The Ask Dr. Hal Show temporarily takes over the Show's empty cranial socket until the "Other" arrives, Suicide Man saw The Eclipse and jabbers on about it, callers collide like cavorting continents, rules for having sex with the Show are enumerated and belabored, a tempting easy recipe for success is tossed out with the trash and numerous potential million-dollar opportunities are strategically avoided, online warriors' most powerful attempts at virtual megalomania are temporarily sidetracked, Top Commenters egos spill out of the basement confines fully naked and pitifully endowed.

The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the fiction of a Gary G'broagfranning radio show. But the fiction is too true and forces painful self-reflection. 

The seaside town of Dobbstown holds a secret. Dr. Hal has the perfect life working as a monkey fluffer in the city while fropping freely with his friend, Philo Drummond. However, when he finds an enchanted guillotine in his cellar, he begins to realize that things are not quite as they seem. A resurrection leaves Dr. Hal with some startling questions about his past, and he sets off to magical Dobbstown to find some answers. At first the people of Dobbstown are funny and daring. He is intrigued by the curiously stable toenail collector, Puzzling Evidence. However, after he introduces him to hard video games, Dr. Hal slowly finds himself drawn into a web of vandalism, decadence and gluttony. Can Dr. Hal resist the charms of Puzzling Evidence and uncover the secret of the enchanted guillotine before it's too late, or will his demise become yet another Dobbstown mystery?

Hedley Lamar's pocket lipstick cell phone buys old movie talk from the Boys until it gives way to a Colonel Sanders talk-fest back when there was only 5 herbs and no spices, the col sold his 1st empty bucket at 12 years old until he thought of putting a live chicken in it. Egg Dough Boiling grease finger licking mixed with 3 more herbs and 1 spice with more dough covered live chicken. Our assurance to you: No necrophilia. Double fried brow diddled chicken feather finger looking good then sold to tiny school fiends until finally all 11 herbs and spices were added. KFC double-dipped double crust hand dipped dobbs dotted alien finger lickin eyes finally the real all 11 and the Nazi-hatin' recipe is complete. Philo offers his nostril mining tips and tricks. Crappy but free schwag.

The Show opens with Hal's Pocket Spider scuttling in and out of his pants because yesterday was the 49th. Then Your Hard-Hitting Bleeding-Edge Wide-Eye-Ball News Team Delivers the Up-To-The-Minute Cutting-Edge-News both Bad/Good and Other. Callers collide, rules for having sex with Show Squid are enumerated. Shoeing formerly useless barefoot appendages. General Hal's irritating King Loud background music is killing the Show softly with its song.  A rift in the tear in the fabric of the universe's blankey makes kids cry silently into their pillow filling it up with the salty tears of childhood pain along with Jesus's foreskin. Ancient relics are debunked including the Shroud of Bozo proving he had only had one arm having previously been chewed off after a drunken tryst. Looking for it makes it disappear. Do Evil Scientists exist? The dangers of picking up hitchhikers with an un-de-beaked prairie squid in the back seat. The callers are repetitive and indistinct yet still there. Dr. Hal and Philo elaborate ambiguous sales techniques and arcane ending formulas.

The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show podcast. It has all the Big Red Johnson of a heaving m'muh radio show podcast compilation. But their diction is too good and they are all three too handsome and mature to be allowed to leave. 

Boss Stang

A Short Story

by Little Philo Drummond

Ivan Stang had always hated Dobbstown's pobuckery Main Kitchen with its dangerous, deadly, bloody Knife Cellar. But it was a place where he felt threatened yet relaxed.

He was a bossy, incredulous, hot buttered rum martini drinker with giant stinky armpits and midgety butt cheeks. His friends saw him as a salty, cantankerous old skull farmer. Once, he had even made a cup of tea for the Giant Nutsack. That's the kindly sort of man he was.

Ivan walked over to the window and reflected on his dark and dank surroundings. The rain hammered like rabid thinking polecats.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Dr. Hal Owwll. Dr. Hal was a snooty animal with scrawny stinky armpits and micro-cephalic but lumpy butt cheeks.

Ivan gulped. He was not prepared for deadly Dr. Hal.

