Welcome to another empowering episode of The Spilled Milk Podcast, where Lala and Yolie share stories of courage, transformation, and the human spirit. This week, the ladies were thrilled to welcome Amanda Butler, a distinguished fitness trainer and inspiring breast cancer survivor, who joins them on the "couch". Amanda shares her remarkable journey of resilience and personal growth.

In this episode, Amanda takes us through the pivotal moments of her life-changing diagnosis and her path to recovery. She discusses the profound impact of positive thinking and staying present, which have been crucial in her fight against cancer and in navigating life thereafter. Amanda also opens up about the emotional rollercoaster of her treatment, the importance of allowing herself to truly experience and process her emotions, and how journaling has served as a therapeutic outlet during her toughest times.

The ladies' conversation also explores the crucial role of community and support systems during challenging periods. Amanda highlights how vital it has been to set healthy boundaries with family and friends to manage her energy and focus on healing. They also delve into the nuances of self-care and the delicate balance between giving to others and receiving support, which has been essential for her well-being.

As the ladies discuss the challenges of finding a new purpose after cancer, Amanda shares insights on how she has, and still is, redefined her life goals and embracing new opportunities that align with her passions and values. The episode wraps up with Amanda sharing her life motto: "Try everything twice and always be open to miracles," which encapsulates her approach to life post-cancer — one filled with hope, gratitude, and openness to new experiences.

Tune in to hear how resilience, community, and a positive mindset can turn adversity into an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction and Special Guest

08:05 The Importance of Community and Support

15:42 Cancer Baddies and Creating a Supportive Community

31:49 Being Present and Grounded in the Moment

39:07 Setting Boundaries for Emotional Well-being

51:52 Gratitude as a Grounding Practice

In this episode of The Spilled Milk Podcast, Lala and Yolie delve into the critical subject of establishing healthy boundaries in relationships. This episode, the first of a two, possibly, three-part series, addresses the necessity of boundaries to counteract harmful behaviors like disrespect, manipulation, and abuse. They discuss the patterns of behavior that necessitate boundaries and how these limits are pivotal for maintaining one's energy and well-being.

Lala and Yolie explore the detrimental effects of over-dependence and underscore the importance of self-care and personal space. They navigate through themes of acceptance, limit-testing, and control, highlighting how boundaries serve as indicators of mutual respect and care within relationships.

Sharing personal anecdotes, Lala stresses the urgent need to set boundaries to prevent harmful situations, while Yolie reflects on how asserting 'no' can foster self-understanding and deeper insights into relational dynamics.

As the conversation unfolds, they emphasize recognizing and establishing clear boundaries to safeguard against toxic behavior, noting the adverse effects on both the victim and the offender. The hosts advocate for starting with a vision and values to reverse engineer one’s life, promoting a lifestyle of freedom and harmony.

Concluding this part of the series, Yolie and Lala leave the listeners with a powerful message on the transformative impact of healthy boundaries in nurturing and sustaining fulfilling relationships.

TAKEAWAYS

Setting healthy boundaries is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships.

Patterns of harmful and hurtful behavior, such as disrespect, manipulation, violations of privacy, and abuse, necessitate the need for boundaries.

Recognizing when boundaries are needed and implementing them can have a positive impact on daily interactions.

Boundaries are essential for protecting one's energy and well-being.

This episode is part one of a two-part series on boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries is crucial in relationships to avoid over-dependence and maintain self-care.

Accepting harmful behavior without expressing boundaries can lead to the belief that it is acceptable and does not need to change.

Testing limits can occur when boundaries are not established, and offenders may push boundaries further to see how much they can get away with.

Lack of boundaries can lead to control and power imbalances in relationships.

