There is a version of dating in your 30s that feels like running a recruitment campaign, carefully crafted, highly strategic, and somehow still not attracting the right person. Navigating relationships with real intention starts long before the first swipe, and this episode is here to change how you think about all of it.

I sat down with Joyce, a leadership and dating coach with a background in psychology and author of Diamond Steps to Success, to explore what intentional dating actually looks like in practice. Drawing on her own journey through her 20s and 30s before meeting her husband, Joyce brings the kind of warm, grounded wisdom that coaching for women does at its very best. We talk about building a dating profile that genuinely reflects your values, how to ask the big questions without it feeling like an interview, and why creating space for a future partner is as much a mindset shift as it is a wardrobe clear-out.

You will come away with real tools for navigating relationships differently, a clearer sense of the energy you are putting out and why, and permission to let your softness and your ambition exist in the same room. This is one of those inspiring women conversations that stays with you, because personal development for women includes love, and you deserve both.

Your person is out there. Let us make sure they can find you.

This episode is full of warmth, honesty, and genuinely practical wisdom for anyone who wants more intentional relationships.

Because knowing what you want is not too much to ask for.

Episode Highlights

00:00 — Meet Kam and her guest Joyce, a leadership, life and dating coach and author of Diamond Steps to Success

04:34 — Why your dating profile is more like a vibe than a CV, and the small tweaks that attract the right people

07:12 — How being clear on your values signals to the right person that you are serious about building something real

19:14 — What your profile pictures are really saying about you and the visual cues that signal warmth and long term potential

30:31 — The beautiful practice of creating physical and mental space for a future partner before they arrive

36:33 — Why showing vulnerability is not weakness, it is an invitation for the right person to show up for you

41:43 — Getting clear on your values as the real foundation of lasting relationships, beyond the checklist

Connect with Kam

Insta (@self_is_me) • Instagram photos and videos

LinkedIn Kamila Turek | LinkedIn

Connect with Joyce

Insta @jfcoaching2025 Instagram
LinkedIn Joyce Fasanya | LinkedIn
DIAMOND STEPS TO SUCCESS: REACH YOUR GOALS IN 7 STEPS eBook : Oyedele, Joyce: Amazon.co.uk: Books

You are in a meeting, someone is talking, and you are trying so hard to follow. But nothing is landing. The words are there and somehow they are not reaching you at all. If that sounds familiar, this episode on brain fog in women is for you.

I have been there. The panicked meeting where words would not come. The GP appointments. The quiet fear that I was losing my sharpness for good.

In this episode I am sharing what I discovered, blending research, coaching and my own story, about why brain fog in women goes so much deeper than just tiredness.

Together we explore the psychological and physiological roots of brain fog: how estrogen and progesterone directly shape your memory, focus and clarity across the menstrual cycle, how chronic stress and unprocessed emotion push your nervous system into survival mode, and why hormonal changes from your cycle to perimenopause can shift your cognition within days. This is not about pushing through. It is about finally having the full picture your body was never given.

Because you were never losing your mind. You were just never told how it actually works.

Highlights

02:10 Self-Reflection: Checking in on Your Mental Clarity

05:10 The Role of Stress and Emotional Overload in Brain Fog

06:20 Understanding Brain Fog: Slowing of Thought and Processing

07:11 Psychological and Physiological Perspectives on Brain Fog

08:17 Emotional Numbing, Burnout, and Brain Fog

10:02 Hormonal Causes of Brain Fog: Estrogen and Progesterone

14:19 Duration of Brain Fog and Its Underlying Causes

15:08 Practical Strategies for Managing Brain Fog

17:30 Embracing Human Fluctuations and Self-Compassion

18:14 Closing Remarks and Self-Care Reminder

Connect with Kam
Instagram @coachingwithkam

Kamila Turek | LinkedIn

Resources
Burnout Book | Dr Claire Plumbly
Book - Better Period Food Solution

Have you ever felt misunderstood by your own body? You're not alone. In this enlightening episode of The Self-ish Me Podcast, host Kamila Turek, a seasoned business psychologist, courageously opens up about her personal journey with menstrual health and the pervasive societal stigma that often surrounds it. Kamila shares her experiences of grappling with intense period pain, which not only shaped her perception of her body but also led her down a path of shame and confusion. This episode serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of open conversations about women's health—a topic that has been historically neglected in medical research.

Kamila introduces the revolutionary idea of viewing menstrual cycles not merely as a biological process but as a vital rhythm that influences energy levels, productivity, and overall well-being. By breaking down the four distinct phases of the menstrual cycle—menstruation, follicular, ovulation, and luteal—she draws insightful parallels to the seasons, highlighting how each phase impacts our physical and emotional states. This profound exploration is a call for women's empowerment and an invitation to embark on a self-discovery journey that embraces the unique intricacies of our bodies.

Throughout the episode, Kamila encourages listeners to embrace their cycles and prioritize self-care, advocating for a shift in perspective that recognizes the power and resilience inherent in every woman. By aligning work and personal life with these natural rhythms, women can experience significant career growth and emotional well-being. This episode is packed with inspiring women conversations that not only validate your experiences but also empower you to reclaim your personal power.

