Lawyers are, as a group, highly responsible, hard on themselves, and convinced they should be able to handle more than anyone else around them. That combination does not just make for a stressful career. It makes it genuinely difficult to acknowledge that something is wrong, let alone do anything about it.

That is where perfectionism becomes a trap. When you hold yourself to a standard you would never apply to anyone else, leaving starts to feel like weakness, or like you are abandoning the people around you. The result is that lawyers who are deeply miserable keep going, often until their body forces the issue for them.

In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell breaks down why this kind of perfectionism is more common than most lawyers want to admit, where it comes from, and why recognizing it is one of the most important things you can do if you are thinking about leaving law.

1:03 — Why being highly responsible and hard on yourself feels like humility but isn't

2:04 — Why holding yourself to a higher standard than everyone else is actually about ego

3:02 — The vacuum-sealed pod problem and why "everyone makes mistakes" doesn't feel true about you

6:01 — How this mindset makes it hard to leave, from feeling like you're abandoning people to telling yourself you're just weak

7:35 — How to know if you're this person and what it actually costs you

9:17 — Why therapy is worth bringing this up in, even if Sarah's framing annoys you

10:31 — What happens when lawyers don't let themselves leave until their body forces the issue

11:48 — What to actually sit with if this episode resonated

Mentioned In The Perfectionist Trap That Makes It Hard to Leave Law

First Steps to Leaving the Law 

The Former Lawyer Collaborative