The Real Intelligence Podcast with Jenny Swim

In this episode of The Real Intelligence Podcast, Jenny Swim explores the gift of pain—and why it remains one of our greatest teachers, even though we instinctively try to avoid it. Whether emotional, social, spiritual, or physical, pain often triggers familiar reactions: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

Together, we’ll:

• Rethink our relationship with pain
• Recognize our automatic patterns
• Explore practical tools for relating with and moving through discomfort with greater intelligence and intention

If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who might benefit from a gentler, more empowering way to understand and navigate their own experience with pain.

Additional Resources:

Salk Institute for Biological Studies. (2023, June 21). From injury to agony: Scientists discover brain pathway that turns pain into suffering. https://www.salk.edu/news-release/from-injury-to-agony-scientists-discover-brain-pathway-that-turns-pain-into-suffering/

Truman, K. K. (1989). Feelings buried alive never die. Bantam. https://a.co/d/i4GKjsL

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High performers are trained to push, optimize, stay sharp, and deliver. But what if your body is quietly deciding your timeline—and you’re fighting it without realizing it?

In this episode of The Real Intelligence Podcast, Jenny Swim and Dr. Cynthia Sumner break down why your body is often ahead of your mind, signaling emotional gaps, stress limits, and belief patterns long before you consciously notice them.

This episode explores:

• How physical symptoms can act as your body’s warning system
• The emotional “gap work” needed to move from where you are to where you want to be
• The key questions to ask when you aren't getting what you want
• How to partner with time instead of controlling or fighting it
• Real client stories demonstrating the power of pacing for long-term results

If you’re a leader, parent, or professional who often pushes past your body’s signals, this episode shows how trusting timing—and listening to your body—can help you achieve your goals more sustainably, intuitively, and effectively.

Connect with Dr. Cynthia Sumner at: www.cynthiasumner.net  or on Instagram @thehealingfood

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One year ago, Come Home to You invited you to reconnect with yourself and your inner wisdom. Today, the journey evolves. In this milestone episode, Jenny Swim introduces The Real Intelligence Podcast and explores what real intelligence truly is—how we understand and move through the world.

We break down the three key elements of real intelligence: how we perceive ourselves, how we perceive the world, and the multi-dimensional intelligence channels that help us engage effectively between the two.

Whether you’re a returning listener or new here, this episode lays the foundation for why accessing your own real intelligence can expand—or limit—the possibilities in your life and leadership.

*Special thanks for design and rebrand help to Lexi at https://www.legacybranding.design/ and Christine at https://mindfulnessforlife.ca/

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Breakthroughs aren’t smooth — they’re messy, uncertain, and often feel like failure. But what if those moments of chaos are signs your system is reorganizing for something greater?

In this episode of Come Home to You, Jenny Swim unpacks the real science of breakthroughs — what neuroscience, nature, and even the CIA’s Aldrich Ames investigation reveal about transformation.

You’ll learn:

• The four predictable stages every breakthrough follows
• Why frustration and confusion are signs of progress, not failure
• How to reframe tension as intelligence reorganizing
• How leaders can stay clear and grounded in times of disruption

If you’re a leader, parent, or creator navigating change, this episode helps you recognize the signals of growth — and walk through your next breakthrough with wisdom and steadiness.

Additional Resources:

Special thanks to Arielle Groves for her "Disneyland" metaphor.

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Have you ever felt something was off but couldn’t name it? Maybe it’s tension at work, restlessness in a relationship, or an emotion you can’t quite identify. That’s the fog of awareness without the clarity that leads to action—and it can quietly drain your energy.

In this episode, we explore how the simple act of naming what’s really happening can spark powerful aha moments—turning vague awareness into focused action. You’ll discover:

• Why identifying what’s present releases energy, clarifies information, and connects you with the power of truth-telling
• How to use tools like Name It to Tame It and The Five Whys to uncover root causes
• How to practice identification without attaching it to your identity

Featuring the story of how Airbnb doubled bookings after identifying one overlooked problem, this episode shows how the practice of identification moves you out of fog and into focus—clearing the way for the results you want.

Connect with Junto Coaching: https://www.juntocoaching.com/

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Boundaries are meant to safeguard our wellbeing—but sometimes the very limits we set start working against us. A boundary that once created safety can become a wall that blocks connection, growth, and even innovation.

In this episode of Come Home to You, Jenny Swim explores what happens when boundaries backfire. You’ll learn how to recognize the difference between healthy limits and counterfeit boundaries that only appear to serve you. Jenny shares practical tools and questions to help you evaluate your current boundaries and decide when to strengthen, soften, or reimagine them.

Listen in to discover:

• How to tell if a boundary is protecting your well-being or keeping you stuck
• Why flexible boundaries are key to maintaining the integrity of your whole-person system
• Simple practices for adjusting your boundaries based on real-world feedback
• How boundaries shape your energy, choices, and relationships in everyday life

If you’ve ever wondered whether your boundaries are helping—or holding you back—this conversation will give you clarity, perspective, and practical next steps.

Additional Resources:

• Special thanks to Blake Russon for his engineering insights on stress testing and system integrity.
• Episode 18: The Capacity Code: Unlocking the Power of Pacing, Presence, and Rest
• Episode 20: The Gift of the Gap: Leaning Into Uncertainty to Grow

Connect with Junto Coaching: https://www.juntocoaching.com/

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Empathy is a powerful connector—it allows us to lead, parent, and relate in ways that are authentic, supportive, and deeply human. But when empathy slips into over-identifying or carrying someone else’s pain as our own, it can quickly lead to overwhelm and burnout.

