Do you hear words like "compersion" and "metamour" and cringe internally? Or are you someone who is excited to have in-group markers like talking about a Kitchen Table relationship? This episode talks about when these terms are useful, when they're less so, why we use them, and the definitions of some of the most common ones.

I maintain the most frequently cited Polyamory Glossary online, at https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/polyamor... but I am not an unconditional jargon booster - learn more in today's episode.

(and make sure you and your partners are on the same page when using terms!)

See you next week, when hopefully I start to get better at YouTube. You can find me at most other socials @readyforpolyamory, and I'll be teaching a class for Wicked Grounds on Jan 26 on Negotiation for Edgeplay (because I teach kink stuff not just polyam stuff) and you can find links to all my upcoming things in my linktree: https://linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory

In a conversation that ranges a little beyond both books, Laura and Andrea Zanin discuss:

What is Post-Non-Monogamy?

More than two, second edition, and what parts of it Andrea is most proud of putting into the world, as well as the process of taking the ten year old book apart and putting it back together.

This conversation got a little deep, but also very funny, and I hope you all enjoy it. Andrea Zanin was an absolute delight to interview as well as to read, and you should go out and get their books.

You can get Post-Nonmonogamy and Beyond from Bookshop here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/post-nonmonogamy-and-beyond-more-than-two-essentials-guide-andrea-zanin/20579162?ean=9781990869556

And likewise More Than Two, Second Edition can be found here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/more-than-two-cultivating-nonmonogamous-relationships-with-kindness-and-integrity-eve-rickert/20964103?ean=9781990869587

You can find Laura & her upcoming book events here: https://readyforpolyamory.com/events

Eve Rickert, co-author of both editions of More Than Two, is on the show to discuss the process of creating More Than Two, Second Edition, what about it is different, why a second edition, and more.

You can get More Than Two, Second Edition anywhere books are sold, with the official release date Sept 2, but preorder from the links provided by Thornapple Press here to support them: https://thornapplepress.ca/books/more-than-two/

You can follow MTT 2nd Edition on IG here: https://www.instagram.com/mttbook/

Laura and Ready for polyamory have a big book release coming up as well; get Monogamy? In this Economy? before it comes out Aug 21, check out tour stops as they get added, class dates, and more at my linktree here: linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory

"In Parable of the Sower, Octavia Butler has that affirmation, change is the only constant - and I think that's an important way to look at these life transitions. We can't be trying to stop change from happening, for us or for our kids."

Libby Sinback of Making Polyamory Work sits down with Laura in this episode to discuss big life changes this week, and how they affect us, as polyamorous folks - especially through the lens of the two of us as polyamorous parents. Much is made, often, of trying to minimize changes in our lives - at least as they'll impact our families - but the reality is that our lives can be seen as a series of choices and changes, so today we talk about lenses, questions and strategies for listeners to consider and take away as they move through big changes, expected and not, and "positive" or "negative."

(Remember - a "negative" change like a divorce, deescalation or move out might still be a net positive in the lives of those involved, but have a bunch of bumpiness or messiness on the way - so let's think of ways to navigate them while remaining in our values to the best of our ability.)

Libby Sinback is a relationship coach, educator, and host of the podcast, Making Polyamory Work. She helps people who want to live and love outside the status quo break out of the harmful relationship patterns that are holding them back from nourishing, authentic, boundless love in their life. Libby believes love is why we are here and how we heal. You can find Libby at her website http://libbysinback.com, her podcast https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork , and her upcoming group the foundations of open relating here:https://www.libbysinback.com/foundations-of-open-relating.

She also wrote the foreword to Laura's upcoming book, Monogamy? In this Economy? Finances, Childrearing, and Other Practical Concerns of Polyamory, which you can find for preorder here: https://bookshop.org/a/101457/9781805011187

Non-men can join Laura for the women&femmes support group every second Sunday, the upcoming one May 19 has all proceeds donated to a GFM for a Palestinian family: https://femmessupport5.eventbrite.com

Laura is moderating (and occasionally giving snarky commentary to) a class by the brilliant Dr. Marie Thouin called Compersion and You based on her new book, the first research-based book on compersion, on 06/06/2024, join us! http://compersion.eventbrite.com

Laura and Sarah Casper will be co-teaching a class on 06/09/2024, Building and Breaking Boundaries, come check it out and bring your questions about boundary setting in interpersonal relationships: http://buildingboundaries1.eventbrite.com

Special Guest: Libby Sinback.

Laura sits down with Evie Lupine to discuss kink, asexuality, and non-monogamy and polyamory and how these intersect for Evie as well as the larger community.

Evie shares her experience as an asexual person who finds that a lot of nonmonogamous dating includes "the social dance where people expect the first date to be a nicety they must complete to get to the sex"; and "even folks who express a lot of understanding verbally and have other partners can seem confused or disappointed when it remains that I'm asexual several months into a relationship." We talk a little about the contrast between the polyamorous "public face" of "it's about the LOVE not the SEX" versus her actual lived experience.

The episode actually opens with a detailed discussion of the many platforms that have come and gone for sharing information on sexuality, nonmonogamy, and kink, and the ways it's informed and changed the actual experience of end users and of educators and creators, as well.

Evie Lupine is a YouTuber, asexual sex educator, and loud advocate for understanding in the BDSM community online. You can find twice-weekly videos from her on non-monogamy and kink on her YouTube channel, and some additional information and services (she does advice!) on her Patreon; Twitter and Instagram have pages for her but are somewhat disused.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/EvieLupine

Laura sits down with Alex Alberto, author of Entwined to discuss the new memoir, polyamorous media representation, storytelling, and more.

