The Optimistic American

In this episode of a 4 part mini-series of The Optimistic American, we explore the ongoing conflict in Ukraine and the West's involvement in it. Jordan Peterson and Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard's podcast on Russia and Ukraine sparked a lot of discussion, with Peterson calling out not just the Ukrainian war but also the declining morality of the West. He suggests that G7 leaders should focus on determining exactly what the Russians would accept as a minimum precondition for peace, instead of simply labeling Putin as a modern-day Hitler or Stalin.

However, here at The Optimistic American, we take a different perspective. We believe in the importance of supporting Ukraine's sovereignty and territorial integrity, and standing up against authoritarian regimes like Putin's Russia. While it's always important to question our government's actions, we see ourselves as part of the fight for the preservation of Western liberal democracy, free markets, and governments that prioritize the individual's wellbeing.

In this episode, we also explore the motives behind the military-industrial complex, and whether their profits may be driving certain political decisions. So tune in, and join us as we navigate these complex issues with an optimistic eye towards the future.

We are The Optimistic American, and we are in the business of promoting what is going right in our country. Every day, there is tremendous progress being made in America — across technology, public policy, science and medicine, and much more — that will set current and future generations up for success. Our goal is to highlight these advancements and tilt the scale of news and information from pessimism towards optimism.

Mentioned in This Episode:

optamerican.com

Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You by Dr Emily Bashah and Hon Paul Johnson

In this episode of The Optimistic American, Paul Johnson sits down with Dr. Emily Bashah to discuss gun control, mass shootings in the United States, and how we can use the data to prevent mass shootings from happening in the future.

• Paul and Emily start the conversation by describing how mass shootings, directly and indirectly, impact local communities.
• According to Emily, we need to understand how mass shooters think and operate - only then can we prevent more shootings from happening in the future.
• Emily breaks down what the data says about mass shooters.
• A study done in the 2021 book, The Violence Project: How to Stop A Mass Shooting Epidemic, compiled detailed data including the life history of 180 shooters.
• The data shows that nearly all mass shooters have a history of trauma and most mass shooters are suicidal and the hatred they have for themselves turns outward.
• Almost all mass shooters have one thing in common: they all want to die and don’t care who they take with them.
• To solve the problem of mass shootings we have to be willing to look for answers that can work politically, be constitutional, and be effective. Some of the solutions being bantered about are ineffective if the data is correct.
• The solution will need both gun restrictions and mental health efforts.
• Paul and Emily agree that dedicating funds to community mental health efforts can help identify and potentially reduce the number of mass shooters. Especially on school campuses where the data helps us identify those people who are most at risk.
• Paul talks about gun laws that would effectively reduce the number of mass shootings in the US and those that will have little effect.
• Paul points out that while he isn’t defending AR-15 sales,most of the shootings happen with hand guns, and if you banned AR-15’s, there isn’t evidence it would have stopped any of the mass shootings. It just would have happened with a different gun.
• Paul points out the type of gun laws that data shows works is the gun laws that keep guns out of the hands of people who commit the crimes, notably kids, people with a history of violence and those who are suicidal. This includes safe storage laws, red flag laws, and the ability to put restraining orders issued by a judge on people who have shown signs of being violent.
• Emily points out that at the scene of most mass shootings, there are usually many people with guns in the parking lot that didn’t stop the shootings. We have to work on creating barriers before the incident.
• Paul and Emily agree that reducing the number of mass shootings is only possible if both gun laws are adopted that target the potentially dangerous individual and a focus on mental health.
• Emily points out the type of clues and hints mass shooters exhibit before attacking innocent civilians. Those clues can help us identify at risk individuals and save lives.
• Who is to blame for the increase in number of mass shooters? Emily believes it’s everybody - from the government to the parents and everybody in contact with the mass shooters has to take responsibility to fix this massive problem.

