The Rewatch Party

For Halloween, the crew goes into Maximum Overdrive, Stephen King’s one-and-only directorial meltdown brought to you by a truly 1980's amount of cocaine.  Angry trucks, possessed toasters, and for the love of god, will someone please tell AC/DC to shut directly the eff up. Somewhere between exploding drawbridges and the Green Goblin semi grinning like a maniac, the chaos starts to feel almost profound.  Almost.

We talk killer vending machines, sleazy Bible salesmen, and the mystery of why a comet’s “space fart” would make a lawnmower homicidal.  It’s a glorious junkyard of blood, beer, and bad decisions held together by pure noise and misplaced confidence.

By the end, one truth remains: this isn’t a movie to rewatch alone. It’s a social event, best shared with chemical assistance.  Consider it practice for when the machines rise up.  You’ll want someone nearby to confirm that, yes, it’s really happening.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091499/

Nick and Anthony return to the dojo this week to unpack Marantau, a martial arts coming-of-age story about a gap year involving a bus ride, a sewer-pipe apartment, and several felony assaults. Between righteous fury at the close-up finger-food scene and the realization that “bear-crawl fighting pajamas” are an actual thing, this episode proves enlightenment might just come one punch at a time.

Paul Newman and Robert Redford ride again with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, a film where outlaws rob trains, the soundtrack does acid, and everyone somehow looks like they’ve been airbrushed by God. Between the sepia intro and the bicycle ballet, we’re wondering how a movie about running from the law manages to feel like a cologne commercial.

If you came here for film criticism, bless your heart. If you came to ruin Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head forever, well, saddle up.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064115/

Despite all the reasons to hate on the government, they did give us a reason to watch George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, and Jeff Bridges dropping acid in the desert while cosplaying psychic soldiers. This week, we’re finding out if truth is actually dumber than fiction with The Men Who Stare at Goats.

Join us as we try to remember Chris Nolan’s freshmaker Memento! It’s not confusion, it’s art: a Polaroid un-developing, blood shooting back into a body, and a gun working in reverse like it’s got a refund policy. Meanwhile we’re just trying to keep our notes straight without accidentally tattooing “don’t believe his lies” on ourselves.

No white or male goes unscrutinized as we question who to trust and whether a tattoo counts as a “fact”. We also chat Nolan family drama, Chicago accents, sausage debates, Sharpie jokes, and Guy Pearce’s abs (sharp enough to slice the editing timeline).

It’s one of the easiest recommendations Nick will ever make, but also one most likely to send Elise into the fetal position muttering “I’m so confused” while the rest of us pretend we have a system. Tune in and unshoot this masterpiece one scene at a time.  And do yourself a favor, get a "don't give Anthony the Polaroid if you invite him into your home" tattoo now so you don't forget and regret.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0209144/

Whoa.  This week we take the Red Pill back to Newest York and the post-apocalyptic doom sewers. We’re finally talking about The Matrix, a cinematic masterpiece which as far as we can tell is all about “goopy” mirrors, dial-up modem noises, OG parkour, and kleenex sales.  

The numbers, the awards, and the reasons half of us somehow missed this in theaters back in 1999 are all on the table. We wrestle with whether this really is the best thing the Wachowskis ever put their fingers into, and argue about which inside jokes deserve permanent status.

What’s it like to scream in a movie theater and have the manager show up? You’ll hear about that, plus sequels that broke us, and the deep question of whether pain in the real world hits your Matrix body too. They say to deny your impulses is to deny what makes us human, and we're not exactly in the denail business here.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/

Fresh off the flesh, the steaks deliver themselves on the latest episode of The Rewatch Party. Elise left Nick, Anthony, and Manny to their own devices and they're taking on Tim Burton’s 1996 sci-fi masterpiece(?): Mars Attacks!, a film pitched on a series of random alien trading cards that somehow landed a spect-ack-ack-ack-ular cast.

Debate the film's minimal box office profit margin, uncover the origin of the iconic martian “ack ack ack”, and a walk down memory lane to the days of Blockbuster, Hastings, and the noody aisle. 