Saying no and establishing boundaries can reveal how much someone truly cares for you and can lead to a better understanding of oneself and others. Recognize and establish boundaries in relationships to protect oneself

Be aware of harmful and hurtful behavior and set boundaries accordingly

Understand the normalization of toxic behavior and its impact on both the victim and the offender

Reverse engineer your life by starting with a vision and values to live a life of freedom and harmony

CHAPTERS

00:00 The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

09:18 Recognizing Patterns of Harmful Behavior that Require Boundaries

32:05 The Impact of Abuse and the Importance of Boundaries

38:33 The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries

46:26 Interdependence and Reliance on Each Other

57:46 Recognizing and Addressing Unacceptable Behavior

01:06:57 Rehabilitation, Second Chances, and Accountability

01:13:46 Control, Power, and Manipulation in Relationships

01:16:38 Recognizing and Establishing Boundaries

01:19:13 Understanding Harmful and Hurtful Behavior

01:22:07 The Normalization of Toxic Behavior

01:44:59 Reverse Engineering Your Life for Freedom and Harmony

In this episode of The Spilled Milk Podcast, Lala and Yolie delve into the nuances of mastering communication in relationships. They kick off by sharing recent experiences that underscore the importance of active listening and fostering a curiosity-driven dialogue. The ladies stress the value of validating others' experiences, creating a space where everyone feels heard and understood.

Lala and Yolie then navigate the delicate art of providing constructive feedback, advocating for a respectful and considerate approach. They highlight the necessity of seeing from the other person’s viewpoint, ensuring feedback is both digestible and actionable. The discussion deepens as they explore how curiosity aids in supporting and resolving conflicts, emphasizing clear and assertive communication.

Further into the conversation, the hosts underscore the significance of empathy and open-mindedness, touching on how consistency in communication contributes to effective conflict resolution. Yolie and Lala champion the need for grace and understanding throughout these interactions.

Concluding the episode, the duo reflects on the power of words and their lasting impact on relationships. They wrap up with a crucial dialogue on setting and respecting boundaries, reinforcing the foundation for healthy, honest, and empathetic communication.

TAKEAWAYS

Active listening is crucial in effective communication, and it involves being present, asking questions, and avoiding distractions.

Validating someone's experience does not mean agreeing with them, but rather showing that you hear and understand them.

Approach conversations with curiosity and a desire to understand the other person's perspective.

Create a safe space for open and honest communication, where individuals feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions.

Practice empathy and open-mindedness to foster better understanding and connection in relationships.

Deliver constructive feedback in a non-critical manner to promote growth and avoid defensive reactions. Deliver constructive feedback in a respectful and considerate manner

Understand the person's perspective and deliver feedback in a digestible and actionable way

Practice active listening and ask clarifying questions

Provide specific examples when giving feedback

Approach conflicts with curiosity and seek to understand the other person's point of view

Communicate clearly and assertively, while being respectful and kind

Be consistent in giving feedback and resolving conflicts

Extend grace and understanding in the process Effective communication in relationships requires honesty, empathy, awareness, and responsiveness.

Words have power and can have a lasting impact on others.

Setting boundaries is important for maintaining healthy relationships.

Silence can be an appropriate response in certain situations.

Choose your words and your silence wisely.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction and Recent Experiences

15:59 Mastering the Art of Communication and Active Listening

23:53 Creating a Safe Space for Open Communication

27:21 Affirming Experiences without Agreement

31:07 Practicing Empathy and Open-Mindedness

32:05 Delivering Constructive Feedback

33:02 Delivering Constructive Feedback with Respect and Consideration

35:51 The Role of Curiosity in Offering Support and Resolving Conflicts

39:47 Clear and Assertive Communication for Effective Feedback

45:31 Extending Grace and Understanding in Conflict Resolution

01:08:10 The Importance of Effective Communication

01:09:34 Knowing Yourself and Your Partner

01:10:30 The Mission of Freedom and Healing

01:11:28 Understanding the Root of Conflict

01:13:01 Expressing Love and Acceptance

01:13:55 Trying Again in Relationships

01:17:04 The Power of Words and Silence

01:24:17 Setting Boundaries for Healthy Relationships

In this engaging episode, Lala and Yolie reflect on their eventful trip to Houston, highlighting the lessons learned about the necessity of support in fostering healthy relationships. They delve into the significance of emotional and physical support, the transformative power of vulnerability, and the importance of nurturing healthy female friendships. The conversation covers challenges in relationships like communication barriers and past traumas, emphasizing self-awareness and healing. The ladies also touch on the cultural impact of Beyoncé's country album "Cowboy Carter," celebrating achievements and advocating for self-worth in personal connections. The episode concludes with a nod to the importance of mastering communication skills in maintaining healthy relationships.