As Ivan stepped outside and Dr. Hal came closer, he could see the annoying glint in his eye.

Dr. Hal glared with all the wrath of 5,944 peculiarly angry chupacabras. He muttered under his breath, in hushed tones yet incredibly audible, "I still want a sacred t-shirt."

Ivan looked back, even more blissful but still fingering the eazor-sharp sword while eyeballing Dr. Hal's ample neck. "Dr. Hal, please take the sourdough out of the fridge," he replied.

They looked at each other with contemplative feelings, like two gigantic, grieving gerbils fropping at a very rude Annual Work Review, which had rockabilly music playing in the background and two thoughtful broom-toting uncles sweeping to the beat.

Ivan regarded Dr. Hal's scrawny stinky armpits and micro-cephalic butt cheeks. "I feel the same way!" revealed Ivan with a delighted grin.

Shyly, Dr. Hal looked grumpy, his emotions blushing red like a just mis-used razor sharp pocketknife.

Then Dr. Hal came inside for a nice drink of hot buttered rum martini.

THE END

Praise for Boss Stang

"I feel like I know Ivan Stang. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."- The Daily Tale

"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the drizzling shits."- Enid Kibbler

"Saying the rain hammered like rabid thinking polecats is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."- Hit the Spoof

"I could do better."- Zob Gloop

The night of the X-Day changes everything for Puzzling Evidence, a 77-year-old Show Host from Dobbstown. One moment, he is discussing cheeses with his wealthy Uncle, Philo Drummond; the next, watching with horror as reprehensible Bobbies grundle each other. He knows these Bobbies came from Mountain Home but he can't prove it - at least not without some poisonous phonebooks. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. This one has only 1 hr.  25 mins hours of a 5 hour show. So to say it is a five-hour show would be a flat out lie+.  The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the spacesuits of a well stocked Starship. But the suits are too loose and smell like somebody got sick in them.

Dr. Hal continues to demonstrate extreme Speed-Sleeping, Puzzling and Philo frop until almost 4:00am. The callers are starting to adapt. Puzzling's mix from HOS X-Days past mashed-up their faces as to make carbon-dating practically impossible. SHOCK SHOW: Dr. Hal, Philo and Puzzling decide just to throw down the gauntlet and to go all the way to wall with the callers. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the gonads of a well hung radio show. But the pants are too tight and cramp our style hence the pantsless approach the ladies like.

The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the parts of a groundbreaking radio show. But the parts belong to a 1960 Rambler and we're gonna sell 'em on E-Bay and get rich. Tonight, the callers are pro-actively non-existent. Then Dr. Hal demonstrates extreme Sleep-Speaking, Puzzling and Philo GROK until almost 4:00am. Then the callers become repetitive and indistinct. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the stench of a fartbreaking radio show. But the farts belong to a ghost and we're gonna fry 'em for breakwindfast.

The Show immediately goes rogue and starts out teasing "The Boys" by disassembling itself and hiding the important parts under the board.  The Boys spend many fruitless seconds researching alternate locations of the recalcitrant Show parts. Then when it gets too hot, the Show starts crying like a little girl and extinguishes the fire with its tears. But why do they keep talking to this "Steve" guy? The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the legs of a spider show. But the legs are too long and make it hard to walk through doorways without turning sideways.  Get your red hot SubGenius Skull Farming Tree Walking Brain Socket Doktors Improvisational Live Radio Show Streaming Consciouslessness Live 12 Inch Radio Frop here!

Philo, Puzzling and Hal tell the tale of "drugs and sales" to provide a partial history of sacks and bags; Inhibiting Factor describes his Hot Rod while Callers try to redirect the Show. Incredulity gives way to mundaninity. Puzz Ev re-lectures the callers. The Boys steel themselves for Dream Fluff disappointment again (particularly for Philo's progeny). The Callers vote to start a riot in order to get free donuts. The Boys attempt to lay existential blame while climbing with Monte on Mt. Mount. Homework assignment: Basque whistling. Get your red hot SubGenius Skull Farming Tree Walking Brain Socket Doktors Improvisational Live Radio Show Streaming Consciouslessness Live 12 Inch Radio Frop here!