Listen, Charlie Brown: We all know podcasts are a big commercial racket.

Children are dropped in a river & left to die, and also a dog punches a cat in the face twice.

A decathlon unfolds in real time, and a boy learns about the loneiness of the long distance runner. Also: a dog wears a mask but doesn't have pupils, and everyone's cool with it.

A dog drinks a mug full of nickels, and a boy is harnessed & whipped.

A football game happens in real time. A boy suffers a devastating concussion. Also, a dog can fly, and everyone's cool with it.

We have a good old fashioned Lump Dump with one-man blandishment department Ken Plume.

Stupid children plant trees in a stupid baseball field and then it rains. Also, a dog puts a bird in a copying machine.

A boy gets a concussion, and is placed in a kennel. Also, a dog reads pornography.

Sad children learn that love is garbage. Also, a dog pelts a child with garbage.

Animator & writer Leigh Lahav brings a fresh perspective on Christmas, America, Stranger Things, and more in our annual revisit of A Charlie Brown Christmas.