Mentioned in This Episode:

optamerican.com

Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You by Dr Emily Bashah and Hon Paul Johnson

The Violence Project: How to Stop a Mass Shooting Epidemic by Jillian Peterson

In this episode of The Optimistic American, Paul Johnson sits down with Dr. Emily Bashah to talk about the right way to engage in politics. They explain how being obsessed with civic duties can make you a target for radicalization and impact your ability to find meaning in life.

• Paul and Emily start the conversation by describing how people can be involved in politics without harming their ability to think independently.
• The goal of people who run political parties is to use fear to radicalize you.
• Emily describes how winning an argument releases adrenaline and dopamine. This creates an addiction to both arguing and the need to always be right.
• Paul said the right and the left are both necessary, but the extreme right and the extreme left don’t like America - they both reject the idea of an individualistic society.
• Politics is the place we go to resolve our problems; it will always be controversial. Compromise is essential if the union is to survive, but unfortunately, many people have a negative view of compromise.
• Paul shares why gerrymandering allows politicians to win without ever having to face half the voters who are in the other party. He feels elected officials should face every voter every time they run for office.
• When we allow politicians, political Party’s or the nightly talk shows to terrify us, it drives us towards more extreme ideologies, giving these very groups more control over you.
• According to Emily, it’s 100% possible to be involved in politics without jeopardizing your ability to lead a normal life, but you have to maintain your sense of objectivity and agency.
• Politics becomes an addiction when the obsessive components of the ideology are no longer in your control. You lose control when issues begin to scare, frighten or terrorize you.
• The people who often become radicalized are not those who have a lot and want more or those who have nothing and want something. They are the people who once had something and lost a piece of it.
• Paul uncovers the connection between genocide, terrorism, and extremist groups: ideology.
• The most dangerous ideological groups are the ones that separate people into the oppressed and the oppressor.
• Paul points out that in his experience, small radicalized groups can dramatically impact society with radical and harmful ideas (unless rational people say no).
• Once you believe a person is fundamentally evil, you objectify them and then you can begin to justify your atrocious acts against them.
• Radicalized leaders have the ability to take good people and make them do bad things.
• Paul and Emily agree that the easiest way to avoid radicalization is to stop consuming hateful TV and social media content, to find other things in life other than politics.
• People need to focus more on meaning and less on happiness. If we focus on happiness, we’re never going to find it. If we focus on meaning, we have a chance of finding happiness.
• Paul shares how struggle can help you find meaning and happiness in life. 

Mentioned in This Episode:

optamerican.com

Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You by Dr Emily Bashah and Hon Paul Johnson

The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements by Eric Hoffer

In this episode of The Optimistic American, Paul Johnson and Dr. Emily Bashah sit down and discuss the three C’s of every healthy relationship: communication, compromise, and compliments, and why it takes courage to be vulnerable enough to find love.

• There are three C's to every healthy relationship: communication, compromise, and compliments.
• If someone you are with can’t get any insight into who you are and how you feel, it’s going to be very difficult to grow together. Choosing how you communicate with your partner is going to be critical for a successful relationship.
• You need to understand the core values that brought you together in the first place.
• It’s important to remember that your relationship with someone can end at any time and shouldn’t be taken for granted. A mentor of Emily’s advice on marriage was to “never stop pursuing your spouse. Just because you have someone, that doesn’t mean you can keep them.”
• If you can’t coach the other person (and vice-versa), and help them understand where you’re coming from, the odds of you being able to communicate with them and compromise, or get the compliments you’re looking for become very remote.
• Abusive relationships can come as a result of trauma bonds, where there are positive feedback loops and patterns in the relationship alongside the abuse. This can result in codependence. Oftentimes, the abuser will foster the dependency on them which encourages the environment of captivity, which is when autonomy begins to disappear.
• Be financially capable of taking care of yourself.
• Research has shown that men and women are both hardwired and socialized differently. Women tend to be process-oriented, and men tend to be product-oriented, but that’s not a set-in-stone rule.
• These traits are necessary for a good parenting environment, even if they don’t come from the traditional male/female pair. We need both perspectives and diverse ideas if you want a company or a country to succeed.
• Love is one of the most important things you can find in life, and do find it you need to dare greatly. You need to be able to surrender and be vulnerable in a relationship, and that takes courage.

