Married with 2 teenage daughters. Celebrating 25th wedding anniversary in May
15 years in church ministry; 7 or 8 years now in professional counseling. What are some of the benefits to going to counseling to improve your relationship?
Many couples wait too late to get the help they need, all couples can improve their relationship.What do you think it takes to help a marriage that’s in trouble make a turn around?
Honesty – with themselves, about themselves, and about where their marriage really is
Humility – taking the steps to get the help the need, actually put in the work to become the healthiest version of themselves
Forgiveness – regrets of the past will continue to haunt and linger until true forgiveness takes place. Forgiveness of spouse and of self. What are some of the biggest misconceptions about marriage?
That intimacy naturally fades over time. Intimacy only fades when we stop pursuing the other person.
That they are, by default, meeting the needs of their spouse. People change over time.What are some of the things that can sabotage a good marriage?
Lack of boundaries – taking on too much and having nothing left to give your spouse. Or perhaps a lack of boundaries when it comes to children, extended family members. Couples should fearlessly protect time for the two of you to be alone.
Boredom – Couples should chase new & next together.
Comparing their marriage to someone else’s – Social media has not helped here.
People handle conflict in different ways.
No one wants have to walk on egg shells around their partner
If things begin to escalate, take a time out.How can we intentionally make marriage fun so that we have a lot of good times to mix in with the difficult times?
Always keep something on the calendar to look forward to. The planning part of it alone brings a certain level of excitement.
Engage in the interests and activities your spouse enjoys – and do so joyfully. What advice would you give to couples willing to give it one more try?
Decide to do something substantially different.
Seek professional help.
Avoid negative voices – friends, family, internet, social media
Return to the practices you were doing in the beginning.How important is it to be a student of our partner?
Probably one of the most underestimated and often overlooked component of marriages.
Check out the DISC personality profile and the Love Language assessment.If people want to learn more about you, or connect with you about counseling, how can they find you?
www.psychologytoday.com - Search "Jon Hester". Email and phone listed.