As the episode draws to a close, Kamila issues a heartfelt call to action for women everywhere: track your cycles and harness this newfound awareness to support your journey of intimacy and sexuality. Join us in this transformative discussion that invites you to explore your identity and embrace the powerful connection between your menstrual health and your overall life experience. Tune in to The Self-ish Me Podcast and take the first step towards a more empowered, self-aware you!

Highlights:

00:36 The Systemic Neglect of Women's Health in Medicine

06:12 The Male Hormonal Cycle vs Women's Cycles

07:03 The Four Seasons Model of the Menstrual Cycle

12:22 Tracking Your Cycle and Recognizing Your Patterns

12:48 The Power of Knowing Your Low Days and Self-Doubt

13:50 Performance Improvements When Working with Your Cycle

16:14 Integrating Cycle Tracking into Work and Life

Connect with Kam
Instagram @coachingwithkam

Kamila Turek | LinkedIn

Links to Resources:

The Hustle Cure — Sophie Cliff
Book - Better Period Food Solution
Book - Vagina a Re-education

Are Female Friendships the Most Powerful Relationship in Your Life?

Today’s episode is a celebration — and a heartfelt reflection — on the power of female friendships. If you’ve ever been carried through heartbreak by a friend, celebrated a win in a group chat, this conversation is for you.

In honour of International Women’s Day, we explore why female friendships are so powerful — how they shape our wellbeing, influence our careers, support our mental health, and even impact our longevity. As we grow, friendships evolve. Proximity shifts. Life chapters change. And making friends as an adult can feel harder than we expected. But even as the shape of friendship changes, its power remains.

I also share personal reflections, along with simple ways to build new friendships and deepen the friendships you already have — through vulnerability, intentionality, and showing up.

Inspired by Friendaholic by Elizabeth Day and The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, this episode is an invitation to honour sisterhood — and to remember that women supporting women isn’t small.

It’s powerful.

Highlights

00:00 Celebrating Women's Day and the Importance of Female Friendships

03:04 The Power of Female Friendships

05:16 The Science Behind Friendships and Well-Being

08:45 Friendship as a Protective Factor for Health

11:26 Navigating Adult Friendships and Loneliness

14:24 Building and Maintaining Friendships

18:19 Vulnerability and Intentionality in Friendships

Connect with Kam Instagram @coachingwithkam

• Kamila Turek | LinkedIn

Links to Articles:

https://womensbrainhealth.org/think-tank/think-twice/ucla-study-on-friendship-among-women

https://kappadelta.org/blog-post/what-female-friendships-really-do-for-you/

Systematic review (38 studies, PERMA framework) — Frontiers in Psychology (2023)Female Friendships: Why Women Supporting Women Matters

In this episode, I slow things down and ask a question we rarely give ourselves space to answer: what’s your relationship with yourself, really? I explore how self-trust can slowly fade under the pressure to fit in, be liked, and be “good girls.” I share my own experience of growing up in Poland, learning early on to edit my thoughts, words, and instincts, and how that pattern followed me into adulthood and into moving to the UK—where I hoped for freedom but instead found myself questioning myself all over again.

We dive into women and people pleasing, and how being taught to accommodate, nurture, and put others first quietly pulls us away from self-love, intuition, and setting boundaries as a woman. I weave personal reflection with psychological research to unpack why so many of us feel lost as adults—not because something is wrong with us, but because we’ve been shaped to survive rather than trust ourselves.

I introduce the BRAVING framework by Brené Brown as a gentle way of rebuilding trust in yourself, learning to set boundaries without guilt, and stepping out of people pleasing. This conversation is honest, grounding, and an invitation to stop performing who you think you should be and start listening to who you actually are. The takeaway is simple: self-trust isn’t built in big moments—it grows in the small, quiet choices where you choose yourself.

Highlights:

• 00:06 The Journey to Self-Discovery
• 06:41 Impact of Gender Stereotypes
• 16:17 The Braving Model: Rebuilding Self-Trust

  Connect with Kam
  Instagram @coachingwithkam

  Kamila Turek | LinkedIn

  
  Links to Articles:
  https://www.artsci.utoronto.ca/news/people-pleasing-linked-gender-differences-problem-solving-study
  Braving the Wilderness - Brené Brown
  

In this episode, I dive into the often-misunderstood world of sexual fantasies—why they’re completely normal, and why so many of us, especially women, feel shame or judgment around them. I explore female desire and women’s sexuality, and how our fantasies can reveal deeper psychological and emotional needs connected to intimacy, safety, power, and connection. Blending personal reflection with research, I reframe sexual exploration and healthy fantasies not as something “wrong” or embarrassing, but as meaningful, human expressions of who we are. We talk about sexual shame, sexual wellness, and how shame shapes our relationship with desire—especially when it comes to talking about fantasies with a partner. This conversation is both tender and honest, and an invitation to approach desire with curiosity rather than judgment. The core takeaway is simple but powerful: your fantasies don’t mean something is wrong with you—they might be showing you exactly what you need.