TAKEAWAYS

Healthy relationships provide emotional and physical support contributing to greater happiness and satisfaction in life.

Healthy relationships foster self-discovery and personal growth. Create a safe space for authenticity in relationships and be all of yourself.

Challenges in relationships can include communication issues, past traumas, unrealistic expectations, and fear of intimacy.

Self-awareness, healing, and self-acceptance are crucial in navigating relationships.

Effective communication, curiosity, and holding space for one another are key in building healthy relationships.

Establish boundaries and extend grace in relationships. Set a high standard for your life and surround yourself with friends who point you back to that anchor.

Walking away from unhealthy relationships is not easy, but it is necessary for personal growth and well-being.

Affirm that you deserve healthy relationships and prove it to yourself first.

Doing the inner work and talking kindly to yourself is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction

01:10 Disappointment in Houston

03:22 Commitment to Authenticity

04:47 Dealing with Health Issues

05:46 Challenges in Changing Plans

06:41 The Importance of Showing Up

08:15 The Purpose of The Spilled Milk Podcast

09:48 The Impact of Life's Spills and Splashes

12:17 The Importance of Holding Space

14:15 The Importance of Consistency

16:09 Introduction to the Empower Milk Message

20:40 Importance of Healthy Relationships

23:20 Overview of Relationship Topics

24:16 Importance of Emotional Support

25:43 Importance of Physical Support

26:35 Impact on Mental Well-being

28:20 Impact on Self-discovery

32:33 Importance of Spiritual Relationships

34:20 The Value of Vulnerability

37:37 The Importance of Healthy Female Relationships

40:02 Creating a Safe Space for Authenticity

41:26 Challenges in Relationships

43:21 Mastering Communication

44:18 The Impact of Communication on Relationships

45:48 Navigating Past Traumas

47:13 Managing Unrealistic Expectations

49:14 Fear of Intimacy and Vulnerability

50:08 Awareness of Personal Imprint

51:12 The Journey of Healing and Self-Awareness

52:40 Approaching Relationships with Curiosity

56:00 The Power of Effective Communication

57:24 The Importance of Self-Acceptance

58:51 Defining the Value of Relationships

01:00:29 The Practice of the Pause

01:04:16 Navigating Boundaries and Holding Space

01:10:09 Navigating Challenges in Relationships

01:17:07 The Importance of Effective Communication and Grace

01:20:44 The Standard of Your Life

01:21:32 Discernment in Relationships

01:22:02 Healthy Relationships Require Work

01:23:08 Walking Away from Unhealthy Relationships

01:25:31 Choosing God and the Uncomfortable Path

01:29:39 Defining the Foundation of Relationships

01:30:05 Beyoncé's Success in Country Music

01:32:47 Inventions and Legal Victories

01:35:31 Listener Reviews and Shoutouts

01:38:52 Nurturing Flourishing Relationships

01:39:24 Affirming Deserving Healthy Relationships

01:40:13 Doing the Work and Talking Nicely to Yourself

01:46:23 The Importance of Healthy Relationships

01:47:21 Uprooting and Leaving Unhealthy Environments

In this episode, Lala and Yolie discuss the topic of overcoming mental roadblocks, with a focus on relationships, self-care, and entrepreneurship.  Communication, therapy, and authenticity are discussed as essential elements for overcoming roadblocks in relationships. In the context of entrepreneurship, the conversation addresses mental roadblocks, scarcity mindset, and burnout.  The ladies also explore the concept of identity beyond labels, encouraging listeners to discover who they are outside of societal roles and expectations.  The hosts also highlight the need to celebrate personal progress and clap for oneself. The episode concludes with discussions on environmental issues, airplane safety concerns, and a courtroom drama involving Judge Glanville. 

