The Puzzling Evidence Show - Remixed!

The Puzzling Evidence Show starts safely enough when our knife-happy hero, Philo, wakes up in a vestigial dreamfield beckoning callers to be active and contact the Show. The Callers begin tumbling in around 3:36 discussing forgotten recipes involving tobasco sauce. Philo reads from and discusses anal passages from Boys Will Be Boys and the Show's  Everything Disclaimer Form. Philo shuffles papers and reads THE SPECIAL NOTE to the memory of 3 minutes ago. Caller wants to talk about Icarus and Daedalus Burning Men. It's like a different word for fun. Utilize the day, it's highly flatulent. Detailing their brutal response, Philo slaps a dangerous oil-soaked fruit pie, mutilates an Arnold Palmer donut, and monitors a previously unknown appendage stump. PuzzEv just laughs and tosses the vaunted Golden Turd into a box of ninja stars and slides the box behind his canoe under an old blanket of his own design.

The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show: It has all the characteristics of a good radio show , but the characteristics get lost on the way there and arrive too late to help.

Tonight's show includes an incredible All-Star Line-up with Puzz Ev, Philo, Dr. Hal, Bishop Joey, Jhim Kennedy, Cardhouse Robot, Phineas Narco, and KROB. Recent Scientific Studies have shown that Puzz's legendarily potent intro drugs will kill like an angel in the casual listeners brains who are already stoned on Show, On the way to the Show, Puzz loses a whole lot of words. Complicated words. Words that we were going to use to describe the intro. Now they are gone. Instead, The Show re-erects a sans-brain Hitler while the Show Team itself gets in the Trunk with grandma, in which they  Find a Hog to get High On. Callers makes strangeness work for them, it's YOUR conspiracy, so Say it RIGHT! Biden as Skinny Costello. What are YOUR Top 10 Reasons to hate me?? We put the FUN in FUNdaMENTALism! SLOW DOWN, you can't snort that much Show all at once. Then is REALLY gets going FAST![It's all about me, and you, and us - BUT NOT THEM! AND MUCH MUCH MORE - too much stuff to write right now. 

Solfugids Underestimating Puzzling Evidence is a mistake made too often everyday. With Phat Man Dee. After retrieving his newer garment, the intro whipped up a frenzy and left out nobody. Suddenly intact, and without remorse Drs. Howwll and Drummond rarely do what they say they will do but act like maybe they will this time but at the last second fizzle out and instead back-up the Show with the listeners still intact while deconstructing gloating as a concept. The Boys were glad to have their garments as well as their marmots back.

Hal sneezed, "thusly, spake Schmidlap."

The Puzzling Evidence Show, yeah, sure it looks easy and sounds fun but it takes down blown out tires and soupcon scrounged from the dump.

"There's a lady in Chicago that's been living there since I was in high  school. She's a very nice, beautiful lady. Her parents don't want any of  this, especially her grandparents or her siblings. She's been there. A  lot of times she'll be going straight to the movies. But that's the only  thing that really keeps her alive. She goes to the movies the day after  she's killed, and the day after she dies. She goes to a movie theater  the day after she's killed; she doesn't get a ticket, she doesn't get  tickets, she's never seen the movie, she's never heard of it again. So  she's sitting there, and there are no lights. And here's one of those  days. I think she's dead, and her father has not been able to see her  for the last three centuries; that's all she's seen. They put her into a  big plane, and she doesn't get out of the plane. I think she's gone  somewhere. So I've given up hope. I haven't given up hope for her. I  think I've decided that I can't just go on. So I went to the movie  theater on Monday. I sat there, and there were two people watching it.  And that's when it finally dawned on me: that they did not know what,  exactly, they were doing with his body. This is a person that I've got  to kill in some way" - ai maniac

I was a kid when it happened. I'd come home and my sister was on the  phone with the guy that was walking around. She was talking to a friend  that was trying to make some kind of money, and he was like, "Do you  think you can make a living from it?" So, she's like, "Um, yeah. I'd  like to take a job as a salesperson to make some money." So I was like,  "I need to do some kind of work and maybe it would make a difference."  So, I went through, like, 2 or 3 other business models i've tried for  years. Because when you talk to people and they come up to you with the  idea of taking a job as a salesperson, you think they're a little  confused. But it's all really simple, because it's very easy to get a  job at one company and to get a business or service and it's so easy to  get something on a daily basis that's going to be a nice investment in  your life.      A friend of mine, in a couple months, I got a job at a local grocery  store that ran on the grocery store business model. I was really  impressed with the fact that it was very common for people to walk to a  store and sit down and buy their food. I ended up buying everything at  $9.99, and I thought it was really, really good. 

In the spirit of vacuum cleaner worship the boys bamboozle the top off of the SubGenius bucket of LIES. This week Philo, Hal, and Puzzling spend little time disguising a butt-load of forgotten books, users, non-existent inconsistencies and some other stuff BEFORE presenting a 5-star whirlwind food service performance that goes beyond the pail or bucket. Inside-Jokes, Overly Extended Concepts, Preposterously Lovable Conspiracy Theories dominate while the callers fight desperately for a word. 

The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. Like an fine old chum bucket filled with half-baked concepts and sweet pickles in an arresting array of florid purification..

'...What's that smell?' Philo felt a stabbing pain in his taint when Puzzling asked this. Philo calmly assured him that most albino cats sigh before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually flamboyantly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Puzzling Evidence because he had found Puzzling's tape deck only 5 days prior. It all started when our host, Puzzling Evidence, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the 5th time this week. Feeling ridiculously concerned, Puzzling stroked a potato, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). The potato offered no succor.

The Brow fiddles with your hind-brain from the back-side and then tells a story, then Puzzling, Philo and Hal inhabit a former, more relaxed leisurely time drinking too many Tom Collinses. Philo finally asks Dr Hal a really hard question while Hal demures, avoiding Philo's masterful play. The Boys are tired of whipping the show into a frenzy and then overthinking it, they practice the time honored art of avoidism, while their favorite Phones ring off the walls directly into the trash can, unanswered and unloved. Callers must talk to each other and solve world hunger while the Boys can only contemplate breakfast.

Puzzling's unfathomable goodness makes Satan his bitch but a long, long time ago in a distant galaxy, leaving the corpulent planet Poontangus, a group of SubGenii fly toward a distant speck which gradually resolves into an abandoned space church. Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by an Evil Philo Drummond clone, a funky orc capable of space highway mopery and even mindcrapping. Terrified as a little girl, Dr. Hal flees the Empire, with his protector, Admiral Puzzling Evidence. They beat feet for Dobbstown. When they arrive, a fight breaks out. Evidence uses his cheap plastic seven-bladed windbreaker of Slack to defend Dr. Hal and together they decide it's time to steal a genuine Bobmobile and shoot their way out. Evidence must fight to save Dr. Hal but when he unearths a giant frozen sausage, the entire future of the corporate galaxy is at stake all the while Suicide Man's phone sucks real bad.

The Show opens with Rutabaga "Sigmund" Oswald's girlfriend because yesterday's contest was on the 49th of Froptober. Then Your Hard-Hitting Bleeding-Edge Wide-Eye-Ball News Team, standing shyly in their daintiest  undergarments, Delivers the Up-To-The-Minute Cutting-Edge-News both Bad/Good and Other. The Show extrapolates the minuscule and questionable content far longer than it's actual substance should allow, even into the sanctified and union mandated "break" period. The Boys step back from the Show and take a deep breath.

The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the massive Johnson of a heaving M'muh radio show. But their diction is too good and they are all three too handsome to be allowed to leave the building.