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What if the recurring conflicts in your relationship aren't about incompatibility but instead signal that your unspoken agreements need updating? Bob and Wendy Patterson, married for 44 years and pioneers in relationship therapy, introduce the revolutionary concept of relational contracts that could transform how you connect with your partner.

Drawing from their personal journey through power struggles and miscommunications, the Pattersons reveal how unconscious agreements form naturally during the romantic phase but often become problematic as partners grow and change. Wendy candidly shares how her oldest-child tendency to direct her husband collided with Bob's youngest-child resistance to being told what to do—a dynamic that worked until it didn't. The turning point came when Bob expressed feeling loved but not respected, prompting them to examine their implicit contract.

These relationships experts explain how conflict signals growth trying to happen rather than evidence the relationship should end. "What couples heading toward divorce are often really saying is 'I've got to end the contract we've had,'" Wendy notes. This perspective shifts relationship difficulties from personal failings to opportunities for creating new, more conscious agreements.

The conversation delves into how birth order, communication styles, and decision-making approaches influence our unspoken contracts. Bob demonstrates this brilliantly with the example of giving Wendy "permission" to alert him to road hazards while driving—a simple renegotiation that eased tensions they'd experienced for years. They introduce their "CPR for couples" framework (Compassion, Power, Respect) as foundational elements for healthy relationship agreements.

Whether you're experiencing recurring arguments about household chores, parenting approaches, or decision-making styles, this episode provides practical tools for identifying expired contracts and creating new ones together. Listen now to discover how making your implicit agreements explicit could revitalize your connection and help you grow together rather than apart.

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Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.

Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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Ever watched your teenager struggle with what comes next after high school? The pressure to choose the "right" college major or career path can be overwhelming for young people—and equally stressful for the parents trying to guide them.

Brian Eames, a certified Birkman consultant, reveals how this powerful personality assessment can transform how teenagers approach their futures. Having worked with students from high school through their twenties, Brian shares fascinating insights into how the Berkman helps young people discover career paths that align with their natural strengths and needs.

The Birkman doesn't just identify what someone might be good at—it reveals what environments they need to thrive professionally. This distinction makes all the difference between choosing a career that looks good on paper and finding work that feels energizing rather than draining.

Through compelling stories of students he's worked with, Brian demonstrates how this 45-minute assessment can save years of expensive trial and error. One particularly powerful example involves siblings who took completely different career paths after understanding their unique Berkman profiles.

Parents will especially appreciate Brian's perspective on the return on investment—how spending $600 on an assessment can potentially save tens of thousands in college costs and years of career dissatisfaction. As one parent noted during the conversation, "I'm thinking about how much time and money we would have saved spending $1,800 on our three kids."

Whether you're a parent wondering how to support your teen's decisions, a young adult feeling lost about your next steps, or someone simply interested in understanding yourself better, this episode offers practical wisdom for aligning who you are with what you do. The right career isn't just about following your interests—it's about knowing your needs and finding where you truly belong.

Visit birkmanatlanta.com to learn more about how the Birkman assessment might help the young people in your life navigate their futures with greater confidence and clarity. this grandmother is gifting this to all five grandchildren summer of their senior year!

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Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.

Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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Michele Naudé, Imago therapist and faculty member from South Africa, shares profound insights about the parenting journey, with special focus on single parenting and the constant balance between struggles and celebrations.

• The concept of being a "good enough parent" rather than striving for perfection
• How showing up consistently, being warm and reliable creates safety for children
• Understanding that every interaction builds our children's "imago" - their blueprint for future relationships
• The unique challenges of single parenting and managing parental exhaustion
• Why validation is crucial when communicating with teenagers
• How our own childhood experiences unconsciously shape our parenting approach
• The importance of giving children choices within boundaries that work for parents
• Setting appropriate boundaries while maintaining connection
• Using the "piece of quiet" strategy when needing self-care moments
• The value of parent communities to combat isolation and share experiences
• Resources including Danny Silk's "Loving Our Kids On Purpose" and Marcia Ferstenfeld's Connected Parents Thriving Kids course as well as our host, Coco Kowal's connected Parents, Thriving Parents

Reach out to Michele Naudé on Facebook to learn about her parent-teen workshop opportunities and discover more resources for your parenting journey.

Support the show

Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.

Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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Discover the importance of creating a shared vision for relationships and how it can enhance emotional intimacy. Sophia Slate joins us to discuss practical insights for couples seeking to clarify and establish their relationship goals.

• Exploring the concept of relationship vision 
• Discussing why a shared vision matters for couples 
• Steps to write and articulate your relationship vision 
• Understanding the value of differences in relationships 
• Creating a vacation vision to enhance shared experiences 
• Establishing weekly rituals to keep the vision alive 
• The role of appreciation and gratitude in nurturing bond 

Unlock your relationship potential! Check out our upcoming workshops to dive deeper into these transformative practices. 

Support the show

Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.

Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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Join us for an inspiring episode as we celebrate the joy of welcoming new life into the world with the birth of Baby Jonah Gray. This episode is a heartfelt discussion on the journeys of parenting, the innate challenges that come with it, and how our past shapes our present as parents. We dive deep into the tapestry of family dynamics, reflecting on the teachings and strategies shared by parenting expert Marcia Ferstenfeld. 