TAKEAWAYS

Recognize your self-worth and embrace inner love and authenticity.

Discover your identity beyond societal labels and roles.

Overcome mental roadblocks by setting realistic expectations and understanding your feelings and needs.

Celebrate your progress and clap for yourself.

Be mindful of environmental issues and safety concerns in various industries.

Embrace mindfulness and curiosity in order to grow and nurture relationships.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction

01:27 Overcoming Mental Roadblocks

04:08 Relationships

08:37 Personal Challenges

11:54 Takeaways

35:33 Maintaining Individuality in a Relationship

37:16 Roadblocks in Relationships

38:43 Deterioration of Self in Relationships

39:17 Slowing Down and Being Present

41:08 Communication and Therapy in Relationships

44:19 Being Authentic in Relationships

48:59 Mindfulness and Personal Development in Relationships

51:39 Curiosity and Openness in Relationships

54:58 Mental Roadblocks in Entrepreneurship

57:19 Scarcity Mindset and Financial Roadblocks

58:48 Mindfulness and Resilience in Entrepreneurship

01:00:12 Imposter Syndrome and Being Authentic in Entrepreneurship

01:05:15 The Power of Self-Worth and Inner Love

01:06:21 Discovering Your Identity Beyond Labels

01:07:21 Overcoming Mental Roadblocks

01:09:17 Setting Realistic Expectations

01:10:45 Understanding Your Feelings and Needs

01:14:09 Celebrating Your Progress and Clapping for Yourself

01:15:07 Mad Cow: Louisiana's Toxic Air Pollution

01:17:21 Mad Cow: Boeing's Safety Issues

01:22:08 Judge Glanville's Courtroom Drama

01:25:43 Chatter Chai: Listener Reflections

01:29:07 Milk Reflection: Overcoming Mental Roadblocks

01:30:05 Final Sips: Embracing Mindfulness and Relationships

In this episode, the hosts Lala and Yolie discuss the concept of mindful unbinding, which involves releasing self-imposed mental chains that hold us back from living fully.  The beautiful ladies emphasize the importance of mindfulness in recognizing and tearing down the walls created by past experiences, fears, and successes. The conversation also explores the lack of self-trust due to past mistakes and the need to separate them from present capabilities. They discuss the power of the mind in creating burdens and barriers, and the importance of being present and trusting one's feelings. The episode concludes with a discussion on embracing painful moments and breaking free from the past. 

TAKEAWAYS

Mindful unbinding involves releasing self-imposed mental chains that hold us back from living fully.

Recognize the lack of self-trust due to past mistakes and separate them from present capabilities.

Be present and trust your feelings to break free from the mind's resistance and control the uncontrollable.

Embrace painful moments as opportunities for growth and transformation. Unbind the mind and stay present in order to fully experience life.

Focus on the good things and break negative patterns.

Mistakes remind us to rest and rely on God, and He helps us clean up our messes.

Maintain curiosity in every aspect of life and don't let shame hold you back.

Choose freedom and joy, and don't allow self-imposed chains to imprison you.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to Mindful Unbinding

