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A common way we cope with shame is to blame our spouse/partner and we  use phrases such as "what's wrong with you?" to avoid feeling our own shame. Listen in as Steve and Lisa have a candid conversation about how the blame strategy is a common dynamic in marriage and what hopeful and healing responses are needed when we are feeling consumed by shame. 

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Shame is sneaky. For most couples, shame is the undercurrent of the distress  in their relationship.  Shame disorients us and it is a common response to hurt and disappointment. Join Steve and Lisa in an engaging conversation about how shame reveals itself in relational dynamics and how we can offer helpful and hopeful responses to one another that cultivate emotional safety and connection.

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We are designed and created to play. Play in our marriage offers us an opportunity to know our spouse and to be known. Often though, there is resistance to play, especially in moments and experiences of hurt and disconnection. Listen in as Steve and Lisa talk through the benefits of play and how we might be intentional in cultivating play in our marriage!

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Sometimes in our marriage, we lose access to our spouse. Whether momentarily or over an extended period of time, loss of access can cause significant distress in our bodies. In this episode, Steve and Lisa have a conversation about common ways in which we cope with the loss of access and ways in which we can reconnect in those moments.

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We jump into attachment this episode. When we said "I do," we became our spouse's new attachment figure. Such a privilege yet so complex because of our own attachment story. Marriage is a constant intersection of  our attachment experience with our primary attachment figure and our attachment experience with our spouse.  Listen in to discover how availability and consistency create a secure attachment in our marriage.

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Expressing our need is a risky proposition. What if my spouse/partner doesn’t respond? What if my need to connect is dismissed or ignored? If we experience a repeated pattern of our needs being ignored or dismissed, then we learn to withhold and refrain from expressing them-asking just becomes too painful. Yet a repressed need for connection, leads to disconnection. Join us for a conversation on how our own family origin story surrounding need impacts the way in which we navigate need in our marriage. Learn helpful ways of expressing need that cultivate connection in marriage. 

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Hurt often drives conflict in marriage and it's hiding in our anger, frustration and even disappointment.  When we feel feel hurt, we often use blame or accusation as a way to cope. Statements of blame though create defensiveness and escalate conflict. But it’s possible to learn to express hurt without blame. Join us for a conversation on how to cultivate connection and understanding in the midst of hurt. 

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 In this podcast, Dr. Steve and Lisa Call have a conversation about how conflict can actually cultivate connection in our marriage. There is no getting around the fact that conflict is inevitable in marriage.  Perhaps conflict offers us a unique opportunity to express thoughts and feelings, opening the door to being known and to experience connection. Join us!