As we recount the profound experiences of parenting, we emphasize how critical relationships are in shaping our interactions with children. Marcia sheds light on her upcoming parenting course, where she imparts invaluable knowledge for parents and educators alike, guiding them on a path to foster deeper connections. Recognizing that parenting is a continuous journey of discovery, we discuss the importance of accepting imperfection and growing through the challenges we face.

Our conversation reflects how the simple act of mirroring feelings can help bridge gaps between parents and children, turning emotional turmoil into constructive dialogue. We delve into the significance of setting boundaries, encouraging self-reflection, and nurturing the strong foundation of meaningful relationships to empower the next generation. Tune in and explore the gems of wisdom we uncover in this timely reflection on parenting and relationships as we equip ourselves with the tools needed to raise emotionally healthy children. Don't forget to subscribe, share, and join us in the conversation!

Go to imagorelationshipswork.com to sign up for Marcia's class.

Show Notes:

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Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.

Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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This episode dives into how understanding polyvagal theory can profoundly impact our ability to connect in relationships. Hayley Hoffman, an Imago therapist, explores the importance of safety, co-regulation, and practical strategies, encouraging listeners to cultivate curiosity and playfulness to navigate conflicts and enhance connection.

• Understanding polyvagal theory and its implications for relationships 
• The role of safety in thriving relationships 
• Exploring the concept of co-regulation and nonverbal communication 
• How to manage emotional reactions and create space for connection 
• Introducing the "SIFT" framework for emotional awareness 
• Strategies like breath and movement to regulate the nervous system 
• The significance of mirroring in relationships 
• Encouragement for employing curiosity and playfulness in communication and connection

Support the show

Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.

Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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This podcast episode explores the complexities of love and relationships, focusing on lifelong intimacy rather than one-day celebrations. Equipped with practical advice from Dr. Harville Hendricks and Dr. Helen LaKelley Hunt, listeners learn how to cultivate lasting love through communication, removing negativity, and celebrating shared experiences.

• Discussing the deeper meaning of Valentine’s Day in long-term relationships 
• The significance of managing expectations in love 
• The importance of a zero negativity approach to sustain intimacy 
• Transforming negative interactions into healing dialogues 
• The role of childhood experiences in shaping relationship dynamics 
• Practical strategies for creating daily joy and connection in love 
• Emphasizing the value of listening in fostering emotional safety 

The call to action invites listeners to check out upcoming workshops and resources available on their website, where they can learn more about Imago Therapy and how to apply these principles in their lives.

Support the show

Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.

Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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This episode focuses on the often-overlooked topic of menopause, featuring Jessica Ames, who shares her personal journey and insights into how hormonal changes can affect women's lives and relationships. It discusses the importance of informed care, recognizing symptoms, and advocating for better health support for menopausal women. 

• Jessica reflects on her own experiences with menopause 
• The 2002 study on hormone replacement therapy and its implications 
• Understanding the three stages of menopause 
• Symptoms of menopause that are frequently misattributed 
• The importance of recognizing hormonal shifts in women’s health 
• Advocating for informed healthcare providers 
• Nutrition and lifestyle changes to support wellbeing during menopause 
• Resources and books for further education on menopause 
• The collaborative nature of menopause awareness for both women and their partners 
• Encouragement for couples to join the upcoming workshop to deepen their understanding of relationships during transitional life phases. 
• Don't forget to check out Jessica and Brian’s couples workshop in February!

Support the show

Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.

Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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This episode delves into the profound complexities of grief within relationships and how couples can support each other through challenging times. Through Allison Dragony’s insights, listeners learn about the importance of open communication, understanding neurodivergence in emotional responses, and creating safe spaces for dialogue when navigating loss.

• Exploring the impact of business loss on personal relationships 
• The importance of connection during grief 
• Demonstrating Imago dialogue techniques for deeper communication 
• Discussing the significance of pregnancy loss and its emotional toll 
• Navigating grief in neurodivergent families 
• Encouraging listeners to seek help and utilize available resources 
• Acknowledging that everyone processes grief differently 
• Sharing personal experiences to validate listeners’ feelings 

Let's remember that grief doesn't have to be faced alone; support and understanding are crucial in these moments.

Support the show

Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.

Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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Discover how embracing anger can transform your relationships in our latest episode of the Relationship Blueprint. We've invited Adela Moldovan, a distinguished therapist from Romania, to share her profound insights on the complex ways anger is socialized in children and its impact on adult relationships. Have cultural norms led you to suppress your emotions? Adela reveals how societal expectations often discourage girls from expressing anger and pressure boys to hide their fears, contributing to adult challenges in communication and connection.

As we navigate the turbulent seas of anger in relationships, we focus on creating a safe space where emotions can be expressed without escalating into conflict. Recognizing anger as a surface emotion, we explore how it can unveil deeper fears and vulnerabilities. By practicing mirroring and validating feelings, we can enhance understanding and strengthen bonds, especially when dealing with children whose emotional development is still taking shape. We share personal experiences of confronting anger within family dynamics, emphasizing the ongoing journey of healing and the importance of striving to be a 'good enough' partner or parent.

Finally, we tackle the complexities of healing past wounds and repairing disconnections in relationships. Adela underscores the power of taking accountability, not as a fault but as a path to mutual understanding and safety. We discuss how creating a supportive environment transforms accountability into empowerment and leads to healthier communication. Couples therapy emerges as a crucial tool in fostering these healing experiences, highlighting the importance of acknowledging intentions versus impact. Listen as we redefine anger from a destructive force to an opportunity for growth and deeper connection.

Support the show

Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.

Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!