In this episode, Jenny explores how to practice empathy in ways that strengthen connection without draining your energy or sense of self. You’ll discover:

• The three types of empathy—and how each shapes your daily interactions
• The difference between healthy empathy and the kind that blurs your boundaries
• What neuroscience reveals about why empathy can feel exhausting (and how to shift this)
• Simple strategies to help you stay grounded while still deeply caring for others

Whether you’re leading a team, raising a family, or simply navigating relationships, this episode offers a fresh, practical lens on empathy—so you can show up with compassion and clarity without losing yourself along the way.

Additional Resources:

The Empathy-Compassion Gap – Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/science-backed-compassion/202504/the-empathy-compassion-gap

Empathy Is the Most Important Leadership Skill – Forbes
https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2021/09/19/empathy-is-the-most-important-leadership-skill-according-to-research/

Leading with Empathy and Resilience: Keys to Positive Outcomes in the Workplace – BizJournals
https://www.bizjournals.com/bizjournals/news/2024/10/07/leading-with-empathy-and-resilience-keys-to-positive-outcomes-in-the-workplace.html

4 Advantages of an Empathetic Leadership Style – Australian Institute of Business
https://www.aib.edu.au/blog/leadership/4-advantages-of-an-empathetic-leadership-style/

Healing Family Conflict With Empathy and a Calm Approach – Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/202412/healing-family-conflict-with-empathy-and-a-calm-approach

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What if the beliefs holding you back didn’t even start with you? In this episode, we’re diving into the hidden influence of family generational patterns—the beliefs, behaviors, and roles that get passed down through families, often without us even noticing.

We’ll talk about what these patterns are (and why they’re so sneaky), how to spot when you’re living out an inherited script instead of your own story, and a few simple questions that can help you pause, notice, and choose a different way forward.

Whether you’re leading a team, raising a family, or simply wanting more freedom in your own life, this episode is here to remind you: the patterns you carry aren’t set in stone. You can recognize them, understand them, and choose the path forward.

Additional Resources:

Dashorst, R., Schulz, A., & Wagner, P. (2023). Children of Holocaust survivors: The experience of engaging with a traumatic family history. Genealogy, 7(1). https://www.mdpi.com/2313-5778/7/1/20

Yehuda, R., Daskalakis, N. P., Bierer, L. M., Bader, H. N., Klengel, T., Holsboer, F., & Binder, E. B. (2016). Holocaust exposure induced intergenerational effects on FKBP5 methylation. Biological Psychiatry, 80(5), 372–380. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2015.08.005

Wolynn, M. (2016). It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle. Viking.

Ancona, D. A., & Perkins, D. N. T. (2022, January). Family ghosts in the executive suite. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2022/01/family-ghosts-in-the-executive-suite

Barrett, L. F. (2017). How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 

Searce, T. (2024, June 14). The Holocaust and generational trauma. How did the Holocaust affect…? University of Arkansas. Retrieved from https://howdidtheholocaustaffect.uark.edu/2024/06/14/the-holocaust-and-generational-trauma

Ressler, K. J., & Dias, B. G. (2013). Mice can inherit learned sensitivity to smell. Emory University News Center. Retrieved from https://news.emory.edu/stories/2013/12/smell_epigenetics_ressler/index.html

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How do you get past “Fine,” “Good,” and “Okay” when talking with your kids? In this episode of Come Home to You, Jenny Swim answers a listener’s question about asking curiosity-based questions that feel natural—not like an interrogation. Building on Episode 23 (The Power of Questions), Jenny shares five practical techniques to create deeper, more engaging dialogue: making it fun, following your child’s interests, asking better questions, modeling the openness you seek, and respecting the natural rhythm of conversation.

Whether you’re parenting, partnering, or leading, these tools will help you move past surface-level exchanges and into authentic, connection-building dialogue.

Connect with Junto Coaching: https://www.juntocoaching.com/

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What if play isn't just for kids—but a powerful, untapped instinct that fuels emotional intelligence, creativity, and leadership? In this episode, Dr. Patricia Hohlbein joins us to challenge our cultural conditioning around productivity and "wasted time," revealing how play is actually essential to how we think, connect, and thrive.

We explore Patty’s fascinating doctoral research on the science and instinct of play, its ability to change your brain, and how adults can reconnect with play to unlock creativity and flow in both work and life. You’ll learn how a walk in nature, listening to music, or even a moment of daydreaming might be more productive than another hour at your desk.

💡 In this episode, we discuss:

• How play is an instinct—not just a pastime
• How play is trained out of us
• The neuroscience of how play resets the brain
• Easy ways to reintroduce play into your day
• The idea of a “play history” and what it reveals about you

Whether you’re a leader, a parent, a professional—or all three—this episode will help you rethink what it really means to be productive, healthy, and whole.

🎧 Tune in and rediscover the power of play.

To Connect with Dr. Hohlbein, visit: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-patricia-hohlbein-edd-mba-9876664/

Additional Resources:
Hohlbein, Patricia J., "The power of play in developing emotional intelligence impacting leadership
success: a study of the leadership team in a Midwest private, liberal arts university" (2015). Theses and
Dissertations. 595.
https://digitalcommons.pepperdine.edu/etd/595

Brown, S., & Vaughan, C. (2009). Play: How it shapes the brain, opens the imagination, and invigorates the soul. Avery.

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