guarantee that her words in this podcast will open your eyes about your own relationship.

I have known Dr. Tammy Nelson for many years. It is a true pleasure to welcome her voice onto our podcast!

[Tammy] Monogamy is not synonymous with morality. It’s not like, “Okay, if I never sleep with anyone else, then we’ve obeyed our promise to each other.” The promise is really that we’re gonna be really honest; that’s what gives our relationship integrity. That’s the promise. You don’t have to trade your partner in for someone else. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with your relationship. If there’s something difficult, maybe it’s the agreement that has to be changed, not your partner that has to be changed.

Tammy Nelson, PhD is a sex and relationship expert, an international speaker, an author and a licensed psychotherapist with almost thirty years of experience working with individuals and couples.  In private practice she focuses on helping people of all ages, orientations and genders find love, healing and passion.

Tammy Nelson, Ph.D. is the Director of the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute and has been a licensed sex and relationship therapist in practice for over thirty years. She teaches at several Universities, is a TEDx speaker and is the host of the podcast The Trouble with Sex.

Tammy is a Board Certified Sexologist, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Imago Relationship therapist, and a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselor.  She is the author of When You’re The One Who Cheats, Ten Things You Need to Know, The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity  and Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together  as well as What’s Eating You: A Workbook for Teens with Anorexia, Bulimia, and other Eating Disorders and her most recent project Integrative Sex & Couples Therapy.

She has many other eBooks including Six Weeks to Erotic Recovery, as well as chapters and articles on topics ranging from sexuality, desire, affair recovery, monogamy issues, open marriage, online infidelity, intentional divorce, passionate relationships and everything related to couples.

She consults with institutes, think tanks and corporations on communication, integrity, and relationships. At this time of great global stress, Dr. Tammy helps people cope with working from home, disruption across all industries and social distancing.

She has been a featured expert in NY Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Glamour Magazine, Cosmopolitan, RedBook, MSNBC, Men’s Health, Woman’s Day, and has been a source for Time Magazine.  She writes for the Psychotherapy Networker, is a blogger for Huffington Post and  YourTango,  and can be followed on Facebook, Twitter and her blog.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

3 Things to Consider About Open Monogamy

[Tessa] Meet Suzanne Noble, founder of The Advantages of Age and Startup School for Seniors. I sat down with Suzanne to talk about raising adult boys (now successful digital marketing professionals), her nomadic and surprising life (full of jazz and joy) and entrepreneurship for the 50+ crowd.

[Suzanne] So I was sitting in a hot tub, which is my thing, I have this hot tub in my back garden, with some girlfriends, all kind of between 40 and 60. And we were bemoaning the fact that the newspapers, when they talked about people getting older, it tended to be in derogatory ways. It was sagging this and no sex that, and it’s just all rubbish, right? It just made us feel bad. This woman, Amanda, in the tub, said, “That’s not our lives…. somebody should start something called advantages of age.” And I just went, “Oh yeah, somebody should, and that person should be me.”

As a PR Director of a mid-size agency, I worked with famous names like Dionne Warwick, The Who and Led Zeppelin. In 2014, I transitioned into technology, winning awards and column inches for an app called Frugl. Nowadays, I juggle running Startup School alongside my business nestful, helping older homeowners to find compatible home-mates.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

[Tessa] We did an interview with Kitty Chambliss for her podcast that we want to share with you. It’s all about our relationship. Our history, our life, our loving openness. To celebrate February and our Love and Sex Month Celebration we share more about how we came to polyamory and our open relationship. The origins of our relationship and Open Nesting this week on the Open Nesters Podcast.

[TESSA] One of my dear friends moved to south Florida and started going to a nude beach. She went with her husband. They started going to sexy parties and she started whispering in my ears. She was going to these parties and finding how sensual and sexually alive she feels. And I was just open ears and excited about it.

I was always a serial monogamist. We were consumed with our kids; our sex life was good. The kids got older, busier. So we went to south Florida, and my friend said, “you want us to take you to one of the clubs?” I said, “what kind of clubs?” And she’s like, “we just dance and there’s some sexy stuff happening in the back.” We went in and we explored, women were dancing with me… and me taking off some of my clothes and feeling like I had the freedom to do that. It was such a turn-on for us that we became like high school kids again.

A born-and-raised Philly girl with nothing more than passion, a laptop and a dream, I’m proud to have created a socially conscious mission that touches thousands. I am passionate about helping people understand that they have a choice in relationships and their lives in general.

And then be proud of who we see in the mirror, increasing self-worth (reducing depression, shame and guilt). And if monogamy is not working for you, you can choose ethical non-monogamy or polyamory.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

[Tessa] Meet Laurie and Michael. Laurie’s book Sex and Happiness has had an enormous impact on me. So it is a thrill to interview this innovative and influential sex therapist, Laurie Handlers, on our podcast. I found Laurie and her partner Michael to be such good ambassadors of tantric sex with their deep understanding of the many levels beyond traditional lovemaking. If you are curious about what sex can become in your life then this episode will truly light you up!

