On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, a very sleepy John and a very awake Kaitlin talk Black Hood theories, that EPIC rain scene, and why Fred Andrews will always be our #1 TV dad.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, Kaitlin and John realize that they were waaaay too presumptuous about the Black Hood's shooting skillz, clap for joy at a great Kevin plot, and theorize about the future of Archie's weird, shirtless cult.

This week on THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and a feverish Kaitlin discuss why everyone won't just let Pop's Diner live, how Hermione Lodge took a 180, and how uncomfortable we felt when those milkshakes brought all the boys to the yard.

Annnnnd we're back! John and Kaitlin return to Riverdale with many questions. Who shot Fred? Why did Veronica wear pearls during her steamy shower scene? Did Jughead always know how to ride a motorcycle?

John and Kaitlin close out season 1 of RIVERDALE with many questions: Is Fred dead? Are Betty and Jughead doomed? And, finally: Will Archie go full dark, no stars, and stop being the sexy lamp we've come to love?

On this bonus episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin sit down with friend-of-the-show Stephen to recap the season so far! It's all about the 'ships, baby.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin discuss the ~Big Reveal~ that is the identity of Jason's murderer, why Joaquin is the best, and how the gun DEFINITELY WASN'T IN THE TRAILER. (Got that, kids?)

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin talk the FP of it all, why John is totally onboard for Kaitlin's theories now (why, yes, Kaitlin DOES write these blurbs), and which ships we are actively shipping.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin discuss Jughead being garbage, why Kevin totally killed Jason (in Kaitlin's head, at least), and the worst party game of all time that's not even really a game!

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin finally get onboard with Alice Cooper, consider whether Veronica has successfully achieved #JusticeForBarb, and realize the extent of Archie's sexy lamp identity.