Communication Strategies

• Emily has clients that tend to be fault-finders when it comes to their relationships, but she turns that around by observing what that attitude says about themselves. You can’t expect someone to want to be with you if they always feel inferior because of your criticism.
• Emily tells the story of how something at work was making her life very difficult and her very frustrated. She asked for “pre-forgiveness” as a way to let other people know you’re stressed and not at your best. We’re all human and we are all going to make mistakes, asking for pre-forgiveness upfront will give people a heads up and make them much more likely to extend the grace you need.
• Good communication makes things clear and prevents your partner from creating stories in their head to fill in the gaps of their understanding. It’s important to externalize the problems and name them, so the other person doesn’t feel threatened by it.
• We all have problems and challenges in our lives, and those have emotional effects on us. You can make the situation worse if you don’t inform people what is going on in your life. By communicating those emotions, you give the other person the opportunity to feel like an ally rather than a contributor to the problem.
• We all have moments of crisis in relationships. They come about because you both have a version of the story going on in your heads, and without knowing each other’s story the odds of finding common ground are slim.
• Don’t fight via text. Get them on the phone or meet them in person. You will apply the version of the story in your head and miss all the nuances that in-person communication comes with.
• Really listen and try to feel through the other person’s perception. It’s hard to see our own habits, but you can get a glimpse of how others perceive you by paying close attention.

Compliments

• Some believe that others learn through criticism. Paul believes that people learn more effectively through inspiration.
• Compliments lead naturally from inspiration. If you constantly highlight what you like about someone and their behavior, it will naturally reinforce those things in the relationship.
• Keep your eye on the good places you want your relationship to go and focus your language around that.

Compromising

• Compromising can be easily misunderstood. Co-dependent patterns in relationships can form when this becomes too extreme.
• Co-dependency is an excessive amount of emotional dependence on your partner.
• This can also lead to an abusive and controlling relationship.
• The traditional roles of men and women in relationships are changing as society is changing. 60% of all women are in the workforce today.
• People in a relationship can take roles in different spheres of life without being co-dependent if we look at the value of the effort both parties are bringing to the table.
• We each contribute to our relationships in different ways and we all play a role. The real key is to value those roles and come to a relationship with love.
• We all have limitations. It’s important to accept each other for who we are. We each have to compromise and respect the role each person plays in the relationship.
• A common issue among couples going through a divorce is resentment. If you see that pattern in your relationship, it’s important to get some therapy to work through that because resentment will gradually destroy everything.
• Tell your partner what you need when you are laying your problems out to them. If you’re a man, a solution is not always the reason people come to you. Sometimes, they just need you to listen to them and be there for them. They might just be looking for support and understanding, not a hero.

Mentioned in This Episode:

optamerican.com

Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You by Dr Emily Bashah and Hon Paul Johnson

In this episode of The Optimistic American, Paul Johnson and Dr. Emily Bashah sit down with Dr. Mark Goulston, a psychiatrist, executive coach, and consultant to major organizations. He is the inventor and developer of the Surgical Empathy Process, where he uses focused empathetic listening to break through to people and free them of their internal emotional and psychological blocks.

