What happens when the part of you that speaks up, pushes back, and advocates for yourself goes quiet?

In this more personal episode, Nicola shares her own experience of losing her professional voice during a difficult chapter in her life, the pattern she sees again and again in the managers and leaders she works with, and what it actually looks like to find your voice again.

For anyone who's noticed themselves going quiet at work, or anyone leading someone who has.

Most managers think they have a skills problem. What they actually have is a habit problem, and it is running underneath everything they do without them noticing.

My guest this week is Doug Stoddard, a neuroscience and habit-breaking expert and the creator of Legacy360 Leadership. Doug coaches leaders from CEOs of large organisations right down to people managing a team of four or five, and his work comes from somewhere very few leadership coaches can claim. He built multiple businesses, went through a devastating bankruptcy, and then spent 9 years after that hitting the same walls over and over before he understood what was really going on.

Doug explains what happens in the brain when someone becomes reactive, why unmet expectations sit behind so much of the behaviour you are seeing in your teams, and why your brain attaches your ideas to your sense of self-worth. That last part is why a straightforward disagreement at work turns personal so quickly.

He also shares the story of a team member responsible for around $600,000 of revenue. Technically excellent, but the moment he felt his work was not being valued, he fired off emails that did real damage to client relationships. What changed things was not a training course. It was working out why he responded that way in the first place.

I share something of my own in this one too, about what I learned when I was in hospital three years ago and my own hypervigilant thinking was getting in the way of recovering.

What you will take away

Why what you are not aware of becomes very expensive, in Doug's words, and what that costs a business in practice.

The three things you have to identify before any behaviour actually shifts. Awareness that it is happening, the words going through your head, and the story or identity underneath it.

Why the subconscious only thinks in either/or, and how to spot that language in yourself and in the people you manage.

Why assessments that hand someone a permanent label are part of the problem rather than the solution.

About Doug

Doug Stoddard is a neuroscience and habit breaking expert and the creator of Legacy360 Leadership. He has spent more than a decade helping leaders get to the root of what is driving their behaviour rather than managing the symptoms.

Website: dougstoddard.com

Schedule Call Here:

https://link.dougstoddard.com/widget/

booking/APh7KuyxUVLfZXGUAFy0

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougstoddard1/

About me

I am Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor. I have spent over 40 years working with managers, and most of what I get called in to sort out is not really a process problem. It is a people problem, usually involving a manager who was promoted without proper preparation.

If you are responsible for a layer of managers and the same escalations keep landing back on your desk, The Manager's Academy is my CPD-accredited monthly membership built to give them the practical skills nobody taught them.

Find out more: https://thepeoplementor.co.uk/the-managers-academy/

Book a virtual cuppa with me: https://thepeoplementor.trafft.com/services/virtual-cuppa

Get in touch: [email protected]

If this episode was useful, please leave a rating or review. It genuinely helps other managers find the show.

Mentioned in this episode:

BiteSize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means.

Bitesize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means.

If you've been feeling that bone-deep tiredness that comes with leading a team, you might assume it's your workload. In this episode, Nicola Richardson explores why leadership fatigue is so often misdiagnosed and why the real culprit is usually the conversations you haven't had yet.

From the performance issue that's been skirted around for months, to the feedback you keep rehearsing in your head but never quite deliver, Nicola unpacks why managers avoid difficult conversations (hint: it's not weakness, it's a skills gap), what that avoidance is actually costing you, and three practical things you can do to start carrying less.

Mentioned in this episode:

Bitesize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means.

BiteSize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means.

In this episode of The People Mentor Podcast, Nicola Richardson explores how to have honest, respectful return-to-work conversations when employees prefer remote working.

She shares how to balance business needs with empathy, why blanket rules can damage trust, and how listening and flexibility help rebuild engagement after change.

Nicola also offers practical ways to handle resistance, frame the conversation around shared goals, and support employees through the transition back to the workplace.

Whether you’re a manager or business owner, this episode gives you tools to navigate return-to-office discussions with confidence, clarity, and care.

When caring too much starts to cost you clarity.

Empathy is one of the greatest strengths a leader can have.

But when it turns into over-caring, avoidance, or guilt, it can quietly hold you back.

In this episode, I explore why empathetic leaders often struggle most with being direct, how it manifests in everyday conversations, and the small shifts that turn empathy into clarity rather than compromise.