Highlights

• 00:05 Exploring Sexual Fantasies
• 05:25 Unpacking Personal Experience
• 10:36 Reframing Fantasies and Understanding Inner World
• 15:36 Positive Impact of Sexual Fantasies
  
  Connect with Kam
  Instagram @coachingwithkam

  Kamila Turek | LinkedIn
  
  Links to Articles:
  Lehmiller, J.J. (2018). Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Da Capo Press.
  Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life

January often tells us to rush, reset, and reinvent ourselves—but winter asks for something very different. In this guest episode, I’m joined by Emily, a transformational coach and close friend, for a thoughtful conversation about gentle thriving, seasonal self-care, and why winter isn’t the time for big New Year’s resolutions.

We talk about slowing down instead of pushing forward, using winter as a season for rest, reflection, and preparation, and caring for yourself now so you can grow later. We share our personal experiences with burnout, how it shaped our relationship with productivity, and why self-care, work–life balance, and sustainable productivity look different in colder, quieter months.

This episode is an invitation to move with the season, honor your energy, and choose a softer way of supporting yourself through winter.

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
• 06:48 Pressure and Vulnerability in January
• 12:40 Gentle Thriving Approach
• 18:09 Impact of Burnout and Identity
• 23:29 The Pursuit of Happiness
• 28:36 Raising Baseline Happiness
• 36:07 Tips for Well-Being
  
  Connect with Kam
  Instagram @coachingwithkam

  Kamila Turek | LinkedIn
  
  Connect with Emily

• Website: www.emilydaviescoaching.com
• Newsletter sign up: https://www.emilydaviescoaching.com/newsletter
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilydaviescoaching/
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/eadavies

  Resting Right Toolkit: https://emilydaviescoaching.podia.com/resting-right-toolkit

I’ve been thinking a lot about the questions you sent after the salary and confidence episode—especially the ones about visibility.

Why does it feel like other people get noticed when you’re doing just as much, if not more? And how do you talk about your work without feeling awkward, pushy, or arrogant?

In this episode, I unpack why personal branding isn’t about self-promotion or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about professional visibility—being intentional with what you already bring, so your work doesn’t stay invisible.

I share my own experience of learning how to get noticed at work in a way that actually felt authentic, along with a simple, research-backed framework you can use to strengthen your workplace reputation and support career advancement—especially if self-promotion has always felt uncomfortable.

This is a grounded, practical conversation about visibility, confidence, and owning your value without changing who you are.

Highlights:
(02:23) The real difference between reputation and personal branding
(04:32) Three reflection questions that change how you see yourself
(06:23) The visibility shift that changed my confidence at work
(08:31) What research says about who actually gets ahead
(11:12) The five step authentic brand method
(16:54) How to self promote without sounding arrogant

Links to Articles:

https://hbr.org/2023/11/how-to-self-promote-witho

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/1359432X.2023.2276533ut-sounding-self-centered

https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02662/full

Are You Below the Happiness Poverty Line

Today’s episode is a quiet but powerful one. I’m talking about well being through the lens of positive psychology, not hustle, productivity or pretending everything’s fine. 

If you’ve ever looked like you were doing well on the outside but felt empty, tired or disconnected on the inside, this conversation is for you.

I share my own experience with burnout, the idea of the happiness poverty line, and why life satisfaction matters more than we’re taught to admit. We also explore the PERMA framework and how joy, meaning, connection and progress can be rebuilt gently, without fixing yourself or doing more. 

This is an invitation to slow down, check in and make space for what actually matters.

Highlights:

(01:45) A simple check in that reveals how you’re really doing
(05:10) What the happiness poverty line actually means
(07:40) When life looks good but feels empty
(09:31) Introducing the PERMA framework for well being
(13:05) Why joy isn’t selfish, it’s essential
(16:10) Choosing one small shift that supports you

The PERMA Model: Your Scientific Theory of Happiness

This episode is an invitation to slow down and really notice how you show up in the world, starting with what you wear. 

I explore how getting dressed is never just practical, it is emotional, psychological, and deeply connected to identity. From using clothes as armour to using them as expression, I share how our wardrobes often reflect inner shifts long before we have words for them.

We talk about confidence, self awareness, and how small, intentional wardrobe choices can support personal growth without needing a full reinvention. 

If you have ever felt disconnected from your clothes, stuck in old versions of yourself, or curious about how to dress for the life you are becoming, this episode will meet you exactly where you are.

Highlights:
(01:05) Why getting dressed is never just about clothes
(03:12) How outfits act as emotional armour or self expression
(05:58) The hidden emotional history living in your wardrobe
(09:10) Psychological proximity and why clothes feel so personal
(12:34) How embodied cognition changes how you think and feel
(17:18) Simple wardrobe shifts to support your future self

References:

Sontag, M. S., & Lee, J. (2004). Proximity of Clothing to Self Scale. Clothing and Textiles Research Journal, 22(4), 161-169.

Pine, K. J. (2014). Mind What You Wear: The Psychology of Fashion. 

Wilson, M. (2002). Six views of embodied cognition. Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, 9(4), 625-636.

Adam, H., & Galinsky, A. D. (2012). Enclothed cognition. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(4), 918-925.