Here’s why although these seem like compliments, they’re not!…
“I wish I had the confidence to wear something like that”
This makes it sound like the person's clothing choice is an act of bravery because of their body size (you wouldn’t say this to a smaller person)👎
“You carry your weight well”
Implies that their size is something they need to manage or "carry" in a certain acceptable way👎
“You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!”
This reinforces the idea that being fat isn’t beautiful👎
“You’ve lost weight, you look amazing!”
Puts value on weight loss as a prerequisite for beauty or worth👎
“I love seeing big people still dress stylish and make an effort in the way they look”
It suggests that dressing well or putting effort into appearance is something unexpected for people in bigger bodies, reinforcing harmful stereotypes that larger people don't typically care about themselves👎
“Good for you for loving your body!"
Suggests that loving a fat body is rare or difficult👎
“You’re not fat, you’re just big-boned!"
This comment tries to dismiss or downplay a person’s size and reinforces that they can’t accept their body/big is not good👎
“I wish I had your attitude and/or confidence!"
Implies that a fat person’s confidence is surprising or that they "shouldn't" feel good about themselves👎
"You look great for your size!"
Suggests that there are separate standards for fat people, implying that someone is only attractive *despite* their size👎
Here’s what you can say in response to backhanded compliments❣️
“I know you mean well, but that comment actually feels backhanded. Please don’t make that comment again” *and redirect the conversation or walk away*
Ask for clarification -
“What do you mean by that?“
This usually makes them think about what they’ve just said and hopefully they realise it’s not ok but if not it allows you to explain to them why what they’ve said isn’t ok
Be straight up! (I use this one with family/friends) -
“Sounds like the Fatphobia/Internalised Fatphobia in you is talking”
This allows them to realise they are being Fat phobic and in turn realise what they’ve said is not ok👎

More examples 👇
"I’m so proud of you for going to the gym/being active!"
This can sound condescending, as if it’s shocking for a fat person to engage in fitness, reinforcing harmful stereotypes about inactivity and laziness👎
“You’re so brave for wearing that!”
Suggests that their body doesn’t usually "deserve" that type of clothing👎
"I could never pull that off!"
Implies that the person is somehow unusual or unexpected for wearing something fashionable or bold👎

My love! Those insecurities you have are learned! And on today's podcast I share with you how you learned them and how to unlearn them! Yasss that right! You can live a life where you don't let your insecurities take over!

If you love this podcast ep pls don't forget to rate and review it! It'll mean the world to me! Love you xx

Eeeekkk! I am soooo excited to have guest Miria Flavell owner of Hine Collection on the poddy this week

We talk all things biz, motherhood, size inclusivity and my fav takeaways from our chat was about loyalty and self belief. There's so much goodness in here!

Miria was also kind enough to give us a discount code, use code TPLC20 for 20% off your Hine gears (As mentioned in the poddy I vouch for her clothing 100% hehe it's the bomb!)

Shop here - https://www.hinecollection.com/

You can also follow Miria and Hine on instagram through the links below -

https://www.instagram.com/miriaflavell/

https://www.instagram.com/hinecollection/

What is a Life Coach & How do I choose a good one?

If you want me to answer one of your q's please dm me on instagram here

Queen! If self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or caring what others think is holding you back from creating content, this episode is for you!

Today, I’m keeping it real about how to create with confidence and post anyway - even when it feels messy.

You don’t have to be perfect. Just start.

Wear the filter if you want, embrace the imperfections, and be yourself.

Confidence comes from taking action, not waiting for everything to be ‘just right.’

Thank you for being here and listening 🧡

I appreciate you so much!

Want to know how to work with me and/or know what's happening in my world? Come join the gram fam, click here

How do you deal with a parent who is set in their ways and constantly brings judgment or shame, especially when it comes to expressing yourself?
💥 Sit down and have an honest conversation with them
💥 Set clear boundaries
💥 Push past the assumptions you have about how they may react and have the convo - give them the benefit of the doubt
💥 Accept that you can’t change them but you get to choose how you respond
💥 If your parent disregards your boundaries, enforce the consequences
💥 You may need to stop hanging around them and work on your beliefs around that
💥 Hang with people you can be yourself around
💥 You must do whatever is necessary to protect your peace
💥 Put yourself first! Like FR!
If you need help with building your confidence to set clear boundaries
I invite you to join me in the 21 Day Confidence Boost program 🚀
It’s where I support you to…
🚀 Speak up with clarity and set boundaries that honour your worth
🚀 Show up powerfully, even when it feels uncomfortable
🚀 Take bold action and challenge the limiting beliefs that have been holding you back
Join me here

Welcome to part 2 of the biz series where we talk about your intentions and I remind you to be very intentional with everything you do in your life! Enjoy!

PS: You can get deets to our 'Build Your Confidence From Inside Out' event here

Hey Queen, please enjoy this bonus ep of a live I did on IG with Thom which is all about our upcoming event!

Here’s all the q’s we answered -
💄Where did the idea come from? And what’s the inspiration behind the event?
💄What does building confidence mean to both of you?
💄How do you become a life coach?
💄What should we expect?
💄How long will the event be? Will there be food and drinks?
💄Is it a lesson where I should bring make up too? What else do I need? Pen? Paper? Do I have to bring anything?
💄Is this appropriate for all levels of make up? Is it beginner friendly? I’ve always wanted to learn basic make up skills?
💄 I feel shy to come alone and need to get brave to show up. Does it matter? I have no girl gang
💄Will you have another one? I’m so sad I can’t make it
💄 Are you planning on hosting one in Sydney?
💄 Where can we get tickets & how much?
Tickets go on sale 5/9 6pm AEST
Make sure you’re on the special list to get early access and $ off here - https://elishatamasi.simplero.com/page/567792

Welcome to my Biz Series queen!

Hey Queen, please enjoy this bonus ep of a live I did on IG. Q is "Do the people around you affect your confidence?"
Yes❣️
If you’re around 5 unconfident insecure people you will be the 6th 💥
When I look back to when I really struggled with my body confidence, looking at the environment I was in…
It made sense
I was around people who would comment negatively on their weight, my weight, everyone’s weight and mock eachother all the time
Once I started moving away from them and getting around body positive people, reading books, podcasts, etc that promoted body confidence
I was then able to create a safe space for me to show up how I wanted 🥰
Look around your life 👀
Are the people around you uplifting and inspiring?
If not, get around people who are 🔥
If you love this korero and need support with your confidence
Check out my program 21 Day Confidence Boost here