[Michael] “Men and women can actually start to go down this path of being very connected in their lovemaking. They take on archetypes. [With] Laurie, I regard her as the goddess when we’re making love. She is the goddess to me and I am the shaman. I’m the one that’s holding the space. I’m the one that’s creating the magic and being present and holding safety for her and taking her along on this ride that her body wants me to take her on.”

Laurie Handlers, author of International Bestseller Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy teaches people ways to increase pleasure and return to love with themselves and their partners. Having done all of the work herself, Laurie is an expert in the field of sexuality, intimacy, and relationships. To Laurie, sexuality is the portal to healing and this work connects us to our creative life force.

As a speaker and facilitator, Laurie has taught transformational workshops since 1978 on topics ranging from releasing past emotional trauma, stopping the aging process, and Tantra (expansion through awareness) impacting tens of thousands of lives. She believes couples are an “endangered species.” Together with her partner she offers relationship coaching and holds workshops on how to be in extraordinary love. Watching people transform brings joy and excitement to Laurie’s life and career.

Studying since 2008, Michael is a Certified Sex and Happiness Coach and practitioner, the co-founder of the Academy for Men, and creator of Just Add Skill workshops for men.

Michael is also the creator of The Extraordinary Lovers Experience and co-facilitates with Laurie Handlers in many of her in-person and online courses all over the world.

Michael fuses ancient shamanic wisdom, sacred sexuality, and modern science into his coaching to create truly Extraordinary Lovers.

Learn about Michael and Laurie’s Retreat.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

[Tessa] Meet Reid and Allison, a lovely, if unlikely, couple. An avowed lesbian, Allison fell for Reid. A sex-positive man with a lot of exploring to do falls for Allison. That was 15 years ago. Now they each have well-developed sex counseling practices, books, media, groups… education for those who are interesting in developing their approach to sex and intimacy in the third act of life.

This is an interview that deals quite frankly with sex and topics like pegging. Please put on the earbuds while consuming this one. That said we’re not probing (pun intended) into the world of alternative sex to be sensational or salacious. Rather we are here to open a few doors for our audience. Allison and Reid prove to us all that you can have a fun, lighthearted, and incredibly informative conversation about sexual pursuits and pleasures without devolving into eroticism for its own sake.

Allison Moon is the author of five books including the critically acclaimed sexual education guide Girl Sex 101 (Goldie Award for Nonfiction, Rainbow Award), Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex, and the erotic memoir Bad Dyke  (Publisher’s Weekly Starred Book). Allison is a popular sex educator, leading workshops on sexual pleasure and technique, polyamory, LGBTQ+ issues, and more. She has been quoted in Cosmopolitan, New York magazine, and the Washington Post. Her other writing includes articles for Bustle, and stories for the RISK! podcast, Bawdy Storytelling, and various anthologies.

Allison was a 2011 Lambda Literary Emerging LGBT Authors Fellow. She has a degree in Neuroscience from Oberlin College. Allison has presented her workshops — on strap-on sex, polyamory, sexual self-expression, erotica writing, and more — to thousands of people around the US and Canada.

Reid Mihalko  (He/Him) of ReidAboutSex.com, Relationship10x.com, and Sex10xOnline.com helps adults and college students create more self-esteem, self-confidence and greater health and satisfaction in and out of the bedroom using an inspiring mixture of humor, keen insight, and comprehensive sexual health information.

Using humor, insight and solid information, Reid appeals to audiences of all orientations, backgrounds, ages, and identities. He speaks pragmatically to nearly all areas of sexual self-expression, intimacy, dating and relating. Reid’s mission is to give men and women new tools to transform their love lives into fulfilling, satisfying, and sustainable expressions of self.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

[Tessa] Meet Kit and Jeff, two people who found each other nearly 10 years ago. Kit is a grief counselor and Jeff is a serial entrepreneur. We had a wide ranging conversation about their past lives and their current relationship. And we discussed Jeff’s fascinating business venture and Kit’s work during the pandemic with individuals facing big life-changing and life-ending challenges.

You can learn about Kit and her grief counseling practice here: Kit for Living. From Kit’s Website:

Let me dive in with you. Together we can experience the chaos and grief and joy that we are all heir to, and offer some perspective on your big picture while going deep as needed to help YOU rise above your own life’s minutiae.

Live fully to the end.

From Jeff’s website:

Bridge Storage has been family-owned and operated since 1996.   With his dad Jim, Jeff Wright worked to adapt Bridge Storage into Bridge Storage and ArtSpace.  

Over the last decade, we have allocated an increasing amount of dead storage space into workable makerspace, including art gallery and coworking space, shared artist workshop, shared woodshop, shared metal shop, private and shared art studio rentals, discounted artist memberships, and the recent (since Covid) development of a  community kitchen and cafe.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group