In today’s episode re-release from 2021, Dr. Lisa and Dr. Toni discuss habits and Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies framework behind why you keep or don’t keep habits. If you’ve picked up some bad habits or have let go of some healthy habits, you’ll want to listen in to find out why and how to start changing your habits.
Why do you have certain habits?
Trigger – Automatic, autopilot, routine or low energyBehaviour – Healthy or unhealthyResult or outcome – Reward with positive feelings or negative feelings and impactWhat can you do to interrupt automatic habits and behaviours?
Between your trigger and behaviour: pause; set timer, do something you enjoy for 5-10 minutes (eg. journal, go for a walk), then see how you feel
Four Tendencies, as outlined in Better Than Before book by Gretchen Rubin
Distinguishes how you respond to inner and outer expectationsWhy you keep habits or don’tUpholderMeets both inner and outer expectationsSelf-starter, reliable, motivated, thoroughBut can become defensive, rigid, impatient, demandingCan experience burn out and not say noKey strategy for habit change: Does well with scheduling and monitoringQuestionerMeets inner expectations and resists outer expectationsData-driven; desire to create efficient and effective systemsLike to play devil’s advocateIt isn’t enough to be told what to doNeeds to know whyReliable, strong-willed, responsibleCan suffer analysis paralysis – can manage with seating deadlines, establishing limits, consulting authoritiesKey strategy for habit change: Strategy of accountability and clarity with monitoring and collecting data ObligerResists inner expectations and meets outer expectationsPeople pleaser and puts a high value on meeting commitments to others—“I’ll do anything for a client/patient/family member”Requires deadlines, oversight, monitoring, and other forms of accountabilityKey strategy for habit change: Give self treats or rewardsRebelResists both inner and outer expectationsIndependent-mindedUnswayed by conventional opinion, willing to buck social conventionsIn touch with their authentic desiresAct as though ordinary rules don’t apply to themRestless; may find it difficult to settle down in a job, relationship, cityRepelled by routine and planningStruggle with repetitive or mandatory tasksNeeds any behaviour to be convenient and to add to their identityKey strategy for habit change: Strategy of IdentityConsider the following Habit Hacks:
Approach your habits and behaviours with self-love, compassion and forgiveness, as we discussed in Episode 55Be intentional and recognize your autopilot behavioursRemember the whyCommit and schedule it in your calendar Pair it with something else – making your own lemon water while making kids’ breakfastBreak it up into bite-sized chunksBe accountable – text a friend or post on social media, join online communityMonitor progress – track in calendar or journal with gold stars or check marks, post on social media (see Episode 11 to learn more about using a bullet journal)Avoid “all or nothing” thinking – you can start over anytimeResources:
Four Tendencies quiz by Gretchen Rubin: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/
The Alcohol Experiment and This Naked Mind Podcast: https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-registration
This Week’s Mama Must Have:
Dr. Lisa is a big fan of Australian Carob Co carob chips to keep her chocolate intake in check.
Dr. Toni loves Smart Sweets gummy bears and peach rings for a sugar free treat.
Dr. Toni’s next HypnoBirthing info session for expecting parents looking to trust their instincts and their body during labour and birth is happening in May. Join her at https://www.hypnobirthingcalgary.com/register
Dr. Lisa’s Wild Collective in Fall 2021: get on the waitlist: wildcollectivetoronto.com
Email us or connect with us on Facebook and Instagram.
We’d love you to subscribe, leave us a review and a 5-star rating if you enjoyed this episode.
Please tell your perimenopausal mama friends about us, too!
Stay safe and healthy everyone!
The post Episode 257 – Hard Habit to Break: The Four Tendencies (Re-Release) appeared first on The Perimenopausal Mamas Podcast.