So ultimately is this a misunderstood masterpiece or a total misfire fit only for TRUE pokemon nerds like Geoff?  Only one way to settle it.  Tune in and ack ack ack like you mean it.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116996/

Check our gravitational force, bitches! Welcome back to The Rewatch Party. This week, we go big blue and get loud, as it's knives out time for Zack Snyder's Man of Steel. We’re talking about the World Engines, musty atmospheres, and an opening five minutes that somehow turns Krypton into a thirst joke. We dive deep into the film that changed everything for the DC universe, and we don't pull any punches.

Do we name-check James Gunn's Superman a non-zero amount of times? Yes. Is Henry Cavill’s torso treated like a national monument? Yes. We also get into the real MVP of the film: the town of Sandwich, Illinois. Also on the menu: Kal-El as space Moses and helpful tips about thumbs as a measurement system.

We roast Snyder, pitch a “Lawrence Fishburn” seafood restaurant, and get into the real controversy: a neck snap while the main fight scene likely killed half a city. It's a "Lawrence Fishburn" seafood-joint pitch that somehow becomes the dream. It’s a spicy one, so come for the chaos, stay for the punchlines, and maybe a new restaurant concept.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0770828/

Grab your sour-patch straws, stop sour punching your straw, and join us as we slip into the impeccably tailored, morally dubious world of The Man from U.N.C.L.E., where Henry Cavill smirks his way through the Cold War and Armie Hammer glowers in various shades of “angry Russian.” We talk about the opening Berlin chase, the world’s suavest tablecloth yank, and why Guy Ritchie clearly decided style was more important than historical accuracy—or sometimes, basic physics. Also, everyone is ridiculously good-looking, and yes, we noticed. Repeatedly.

Somewhere between the CIA, the KGB, and whatever Hugh Grant is doing in this movie, there’s a plot about nuclear warheads, a fake engagement, and a fashion show that doubles as spycraft. We pick apart the “unlikely partners” dynamic, try to decide if Gaby is the actual MVP, and get distracted by the soundtrack every time Roberta Flack or Nina Simone shows up. (Seriously, this might be the most our Spotify queues have been influenced by a rewatch.)

Naturally, we wander into side quests: our rankings of cinematic buddy duos, a brief tangent about how many spy movies would be ruined if the characters had iPhones, and Elise’s theory that Cavill’s Solo is basically James Bond on a heavy sedative. Somewhere in there we debate who in the group could actually pull off a 1960s double-breasted suit. Spoiler: not all of us.

By the end, we’re in Istanbul, the team’s assembled, and we’re low-key mad this stylish mess never got a sequel. If you’re into slick visuals, flirty banter, and the occasional implausible stunt involving vintage cars, you might want to give this one another spin—preferably with a drink in hand and your sharpest spy outfit on standby.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1638355

This week, we threw ourselves into the hotel-issued bathrobe that is Maid in Manhattan and found it two sizes too absurd. With Jennifer Lopez playing a maid-turned-mistaken-socialite and Ralph (Ray? Rafe?) Fiennes as the blandest romantic lead money can buy, we tried to find some substance in a movie so fluffy it might actually be Scotchgard-resistant. We also spent a concerning amount of time arguing about how to pronounce “Ralph” and why Bob Hoskins, of all people, was trapped in this cinematic housekeeping assignment.

From awkward bathroom run-ins to a Nixon-obsessed child to the tragic misuse of Stanley Tucci, we couldn’t help but pick apart every baffling beat of this film. Why does JLo keep getting asked to run errands like a personal assistant? Why does her son speak like a retired political speechwriter? Why does Ralph Fiennes keep showing up in movies where he clearly doesn’t want to be? These are the kinds of questions that kept us going—well, those and the occasional inappropriate joke about magazine ink and insured assets.

We also went on a much-needed detour to Manhattan, Kansas, where we imagined a superior version of the film featuring Rock-a-Belly’s nachos, peanut butter tacos from Lucha, and Bob Hoskins as a small-town legend who probably runs the local deli. Honestly, that version of Maid in Manhattan might have gotten five stars from us. And though we gave producer Andrew plenty of reasons to fade us out mid-rant, he (miraculously) lets the full Bob Hoskins tangent play out. You’re welcome.

Look, we’re not saying Maid in Manhattan is the worst movie we’ve ever watched, but we’re definitely not not saying that either. Tune in for some strong opinions, stronger tangents, and a group slowly losing their grip on cinematic reality—all in under two hours, unlike the movie.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1638355/