• Paul and Emily introduce Mark Goulston and the uniqueness of his work.
• Mark describes his journey to psychology and how he dropped out of med school twice.
• The three main steps in the Trifecta of Hope and learning to listen to people's hurt.
• Emily shares the approach she uses with suicidal patients - and what it takes to overcome the pain that won't go away.
• Paul and Mark talk about the different forms of extremism and how to deprogram a radicalized person.
• Emily describes the power of active listening instead of forcing your ideals on others.
• Mark reveals how the Magic Paradox technique can be used to show extremists that you understand what nobody else understands.
• Understand that people are listening for something as they're listening to you.
• Mark shares the steps he would take when he feels a conversation is not going well.
• Paul and Mark talk about finding meaning in life.
• For Mark, being an empathetic listener is about seeing the good in people and believing they're doing their best.
• Mark shares how he helps suicidal people see that finding something worth living for is possible.
• Mark describes his role in the OJ Simpson trial - and how detectives unsuccessfully tried to play psychological tricks on him.
• According to Mark, talking to extremists is difficult because they aim to make you feel powerless and helpless.
• When you feel that your spouse is tolerating you, Mark believes it can be painful until you realize how difficult you are and then it's a gift.
• Emily reveals the best thing you can do to support radicalized family members.
• How difficult people work: they set you up and corner you.
• Paul highlights the best way to act when confronted by an angry person.
• Mark's approach to talking to people that drive you crazy.
• According to Mark, most people don't do well with conflict. They either get angry or avoid it.
• Mark dissects the three steps to turn aggressive conflict into healthy conflict. 

Mentioned in This Episode:

optamerican.com

Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You by Dr Emily Bashah and Hon Paul Johnson

In this episode of The Optimistic American, Paul Johnson sits down with Dr. Emily Bashah to discuss how cults and extremist groups suck people into addictive ideologies. They talk about the most dangerous aspects of an addictive ideology, the growth of incel culture, and ways to deprogram an addicted cult member.

• Paul and Emily start the conversation by describing how Ideologies and cults suck people into addictive ideologies.
• Emily describes the difference between a cult and an addictive ideology.
• Paul describes how ideologies become toxic when they see the world in terms of the oppressor and victimhood.
• Emily breaks down the characteristics of cult leaders and what makes them charismatic.
• Paul shares his thoughts on woke culture. 
• Emily reveals how the incel community was formed and how "involuntarily celibate" men become radicalized.
• Emily describes how incels justify their acts of physically harming women.
• Emily shares her experience working with Muslim extremists and people from the incel community.
• Paul confirms with Emily how people in cults are not necessarily crazy or delusional - they just have a biased view of the world.
• Paul and Emily agree that the type of people prone to joining extreme ideologies and cults have a destabilized identity and are looking for meaning in life.
• For Emily, the one consistent thing among extremists and cult members is a loss of identity - which the cult leaders replace with flawed beliefs.
• Paul and Emily explore the dopamine hit people experience when winning an argument - and how wanting to be right all the time can be addictive.
• Emily outlines the chemical changes in the brain during and after an argument.
• Emily and Paul discuss how you can help loved ones trapped in cults or addictive ideologies.

Mentioned in This Episode:

optamerican.com

Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You by Dr Emily Bashah and Hon Paul Johnson

In this episode of The Optimistic American, Paul Johnson sits down with Dr. Emily Basha to talk about the friction that exists between attachment and anti-fragililty when raising children. They discuss what it takes to raise confident kids, how to bring up anti-fragile kids, and ways to support your child's sense of agency.

