In this episode, Dr. David breaks down the myth of the "calm parent" and reveals why calm is not a personality trait, but a daily practice. Learn about the 5 Ds—the core behaviors that kids use to communicate stress—and discover a science-backed, practical tool called the 90-second reset to help you regulate your own nervous system in challenging moments. Dr. David shares why repairing after tough moments is more valuable than a perfect response, and how this knowledge can transform your parenting experience.

Key Takeaways

- The myth of the perpetually calm parent—and why it holds us back

- There is no "point of no return" in an escalated moment, but our strategies might need to change

- Kids’ challenging behaviors are languages, not character flaws—the 5 Ds explained: Defiance, Disruption, Dodging, Detonation, and Disconnection

- Your nervous system matters as much as your child's during hard moments

- The 90-second reset: A body-based tool (center and connect) to regulate before responding

- Repairing after a parenting misstep rewires more than perfection ever could

Free Resource: Behavior Guide

Looking for specific language and tools for hard moments? Download Dr. David's comprehensive Behavior Guide—free, no catch!

👉 [Download the Guide at drdavidapalmer.com]

Live Event: Roots Before Results (Coachella Valley, CA)

Join Dr. David in an in-person parenting series, Roots Before Results, launching September 8th in partnership with Integrated Learning Institute in Palm Desert.

- Limited to 40 adults

- Dinner and childcare provided

- Scholarships available

👉 [Learn More & Register at store.drdavidapalmer.com/roots]

Connect

Have questions or need support? Call Dr. David: 209-800-4637 or email [email protected]

For more insights and resources, subscribe to The Rewired Collective and check the show notes for additional links.

Keep rewiring!

If you’re feeling exhausted by relentless summer boredom declarations and pressure to keep everyone happy, this episode is your reminder that you are not alone—and you haven’t failed. Dr. David will help you reframe boredom not as a parenting problem, but as a nervous system signal in neurodivergent kids, offering peace, practical tools, and a path toward calmer days.Try connecting before correcting—take a breath, get on your child’s level, and validate their feeling today; that one shift can turn a moment of friction into a chance for real connection.Get the free Behavior Guide Here

EPISODE 20: Why We Freeze When They Melt Down (And How to Rewire It)

In this episode, we dive into the biology of parenting meltdowns, explaining why your first instinct is often to freeze, fix, or control. Learn how your child's dysregulation activates your own nervous system, and why your reaction is a pattern, not a failing. We break down the 6 E's Framework—Embrace, Engage, Enhance, Equip, Empower, Embody—to help you rewire your response and become the anchor your child needs.

Masterclass & Resources:

Rewire the Response Masterclass: Go deep into the science and strategy of breaking your default response cycle. Live training on March 21st for $9.

Sign up here: https://www.drdavidapalmer.com/rewirewebinar

Rewire the Response: Understanding Child Behavior Through Brain Science

In this episode, Dr. David dives into the neuroscience of children's behavior, explaining why traditional punishment-based approaches often fail, especially when kids are in survival mode. Learn how to better support children by understanding their brain states and adjusting your response accordingly.

Key Topics:

Challenging the conventional model of behavior as a choice and punishment as a solution

The three parts of the brain: thinking, emotional, and survival (bottom-up model)

How stress and threat levels influence a child's ability to regulate behavior

The importance of regulation and connection before correction

Practical steps for parents, teachers, and caregivers: assess brain state before responding

The sequence: regulate, connect, then correct for lasting behavior change

Upcoming workshop on survival mode and brain-based strategies

Resources & Links:

Dr. David A. Palmer - Follow on social media

In this episode, Dr. David Palmer discusses the detrimental effects of the interrogation method on trust between parents and children.

He emphasizes that when children are cornered, they often resort to lying as a survival mechanism. Dr. Palmer introduces the C-A-L-M approach to create a safe environment for children to tell the truth, emphasizing empathy and understanding rather than punishment.

He advocates for building a path to truth through co-regulation and emotional safety, ultimately aiming to foster honesty in the parent-child relationship.

Make sure you secure your spot for the upcoming webinar mentioned in the podcast, Feb. 3rd, at 6:30 pm here: https://drdavidapalmer.com/truth-protocol

Summary

In this conversation, Dr. David discusses the complexities of children's lying behavior, particularly in neurodivergent children. He emphasizes that lying is not a moral failing but a safety response rooted in their nervous system's reaction to perceived threats. Dr. David advocates creating a safe environment where children feel secure enough to tell the truth rather than resort to deception. He introduces practical strategies for parents to foster honesty and connection, ultimately transforming the home's culture of trust.

Secure your sanity at the Truth Protocol Webinar: https://drdavidapalmer.com/truth-protocol

Follow Dr. David on Instagram: https://instagram.com/drdavidapalmer

Subscribe to the Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@rewiretheresponsetv

In this conversation, the speakers delve into the themes of parenting, mental toughness, and the significance of innovation and fortitude in personal growth. They discuss the significance of celebrating small wins, the process of repairing relationships, and the value of vulnerability in parenting. The conversation emphasizes the need for community support and resources to facilitate transformation, highlighting the Shift Live Lab as a valuable tool for parents seeking to enhance their skills and understanding.

Visit Davina's Website Here

Join the Rewire Live Lab Here

In this episode of The Rewired Parent, the host welcomes Davina Hehn, a trained therapist turned mental health coach, to discuss the concept of anger intelligence and how parents can break cycles of behavior ingrained from their upbringing. They explore the importance of understanding anger as a signal rather than a problem, and how to use it as a catalyst for change and self-awareness. The conversation delves into the SHIFT framework, which stands for Self-awareness, Healing, Innovation, Fortitude, and Transformation, providing practical insights for parents to manage their emotions and improve their relationships with their children.

Discover more about Davina: https://www.asteadyspace.com/Join Dr. David's upcoming Rewire Live Lab: https://drdavidapalmer.substack.com/subscribe

Summary

In this conversation, Dr. David discusses the challenges parents face when navigating the pressures of parenting in front of an audience, particularly during the holiday season. He introduces the concept of the 'audience effect' and emphasizes the importance of prioritizing child safety and emotional connection over external approval. Dr. David provides practical strategies for parents to manage their responses and support their neurodivergent children effectively, encouraging a shift in focus from audience judgment to understanding and empathy.

Find the Trigger Decoder Checklist at https://drdavidapalmer.com/trigger

Summary

In this episode, Dr. David explores the behavior of whining in children, particularly during the holiday season. He discusses the underlying emotional and neurological factors that contribute to this behavior, emphasizing the importance of understanding and compassion in parenting. Dr. A provides insights on how to respond to whining with empathy while maintaining boundaries, and he encourages parents to view these moments as opportunities for growth and connection rather than as sources of frustration.