The Self-ish Me Podcast

In this episode, I dive into the often-misunderstood world of sexual fantasies—why they’re completely normal, and why so many of us, especially women, feel shame or judgment around them. I explore female desire and women’s sexuality, and how our fantasies can reveal deeper psychological and emotional needs connected to intimacy, safety, power, and connection. Blending personal reflection with research, I reframe sexual exploration and healthy fantasies not as something “wrong” or embarrassing, but as meaningful, human expressions of who we are. We talk about sexual shame, sexual wellness, and how shame shapes our relationship with desire—especially when it comes to talking about fantasies with a partner. This conversation is both tender and honest, and an invitation to approach desire with curiosity rather than judgment. The core takeaway is simple but powerful: your fantasies don’t mean something is wrong with you—they might be showing you exactly what you need.

Highlights

• 00:05 Exploring Sexual Fantasies
• 05:25 Unpacking Personal Experience
• 10:36 Reframing Fantasies and Understanding Inner World
• 15:36 Positive Impact of Sexual Fantasies
  
  Connect with Kam
  Instagram @coachingwithkam

  Kamila Turek | LinkedIn
  
  Links to Articles:
  Lehmiller, J.J. (2018). Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Da Capo Press.
  Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life

January often tells us to rush, reset, and reinvent ourselves—but winter asks for something very different. In this guest episode, I’m joined by Emily, a transformational coach and close friend, for a thoughtful conversation about gentle thriving, seasonal self-care, and why winter isn’t the time for big New Year’s resolutions.

We talk about slowing down instead of pushing forward, using winter as a season for rest, reflection, and preparation, and caring for yourself now so you can grow later. We share our personal experiences with burnout, how it shaped our relationship with productivity, and why self-care, work–life balance, and sustainable productivity look different in colder, quieter months.

This episode is an invitation to move with the season, honor your energy, and choose a softer way of supporting yourself through winter.

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
• 06:48 Pressure and Vulnerability in January
• 12:40 Gentle Thriving Approach
• 18:09 Impact of Burnout and Identity
• 23:29 The Pursuit of Happiness
• 28:36 Raising Baseline Happiness
• 36:07 Tips for Well-Being
  
  Connect with Kam
  Instagram @coachingwithkam

  Kamila Turek | LinkedIn
  
  Connect with Emily

• Website: www.emilydaviescoaching.com
• Newsletter sign up: https://www.emilydaviescoaching.com/newsletter
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilydaviescoaching/
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/eadavies

  Resting Right Toolkit: https://emilydaviescoaching.podia.com/resting-right-toolkit

I’ve been thinking a lot about the questions you sent after the salary and confidence episode—especially the ones about visibility.

Why does it feel like other people get noticed when you’re doing just as much, if not more? And how do you talk about your work without feeling awkward, pushy, or arrogant?

In this episode, I unpack why personal branding isn’t about self-promotion or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about professional visibility—being intentional with what you already bring, so your work doesn’t stay invisible.

I share my own experience of learning how to get noticed at work in a way that actually felt authentic, along with a simple, research-backed framework you can use to strengthen your workplace reputation and support career advancement—especially if self-promotion has always felt uncomfortable.

This is a grounded, practical conversation about visibility, confidence, and owning your value without changing who you are.

Highlights:
(02:23) The real difference between reputation and personal branding
(04:32) Three reflection questions that change how you see yourself
(06:23) The visibility shift that changed my confidence at work
(08:31) What research says about who actually gets ahead
(11:12) The five step authentic brand method
(16:54) How to self promote without sounding arrogant

Links to Articles:

https://hbr.org/2023/11/how-to-self-promote-witho

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/1359432X.2023.2276533ut-sounding-self-centered

https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02662/full

Are You Below the Happiness Poverty Line

Today’s episode is a quiet but powerful one. I’m talking about well being through the lens of positive psychology, not hustle, productivity or pretending everything’s fine. 

If you’ve ever looked like you were doing well on the outside but felt empty, tired or disconnected on the inside, this conversation is for you.

I share my own experience with burnout, the idea of the happiness poverty line, and why life satisfaction matters more than we’re taught to admit. We also explore the PERMA framework and how joy, meaning, connection and progress can be rebuilt gently, without fixing yourself or doing more. 

