The Rules

Writer, actor, comedian and podcaster Tom Crowley (Crowley Time, with me Tom Crowley) persuades Simon to help eradicate meat walls on train platforms with hopscotch and dedicated perv-carriages.

Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Comedian, actor and presenter Abi Clarke guides Simon towards dramatically restricting small talk and dramatically expanding self-service checkouts and car horns.

Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stand-up and actor Lenny Sherman goes into business with Simon to stop people over-sharing their phone conversations and over-feeding their neighbours' cats.

Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Internationally renowned stand-up and podcaster John Hastings encourages Simon to adopt a more North-American attitude to bad drivers and morons by throwing small rocks and bags of ****.

Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Comedian, writer, actor and presenter Kyrah Gray implores Simon to fill the streets with gravel to make tackling rude people more effective and remake disappointing TV show finales to stop the creation of new traffic wardens.

Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Celebrated stand-up Neil O'Rourke helps Simon control K-munters and seat encroachers by filtering gilets and putting Michael Palin in a box.

Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Comedian, writer and co-host of Oh What A Time Tom Craine helps Simon improve everyone's mood with showers and 90s-themed sleepovers.

Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Actor, comedian and producer Jacob Edwards joins Simon to tackle dodgy deliveries and malfunctioning machinery by holding fat cats to account.

Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Award-winning comedian, writer and storyteller Marjolein Robertson helps Simon attempt to spark conversations on the tube and find a way to stop people dropping litter for good.

Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stand-up, writer and Edinburgh Comedy Awards Best Newcomer winner Toussaint Douglass insists Simon induct rules to improve self-checkouts and ensure that everyone waves at his son.

Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.