02:23 Spill the Skim: Embracing Mindfulness

05:01 Reflecting on Past Mistakes

12:04 The Role of the Mind in Mindful Unbinding

26:34 The Power of Inward Vows

33:30 Trusting Your Feelings and Being Present

39:07 The Mind's Resistance and Controlling the Uncontrollable

44:26 Embracing Painful Moments and Breaking Free

45:47 Unbinding the Mind

46:13 Focus on the Good Things

46:43 Breaking Negative Patterns

47:12 Stay in the Present

47:41 Mommy Guilt

48:22 Mistakes Remind Us to Rest and Rely on God

48:52 God Helps Us Clean Up Our Mess

49:23 Nothing New Under the Sun

49:51 Shame of Making Mistakes

50:33 Maintain Curiosity in Every Aspect of Life

51:02 Don't Miss Out on the Fullness and Goodness of Life

51:29 Understanding the Love of God

52:29 Recognizing the Spiritual Battle

53:32 Renew the Mind and Focus on Positive Declarations

54:33 Unbind the Mind for Inner Peace

55:04 Don't Allow Mental Narratives to Take Control

55:33 Be Mindful and Present

56:02 Escape the Future and Past Thinking

56:30 Engage in Mindful Awareness

57:28 Choose Freedom and Joy

58:19 Adopt a 'Who Said' Mindset

59:35 Pick Better and Avoid Judgment

01:00:21 Reflect on Recent Situation and Self-Imposed Chains

01:00:38 Stay Curious and Keep Your Mind Open

01:01:09 Mad Cow: Tragic Incident

01:04:41 Mad Cow: Turkey Leg Cut Drama

01:11:27 Giggles and Cream: Turkey Leg Cut Pop-Up Shop

01:16:03 Espresso Shot: Choose Freedom and Joy

01:23:09 Final Sips: Stay Curious and Choose Freedom

In this episode of The Spilled Milk Podcast, Lala and Yolie discuss the basics of mindfulness part two.  The ladies cover topics such as setting boundaries, letting go of relationships, and the importance of patience and trust. They emphasize the need to trust oneself and listen to one's intuition while also highlight the cost of not relinquishing control and the importance of forgiveness and self-compassion.  The hosts also explore the need for black women to trust themselves and take up space, both in relationships and in public spaces.  Overall, the conversation explores the key principles of mindfulness and how they can enhance one's well-being and relationships.  The conversation concludes with some lighthearted moments in the Giggles and Cream segment, followed by a Milk Reflection on the key themes of mindfulness and authenticity.

Takeaways

Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships.

Letting go of relationships that no longer serve you is necessary for personal growth.

Practicing patience allows for things to unfold naturally and reduces stress and anxiety.

Trusting oneself and listening to one's intuition is crucial for making sound decisions. Black women should not feel the need to prove their loyalty or dispel false narratives about their identity.

Trusting oneself and taking up space is essential for personal growth and healthy relationships.

Non-striving and being fully present can lead to peace and contentment.

It is important to embrace mindfulness and authenticity in order to live a fulfilling life.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction

00:53 Deliciousness and Affirmation

01:29 Boundaries and Relationships

06:20 Letting Go of Relationships

09:32 The Cost of Not Relinquishing Control

12:47 Patience

29:14 Trust

34:35 Dispelling False Narratives and Martyrdom

38:02 Trusting Yourself and Taking Up Space

43:09 Non-Striving and Being Fully Present

56:16 Giggles and Cream: Nelly's Tooth and AT&T Outage

01:04:31 Final Thoughts on Mindfulness and Authenticity

In this episode, the hosts, Lala and Yolie, discuss the importance of practicing the pause and navigating co-parenting. In this conversation, the beautiful ladies discuss the principles of mindfulness, focusing on non-judgmental observation, acceptance, and the beginner's mind. They emphasize the importance of observing without judgment and accepting the present moment as it is. Lala and Yolie also highlight the value of approaching life with curiosity and openness, like a child experiencing things for the first time with the conversation touching on topics such as judgment, recognition, and the need for self-compassion. Overall, the discussion encourages listeners to embrace mindfulness and its transformative power in their lives.

Takeaways

Practicing the pause can help in navigating challenging situations and co-parenting.

Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and observing without judgment.

Nonjudgmental observation allows for empathy, compassion, and learning from others.

Recognizing the present moment and letting go of distractions can lead to a more peaceful and focused life.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:21 Skims, Spills, and Splashes

