The Spoon

As they say in jazz, "it’s more about the notes you don’t play, man." This week, the men of The Spoon - self-admitted projectile word vomiters, all - make an attempt to streamline their style and cut down on audible pauses, but the cure proves worse than the disease. Fortunately, Kelly Murphy is on hand to step in and fill the verbal gaps with aplomb, dropping adventurous anecdotes on everything from skydiving to stein wrangling, and acquits herself quite well in this first...er, premiere...uhm...debut appearance on the show. Music by The Condors, The Flame, and Les Sans Culottes.

We don’t want to say that this episode is carried by the guests and callers, but... well, we can’t think of another way to finish that sentence. After a few minutes of quality trio time, the men of The Spoon are joined by Anny Celsi and Carl Hanni, who bring the show yet another dose of "real radio" chops, as well as a gorgeous musical soundtrack which generates more phone buzz than usual for any episode that isn’t someone’s birthday. Also, drum crimes of the 80s, practical advice on removing wine from walls, the story of Rob’s first bus ride, and just what the deuce is up with Arizona, anyway?

Dave Berges brings the pain: pain borne of nostalgia, as his professional radio acumen invokes the formats of olde and the leather-helmeted DJs of yore; pain borne of laughter, as he unleashes zinger after zinger on a plethora of spoony topics; pain borne of pain, what with all the genital mutilation, whether real and voluntary or postulated and enforced. Plus, the fate of the studio corkscrew, a call from Pappy, and a moment for poetry corner. Come and get it! Music by The Pheremones

Pop quiz, hotshot: which of the following statements are true? 1) Oprah invented the term "vajayjay." 2) Tisdale wine is red. 3) Spanish technology is entirely dependent on squirrels. 4) Pam Dawber was killed by a stalker. 5) Rob’s imaginary childhood friend was named Corey. 6) There are no tacos in Italy. 7) Doctor Zee’s voice was dubbed. 8) The Mockers are our guests tonight. 9) The longest time anyone in this episode speaks without being interrupted is thirteen seconds. 10) Arizona does not exist. There will be no prizes awarded for correct answers, but the journey is its own reward... right?

Of all the multi-hyphenates to visit the show, Regent St Claire may be the multi-est of them all. Thrill to his adventures, both regular and mis, in the realms of comics, condoms, music, magic, love, loss, and legal entanglements which involve the Zimbabwean rights to Spider-Man. Also, pontification on the advantages of good closure skills and early-onset melancholia, the dangers of flying monkeys and fan fiction, the needless friction between zombie and football enthusiasts, and why it’s always best to embrace the stoopid. Music by Castle Blak and Monster Island

Tonight, we learn a little about the interconnectedness of all things. The five people in the room (including special guests Amanda Read and Brent McCracken) may be of disparate ages and origins, but childhood cruelty, pre-Internet memes, and the lure of video rodeo bind them together as surely as any mystical energy field that a Sith Lord could conjure, whether he had just returned from the dentist or not. Plus, The Human Centipede goes back to back -- heh -- with Elmo, and in science news, it turns out that radiation is NOT simply particles of super-hot dust...but that doesn't make the Fukushima disaster any less terrifying. Music by Trip Shakespeare, The Explorers Club, and Ronnie Mack.

Very few legacies go un-sodomized in perpetuity, so one more shouldn’t really matter... but when Michael Bay’s evil grip closes around the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it gets personal for Rob and action must be taken! Armed with naught but their wits, their mics, and the specter of the Fear Monkey to keep them in line, the men of The Spoon and special guest Fletcher Rhoden charge happily into the fray. If it be a sin to covet honor, we are the most offending souls alive. Join us in glory! Also, pink slime with a side of sniglets. Music by Parthenon Huxley, Peter Holsapple & Chris Stamey, and Linus Of Hollywood