• Paul and Emily start the conversation by describing what it takes to raise a child correctly.
• Know that people will criticize and judge your parenting style no matter what you do.
• For Emily, you are not forever damned if you had a poor childhood. You can still do something to salvage the situation for you and your kids.
• Emily breaks down the concept of scaffolding your kids and whether it's effective for all types of kids.
• Paul and Emily agree that parents need to give themselves a break - parenting is complex, and you're doing your very best.
• According to Paul, to love your kids, you need to also care for yourself.
• Paul and Emily assess what the research says about caregiver stress and why it's the most predictive component of a child's well-being.
• Emily dissects attachment theory and the four distinct types of attachments.
• Paul shares all of us are leaders in that leadership is defined as the ability to influence people. We are leaders as parents trying to mold our children into leaders.
• Emily and Paul go through the four main types of parenting styles and how they overlap with each other.
• Paul and Emily discuss the concept of anti-fragility. Both agree that kids need attachment but anti-fragile children’s learning can be inhibited by overprotective parents who believe they need to be handled with care.
• Emily is convinced that parents who see their kids as fragile objects rarely raise confident and courageous kids.
• It is an error to believe what doesn't kill you makes you weaker. According to Paul, believing that failure and painful experiences will do lasting damage is setting your children up for long-term failure.
• For Emily, using anti-fragility concepts turns children into confident and courageous persons - but it takes hard work.
• Paul points to behavior psychologist Jonathan Haidt in the Coddling of the American Mind and the challenges and causes of our children being less resilient to what others think of them.
• Emily explains why we need to raise kids who can do what is unconventional despite what others think.
• Paul talks about the consequences of over-intruding in your child's life.
• According to Paul, safety is important when raising kids, but we have over valued emotional safety and studies have indicated this is resulting in higher levels of stress and depression.
• Paul and Emily discuss the hierarchy of agency as it relates to raising your kids.
• Paul and Emily discuss how to teach your children independence and give them the power to actualize their dreams.

Mentioned in This Episode:

optamerican.com

Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You by Dr Emily Bashah and Hon Paul Johnson

The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature by Steven Pinker

The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure by Jonathan Haidt

In this episode of The Optimistic American, Paul Johnson sits down with Dr. Emily Basha to discuss the public sector vs private and how they contribute to economic development in the U.S. They cover how the public sector boosts economic development, ways to be successful in business, why money should not be the primary motivator for going into business, and so much more.

• Paul and Emily start the conversation by describing how the public and private sectors of the U.S. economy work.
• According to Paul, the greatest thing the government has ever done is empower individuals over itself.
• Paul is convinced the private sector is where you can make a positive social impact.
• Emily explains why you should start a business if you want to make a lasting change in the world.
• Paul describes why the world needs more producers and consumers - and how this can help end world poverty.
• Paul reveals the common trait among America's wealthy class.
• Emily and Paul agree that the government's primary job in driving private business success is to stay out of the way.
• Emily and Paul go through what it takes to succeed in business.
• Paul believes great business success only comes from taking great risks.
• According to Paul, anyone can be in business, but not everyone should be. Some of us are better off employed.
• Paul explains why you should not quit your job immediately after starting a business.
• For Paul, spending less than you make is the number one rule of accumulating wealth.
• According to Emily, the first business you go into should be something you're an expert in.
• Emily and Paul describe why money should not be the primary motivator for going into business.
• Paul reveals that most of the billionaires he's met did not start with the goal of becoming billionaires - they all wanted to solve a need in the community.
• Paul explores why customers buy from you - it's not because they like you.
• Emily and Paul go through the common mistakes and failures business people face when launching and scaling their businesses.
• Paul believes the only thing standing between you and success is fear.
• Paul breaks down the top 5 things you must do to go from nothing to something.
• In business, credibility is all you have. Protect it with your life.

Mentioned in This Episode:

optamerican.com

Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You by Dr Emily Bashah and Hon Paul Johnson

In this episode of The Optimistic American, Paul Johnson sits down with Brandon Tatum to discuss race and police relations in America.

They cover some very controversial issues ranging from race relations, the reality of White privilege, police shootings, and the 1619 Project.

