The Purpose Mastermind: Helping Leaders Get Unstuck and Live with Meaning in Work, Marriage, and Parenting

Mark and Adena continue their conversation about toxic relationships. Many people are using terms like "toxic" and "abusive." But do we know how to have a great relationship? 

Toxic behaviors can be invisible, like a gas. Here are 4 examples of behaviors that seem good, but are actually harmful. 

• Living in fear. It can look like protection. 
• Being judgmental. It can look like trying to help someone behave better. 
• Being controlling. It can look like you’re just trying to be helpful.
• Communicating truth in a way that hurts the other person.

Talk to unbiased helpers instead of biased hurt people. It's easy to find someone who will have sympathy with your relationship problem. But it's hard to find someone who will help you build the relationship that will serve your life. 

Reach out to Mark here: [email protected]
Reach out to Adena here: [email protected]

Take our free marriage assessment:  https://app.assessmentgenerator.com/assessment/17360

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Everyone does toxic things at times.

We have to be careful labeling someone as toxic. 

Labels that we put on people can prevent us from moving forward effectively.

Something that is toxic is like a gas that nobody can see. 
Most people are not toxic, but their choices are toxic. 

Levels of toxicity. They need to be dealt with differently. 

• Great people can do toxic things. 
• People who care can do toxic things. 
• But we also have people who don’t care at all that make toxic choices. 
• We can’t put them all in the same box. If you love your family and you’re trying to do things that help, you don’t want someone to write you off because you made a toxic choice.
• Have a grace mask for your spouses gas problems! Not a lighter of judgment! 

Deal with low level toxins! Get help with gas build up.

Here is the link to our marriage assessment: https://app.assessmentgenerator.com/assessment/17360

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In this episode Mark sits down for a conversation with Leland Hall. Leland is a man who spent several years in prison, but he has been out for less than a year. He shares part of his story and how he has gotten back on the path of purpose. 

If you would like to support our work: https://markdelaney.com/donate/

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1. What do you think about conflict? 

2. What do you do during conflict? 

3. What do you say during conflict? 

Mark mentioned his video course in the episode. Here is the link to "How to be the Hero During Conflict." https://courses.markdelaney.com/resolving-conflict

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Freedom is a powerful thought that resonates in all of us. But we struggle to have it. Most people avoid the topic because it seems unattainable. 

In this episode Mark talks about how freedom feels in his personal life. 
1. Nothing to prove....
2. Nothing to hide...
3. No more trying...just being

Here are two resources to help in your journey to freedom:

• Mark's book called "One Step to Freedom." https://markdelaney.com/one-step-to-freedom/
• Mark's video course called "How to Change." https://courses.markdelaney.com/how-to-change

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Help! My marriage has shipwrecked my life. 

This thought arises in every marriage. 

The idea of great love in marriage and family can be exhilarating. It still causes people to lay in bed and dream of what life could be with someone they love. Why? The greatest human experience is the giving and receiving of great love. 

But…. What if the dream gets shipwrecked? A spouse becomes an addict. Someone has an affair. The person you love crushes your heart. 

In every relationship, at some point, the person that made you want to get on board the boat, is the same person that makes you want to overboard. Or push them overboard. In every relationship! These moments will happen.

Can the marriage be fixed? No. But lives can change. The people in the marriage can change and that changes everything. 

The sharks are swirling. 

• Future pain
• Financial ruin
• Regret
• Impact on the kids

The sinking boat represents the life I was made for. The person I was made to be. 

Some people use these moments to live like never before. Other people get used by these moments and never really live again. 

The question becomes, where is my new boat. It’s not about pulling up the old one. It’s about finding a new one. 

• It can be a new boat together. 
• It can be separate boats together. (if you have kids, that is going to be the reality whether you want it or not.) you are going to be together in a contentious way or in a loving way. 

Talk to an unbiased person who has wisdom in these matters! There are many people who have experience in the pain of things like this. But no experience in the redemption of things like this. These people will help you walk in their pain. Other people can help you walk in your redemption story. 

I would say that our role is to provide a safe place for people to float while they figure out the steps to navigate toward the future they were made for. 

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In this episode, Mark and Adena open up the closet of their real relationship over the years. Mark shares about 4 things that Adena did for him that dramatically impacted him for good. 

Here are the four things Mark talked about:
1. You understood my need for me to have fun with friends.
2. You were highly sexual toward me.
3. You never judged me for my weakness.
4. You never disrespected me in front of people. 

Here is a link to donate to our current anniversary campaign:
https://donorbox.org/embed/32k-for-32-marriages-for-mark-adena-s-32nd-anniversary-july-11-2024?language=en

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Every person wants to be driven by something.  The questions becomes, "What are we driven by?"

The purpose driven person has 3 advantages.
1. It aids in building a strong identity.
2. It puts your focus outside of you which is great for mental health.
3. It’s a long range lasting source of motivation.

Thank you to all of you who believe in this mission to help people know their purpose. If you would like to join our team of supporters, here is the link to do that: https://markdelaney.com/donate/

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In this episode Mark sits down with Darryl Turner. Mark and Darryl met a week ago at the gym. Even though they were complete strangers, they had a deep and honest conversation at the gym. Mark asked if Darryl would join him to record the conversation for people to hear. 

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Identity is spoken of often. People say it's important to create a good identity, and people speak of the dangers of a wrong identity. But, how do we explain what identity is? And how do we create it? 

Identity is the desire to know who we are. 
For Mark, he describes the impact of identity on his life.
1. "I have nothing to prove to anyboby. I never had anything to prove to anyone."
2. "I know longer have anything to hide."
3. "I can stop trying, and replace it with being." 

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