06:36 Navigating Co-parenting

08:17 Takeaways from Practicing the Pause

09:24 Introduction to Mindfulness

12:18 Experience with Mindfulness

23:03 Present Moment Awareness

29:36 Non-judgmental Observation

37:59 Non-judgmental observation and self-acceptance

43:06 Acceptance vs. resignation

47:36 The beginner's mind and curiosity

In this captivating episode, Lala and Yolie take us on a profound journey through the ebbs and flows of life's changes and challenges. With a special focus on self-reinvention and resilience, they introduce the transformative S.P.L.A.S.H. framework—Seek Clarity, Practice Patience & The Pause, Lean into Learning, Anchor in Adaptability, Solid Support Systems, and Hope—as a guide to navigate these waters with grace and fortitude. Alongside, they delve into the rich tapestry of country music, exploring its roots and resilience, while addressing the critical issues of cultural appropriation and the importance of acknowledging the genre's African American influences. Celebrating Black History Month, they highlight the significance of equality and access in the music industry. The conversation also touches on personal growth, with Yolie and Lala sharing insights on the importance of patience, understanding through miscommunication, and the art of honoring oneself by resting in the process. This episode is not just a discussion; it's an invitation to reflect, learn, and grow, offering listeners final tips on embracing resilience as effortlessly as breathing.

Takeaways

Resilience is key to navigating life's challenges and changes.

Seek clarity and define the challenges and changes you are facing.

Practice patience and the pause to allow for self-reflection and intentional responses.

Lean into learning and embrace new opportunities for growth.

Anchor in adaptability and be open to new ways of thinking and adjusting as needed.

Build solid support systems that uplift and hold you accountable.

Maintain a hopeful outlook towards the future and stay connected to your dreams and values. Yielding and compromising in relationships is important for maintaining harmony.

Impatience with progress is common, but it's important to be patient with oneself and trust the process.

Honoring oneself and resting in the process are key to personal growth and well-being.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:11 Living Life to the Fullest

02:04 Spill the Skim: Great Wolf Lodge Experience

08:14 Resilient Roots: History of Country Music

19:34 Empower Milk Message: Navigating Change with Resilience

50:09 Yielding and Maintaining Metrics

51:16 Miscommunication and Understanding

52:15 Resilience in Country Music

56:41 Addressing Cultural Appropriation

57:06 Acknowledging Contributions and History

59:10 Appreciating Black History Month

01:00:05 Equality and Access

01:02:32 Chatter Chai and Podcast Reviews

01:04:34 Reflecting on Impatience with Progress

01:05:51 Final Tips: Honoring Yourself and Resting in the Process

In this episode of The Spilled Milk Podcast Unhinged, Lala and Yolie discuss the importance of wellness and resilience. They emphasize the need to prioritize all aspects of wellness, including physical fitness, nutrition, and mental health. The ladies also introduce the FLLW Framework, which focuses on family, lifestyle, legacy, and wellness. The hosts highlight the significance of leaving a lasting legacy and the importance of not getting attached to material possessions. A recurring theme is the importance of living in love with God and aligning one's actions with their beliefs while embracing the journey and being present in life. The conversation also touches on redefining success and freedom, choosing obedience, and creating a supportive environment for personal growth. They conclude by highlighting the value of embracing disruption and growth in order to live a more fulfilling and authentic life.

TAKEAWAYS

Prioritize all aspects of wellness, including physical fitness, nutrition, and mental health.

Create a balance in life by focusing on family, lifestyle, legacy, and wellness.

Leave a lasting legacy by prioritizing what truly matters and not getting attached to material possessions.

Live in love with God and align actions with beliefs. Embrace the journey and be present in every moment of life.

Trust the timing of your life changes and take leaps of faith.

Practice resilience and stewardship in navigating challenges.

Follow God's guidance and be open to redefining success and freedom.

Choose obedience and create a supportive environment for personal growth.

Embrace disruption and growth to live a more fulfilling and authentic life.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Wellness and Resilience

13:06 The Symphony of Life

20:48 Follow Framework: Family, Lifestyle, Legacy, Wellness

28:18 If You Can Light a Match, Don't Get Attached

36:17 Living in Love with God

49:56 Embracing the Journey

54:01 Trusting the Timing

55:01 Preparing for Change

56:23 Taking the Leap of Faith

57:52 Navigating Challenges

58:49 Recognizing God's Guidance

59:56 Resilience and Stewardship

01:02:47 Trusting the Process

01:04:10 Being Present and Authentic

01:07:23 Redefining Success and Freedom

01:09:10 Choosing Obedience and Trusting God

01:14:19 Taking Action and Moving Forward

01:18:31 Creating a Supportive Environment

01:25:20 Embracing Disruption and Growth