This is an invitation to slow down, check in and make space for what actually matters.

Highlights:

(01:45) A simple check in that reveals how you’re really doing
(05:10) What the happiness poverty line actually means
(07:40) When life looks good but feels empty
(09:31) Introducing the PERMA framework for well being
(13:05) Why joy isn’t selfish, it’s essential
(16:10) Choosing one small shift that supports you

The PERMA Model: Your Scientific Theory of Happiness

This episode is an invitation to slow down and really notice how you show up in the world, starting with what you wear. 

I explore how getting dressed is never just practical, it is emotional, psychological, and deeply connected to identity. From using clothes as armour to using them as expression, I share how our wardrobes often reflect inner shifts long before we have words for them.

We talk about confidence, self awareness, and how small, intentional wardrobe choices can support personal growth without needing a full reinvention. 

If you have ever felt disconnected from your clothes, stuck in old versions of yourself, or curious about how to dress for the life you are becoming, this episode will meet you exactly where you are.

Highlights:
(01:05) Why getting dressed is never just about clothes
(03:12) How outfits act as emotional armour or self expression
(05:58) The hidden emotional history living in your wardrobe
(09:10) Psychological proximity and why clothes feel so personal
(12:34) How embodied cognition changes how you think and feel
(17:18) Simple wardrobe shifts to support your future self

References:

Sontag, M. S., & Lee, J. (2004). Proximity of Clothing to Self Scale. Clothing and Textiles Research Journal, 22(4), 161-169.

Pine, K. J. (2014). Mind What You Wear: The Psychology of Fashion. 

Wilson, M. (2002). Six views of embodied cognition. Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, 9(4), 625-636.

Adam, H., & Galinsky, A. D. (2012). Enclothed cognition. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(4), 918-925.

Today’s episode is a quiet but powerful one. I’m talking about well being through the lens of positive psychology, not hustle, productivity or pretending everything’s fine.

If you’ve ever looked like you were doing well on the outside but felt empty, tired or disconnected on the inside, this conversation is for you.

I share my own experience with burnout, the idea of the happiness poverty line, and why life satisfaction matters more than we’re taught to admit. We also explore the PERMA framework and how joy, meaning, connection and progress can be rebuilt gently, without fixing yourself or doing more.

This is an invitation to slow down, check in and make space for what actually matters.

Highlights:

(01:45) A simple check in that reveals how you’re really doing

(05:10) What the happiness poverty line actually means

(07:40) When life looks good but feels empty

(09:31) Introducing the PERMA framework for well being

(13:05) Why joy isn’t selfish, it’s essential

(16:10) Choosing one small shift that supports you

Connect with Kamila:

Insta (@self_is_me) • Instagram photos and videos

LinkedIn Kamila Turek | LinkedIn

This episode is an invitation to slow down and really notice how you show up in the world, starting with what you wear.

I explore how getting dressed is never just practical, it is emotional, psychological, and deeply connected to identity. From using clothes as armour to using them as expression, I share how our wardrobes often reflect inner shifts long before we have words for them.

We talk about confidence, self awareness, and how small, intentional wardrobe choices can support personal growth without needing a full reinvention.

If you have ever felt disconnected from your clothes, stuck in old versions of yourself, or curious about how to dress for the life you are becoming, this episode will meet you exactly where you are.

Highlights:

(01:05) Why getting dressed is never just about clothes

(03:12) How outfits act as emotional armour or self expression

(05:58) The hidden emotional history living in your wardrobe

(09:10) Psychological proximity and why clothes feel so personal

(12:34) How embodied cognition changes how you think and feel

(17:18) Simple wardrobe shifts to support your future self

References:

Sontag, M. S., & Lee, J. (2004). Proximity of Clothing to Self Scale. Clothing and Textiles Research Journal, 22(4), 161-169.

Pine, K. J. (2014). Mind What You Wear: The Psychology of Fashion.

Wilson, M. (2002). Six views of embodied cognition. Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, 9(4), 625-636.

Adam, H., & Galinsky, A. D. (2012). Enclothed cognition. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(4), 918-925.

Connect with Kamila:

Insta (@self_is_me) • Instagram photos and videos

LinkedIn Kamila Turek | LinkedIn

In this episode I open a conversation I wish someone had given me decades ago. I talk about female pleasure, the history that misinformed us and the confusion so many of us carry because we were never taught how our bodies actually work.

