The Positive Talk Podcast

Join Chuck and Julie for this powerful conversation about how we can take control of our own HOPE. Hope is the hardest when things are the most difficult. But that’s when we need it the most. We all have the opportunity to re-write the narrative of our story in some capacity and begin to identify ourselves in a new way. This is the fruit of hope. Join us as we learn how to answer this question, “I want to be a person who…”

Is hope something we either have or we don’t or is it possible to actually BUILD our hope?

Hope is not the same as happiness or blind optimism. It is what we feel when we think that life is worth living, that our work is worth doing. Hope is what we have when we have a positive relationship with our existence. It is the deepest of the three emotions. Happiness and optimism cannot exist without hope, but hope can exist without happiness or optimism.

Hope answers the question, “Why should I bother?”

Join Julie and Chuck as they discuss this fascinating topic of HOPE. As they do, every week, this psych-therapist and pastor faith and psychology - All for positive change. 

Unless we have a bit of HOPE that things actually can change, we may as well be constantly walking into a brick wall. Hope is what moves theory into action, hope allows us to move from “Well, maybe that worked for THEM” to “I believe this could work for ME.” 

This week is part four of a topic we all have to deal with - stress in our marriage and relationships and how to handle the resulting conflict that comes from stress. We’ve discussed many different positive approaches to conflict in relationships thus far and today, we are wrapping up our series with the topic of accepting influence. That sounds a bit daunting, but when we talk about accepting influence, we are talking about this truth from Dr.John  Gottman - "To experience a healthy, powerful relationship, you must be able to be open to influence.” What is influence? It’s the ability to receive feedback from someone. It’s learning how to be flexible as opposed to rigid in your relationships.

This week is part three of a topic we all have to deal with - stress in our relationships and how to handle the resulting conflict that comes from stress. Last week, we talked about solvable and perpetual problems and how to move past that feeling of getting “stuck” in a conflict (a term we referenced as “gridlock”). 

We also discussed how 4 things: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are what Gottman marriage researchers say can be disastrous in a conflict. Julie, you also mentioned that some people have tried conflict resolution skills repeatedly and it seems like they just can’t seem to stay calm in conflict. In the effort to focus on moving toward a positive outcome, today let’s help our listeners understand more about those big emotions that can arise during conflict and what to do when they arise.

From emotions as messengers to rethinking how we engage in conflict, this week's episode is a real winner. Thanks for joining in the conversation!~

This week is part two of a topic we all have to deal with - stress in our marriage and relationships and how to handle the resulting conflict that comes from stress. Listening, connecting, honesty, empathy, and vulnerability are all interconnected. A key element for all relationships is trust, and trust is built through connection, listening, honesty, empathy, and vulnerability.

People don’t have strong reactions to things for no reason. There’s always something underneath the surface— it could be protective measures from past experiences, neurological wiring, or spiritual disconnection. One main way to get past gridlock is to start becoming curious rather than judgmental about our partner’s reasoning behind their strong reaction. 

Join Julie and Chuck for this encouraging discussion!

This week, Julie and Chuck tackle a topic we all have to deal with - stress in our marriage and relationships and how to handle the resulting conflict that follows. As a clinical therapist, Julie offers some practical and encouraging thoughts about the triggers that can lead to greater stress and unresolved conflict. Not only is it impossible to live a completely stress-free life, but research shows us that stress is actually a precursor to meaning.  Think about the last time you encountered something meaningful in your life…chances are, there was some kind of stressful moment or season that preceded it. What we know about stress is that our internal and external stressors feed off each other to create conflict in our relationships. Our internal stressors (or, our “triggers”) often lead to behaviors that cause external stress because of how we’ve reacted to those triggers. Likewise, our external environment and how we process it can contribute to internal stressors. A place, a subject, a word, or even a look can trigger someone to respond in a way that leads to excessive stress.

Join Chuck and Julie for this valuable discussion.

Peace is one of the most sought-after pearls of wisdom in life. If you search on Amazon for books on peace, you’ll find more than 50,000 results. The fact that there are so many books on this subject means peace is in high demand and is big business. We live in a stormy sea of anxiety and everyone wants to reach out for something that might keep them afloat. Without peace, there’s no contentment and no happiness. The question is, how do we find peace in this stormy sea of busyness?

Peace - We all want it, it’s attainable, and yet so many of us can’t seem to grab hold of true peace.

Have you ever stopped to think about the actual process of gaining peace in our hearts and minds? What does it entail? How do we do it? Let’s break down what it is and how we can actually attain it, even when there is chaos around us. What’s going on in the brain and body when we are seeking peace? As usual, Julie and Chuck will take the spiritual and the psychological truths and integrate them into a positive and encouraging word for you.

This is a simple three-point grasp on peace…regardless of your present circumstances.

When anger controls you, life gets incredibly hard. So many people suffer because of their anger or the anger of others. Here’s a great life lesson - Wisdom is the ability to control your anger.

Handling anger is an important life skill. It’s incredibly important to understand the purpose of anger. When we feel angry, we tend to go toward one of two extremes psychologically: we either seek to repress it or we don’t hold any self boundaries at all with our internal experience of anger and let it loose and turn into external expressions of rage.

Anger can shatter communication and tear apart relationships, and it ruins both the joy and health of many. Sadly, folks tend to justify their anger instead of accepting responsibility for it.

When we distance ourselves from our anger, we end up blaming others for the hurtful things we say and do out of anger, justifying it as a response to someone else’s action or inaction versus owning it as OUR chosen response. When we do this, we de-personalize our hurtful angry responses and it leads to more division and pain in the relationships around us. 

The truth is that Everyone struggles, to varying degrees, with anger.

We are living at warp speed, and often at the speed of no peace in our lives. Science and faith combine to offer a guaranteed solution to our weary and anxious souls - Quietude. Before you discount this topic, take a listen to Chuck, in this week's 17th episode of the Positive Talk Podcast. It will encourage you and hopefully equip you for brighter, better, more peace-filled days ahead.

If you missed last Thursday’s episode, be sure to listen in as Julie gives us some very real help in creating and sustaining healthy boundaries through the holiday season.