The Rotating Platform

Alan's singing when he's winning in car-football mashup Rocket League, while tanks are singing when they're winning in Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker. We use Jam With The Band to pummel a pop song so brutally that it can't even be recognised through its dental records. And we have a capella tunes in honour of the late, great Satoru Iwata. Plus: SPACE ARK.

Email [email protected], tweet @rotatingpodcast, find us on Facebook (which is www.facebook.com), or put your message in one of those vacuum tube things -- one of them pops out in Mark's back yard. (Next episode's Space Ark genre is fantasy sports games.)

We've climbed all the way up to the 20th floor! We're shattered. Listen to us trying to catch our breath, and: coming to blows over Lego Jurassic World of all things, looking back to the time when Mark accidentally shaped official Wario lore, and finding some "authentic" messages from celebrities in our voicemail. Plus: SPACE ARK.

Email [email protected], tweet @rotatingpodcast, go flying with us in cyberspace by jacking into The Facebook, or whittle us a little boat with your message carved into the bottom. (Next episode's Space Ark genre is dinosaur games.)

We go shopping in Batman: Arkham Knight and pretend we're cool enough for the "banging wubs" of Futuridium EP Deluxe. We share our highlights of E3 2015, and predict the future of the show's biggest game franchises through the tried and trusted method of jabbing randomly at our mobile phone keyboards. And... pam param. Pam pam param. Pam param. Plus: SPACE ARK.

Email [email protected], tweet @rotatingpodcast, gift your identity to a corporation on Facebook, or hide your message in a cake and send it to us in prison. (Next episode's Space Ark genre is games with a celebrity's face in.)

Like all other podcasts, we're legally bound by strict EU podcast regulations to talk about the (amazing) Witcher 3 this week. But the EU can't stop us listing off your ingenious methods for toying with the minds of NPCs, doing the world's worst Michael Caine impressions, and confusingly equating Disney's Meet the Robinsons with Russell Crowe and ITV's Gladiators. Plus: SPACE ARK.

Email [email protected], tweet @rotatingpodcast, give the face-book-o-rama a whirl, or tell your message to a pigeon and hope for the best. (Next episode's Space Ark genre is wizard games.)

It's all positivity and light in this episode! We torment innocent bystanders in Assassin's Creed, exhume the many words we murdered during our shameful journalistic past, beat a popular song to a pulp using the blunt weapon of Jam With the Band, and discuss what Zelda games would be like if they replaced certain sections with sinister memorials to people who are actually still alive. Plus: SPACE ARK.

Email [email protected], tweet @rotatingpodcast, 'Do The Zuckerberg' at our Facebook page, or get our attention by writing a smash hit single that sails to the top of the charts with your message in. (Next episode's Space Ark genre is games where you play as an animal.)

It's all positivity and light in this episode! We torment innocent bystanders in Assassin's Creed, exhume the many words we murdered during our shameful journalistic past, beat a popular song to a pulp using the blunt weapon of Jam With the Band, and discuss what Zelda games would be like if they replaced certain sections with sinister memorials to people who are still alive. Plus: SPACE ARK.

Email [email protected], tweet @rotatingpodcast, 'Do The Zuckerberg' at our Facebook page, or get our attention by writing a smash hit single that sails to the top of the charts with your message in. (Next episode's Space Ark genre is games where you play as an animal.)

Celebrate the production of another mp3 format digital file with us! We've been playing Danganronpa 2, Grow Home and Wolfenstein: The New Order. We've been prodding our DSs to make sure we ruin a much-loved classical tune for everyone, for all time. And it turns out Matthew has been stalking random strangers in order to complete late-'90s point-and-click adventures. We suspected as much. Plus: SPACE ARK.

Email [email protected], tweet @rotatingpodcast, give us a thumb at our Facebook page, or spell out your message with flower seeds and let us know when they're fully grown. (Next episode's Space Ark genre is stealth.)

We're not dead yet! In this episode, we dig up the "facts" about Bloodborne that everyone else has been too busy staring at the loading screen to discover; tell you what our brains think about Ori and the Blind Forest, Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons and Deadbolt; report live from the red carpet (kinda) at the recent EGZ Rezzed expo; and discuss the well-known bazooka obsession of late Nintendo president Hiroshi Yamauchi (or "Yamowchi", according to Mark). Plus: SPACE ARK.

Email [email protected], tweet @rotatingpodcast, jack into cyberspace on our Facebook page, or enter stage left during Alan's play and cleverly incorporate your message seamlessly into the dialogue. (Next episode's Space Ark genre is point-and-click adventures.)

Something something unlucky for some. Vibrate your inner-ear hairs by blasting them with sound waves that contain our experiences with Dying Light, 80 Days and Dragon Age: Inquisition, some Metroid Prime "true" facts involving ladybirds and Koji Kondo in a bin, and an invasion by a rival games podcast. Plus: SPACE ARK.

Email [email protected], tweet @rotatingpodcast, Facebook our Facebook page, or Etch A Sketch us an Etch A Sketch message and hope the postie doesn't shake it up too much. (Next week's Space Ark genre is: physical gun games.)

Surprise -- we do podcast episodes in 2015 as well as 2014! There's everything from Destiny to Danganronpa in your picks for Game of 2014 (plus some games that start with other letters of the alphabet). Five game songs come out of a listener's mouth and get instantly not-recognised by us. And Mark ends up in a weird place thanks to a famous horse and a famous frog. Plus: SPACE ARK.

Email [email protected], tweet @rotatingpodcast, interfere with our Facebook page, or pop your message on a Post-it note -- an official one, not the WHSmith knock-offs that always fall off.