Growing up in a Catholic country, sex was something to fear, avoid or keep quiet, and pleasure was never discussed. I did not even know girls could masturbate until I was in my thirties. That silence shaped everything, including the way I showed up in relationships.

I share the moment that changed everything for me, when I finally gave myself permission to explore my body without shame, pressure or performance. Understanding my own pleasure transformed my confidence, my self worth and the way I communicate in intimate relationships.

I walk you through the science we were never taught, why clitoral stimulation matters, the gaps many women experience and the practical communication tools that make sex more equal, more honest and far more satisfying.

Highlights:

(01:34) Why women were taught to ignore or minimise their own pleasure

(04:55) The shocking gaps in sex education and body knowledge

(08:10) My late bloomer moment and the shift that changed everything

(09:18) How misinformation led me to dismiss clitoral orgasms

(12:42) The benefits of self pleasure and why it boosts confidence

(15:05) Communication tools that create better sex for both partners

References:

Sexual Self-Efficacy and Entitlement to Pleasure: The Association of the Female Sexual Subjectivity Inventory with Sexual Risk Taking and Experience of Orgasm - PubMedWomen's Sexual Satisfaction, Communication, and Reasons for (No Longer) Faking Orgasm: Findings from a U.S. Probability Sample - PubMed (2019)

Full article: Why Did You Stop? Reasons for Stopping Faking Orgasms and Its Association with Sexual, Relationship, and Life Satisfaction in Denmark, Finland, France, Norway, Sweden, and the UK

The Incidental Orgasm: The Presence of Clitoral Knowledge and the Absence of Orgasm for Women: Women & Health: Vol 42, No 1

Connect with Kamila:

Insta (@self_is_me) • Instagram photos and videos

LinkedIn Kamila Turek | LinkedIn

Talking about money can feel awkward, but honestly, it is one of the most empowering conversations we can have. In this episode I share how small mindset shifts can change the way we approach salary negotiations, and why understanding your value is key to shaping the career and life you want.

We look at the real impact of the gender pay gap, the social norms that hold women back, and the practical steps you can take to feel more confident asking for what you deserve.

I also open up about my own early mistakes, including the moment a friend’s simple question completely changed the way I see negotiation.

This chat is all about encouragement, clarity and giving you tools you can use straight away. You deserve fair pay, real choice and a career that reflects your talent, and I hope this episode helps you take a step closer to that.

Highlights:

(01:36) Why money shapes more of our life choices than we realise

(03:22) The moment I learned negotiating was even an option

(05:40) Three reflection questions to understand your patterns

(09:52) The social norms that quietly hold women back

(12:18) Four practical strategies to negotiate with confidence

(16:10) A reminder that your salary is not your worth

Women Don't Ask | Princeton University Press

Ask For A Raise? Most Women Hesitate : NPR

Connect with Kamila:

Insta (@self_is_me) • Instagram photos and videos

LinkedIn Kamila Turek | LinkedIn

This episode is deeply personal and deeply needed.

I talk about menstrual health in the way most of us were never encouraged to, with honesty, compassion and the space to finally feel heard.

So many of us grew up thinking our pain was normal or something to hide, and for years I carried shame, doubt and silence around my own experiences. If that sounds familiar, this conversation is for you.

I share my early memories, the fear of speaking up, the years of being dismissed and the relief of finally receiving an endometriosis diagnosis.

But this episode is not only about the struggle. It is about learning to advocate for yourself, creating safer conversations and remembering that your pain is real and your voice matters.

When we speak openly, we help other women feel less alone, and that changes everything.

Highlights:

(01:50) Why menstrual health continues to be overlooked

(04:45) A guided reflection on your first period and what it shaped

(07:20) My early experiences with pain and not being believed

(10:03) How endometriosis affects life, work and emotional wellbeing

(13:30) The workplace challenges women still face with period care

(16:40) Three ways to advocate for yourself and improve menstrual health support

The-State-of-Period-Equity-in-the-UK-Feb-2024.pdf

Ending endometriosis starts by saying it | Endometriosis UK

Connect with Kamila:

Insta (@self_is_me) • Instagram photos and videos

LinkedIn Kamila Turek | LinkedIn