Hot mattress talk, and it’s not the kind of mattress talk that makes your feel clean. There’s a 12ft bed and we can only think of one use for it. March Madness hasn’t quite caught up with Will, who is more interested in the Trail Blazers and NBA. The NFL is changing the rule book again for Tom Brady’s benefit and the Rams are behind it all.

The Portland Trail Blazers won their first game with Norman Powell. We’re all very excited, but also tempering our emotions in case he sucks later in the season. James Harden for real thinks he’s an MVP… Seriously… Jen Ellis is in studio to explain why spring training can mean the world for players and clubs. Will is watching Teen Mom 2, now.

How much money would it take for you to get your leg cut off by a bone saw? $2 million in cash? Tax free? The Beavers and Ducks are going dancing and it’s all in Sister Jean’s hands!!! Do you root for your rival when your team isn’t involved? A woman’s swimming curiosity gets her lost. WOW!

The Portland Trail Blazers played last night and won. But more importantly; chicken nuggets go well with milkshakes. We examine the diverse body types of college basketball players and their grooming habits. Jen Ellis joins the show to preview opening day food. Where did you get a good hot dog?

Have you ever Google-d the work “Chicken”? There are no actual chickens on the image page. WHY!?!?!? Examining children’s books and why they’re bad for your children. The Portland Trail Blazers are playing really well now that CJ is back. We review the best taser/cell phone holders on the market.

Can Damian Lillard bring stars to Portland? It just doesn’t seem that way… but Luke thinks it’s bigger than that! The Bears are making real push for Russell Wilson and it just doesn’t seem to make sense. Jen Ellis is in studio for BASEBALL!!! We pick the top three albums kids should listen to.

A deep dive examination of Paul Rudd movies and why he was totally the star of Clueless!!! Beavers get a big win and the NCAA Tournament is right around the corner. Can college basketball save itself from irrelevance? Some guy gets liquid nitrogen poured on his groin… YOUCH!!!

A Michael Jordan story about gambling gets out of hand. We tell stories about the worst “fix-it-yourself” moments including an axel fix on a car and duct taping your wall. Jen Ellis is in studio to comment on MLB rule changes.

Will reveals that he was a Teck Deck finger skateboard kid in the 1990’s while Luke’s high school ran trick plays at assemblies. Gonzaga is doing really well and no one really notices. Some guy lit his yard on fire to get rid of snow. GENIUS!

The NBA City Edition jerseys are unsavory and should be thrown into a large cavern in New Mexico. Should the NFL give players the freedom to move teams, as the NBA does with their dudes? Jen Ellis is in studio to preview the start of baseball season!