You'll learn practical ways to balance compassion with courage, so you can speak your mind without compromising your humanity.

Tired of workplace finger-pointing destroying your team?

Discover why blame culture spreads like wildfire through organisations and how smart leaders flip it into ownership.

Discover the neuroscience behind blame, recognise the warning signs, and acquire practical tools to transform toxic conversations into trust-building moments.

Perfect for managers and senior leaders who want to stop firefighting and start leading with confidence.

Managing Managers for the First Time

I thought this would be just like leading my old team, but bigger. I was so wrong.

If This Sounds Like You, This Episode Is Essential:

❌ Your old success moves now create bottlenecks

❌ Direct instructions that used to work are failing

❌ You feel like you're failing at everything

❌ Your confidence has been knocked sideways

❌ You're drowning in detail instead of leading

The Uncomfortable Truth

Managing managers isn't a scaled-up version of your old job. It's an entirely different game - and most leaders are thrown into it without a roadmap.

What You'll Learn

✅ The identity shift that's messing with your head

✅ Why you're avoiding the conversations you need to have

✅ The four critical mistakes every new leader makes

✅ Your inner critic voices and how they're sabotaging you

✅ The reframe that changes everything

Perfect If You're:

Recently promoted to manage other managers

Feeling overwhelmed and out of your depth

Missing the days when you "just got things done"

Ready to stop struggling and start leading with confidence

This episode could be the turning point that helps you see this transition for what it truly is and gives you the clarity to navigate it successfully.

🎧 Listen now - because you're not supposed to have all the answers anymore.

Want more support making this transition? Check out the Conversation Catalyst programs mentioned at the end.

Your workplace conversations are broken. I'm here to fix them.

In this episode, I'm tackling something that is often overlooked - your workplace culture.

Not the glossy values stuck on your website. I'm talking about the authentic culture -the one your team experiences every single day.

You'll discover why you can prep your words perfectly, but if your culture is built on fear or silence, those words won't land.

I'll show you how toxic culture kills conversations before they start, and what healthy cultures do differently.

I'll share real examples of how small cultural shifts can transform even the most challenging conversations.

Because here's what I know after years of working with leaders - when culture is healthy, even the most difficult conversations feel possible.

Ready to create a culture where honesty thrives and every conversation counts?

Hit subscribe, and let's fix this together.

New episodes every week. Perfect for leaders who want results, not excuses.

That stomach-dropping feeling when someone asks for just five minutes of your time?

The way you end up hiding in staff toilets just to get a moment's peace? You're not alone.

In this episode, I dive into the real reason managers struggle to say no at work - and it's not what you think. It's not about being too nice or lacking assertiveness.

The truth is, poor boundaries are actually stopping you from having the conversations that matter most.

I share why those tiny "yes" moments are stealing your energy from the big stuff - like addressing performance issues, team conflicts, and the difficult decisions that make the difference between a struggling team and a thriving one.

You'll discover:

👉 Why your body gives you boundary signals before your brain catches up (and how to listen to them)

👉 The difference between being liked versus being respected as a leader

👉 Practical scripts for workplace boundaries that sound professional, not harsh

👉 A simple nervous system regulation technique you can use before any difficult conversation

👉 How avoiding conversations actually creates more stress for your entire team

👉 Why boundaries are a core leadership skill, not just a personal wellness thing

This episode is for you if:

• You're exhausted from saying yes to everything.
• You're avoiding workplace conversations you know need to happen.
• You want to create space for the leadership work that actually matters.
• You're ready to stop managing by crisis and start leading with clarity.

Stop hiding in the toilets. Start setting boundaries that give you back the headspace to actually lead.

One of the most awkward situations you'll face as a senior manager is when staff come to you complaining about their boss.

After 33 years of managing teams, I know this one inside and out, having been on both sides of it.

These complaints can spiral into massive problems if you get them wrong. Team morale suffers, and productivity declines. But you can sort them out if you know what you're doing.

I'll provide you with the practical steps you need when someone raises concerns about their manager - what to do first, how to conduct a proper investigation, and how to maintain relationships throughout the entire process.

Because how you handle these situations shows your team what kind of leader you really are.

When you get it right, you build trust. When you get it wrong, you lose good people.