• Paul and Brandon start the conversation by discussing Brandon's early life, his relationship with God, and playing competitive sports.
• Brandon explains what it means to be uncoachable and why you should stop taking things personally.
• Brandon shares why he believes too many Black people have a victim mindset that enslaves them in a "mental plantation."
• According to Paul, the answer to a victim mindset is purpose, and chasing happiness is not sustainable. People should focus on finding meaning. Only then can they find true happiness.
• Paul highlights how the victim triangle is keeping you stuck.
• Brandon shares how he discovered a passion for policing after going on a life-changing ride along.
• Paul and Brandon discuss the disconnect between the police and the general public.
• Both Paul and Brandon discuss their involvement with police, Brandon as a police officer and Paul as Mayor of the 5th largest city in the US.
• Brandon reveals what the data says about police killings and racial bias - and why it's rarely about race when a cop pulls you over.
• Brandon points out that many people raise their children to hate the police and that does damage to the child and to society.
• Brandon and Paul agree that the case of Tyre Nichols was not about race, or even systemic racism, but there are groups of people who want it to be about race because it drives their agenda.
• According to Paul, people are so focused on racism especially as it comes to police departments that it actually harms their ability to fix the real issues. He points to the bigger issue of creating relationships between police and neighbors but that requires resources.
• Brandon explains why we need community policing and how defunding the police will only lead to low-quality policing.
• Brandon goes through the best way to interact with the police and how to act when a cop pulls you over.
• When it comes to police brutality, Paul believes the worst thing you can do is trust the media on the right or left because they rarely have facts on what actually happened, and they profit from sensationalized reporting.
• The police kill about 2 to 4000 people a year. Medical malpractice kills more than 300,000 people annually - but the police are the enemy.
• Brandon reveals that white people are shot twice as much as Black people - but you will never see it in the news.
• Brandon and Paul discuss opposition to The 1619 project because it has bad history. It’s designed to divide people, and most importantly, abandon the foundation of our country based upon the Declaration of Independence. We were also abandoning the importance of believing that all people are created equal.
• For Brandon, it's disgusting that some people profit from us living in fear and hating each other.
• Paul describes the link between agency and finding truth.

Mentioned in This Episode:

optamerican.com

Brandon Tatum's LinkedIn

Subscribe to Brandon Tatum's YouTube Channel

Beaten Black and Blue: Being a Black Cop in an America Under Siege by Brandon Tatum

In this episode of The Optimistic American, Paul Johnson sits down with Dr. Emily Bashah to discuss how to master your emotions.

They cover ways to improve your life through emotional mastery, the role of cognitive dissonance in our lives, and how being too analytical can rob you of simple life pleasures.

• Paul starts the conversation by defining emotions and how to differentiate them from feelings and thoughts.
• Emily and Paul discuss the best way to start your journey to emotional mastery.
• Our actions determine who we are, not our beliefs.
• Paul explores how diet and exercise can influence a person's emotions.
• According to Emily, taking the easier route does not necessarily mean you'll feel better; you might feel even worse.
• Emily is convinced you cannot master your emotions when your thoughts and feelings are inconsistent with your behavior.
• Paul shares the discrimination he faced growing up and how you can use rejection to achieve success.
• Emily uncovers the link between self-agency and identity.
• Paul talks about his overly analytical nature and how being too analytical can rob you of simple pleasures.
• Emily and Paul agree that you have to identify an emotion before trying to manage it.
• Emily explains the easiest way to get out of a power struggle - a strategy that works well for both toddlers and adults.
• For Paul, the single biggest inhibitor to real change is fear.
• Paul explains how the labels we put on ourselves influence how we think - if you see yourself as a victim, you'll never escape victimhood.
• Emily and Paul agree that the opposite of being a victim is recognizing that you have choices - and sometimes, your only choice is to view things differently.
• Paul goes through reasons why people need to be aware of their self-fulfilling prophecies - good or bad, these expectations can influence how people see you and how you see them.
• According to Paul, becoming emotionally resilient is ultimately achieved when you build a strong mental fortitude.
• Start by writing down how you feel and look for evidence for and against that belief.
• Paul and Emily discuss the benefits of seeking help from a psychiatrist to help you master your emotions.

Mentioned in This Episode:

optamerican.com

Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You by Dr Emily Bashah and Hon Paul Johnson