A lot of times as parents -- we are saying the right things! But we are saying them at the wrong time. It's not about what you're doing. It's about WHEN you're doing it.

In the "green arrow" moments, we teach. In the "yellow arrow" moment, we prompt. And in the red, sometimes we prompt, mostly we STAY SAFE.

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting

⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting

Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching

_____________________________________

If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes.

Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world.

I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships.

_____________________________________

Mr. Chazz is an educational specialist from Virginia.

One day a few weeks ago, I was scrolling through TikTok and discovered Mr. Chazz. I was going through video after video, so impressed with his content. It lines up with what I teach here -- All behavior is communication, understanding tantrums, connection seeking behaviors instead of attention-seeking.

It's a rarity to find a male early educator. But I worked with several males when I was a preschool teacher and LOVED IT! So I already knew he'd be such a great addition to the Xo Parenting podcast.

I reached out… and asked if he'd come on my podcast.

He agreed.

And I had him scheduled for episode 12 in August. And then George Floyd was murdered -- and the video impacted the hearts of many.

The need to hear from Mr. Chazz became so much more urgent for me and I think all of you as well. Whether you are a parent or teacher, White, Black, Hispanic, Asian… I know we will all learn a lot from the wonderful Mr. Chazz.

A few things you need to know about this man.

1. He was a Spoken Word Artist in College

2. He has a Masters degree in Executive Leadership

3. His first teaching experience was a Montessori class of 30 3-5 year-olds

4. I did music with over 100 kids every Friday with children ranging 0 - 6 before the pandemic.

Today he's going to talk to us about how to look at what happened in Minneapolis from a human development perspective.

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting

⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting

Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching

_____________________________________

If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes.

Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world.

I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships.

_____________________________________

www.patreon.com/mrchazz

TikTok @TickTeachTok

Instagram @Mrchazz

Mr. Chazz is an educational specialist from Virginia.

One day a few weeks ago, I was scrolling through TikTok and discovered Mr. Chazz. I was going through video after video, so impressed with his content. It lines up with what I teach here -- All behavior is communication, understanding tantrums, connection seeking behaviors instead of attention-seeking.

It's a rarity to find a male early educator. But I worked with several males when I was a preschool teacher and LOVED IT! So I already knew he'd be such a great addition to the Xo Parenting podcast.

I reached out… and asked if he'd come on my podcast.

He agreed.

And I had him scheduled for episode 12 in August. And then George Floyd was murdered -- and the video impacted the hearts of many.

The need to hear from Mr. Chazz became so much more urgent for me and I think all of you as well. Whether you are a parent or teacher, White, Black, Hispanic, Asian… I know we will all learn a lot from the wonderful Mr. Chazz.

A few things you need to know about this man.

1. He was a Spoken Word Artist in College

2. He has a Masters degree in Executive Leadership

3. His first teaching experience was a Montessori class of 30 3-5 year-olds

4. I did music with over 100 kids every Friday with children ranging 0 - 6 before the pandemic.

Today he's going to talk to us about how to look at what happened in Minneapolis from a human development perspective.

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting

⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting

Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching

_____________________________________

If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes.

Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world.

I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships.

_____________________________________

www.patreon.com/mrchazz

TikTok @TickTeachTok

Instagram @Mrchazz

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting

⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting

Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching

_____________________________________

If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes.

Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world.

I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships.

_____________________________________

So the first thing that we learned here is all behavior is communication. We have to figure out what they're communicating by looking at the patterns, what happens before, what happens after, what's reinforcing them to do that behavior on accident, or on purpose.

Second, we have to teach the skills that they need proactively. So we can't wait until he chokes somebody with a rope or stabs someone with a pencil to try to teach them how to enter play. At that point, he's too far gone. He's in an emotionally reactive state.

And the third thing is that none of this is the child's fault. None of it. Not one time in this whole episode has I said, "This kid is so bad, we need him out of here. Like I can't control him. He needs to be gone". No, I kept trying to figure out what I needed to do to support him. It's not the child's fault. They aren't giving you a hard time. Children are having a hard time.

Understanding that all behavior is communication changed my entire life.

It did. It changed my entire life.

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting

⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting

Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching

_____________________________________

If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes.

Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world.

I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships.

_____________________________________

So the first thing that we learned here is all behavior is communication. We have to figure out what they're communicating by looking at the patterns, what happens before, what happens after, what's reinforcing them to do that behavior on accident, or on purpose.

Second, we have to teach the skills that they need proactively. So we can't wait until he chokes somebody with a rope or stabs someone with a pencil to try to teach them how to enter play. At that point, he's too far gone. He's in an emotionally reactive state.

And the third thing is that none of this is the child's fault. None of it. Not one time in this whole episode has I said, "This kid is so bad, we need him out of here. Like I can't control him. He needs to be gone". No, I kept trying to figure out what I needed to do to support him. It's not the child's fault. They aren't giving you a hard time. Children are having a hard time.

Understanding that all behavior is communication changed my entire life.

It did. It changed my entire life.

All behavior is communication, so it's our job to figure out what our children are communicating. One child was especially difficult for me several years ago as a preschool teacher. This child sparked my LOVE for supporting parents with challenging behavior.

Instead of writing it off, and expelling this child from preschool and giving up on him, we looked at it differently. And changed his entire experience. And frankly, it changed MY life.