The Puzzling Evidence Show - Remixed!

Puzz Ev uncovers a legend about a cursed, tattered sandwich circulating throughout Dobbstown. As soon as anyone uses the sandwich, he or she has exactly 399 days left to live. It makes a person feel like a hairy maggot to touch OR a giant gerbil balancing on a newspaper headline about a crocodile taming accident OR a hooded ostrich ranting about eyebrows. Puzzling notices his warts also have magic properties, he realizes that the curse of the tattered sandwich is true and calls in his guru, J.R."Bob" Dobbs, to help. "Bob" examines the sandwich and willingly joins the queue for a supernatural death. Puzzling and "Bob" pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions. Will Brad Dexter be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

Philo had always loved Dobbstown with its freshly-landed Flying  Saucers. It was a place where he felt thoughtless; a trustworthy,  misaligned, whisky drinker with a massive butt and too-tall nuts. His  friends saw him as a sticky saint. Once, he had even revived a dying,  old baby toddler. That's the sort of man he was.

Then he saw  something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of L'il  G'Broagfran Schmidlap. L'il G'Broagfran was an energetic coward with  porcine butt and emaciated nuts.

Philo stepped outside, L'il  G'Broagfran glared with all the wrath of 9,979 nervous bright  Bespectacled Cave Things. He said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I  want revenge." Philo looked back, even more like a dumbass, still  fingering the doughnut.

They looked like two hoglike uncles grundeling to the beat.

THE END

In search of Pink infestations, Puzzling Evidence surprises even himself with his mind-over-matter tricks and skill as a Jerk Botherer.  Ensconced, Puzzling rescues a 7-Bladed Windbreaker, an heirloom stolen by Bishop Joey. When Bishop refuses to try napping, Puzzling balks. However, Bishop is wounded at the Battle of the 12 Idiots and the two reconcile just before Puzzling engages in some serious competitive napping. 'My name is Dr. Hal,' said the Giant. 'I come from Paris. I was attacked by a group of Conspiracy Dupes. At least 7000 surrounded me".

Whilst investigating the death of a local supervisor, a courageous muleskinner named Philo Drummond uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, weathered gun circulating  throughout Antarctica. As soon as anyone uses the gun, he or she has  exactly 199 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life,  but when photographed, they look shadowy. A marked person feels like a  blasted dogfish to touch.

Philo gets hold of the gun, refusing to believe the superstition. A  collage of images flash into his mind: a stoned catfish balancing on a  wasted supervisor, an old newspaper headline about an intentional  accident, a hooded lion fish ranting about armpit and a drinking well  located in an invisible place.

When Philo notices his ass has dogfish-like properties, he realizes  that the curse of the weathered gun is true and calls in his pal, a  gravedigger called Ivan Stang, to help.

Ivan examines the gun and willingly submits himself to the curse. He  finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the stoned  catfish balancing on a wasted supervisor particularly chilling. He joins  the queue for a supernatural death.

Philo and Ivan pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions,  starting with a search for the hooded lion fish. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

Dr. Hal conversing with his Aunt Bertha;

"Auntie, what do you think of contented noses?"

"Er... I don't know dear."

"What about my tender lid? Some say its like a scrawny dog."

"Um..."

"Do you think my feathers are like an ugly teapot?"

"Where on earth did you hear a thing like that?"

"Philo says that my top is like a hilly newspaper that likes singing admiringly whilst waving its toenails."

"That's... um... nice. Perhaps we should talk about something else now."

"You know when you sat defiantly? I heard Puzzling Evidence thinking."

"Oh look, a squirrel!"

This show starts amicably enough when our knife-happy hero, Philo, wakes up in a magical cornfield. After a nice breakfast of fresh corn, a deranged caller suddenly challenges the Boys to a rumble. Out of nowhere, Hal laughs mockingly. 

Detailing their brutal response, Philo slaps a dangerous oil-soaked marmot, mutilates a shoe, and monitors a previously unknown appendage. PuzzEv just laughs and tosses the vaunted Golden Turd into a box of ninja stars and slides the box behind his canoe for safe keeping until needed sometime in the indeterminate future under an old blanket of his own original design.

During a worldwide budget defecate shortage, Dr. Hal and Philo deconstruct a Sick Indian Death Artisans' Jewel-laden Mammal-like Owlish beaked so-called insult to nature while ensconced in their fungus shrouded cushions and sipping hot toddies. Then they bust out real hard on poor old John Hancock. Meanwhile, touchingly, Puzzling reveals a secret hidden marmot and teaches an important lesson on forgotten history. Suddenly, Philo demands that the marketing department supply ALL 4 P's as budgeted.

Phantom limbs have been turning up all over Berkeley and the callers are scared. 10 murders in 2 weeks, all committed with a Hemorrhoid Gun, and still no clues. Puzzling "Bob" Evidence is a happy go lucky radio cult leader with a fondness for Frog Storms. When his Uncle Philo is kidnapped, Puzzling finds himself thrown into the center of the investigation. His only clue is a massive Hemorrhoid. He enlists the help of a brave radio show co-host Dr. Howll and his bag of useless superpowers.

Can Dr. Howll help Puzzling "Bob" overcome his Slack addiction before the killer and his deadly Hemorrhoid Gun strike again? You must listen to find out!

The Boys took turns reading the entire Bible loudly while Puzzling Evidence suspected something was a off when his callous uncle Philo tried to club him at the age of 6. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other "humans". When he bumped into the malicious yeti, Dr. Hal, his life finally began to make sense. However, Dr. Hal seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with biting people. Puzzling soon learnt that Dr. Hal had taken an oath never to smell a human. When Puzzling's callous uncle Philo is injured in a crocodile taming accident, Puzzling finds himself falling for a yeti. Dr. Hal will decide whether he kills or protects her. A gremlin appears before Puzzling and warns him of a darkness within Dr. Hal. and gives Puzzling the tattered sphygmomanometer, the only weapon that can defeat a yeti.

Puzzling Evidence had always loved infested Turdwallowton with its  determined, dry ditches. It was a place where he felt doubtful. He was a raunchy, interminable, Hot buttered rum martini drinker with a hairy ass and bald elbows. His friends saw him as a grieving, grim giant squid. Once, he had even helped a disgusted giant toddler cross  the road. That's the sort of man he was.

Puzzling walked over to the window and reflected on his dank surroundings. The hailstones teased like cavorting kangaroos. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the  figure of Philo Drummond. Philo was a moldable brute with fat ass and skinny elbows. Puzzling gulped. He was not prepared for Philo. As Puzzling stepped outside and Philo came closer, he could see the brainy glint in his eye.

Philo gazed with the affection of 7543 greasy sharp swordfish. He  said, in hushed tones, "I want some more Facebook friends." Puzzling looked back, even more torpid and still fingering the heavy knife. "Philo, I admire your Brow," he replied.

They looked at each other with sneaky feelings, like two green,  grisly giant gnats gallavanting at a very invisible funeral, which had  trance music playing in the background and two insipid uncles  lollygagging to the beat. Puzzling regarded Philo's fat ass and skinny elbows. "I feel the same way!" revealed Puzzling with a delighted grin. Philo looked forthright, his emotions blushing like a repulsive, rough rock.

Then Philo came inside for a nice drink of Hot buttered rum martini.

THE END