Buy Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home. Paperback, ebook, and audiobook available.

Subscribe to Entwined Mag for stories of polyamory, friendship, and family

Follow Alex Alberto

Check out Laura's upcoming [events](readyforpolyamory.com/events), the women & femmes support group (every second sunday - [first meeting March 24](femmessupport1.eventbrite.com) ) and preorder Monogamy? In This Economy? on Bookshop

Special Guest: Alex Alberto.

Evita Sawyers has been polyamorous for over a decade and is a relationship coach who is well known for creating the instagram series "Today's Polyamory Reminder." Her book "A Polyamory Devotional," out October 20 from Thornapple Press, is 365 daily prompts for thinking through different issues and angles of interpersonal relating, filtered through a lens of nonmonogamy.

On today's episode she discusses with Laura how the same issues of nonmonogamy that drive these reflections can drive self-knowledge that serve all our relationships, as well as discussing her work with Chanée Jackson-Kendall on the Metamour's Bill of Rights, and general ideas of growth via conflict and discomfort.

Find A Polyamory Devotional here: https://www.amazon.com/Polyamory-Devotional-Reflections-Consensually-Nonmonogamous/dp/1990869238

Find Evita on Instagram @lavitaloca34, and her linktree at https://linktr.ee/lavitalocasawyers

So much of polyamorous cohabitation advice implies that space is easy to come by - that you just have a guest room, or that it's simple to have silence or an extra floor to go to. But for many polyamorists this isn't the case, logistically. In cities and apartment living especially, space, distance, and existing parallel to your partners' relationships can feel like imaginary concepts that maybe other people get to have. Laura and Gabrielle Noel (@gabalexa on social media) discuss the practical and emotional realities of living in small spaces in today's episode.

Follow Gabrielle everywhere @gabalexa, or leave the whims of platforms out of it and keep in touch via her website, https://gabalexa.com, where you can find a selection of her writing and links to much of her work.

Laura will be teaching a workshop on various forms of polyam cohabitation with Leanne Yau on October 15, you can still get tickets here: https://polyam-nest.eventbrite.com and find her work in general at readyforpolyamory.com.

Special Guest: Gabrielle Aelexa Noel.

Polysaturation is the state of realizing you have enough relationally - that more would be too much. This can be a really beautiful, welcome thing - or a really challenging one. It can make folks feel like they've done something wrong and that's why their internal warning lights about energy or capacity to handle issues with partners are going off. The answer is seldom simple - these are people we care for and are relating to, we aren't going to "get rid of" them - but often, there are times in life when we need to recalibrate in order to care for ourselves. So how do we do that?

This week's podcast episode is all about this.

Love, sex, kink, and non-monogamy make up the bulk of Violet Fawkes’ work as a sex & pleasure educator. She is a long-time relationship anarchist and kinkster, sprinkling sex-positivity wherever she goes. Helping you find self exploration, self-empowerment, and living your best, most authentic intimate life is what Violet’s work is all about.

You can find Violet at violetfawkes.com

@FawkesViolet on X

@Violet_Fawkes on Insta

@[email protected]

@violetfawkes.bsky.social

and you can find her newest, a dildo collab with Freely Toys, here: https://freelytoys.com/freely-x/violet-fawkes.

You can find Laura and @readyforpolyamory all over during October and November. On Oct 9, she'll be teaching for Wicked Grounds, a class on Narrative Ageplay. On October 15, Laura and Leanne Yau of polyphiliablog are collaborating on a workshop called The Polyamorous Home, which we hope you'll join us for! In November, back at Wicked Grounds teaching Home for the Polydays, a class about managing expectations for the holiday season with your polycule; and there are 3 spaces left for the November [Growth Cycles Retreat](readyforpolyamory.com/retreats) in CT which Laura is facilitating, if you and your partner(s) would like to attend.

Special Guest: Violet Fawkes.

"Matrescence - the process of becoming a mother - is something we only talk about in the most glorified tone culturally, and it is in fact really difficult and isolating and kind of awful - and holding that duality can be enormously challenging and shameful for moms who already lack support."

"I talk about non-monogamy in the book both because I’m from the Bay Area and it’s everywhere but also because I wanted to examine social changes and social frameworks that might be available as alternatives to just straight policy changes that can build some of this support for mothers that’s clearly needed. So one of the moms whose rage story I share is in a non-monogamous relationship."

On today's episode, Laura sits down with Minna Dubin, author of Mom Rage, to discuss motherhood, the force of social expectations and stepping outside of them, the ways non-monogamy can be a positive force of support for family life, and more. The book examines the universal issue of maternal rage, its roots, and social changes that might improve the situation for mothers.

Pick up Mom Rage at your local bookstore, or online at: https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/minna-dubin/mom-rage/9781541601307/ and follow her on Instagram @minnadubin.

The Ready for Polyamory Podcast will be back next week with Violet Fawkes as our guest chatting about polysaturation - and you can find Laura on all the socials @readyforpolyamory and upcoming class info at www.readyforpolyamory.com/events. There's three classes coming up in October - go give it a look! Only 4 spaces remain for the November Growth Cycles retreat in CT, so if you're interested in an intensive weekend working on relationship agreements and communication skills, check out info at readyforpolyamory.com/retreats