After a lengthy hiatus, John and Kaitlin have returned to see the origins of Choni, the return of Dark Betty, and the premiere of LOVE, SIMON.

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On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin discuss Agent Arthur Adams' real identity (turns out he was the ghost of Archie's biological father, so, called it), all the signs that Hiramland is happening, and why "Falice" is a great ship, with a terrible ship name. (Think about it.)

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin want Archie to be their intern, Jughead to take a chill pill, and Veronica to find the light.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin cringe over Chic, rejoice over Kevin's wrestling skills, and consider whether Chughead makes any sense.

On this week's episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin talk Jughead's severely misguided Serpent situation, whether Archie's BFF in the FBI is even real, and why we would never want to have a sleepover with Betty's secret brother Chic.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin talk about that surprising Black Hood reveal, what job Veronica will have at Hiramland, and what could be next for the gang following a ho-ho-horrific Christmas.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin analyze Betty's rendition of "Mad World," the possible origins of the Black Hood, and whatever the heck is happening with Cheryl.

***WARNING! Spoiler alert for the ending of MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS.***

Welcome back River Vixens! John and Kaitlin are joined by Two Of A Kind's Krystal to discuss the Riverdale Reaper, Kevin's DILFy dad, and whatever the hell has gotten into Cheryl this week.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John schools Kaitlin in stunt cars, Toni is more into girls, and the Sugarman flatlines.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin discuss Jughead's version of pledge week, Veronica's worst New York City friend, and whether we're here for Tonihead. (We aren't.)